The first light of day had barely begun to shine on the Black tower training grounds when Valarian returned from his usual jogging route. It felt good to go back to his old routine after those dreadful peace deliberations in Tear. He had hoped that being away from the Black tower for such a long time would be good for his mental health, but the people of Tear had been too hardheaded to feel really at ease with them. But at least he had been able to put his mind to other bothersome things then before. He overlooked the training grounds before heading for the Black Tower. There weren't many men training. Valarian wondered if everyone was slacking off nowadays.

A few minutes later he arrived in his office. It had been very late at night when he got back to his study the day before. So this was the first time he sat down at his desk. In his absence other asha'man had been assigned to take care of his paperwork. Yet there was one report lying on his desk. He picked up the sheets of paper. They were signed two day before. He read it.

The file reported an accident in asha'man Nayan's basic saidin class. A soldier had apparently lost control over Saidin and died. Name of the deceased: Seregar Velion. Age 17. Valarian immediately saw why the boy's name didn't ring a bell. He had only been in the black tower for three weeks. On the second page he found the statements of the teacher and the fellow soldiers that had attended the class. Most of the statements were the same. The accident had happened when the students were asked to weave a flame. The teacher had ordered them to put out the fire after everyone succeeded. Soldier Seregar drew the flame closer to blow it out but then instead he tried to put out the flame using saidin. The flame instead blew up in his face and the boy's head partially exploded. The teacher was able to put out the fire, and four students were taken to the infirmary with several burning wounds. The student that had stood next to Seregar had reported the flame the deceased was trying to put out first grew larger, at which point the boy lost a thread in the weave and the flame exploded.

Even though the teacher, Asha'man Nayan was of shen al'Aman Val, up until this point it was unclear to Valarian why a copy of this report had been lying on his desk. But then he noticed the last sheet of paper. It was a request from asha'man Nayan, who wanted his students to get special counseling because they had been traumatized by the incident. They had seen the severely damaged corpse of their friend, the boy's face was completely gone. Nayan had done his best to describe the dead soldier as gruesome as possible. He insisted the boys should be separated from the others for a while. Valarian sighed and took his pen. This wasn't even worth taking out a new sheet of paper. Request denied. he wrote underneath Nayan's plead, and signed with his name. Case closed.

---------------------------------------------

The next morning Valarian was working in his office when a knock on his door made him look up from his paperwork. "Come in." The asha'man who stepped inside was a slender man of short posture. Long, neatly tied blonde hair swept loosely over the back of his uniform when he closed the door behind him. Asha'man Jillas Tenei of shen al'Aman Val. A well trusted colleague, who would in other circumstances be welcome, but Valarian suspected he was here on behalf of Asha'man Nayan, to support his request. He knew both men fairly well, he knew they were friends, and they always agreed with each other. If their physical traits hadn't been so different, one could easily think they were brothers.

"Rei Valarian." He greeted him with a respectful bow.

Valarian gestured the asha'man to sit in the chair in front of the desk, but Jillas seemed to prefer to stand. "Sir, I came to you to discuss asha'man Nayan 's request to-"

"No means no, Jillas. I don't want to hear anything of it again. I have already dismissed that request and I won't have you march into my office to plead for those ridiculous ideas, and that's final. Besides it is still unclear whether Nayan himself is to be held responsible for this incident." Valarian did not have to raise his voice to make clear his decision was not open for dispute. Jillas sighed. Obviously nervous. He knew he was getting on the Rei's nerves even though the man's expression didn't show any emotion. He sighed, and inhaled as if he was assembling his courage to try once more. "One of the soldiers refuses to call on the one power for days now, and another one was captured at the gates of Tar Valon in an attempt to-"
"Then send them to the master of soldiers and have them punished!"
"They are traumatized." Jillas kept pleading. "They have seen a fellow soldier, a friend, die in front of their eyes... You have read the report."

"Every gruesome detail." Valarian sighed. A few seconds of silence filled the dense air before he spoke again. "You have lost several friends and colleagues, dying in front of your eyes, some in just as gruesome ways. And so have I. We both experienced the pain of loss." Jillas looked down. Few people dared to look Valarian in the eyes when they remembered the death of his bond mate. No loss was greater than his. Jillas could feel the rei's eyes on him while he stared at the carpet. "Everyone has to deal with death for the first time at some point. We've all been traumatized. I still don't see why these soldiers' experience should be considered to be different in any way. And I will certainly not approve special treatment for them. If they are physically fine, they can continue their training. And those who disobey will be disciplined. Dismissed."

Jillas knew by now his cause was completely lost, and turned around to walk to the door, still looking down to the carpet. Just when his hand touched the cold metal of the door cling Valarian halted him. "Jillas." The other asha'man turned around and looked at the rei, still sitting at his desk. "The soldier that refused to channel. If you have difficulty with him you can send him to my office." Jillas stared at him without moving, not sure if he should say something. Did Valarian just insult him by suggesting his incompetence, or did he mean what he said? "That was all Jillas. You can go now". The asha'man greeted Valarian with a bow and removed himself quickly from the office.

Valarian leaned back in his chair. Have I become more heartless or have the asha'man of the Black Tower really become so weak? We're not a damn kindergarten.