Fenelon made his way through the nighttime crowd like a snake, careful, dodging glances directed at his person. Apart from his black Asha'man outfit, he wore a black wooden cloak that had its hood pulled up to hide his face except for his lips. He skittered through Tar Valon's outer alleys, finally coming to a particularly shabby corner of the city near the Caemlyn bridge. It was here that the N'Dore entered a few more alleys, each one growing tighter than the other, and finally came to a miserable old shack that stood dangerously on the island's edge.

Desolation surrounded the little building; the roof was bad-looking that you could think a single gust of wind could make it cave in. The walls were all peeling, revealing the mud bricks within, the foyer was surrounded with decay, and even from a distance of fifty meters Fenelon could catch a whiff of mildewed cloth. The man wrinkled his nose and pulled back his hood, allowing his waist-length red hair to spill graciously down his back. He touched saidin, and materialized a green fireball that was suspended some five inches from his palm. He let the fireball flicker its green light.

He felt the familiar tickle of saidin nearby, and from the pitch-black windows of the shack an orange flame that flickered too in the same cadence his green flame had. Fenelon wetted his lips anxiously and proceeded to enter the building. The foyer creaked dangerously under his boots. He went inside (there was no door to speak of, and the remnants of the hinges were rusted beyond recognition), and the strong smell of decay and mildew attacked his nose. But he resisted the temptation of covering his nose with a gloved hand. He squinted through the darkness; the shadows were unnaturally thick.

"Edeleas?" he whispered into the layered silence. "Edeleas, please, I cannot see you."

"I am here." a cold voice spoke; a voice that was barely human to Fenelon's ears. "To your right, Fenelon, take ten steps."

Swallowing, the N'Dore obeyed. At once his eyes caught the outline of a shadowy lump sitting cross-legged on the moldy floor. With great difficulty, Fenelon folded his legs underneath him as well, and Edeleas materialized a small white ball of light that hovered between their faces. Fenelon stared. Edeleas, the new Master of Soldiers and of Dieb Cha, bore the usual marks of being Turned. His green eyes belonged to that of a corpse, and his face seemed waxy-looking that made it almost mask-like. But there were shadows under the younger Asha'man's eyes. Fenelon knew he was serving penance, and that was great shame for someone of his ranking.

"So how does it go, Edeleas?" Fenelon spoke in the Old Tongue. Useful tool, the ancient language. "When do you start? I received an order ..."

"I know you received it," the short Cairhienin snapped back fluently. "But the Red Shen has been tailing me. I was distracted by their moves, and if you join me, it'll make things look more suspicious. I first thought of Shadowspawn, but that is easy, considering the age and power of our target..."

"Not Trollocs, surely?" Fenelon whispered.

"Of course not, bloody idiot!" the other answered sharply. "Graymen. Three of them for each target. I would prefer a gholam more, but it'll damage us too...so there it is. Graymen. The exact date will be the celebration for the Dragon Reborn." Edeleas' voice dripped with contempt at the name. "In the city. And exactly three weeks...the other target."

"Will that be so easy?" Fenelon asked. "I do not mean to be pessimistic."

Edeleas waved a hand. "I have everything planned. You leave the first target to me. I will send for you when we tackle the next target."

Fenelon nodded. "I understand."

"Good. Now leave."

Promptly, Fenelon stood up and pulled up his hood once more. He immediately left the decaying shack, taking in great gulps of air that bathed his anxious lungs. Casting a final look at the miserable dwelling, Fenelon shifted under his cloak and went to go back to the Black Tower before his absence could be noticed. He shook his head. He was an Asha'man of eighty years, but here he was, obeying orders from a boy of no more than thirty-five winters. He did not even sound like the older man in their conversation. Of course he had reason to obey. Edeleas was not just a simple Friend of the Dark. He was Dreadlord, and he was quite famous for his fiery temper. Fenelon shuddered yet again as the shadows swallowed him up.

"Put those pots in the shelf! And be quick about it!" the obese Mistress of the Kitchens shouted, waving her ladle threateningly over Edeleas's head. The Master of Soldiers obeyed wordlessly and proceeded to stack up the gleaming pans he had recently washed to the said shelf, his face unnaturally blank, though in truth he was snarling fit to shame a horde of hungry torm. As he moved the pots neatly, Edeleas paused for a moment and wiped the beads of sweat that bedewed his forehead. It was hard not to let the heat touch oneself in the kitchens, especially if you were being ordered around by the Mistress of Kitchens like a slave. That day Edeleas submitted himself to countless errands - menial chores, mainly - he boiled water, cooked some soup, cut up meat and vegetables and of course, washed all the tottering piles of greasy pots and dishes under the mockery of the other persons in the place.

It was his penance for the disaster in the Library, and Rialt was determined to shame him so much he no longer had face left to face all of his brother Asha'man. The thing had been going on for weeks now, and oftentimes Edeleas went back to his office at night massaging his back. But he did not complain; he only obeyed meekly...his time would come later. But it was downright shameful for someone as him - Master of Soldiers of the Black Tower - to be scurrying around in the kitchens doing servants' works. No doubt the other Asha'man were sneering behind his back, but let them sneer as long as they wanted. And if Rialt thought this punishment was doing its job, well, how very mistaken he was.

"Done," Edeleas muttered as he pushed back his rolled sleeves. "Anything else?"

The fat woman looked around as if trying to find anything else for Edeleas to do, but then the Kitchen was already clean she could not find a speck for him to wipe off. She looked at him severely as if he was a Soldier misbehaving, and then she jerked her head toward the door. Edeleas removed the yellowing apron atop his Asha'man black and left the Kitchens without so much as a word. He treaded the familiar path back to the Black Tower, knuckling his back as he went, ignoring funny looks from the other Asha'man. Of course only they knew of his penance, and many thought he deserved it for being such an indolent goatkisser. Well, let them sneer.

Edeleas reached his dark office and fumbled around to change into a fresh set of robes. Afterwards he opened a gateway for himself that took him near Tar Valon's Caemlyn bridge and he stepped through. The night was cool and crisp, and he quickly set off at a brisk pace toward a place he knew well. There was a rotting shack nearby, and it was here he would rendezvous with another Friend of the Dark, another one whom Briallan ordered him to correspond with. Ignoring the tang of mildew and decay, Edeleas entered the building and sat down at the far corner, where shadows were thickest. There he waited...

He very nearly dozed off when he sensed someone touch saidin from outside, and all traces of sleep left him. He saw the green flicker, and he answered it with his orange one. Creaky footsteps soon sounded, and a voice that was thick with the accents of Tarabon. "Edeleas? Edeleas, please, I cannot see you."

"I am here," he replied, and the creaky steps got nearer, until a hulking outline stood before him and sat down too. Edeleas materialized some light, and he beheld Fenelon Astarte, Asha'man of N'Dore al'Mordero, before him. Fenelon spoke quickly in the Old Tongue. The conversed quickly and quietly in the ancient language. Edeleas explained fully what they had to do. He had to handle the first target alone. He had some scores to settle. Fenelon would not dare interfere...unless he liked to have a dance with a pair of gholam. After a few confirmations, Fenelon fled into the night. Edeleas remained in the shack for a few more minutes before standing up. His back no longer felt so sore.

He went out into the night too, breathing in the cool breeze. He rubbed his nose surreptitiously, as the tang of mildew and decay still clung to it resolutely. He took a few tentative steps, and then he sensed that he was not alone. He stood, wary, one hand quickly touching the hilt of his wakizashi. He was not alone. He touched saidin ready too just in case.

Marian was utterly exhausted from the past few days of work. In the midst of teaching three novices to channel, teaching a class on holidays, running her Ajah, she was also helping the city prepare for the Feast of the Dragon. The Aes Sedai seemed to think that for a Gray sister as newly raised as she, the task would be perfect, just to get some experience under her wings. Well, she had news for them – coordinating decorations for a festival was not nearly as difficult as setting the Aes Sedai of the Gray Ajah straight. Truth be told, except for the extra stress, Marian was enjoying the project. It got her out of the Tower, and she was able to escape her paperwork on a daily basis. Of course, it meant more work late into the night. Marian was growing a bit snappy, merely because of the stress and lack of sleep. Then again though, that certainly kept the Gray sisters in line. They hadn’t forgotten when she’d sent Mercea to Tarabon merely for bringing her the wrong tea. That wasn’t the actual reason – Mercea had been trying to keep information from Marian in order to manipulate the Ajah – but it still scared the Gray sisters. When she had been chosen for this task in the city, they thought she was going to explode on them all.

She smiled to herself, throwing the package that contained her dress into her saddlebag. If it kept the Gray sisters in line, Marian was all right with it. She had learned quite quickly that the Three Oaths could be useful in many ways. She understood now why Aes Sedai were considered so tricky and untrustworthy – partly because they were and also because they didn’t have to admit to everything. Marian had mastered the second part of that by now, knowing very well the old hags of women with in her Ajah wanted very much to be the Head Clerk themselves. They should have chosen themselves then, she thought.

The city was too busy for her to actually ride her horse, so she led it through the streets, looking up at the decorations she had helped plan and put up. She was pleased with how it was all turning out, and she was very thankful that they would not need her in the city today. She had several large stacks of paperwork to catch up, but she planned to use the time to sleep. She had slept a mere four hours the night before, and that was hardly enough to go off of for a full day. She actually found herself relieved to get back to the White Tower, yearning for some hot tea and a bath.

Marian found herself getting frustrated with the crowds, so she took off towards a small shack that she doubted had been used for years. She wondered why it still stood alone there, but she was enjoying the quiet… Until she heard voices. A chill crept up her spine as she heard the first one speak. "Edeleas? Edeleas, please, I cannot see you." Oh, Light. It couldn’t be. She froze.

Edeleas had been troubling her since he had come back. That had been a few years now, and he was Master of Soldiers, but she knew something was different. No longer did she regard him as a friend, and her heart grew cold at the thought of it. But not this… She couldn’t admit this to herself. "I am here.” Her heart dropped completely, hearing his voice. She tried to think reasonably. Maybe he was planning a surprise for the Feast or… Or… Light!

The two of them spoke in the Old Tongue, it seemed, and Marian wished with all her heart she had taken more classes on it as an Accepted. She wanted to know what they were saying. She wanted to know what Edeleas was up to. Somewhat anyway. She was torn. She didn’t want to know what had become of her friend, if he had… she couldn’t even admit it to herself. How could she have been so stupid not to see it in the first place?

Suddenly, the first man, one that Marian did not recognize slipped into the night. She froze, realizing how stupid she was being now. Light. If they were… If they were… what she thought, she was hardly a match for them, and now, she hadn’t left. She was going to get caught her. Light, she was going to have to confront Edeleas. I knew I should have chosen the Green Ajah, her mind babbled.

If she touched Saidar, he would surely sense her, but what if he sensed her anyway? If she was not holding Saidar… Marian had never been sure of how strong Edeleas was in the power, but usually the Asha’man were stronger than Aes Sedai. If he sensed her, even without Saidar, he’d easily be able to put a shield up. Then she would be completely defenseless.

She embraced Saidar cautiously, though she let it fill her to the brim, wishing she had an angreal.

Edeleas let out a long breath as he felt goosebumps pop up across his arms and at the back of his neck. Quickly his mind sought out the faces of the Friends of the Dark that he knew, searching. What could the Black Ajah need from him, a member of the Shen al'Shadar? The sisters always liked to do things their own way, and his brothers were the same. In fact they never did trust each other fully. The Black Ajah was full of itself; they kept their noses high in the air and insisted that they remain the Great Lord's hands in the towers. But saidin was already cleansed, and no doubt in terms of the power the Shen al'Shadar was stronger. These women only could pride themselves with their linking and so-called eyes-and-ears.

Letting his hands slip away from his swords' hilts, Edeleas concentrated. He withdrew into himself, growing so quiet he could have been a statue. Inside him, he wrestled with the raging male half of the True Source. plucking out Spirit and twisting it into a rock-hard shield. No woman could break through his shielding, not unless she was using an angreal. Edeleas was strong in the Power, and so were his shields. He concentrated, next plucking Air. A shield and a rope to prevent escape, now...then his head turned automatically toward a shadowy alley. He took a step toward it and hurled his Shield and ropes toward whoever was standing there. He heard the frightened whicker of a horse, and a thud, as if somebody had fallen. Two fireballs of saidin Fire materialized around him.

He stopped dead on his tracks upon seeing Marian Skylas on the ground, lying bound by invisible ropes. She was looking at him with the utmost horror, and he barely had time to comment on how funny she looked, lying there bound invisibley and gagged with Air. Edeleas let his guard down. For a bit. Marian may have no Warders, but he could never be sure. He bent over her and helped her into a sitting position. Still that expression of horror on her face never changed. Tears actually started to brim on her eyes as she looked at him with wide-eyed disbelief.

"What are you doing here, Marian?" he said softly, brushing dirt off her clothes. Her horse had vanished. "It's late, and you shouldn't be out here, especially in this part of Tar Valon. Thieves lurk here. Everywhere you can find thieves, even in this so-called greatest city of the world." He looked at her face. Was she crying? He couldn't know; his eyes had been poor from the start. "So you caught me talking with another of my brothers." Her eyes widened some more, if that was possibly. Edeleas gave her a sad little chuckle. "Yes, Marian. I guess there's no point hiding in, especially now you've caught me in the act. I am a Darkfriend, Marian. But apart from that, I am also a Dreadlord. Didn't you say you wanted to know what happened to me?"

Now he was sure she was crying. Edeleas could not know what took over him that night. He just wanted to talk. To share the horror of what had happened six years ago with someone who could understand. He wanted to tell all of it to Rialt, of course, but it was only a disaster. Marian was no Healer, but still, Edeleas felt somewhat sure that she had been a friend. Was this his good side surfacing again? Hopefully. He folded his legs underneath him so that he sat down on the ground before Marian. He did not let go of her shoulders. He looked up at her, choosing his words carefully.

"You remember I left Tar Valon after being raised. You were the last person I saw before I took the journey." He explained. "I was looking for whom I thought was a friend. I found him, all right, in Aringill. But then..." he gave a short laugh. "He betrayed me. I was not aware he was a Darkfriend. I was too stupid back then, Marian. I shouldn't have left Tar Valon. I should've stayed with you and Kathera. He betrayed me, Marian, and the next thing I knew, I was in Shayol Ghul, surrounded by thirteen channelers and thirteen Fades."

He paused, wetting his lips. He looked at her. She was still shaking her head. Of course she wouldn't understand. How he wanted to tell her...no, not just her, also Rialt...he wanted them to understand. After a considerable moment, he took up where he left.

"Can you imagine the pain, Marian?" he asked quietly. "The pain of the oaths unraveling from your body, no matter how hard you fought? Helpless than a corpse, and weaker than a worm. The oaths gone, and then the Great Lord's hand comes and captures your soul, locking it in a cage of fire with no boundaries. Pain beyond pain, Marian. All because I was serving the Light and for some reason I cannot know, I caught their eye. And here I was, after three months." He gestured slightly to himself. "I am a darkfriend, Marian. All those years I was deployed in Shara. I killed countless many. Why? I wanted to live, Marian. I wanted to live in order to find out how to return to the Light. I did not want to die damned."

He dropped his gaze for a moment and gave his glasses a quick push. Smiling sadly at his friend, Edeleas removed the gag from Marian's mouth. He even brushed away a stray lock of hair from her face. Above their heads, the stars twinkled idly in a pitch-black sky.

Marian ran the exercises she had learned as a novice through her head again and again, trying to keep herself calm and in control. No matter how hard she tried though, her breathing sounded too loud, and she couldn't imagine even a deaf person not hearing her heart beat as it raced, thumping in her chest. She couldn't manage to ignore the temperature, and she felt a thick drop of sweat roll down her temple. She knew that there was no way in hell she was not going to be caught. Light, she thought desperately. What am I going to do? Or more importantly... What is he going to do? They weren't friends anymore. Marian doubted she had any protection against him now. He was Asha'man. Saidin over Saidar. There was barely a smidgeon of chance for her...

She felt Saidin slide between her and Saidar like a knife, cutting through any hope that she had had. Air wrapped her tightly, and she couldn't stop herself from falling. You idiot, Marian, she thought furiously at herself. You fool! It was completely her fault for getting into this mess. She couldn't be patient with the crowds... She had been curious... Too curious for her own good! Even then, upon seeing the other man, she could have stepped back into the shadows, gone for some help. She knew what she had heard. She didn't need further proof than that. Perhaps Asha'man Rialt or the Amyrlin Seat... She had at least met the two of them, and they were among the most powerful people in the Towers... She realized her mind was babbling. She couldn't do anything now.

What was the worst part about it was seeing Edeleas step into the shadows to see her on the ground. She knew that her face was probably watching him with terror and horror that she felt coursing through her. She had wanted to believe that there was still a good part of him. She knew he had changed, but he didn't want this. Why this? Tears slipped out, rolling down her cheeks, but she barely noticed him. She wanted to flinch when he touched her, pulling her into a sitting position, but of course, the weaves of Air stopped that. She didn't want to believe it.

"What are you doing here, Marian?" he said quietly. That made her cry all the more, trying to shake her head in revulsion as he brushed... He was brushing dirt off her clothes, something that Marian would have conceived as gentle - an action of the old Edeleas - if she had not been in such a state. Why was he doing this? He wasn't... He couldn't be! He was still Edeleas, no matter what had happened. She looked at his eyes, searching them. They seemed to hollow and cold, but Marian wanted to find that light behind them that she had known so well as an Accepted.

"It's late, and you shouldn't be out here, especially in this part of Tar Valon. Thieves lurk here. Everywhere you can find thieves, even in this so-called greatest city of the world." She cried even more, wanting to hate him for what he was, what she knew he was without him saying it, but the more she tried, the more she remembered of the smiling Dedicated she had cared for so much as a friend.

Don't tell me... She had changed her mind. She didn't want to know about him anymore. Her throat ached to scream and sob at the same time, and she wanted to go away, far away from Andor and never have to think about it again, for she had found something in his cold eyes - pain. Never had she considered before the pain he might be going through. She couldn't imagine Edeleas ever submitting without good reason. "So you caught me talking with another of my brothers." She didn't want to hear those words. Light. She wanted to shut her eyes and wish this nightmare away.

"Yes, Marian. I guess there's no point hiding in, especially now you've caught me in the act," he said. She tried to jerk away, but she could barely tense her muscles in the bonds of Air. She wanted to cover her ears. She wanted him to dispel her memory from her, forcing her to forget ever meeting Edeleas the Asha'man. She wanted her old memories of him, and that was all. "I am a Darkfriend, Marian. But apart from that, I am also a Dreadlord. Didn't you say you wanted to know what happened to me?" She wept, bitterly, though she couldn't make any noise. No, not anymore...

He sat down before her, holding her shoulders and looking up into her eyes. She couldn't tear her own away from his green ones, and she kept her wishing for this only to be a dream, a nightmare, but she knew in her heart that it was not. Come back, Edeleas... Come back. She didn't want him to be a darkfriend. She didn't want him to be a dreadlord. Light. He couldn't be. He was Edeleas. She tried to form the picture of the smiling Edeleas he had been as a Dedicated, but the memory kept slipping away, and she was forced to just look at him and cry.

"You remember I left Tar Valon after being raised. You were the last person I saw before I took the journey." She remembered. Light. She should have stopped him, done something. I didn't know, she thought sadly. I was powerless... Just as I am now. "I was looking for whom I thought was a friend. I found him, all right, in Aringill. But then..." The laugh he gave sent a chill down her spine. "He betrayed me. I was not aware he was a Darkfriend. I was too stupid back then, Marian. I shouldn't have left Tar Valon. I should've stayed with you and Kathera. He betrayed me, Marian, and the next thing I knew, I was in Shayol Ghul, surrounded by thirteen channelers and thirteen Fades." Her heart was torn in pieces. If it was as he said, then he really had had no choice. He could be lying, but the way he spoke made her believe him, and she couldn't believe otherwise. Light, Edeleas, come back...

She shook her head, keeping her wishes and her prayers going. A foul string of curses went towards her mind, but nothing she thought of could curse Shadow the way she wanted to. Using Shai'tan against Shadow was pathetic - Shai'tan was Shadow.

"Can you imagine the pain, Marian?" His voice was soft now, and she looked in his eyes, the pain she had recognized earlier more apparent. "The pain of the oaths unraveling from your body, no matter how hard you fought? Helpless than a corpse, and weaker than a worm. The oaths gone, and then the Great Lord's hand comes and captures your soul, locking it in a cage of fire with no boundaries. Pain beyond pain, Marian. All because I was serving the Light and for some reason I cannot know, I caught their eye. And here I was, after three months." She would have shuddered, if not for the Air. She felt herself wanting to comfort him, though part of her knew it was wrong. He's a bloody Dreadlord! part of herself cursed. "I am a darkfriend, Marian. All those years I was deployed in Shara. I killed countless many. Why? I wanted to live, Marian. I wanted to live in order to find out how to return to the Light. I did not want to die damned."

She heard her sobs for the first time, realizing that he had removed the gag of Air from her. She looked through bleary eyes at him as he brushed away some of her hair. His smile was sad, and Marian cried all the more, though her sobs turned to silent crying. For a moment, she thought she saw that same spark in his eyes that she recognized from many years before, but she couldn't be sure - it might have been the tears clouding her vision.

Marian was torn. Her emotions fought with each other in her head. Anger, frustration, sadness, compassion... Light. What was she supposed to do? She just watched him, unsure. He didn't seem as though he was going to kill her, but she still felt the fear inside. He was a Dreadlord, no matter how much of the old Edeleas had surfaced. "The Light burn you," she whispered, blinking some more tears to stream down her face. She hadn't meant it in such a literal way - more for making her feel like this than anything. She wasn't thinking about all the people he had killed. She didn't think about all the crimes he had committed, though that would have been her first duty, really, as a Gray sister. Instead, she felt herself crying for him, for all he had been through. Why him? she cried out silently to the stars. He was a good man! She burned with anger at the world as she looked back to him.

The tears had stopped now, though it had certainly been some time before they did. She wasn't sure how long they sat there. She just looked at him, studying his eyes. Was he really being truthful? She couldn't imagine a single reason in the world for him to actually tell her the truth, but for some odd reason, she couldn't believe he was being insincere. Contemplating to herself, it took her an awful long time to say, quite firmly, "Do you speak the truth, and the Light help you if you are not." Her voice was cutting and sharp now. She was not in control of the situation, and she knew it, but she was still Aes Sedai. Asha'man may have their strength, but Aes Sedai had their wits, and the Light knew that Marian was fairly powerful in that department, what with her network of Gray sisters.

She watched his eyes, for a moment fearlessly. If he spoke the truth, she was going to know it. He would not lie to her. She hoped.

"The Light burn you," said Marian. "Do you speak the truth, and the Light help you if you are not."

Marian's voice was sharp, a definite contrast against her face, where her last tears still left some glittering rivulets down her cheeks. Edeleas gently removed his hands from her shoulders, and slowly, against his imbued instincts, removed the ropes of Air around her and the Shield. He knew it was overly dangerous for him to lift the shield, but he needed to prove to Marian that after everything else that had been fed into his soul...that no matter how damned he had been...he could still be that same young boy he vaguely remembered. How sad, he thought. I can barely remember my own self anymore. He hated what he was, hated what he had been turned to every damn day of his life. All he wanted was to return to the Light. To be what he once was.

"I may be Dreadlord, Marian." He answered simply, stating nothing but the facts. "But that does not mean I can no longer tell the truth. The Great Lord's touch has not taken that from me, unlike the oaths and my memories. I am telling you the truth. Look into my eyes, Marian. Are they not the eyes of a corpse? The Turning has killed something within me. I can influence fear wherever I go, like a Fade." Thinking of Fades made rage well up in him. But Marian did not need to know what he had undergone at the hands of the Eyeless. "I command hordes of Shadowspawn underneath me. Where I point, they go. I can summon a Trolloc here, if you want." He paused. "No, no, I am babbling. I told you the truth. If you want further proof, I can show it to you."

He did not want Marian to see the gruesome scars, but if she wanted to, he could readily open his robe; suffice it to say that his upper body had changed so much, he himself found it unrecognizable. A cool breeze blew, and it only emphasized the silence. Edeleas took a moment to remove his glasses and polish it with his sleeve before wearing it again. He looked up at her.

"Had you been an other person, I would have killed you right there and then. I would not have wasted my time with babblings." He whispered. "But there is this something in me...something I can no longer understand, that tells me that I must not raise a hand at you. Funny, isn't it. I really don't feel much anymore nowadays. You must have noticed it too. I can't smile to widely. It costs me too much effort. I cannot find humor in the other Asha'man's jokes, which is why they find me peculiar. But I can say to you that I am quick to anger, quick to hate...and..." He gave a helpless shrug of his shoulders. "I cannot even remember your face correctly when we first met again. I could not even recall your Ajah, remember? I don't know. Too much is missing."

He made a small gesture. "But I don't want you to pity me, Marian. I don't think I can..." he made an indistinct sound in his throat. He was not aware that a single tear had started dripping down his cheek. "I need help, that's what I need most. I need to find a way if the Great Lord's hold on my soul can be severed, and if I could regain all the memories, all the sensations that I had lost. I want to go to Rialt, but..." He gave a hollow laugh. "He hates darkfriends. He wouldn't give me a chance to explain, like you did."

To her surprise, after he moved his hands away from her shoulders, the bonds of Air disappeared. Even more to her surprise, she made no move against him, even when she felt the Shield between her and saidar disappear also. She didn't even embrace the source, and it wasn't because she knew that he still held the power in this conversation, if it could be called that. Something else within her held her back, and Marian kept listening to him, her eyes sharp and firm on his gaze.

"I may be Dreadlord, Marian," he said. Marian still didn't want to believe those words, but she knew she must. She couldn't go on living and not believe them. What she had seen was proof enough. "But that does not mean I can no longer tell the truth. The Great Lord's touch has not taken that from me, unlike the oaths and my memories. I am telling you the truth. Look into my eyes, Marian. Are they not the eyes of a corpse? The Turning has killed something within me. I can influence fear wherever I go, like a Fade." She held her tongue, though she was impatient. She knew that he could still tell the truth, but she wanted to know if he was. If he could not even diretly answer the question... He began speaking again though, and she shoved her thoughts away, still focusing on his cold eyes. "I command hordes of Shadowspawn underneath me. Where I point, they go. I can summon a Trolloc here, if you want." She opened her mouth to object to that, but he kept speaking. "No, no, I am babbling. I told you the truth. If you want further proof, I can show it to you." She shook her head.

She believed him. She needed no further proof. Her mind was screaming at her body, telling her to do all sorts of things... run, hide, hit him, embrace Saidar, try and kill him... As if, she thought darkly to herself. Marian was no idiot. She was not a match for Edeleas, no matter how strong she was as Aes Sedai. In these circumstances, he could kill her without a thought, even without the Shield on Saidar.

"Had you been an other person, I would have killed you right there and then. I would not have wasted my time with babblings," he whispered to her. She looked at him, wondering why he had not killed her. It seemed now as though he did not mean to, though that did not relax Marian anymore. She watched a tear drip down his cheek, and she had never felt so awful in her life, even though she was in the presence of a Dreadlord. "I need help, that's what I need most. I need to find a way if the Great Lord's hold on my soul can be severed, and if I could regain all the memories, all the sensations that I had lost. I want to go to Rialt, but..." Her eyes widened for a moment. He was asking for help. Light, she had not expected that at all. "He hates darkfriends. He wouldn't give me a chance to explain, like you did."

Marian felt herself soften a little bit, the compassionate side of her winning over the one that knew he was part of Shadow. She moved to him and wiped his tear away gently with her finger. Taking his head in her hands, she forced him to look at her. "I will help you," she said quietly, voice not wavering. Marian knew that it could be no other way. She couldn't bring herself to even try to kill him, and turning him in... Well, that would have to be taken care of. "But I must not... I must not have the chance to turn you in." She couldn't believe what she was saying. She was asking him to... Light, she was asking him to perform a dark weave on her. Part of her still screamed at her angrily, but she had to ignore it. She was going against everything the Aes Sedai stood for, everything she had ever known, but Marian knew that she couldn't do otherwise. He was Edeleas. He had changed. She had hated him. But he was still Edeleas, and she couldn't abandon him in this darkness.

"I will help you, but I must not... I must not have the chance to turn you in."

Edeleas reached up a hand and touched one of the hands that Marian used to hold his head. He looked up at her, wishing so much that he could remember what else they had both been through as a friend. He wished he could remember, but all of the wishes were lost at the sudden surge of emotions he was experiencing at that moment. He had not felt so overwhelmed by such emotions in years. Six solid years of only anger, hatred and solitude. It was quite new, this feeling rushing to him, but he had a name for it. It was gratitude. But Marian...

"But Marian," he whispered. "What you are asking of me...am I to lose the last of my salvation? Mental Sealing is a Dark Weave and..." he could not continue as he looked into her eyes. There was a spark in there that told him all of this was taking all of her resolution. She was Aes Sedai, but for his sake, and the sake of their friendship, she was throwing all of it away. Just for him. The whole scene called forth another drop of tear from his dead eyes. And then suddenly he just couldn't hold it all anymore. The Light burn me forever but...

He cried, cried like an idiot , cried like a child, but most of all, he just cried. He leaned on Marian's shoulder and cried, letting it all out, everything he had kept bottled up in him for six long years in the darkness. He knew he looked stupid, he knew it was foolish, but he just cried. He remembered every single person he'd killed, every single painful moment of being alone, and he cried for them all. It took him a while, but Marian was just there, offering him something he thought he had lost forever. Afterward, he drew away from her.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Marian?" he asked, softly.

He touched one of her hands, and it made her choke up all over again, remembering him as a Dedicated. She really doubted that he remembered those years - he hadn't even been able to remember her Ajah. She didn't care though. Something in him remembered something about her though. Something had made him tell her his story. Light... He had been through so much, and now... She gulped. Within her, she was still torn. He's a Dreadlord! a weak part of her screamed, but it was soon silenced by the look of his eyes. He doesn't want that. "But Marian, what you are asking of me...am I to lose the last of my salvation? Mental Sealing is a Dark Weave and..." She nodded. She knew that it was a dark weave. She was afraid of it, but she knew that she couldn't be allowed to tell anyone. She didn't want Edeleas to be captured and tried as a Darkfriend, but she knew that the part of her loyal completely to the Aes Sedai would try and break out of her promise as a friend to him. It was the only way she could help him.

All of a sudden, Edeleas was crying - crying like she'd never before seen him cry, even as a Dedicated. He rested on her shoulder, and the tears just came. She found herself silently crying with him, though she tried to be more comforting than anything. She embraced him and just let him cry. Light, he hasn't known a friend in years... She couldn't even begin to imagine what he was feeling, only knowing that it was far worse than what she herself was, though even that was tearing her up inside. She knew how much she was putting at stake just to help him. She was putting up her own life. But this is what it is to be Aes Sedai, she thought to herself, recalling her title's name in the Old Tongue - Servant of All. She had told Sapphira Sedai long ago that she had wanted to help people. Looking at the man before her, she could see no better cause. I will help him. That thought silenced all her other ones. She would never forgive herself if she abandoned him. She would never forgive himself if he was lost completely to Shadow. At this point, if he fell, she probably would too.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Marian?" he asked her. She gave a weak smile, looking at him. "What else can I do, Edeleas?" she replied, just as quietly. He probably knew as well as she did that the Aes Sedai would get the better of her otherwise. She realized too that she was not giving a direct answer to him, another thing she had learned as Aes Sedai. She was not completely sure, truthfully, but she knew what had to be done. "I want to help you, Edeleas."

"I want to help you, Edeleas."

Her answer was pure and simple. She wanted to help him. Edeleas removed his glasses once more and wiped his tears away. A good sign...I still know how to cry... he thought to himself. And then he looked up at Marian and in turn wiped her tears away. He straightened up, kneeling before her, saidin raging in him, wanting to be used. He plucked out the needed elements for Mental Sealing, forming the net in him. "I want to tell you that whenever you will want to tell someone of what has taken place between us, you will get an excruciating headache. Trust me when I mean it hurts a lot." He said, his voice low and quiet. "But I also want you to know that I will not forget this Marian. Never, until the Light burns me away."

He touched her cheeks and put their foreheads together, their noses almost touching. "Forgive me, Marian." He whispered. He shut his eyes as he settled the weave into her mind, sealing the memories inside a tight net that could only be removed if he wished. And then, it was done. He drew away. "Don't think of anything, Marian. Not yet. It's painful." He stood up and helped her do the same, busying himself as he brushed her clothes clean. "I...I will find your horse for you. Do not worry, I'll find her. But for now you have to go back to the Towers. Your Ajah must be missing you." He ran a hand through his hair.

He wiped her tears and knelt down in front of her, saying, "I want to tell you that whenever you will want to tell someone of what has taken place between us, you will get an excruciating headache. Trust me when I mean it hurts a lot." She nodded. "I understand," she replied. She was hardly looking forward to it, but it wasn't as if she was going to be floating on daisies. It was a dark weave that she had asked him to perform after all. "But I also want you to know that I will not forget this Marian. Never, until the Light burns me away." She gave a small smile and nodded again. She knew she was right. There was still a small part of him left that was the former Edeleas, and something about this night had brought it back out of him again. Marian missed the old Edeleas, but she was going to find a way to bring him back, even though she knew that he would never be quite the same again.

Their foreheads close together, he said, "Forgive me, Marian." She gritted her teeth as the weave fell on her memories. It was hardly pleasant. It felt almost as the oaths from the oath rod had - tight and binding. She felt constricted, and she realized that she was tightly grasping her skirts in sweaty fistfuls. Her teeth ached from clenching her jaw so hard, so she opened her eyes and tried to relax, trying some novice exercises. Her head pounded with blood rushing to it, and she found that his words were true - "Don't think of anything, Marian. Not yet. It's painful." She felt dizzy as he helped draw her up from the ground and brushed her clothes off. She pressed a hand to her forehead, though that was far from comforting as her hands were hot and sticky now.

"I...I will find your horse for you. Do not worry, I'll find her. But for now you have to go back to the Towers. Your Ajah must be missing you." She looked at Edeleas, attempting to focus her eyes correctly, which she succeeded at, after a moment. Her Ajah? My Ajah? Who gives a damn? she thought darkly, before remembering that she was still Head Clerk of the Gray Ajah, even if this dark weave thing had set in. He didn't know her secrets - and she only knew some of his. She realized with shock that she was yearning for a nice shot of ale, something that she had never done before. Tea had been her remedy for several years.

She put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself for a moment, trying to concentrate. Thinking did hurt, slightly, but she found it better than just letting her mind race as it had been before. After composing herself, at least somewhat, she looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile, one that gave the look of feeling better than she actually did feel. She kissed him quickly on the cheek and whispered, "It's all right, Edeleas. I'm going to help you." She let go of his shoulder to try to walk correctly. She found that she had to think about it to walk in a straight line.

((OOC: I don't know if you wanted to end this yet or not...))

(ooc - yes, it ends with this post. Thanks for RPing with me, it was awesome! :D )


Edeleas gave a start as Marian gave him a swift kiss on the cheek, that he actually stared at her, confused. He guessed he had not been kissed before. True, the gesture had somewhat addled the bond he had; the thing that gripped his soul writhed uncomfortably at such a gesture. He gave a hollow laugh and daintily dropped Marian's hands. "Go, Marian. I will be back shortly with your horse." Touching saidin, he wove Spirit and Air, gathering the shadows around him so that he was completely invisible in the darkness. He saw Marian step back, trying to find where he was. He spoke. "I am still in front of you. But go. Go now." So saying he turned on his heels, still clad in shadow, and disappeared into the winding streets, searching for the missing horse. Edeleas found the animal standing calmly along the quayside, its tail swishing idly. He released the Shadow Cloak he used on himself and took the reins, and though the animal did hesitate, Edeleas had no problem bringing her to his control.

"Hush, come now, your owner won't be happy with me if I do not bring you back." Edeleas told the mare as he gave her a quick pat on the nose. Setting off in the abandoned street, he made his way quietly back toward the Towers, hope surging in him anew, and also Fear. Dead Fear for any of the Chosen who might have seen what he just did. He was going to be punished badly if ever the Great Lord saw fit, but then that punishment would surely end in death, and Edeleas thought it was not a bad thing at all.