ATTENTION! This is the product of two people up very late and my idea of what it would be like if we were to make random chibi comics of the things going on in Fusions. Since I am far too lazy to draw that much schtuff, here it appears in text form, in RP style, and in character! Sort of. None of this REALLY happened, and this isn't quite our character's true personalities. Offensiveness included because we can. Exageration for comedic effect applied liberally. Enjoy.

EDIT from Mahdi: This is an example of how you should NOT post. Notice some of the techniques we use.

_________________

Laridian was pimpin' it. He had the girl hangin' on his every word- he was gonna score tonight for sure. So what if she was Accepted? She was still totally hawt. Plus smart too, which made it more r0xx0rz. They could share books n' stuff after knockin' boots. Laridian was getting ready to seal the deal when all of a sudden, he felt a pang of foreboding.

He could almost feel the thudding of footsteps approaching the inn's doors. They slammed open, admitting...

Rialt Erydinan. The Mahdi al'Tain. And boy was he pissed. He had to be using Illusions, his eyes seemed to be... on fire. And if that wasn't Illusion, well then, that had to hurt like a bitch. Laridian began to get increasingly nervous as the Mahdi made his way to Laridian's table. Flaming eyes and eerily thudding footsteps could not be good. The Accepted just looked confused.

"Mahdi sense... tingling!”

“THE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER!!!” He screamed out in anger. He knew that useless bastard was out trying to whore another accepted. He knew Laridian’s policy, the younger the better. Disgraceful, he should have known that the old ones were better. And to think the little cock-sucker used to be his mentee. He didn’t produce cock-suckers! He produced pimps, not limps…

He grabbed his sword of awesomness from the shelf, and swung it around in big loopey thingys of awesomness, knowing whatever it went into…would produce awesomeness. “I’m gonna shit-kick that little bastard.” And then, he was in the bar…in a poof of air…no seriously he was.

There he was, in all his purple shaggin’ tryin’ ta be pimpin’ motherfuckin’ glory. “You are goin’ I> 0 \/\/ l\l , l3 1 t < h!!!!” He spate out in the old tongue and grabbed onto the True Source.

Laridian stood suddenly, brushing the front of his purple crushed velvet leisure suit. He cocked his pimp hat at just the right angle, and ran his hand along the long feather in it.

All the women in the Inn swooned.

Rialt had formerly been his mentor. It was a miracle of the Light that Laridian had somehow come out of it without a stick up his ass- I mean come on, look what happened to poor Edeleas. But Laridian was too great of a pimp to have his spirit broken.

The gold chains on his chest, (spelling out such things as 'Dieb Cha 4 life' and "WoT Pimp Mutha fuckah' in diamonds) clanking with his movement, settled as he made his way smoothly towards Rialt.

"Hey now, man, you have interrupted myself and the lady. And that just ain't cool, homes, know what I'm sayin'?"

He grabbed the source, forming a weave of air in the shape of a hand, and BITCH-slapped Rialt upside his stuffy head.

"f331 73h p0\/\/n, b307(l-l!!!!!!!!!!1111one" he cried, the ancient Old Tongue Battle cry of his homeland.

“AWWWWW!!!! SKEE7 SKEE7 SKEE7 SKEE7 SKEE7 5333333t, Mothafucka, God-dammmmnnn Skee7 skee7 skee!7!” He sang as the awesomeest power of the hand that slaps bitches landed on his face. Laridian held nothing to him. He whipped the shit out of anyone who ever tried to kick his ass. No one kicked his ass.

No one kicked his ass.

No ass kicking.

No ass of kick doth lay thine hands upon his dick…wait…no…his ass!!!

His own massive sword, he flung to one side, and thus he made all the ladies swoon in response to Laridian’s swooning of them, and it stuck into a wall. TWACK!!!

“You are not 1337!!” The words came out, both in the modern tounge…and in the Old. Eyes of confusion darted between them, the words lost to their poor feeble minds of peasantry. The Fource was tantalizing in his grasp, would he use it, or would he have to revert to his lightsabre/sword of awesomness… He could not decide..therefore…he let Laridian post again instead.

Laridian's head flew back and he froze, half spun where he stood.

"oh no you just din-int, esse..."

He straightened himself, cracking his neck, and frowning. He was well familiar with the fact that no one could kick Rialt's ass... why, he remembered clear as an high definition TV back when he was a Soldier, barely beginning to bloom into his pimpness.

Rialt had said to him, "No one kicks my ass, l3e07<l-l, NO ONE!"

At which point he had promptly back handed Laridian and gone about polishing his diamond encrusted sword of awesomeness.

Now it was true that Rialt was pimp, and it was also true that no one could kick his ass. However, Laridian was a true pimp, and had far surpassed Rialt in his skills and pimpabilities.

"j00 0l\l<3 \/\/3r3 t3h l\/l@573r, bl_l7 l\l0\/\/ 1 r 73h 0l\l3 7rl_l3 p1l\/lp!!!!!11one"

Sliding on his cuendillar knuckles, he leaped forth, slamming his mighty fists into Rialt's forehead, knocking his un-1337 opponent to the groun, and sailing over him.

He landed perfectly, stood, and posed. The words "Bitch" were perferctly implanted into Rialt's forehead.

The women swooned, and this time..... some of the men did as well.

The word of bitch was nothing Rialt had not worn on his forehead before, in fact, once he had worn the word, “1337” And nothing surpassed the 1337ness of that 1337.

Rialt retained a wonderful and good talent.

That Talent was writing in lots of paragraphs and sentences, thus confusing his opponents and refusing to spell badly.

Being a pimp was something one was born to, and just because Laridian wore the purple, and had the bitches, did not make him a pimp. In fact, Rialt had 50 times the bitches Laridian laid claim to…all he needed to do was call Sapphira, the biggest of his bitches. She played hard to get, but everyone knew who she belonged to.

He stared up at the gayness before him, almost blinded by the sheer awesomeness of the outfit, and suddenly realized….., “0h, l\/l07h3rfl_l< l<3r!!! l_l l>ll> l\l07 !!!!!!222oneoneoneoneoneone111!!!!!

The walls trembled with his power enhanced voice. “7h@7’5 l\/l l l\l 3!!!!!222211111” It was infact, it was Rialt’s….the very same one in which he had originally kicked Laridian’s ass in. In fact, Laridian probably still wore the 1337 on his ass. How un-pimpy it was for Laridian to steal Rialt’s pimp purple protector produced prom powesomeness.

"l>l_ld3, j00 l13!!! I got this off tha freshest tailor in Tar Vah-lohn, fuckah. Dinchu know that retro is in?" He pulled his collars forward and threw his head forward at Rialt, the beotch now having the word appropriately emblazoned in his skull.

Rialt had always had too much damn bluster to his pimpness. Sure, he had a lotta bitches man, but did he satisfy 'em all? No way, my man, no way. Lariadian was all about quality over quantity, and while Rialt was off playin with himself, Laridian was tappin' the ass Rialt left neglected. Saphira was surprisingly flexible for all of her icy bitch-queen exterior.

"Maaaaan, I know j00r dirty lil' secret, binche. You think I dee-int, but I do." Laridian grabbed the ultimate source of pimpness, saidin. Weaving air once again, Laridian did the unthinkable.

He pantsed the Mahdi al'Tain of the Black Tower.

While the people to Rialt's front were admittedly impressed, the people behind Rialt recoiled in horror at the sight that lay before them.

It was true that no one could kick Rialt Erydinan's ass... because doing so would shatter their foot and leg. The Mahdi's ass had been transformed into a surface of cuendillar. And there, right in the middle, heading northward into a very uncomfortbale place (no, not a volkswagon) was a stick, transformed into cuendillar, fused to the ass-cuendillar around it.

Rialt really DID have the mother of all sticks up his ass.

ooc -- Sapphira, we love you and this is all in jest. Please don't kill us. This does not give any other person the right to use Mothers name in such a demeaning manner.. Because then ass-kicking shall ensue.


There it was. The world knew his secret. The stick in his ass had been discovered. Finally his students would know, that it was not simply their insignificant blather and bullshit that had him bitching like a whore on the rag, it was the stick.. And not only a stick, but a stick of cuendillar. A cuendillar stick up the ass would fuck anyone up. He was pantless, yes, and pants were good.

Oh yes, the Pants were good.

But it was not the end of his dignity. He knew what to do, he knew that finally Laridian needed to be brought back to the days when he was a homie, and not a pimp. Rialt was going to have to show him the shit, and then smother the shit in his face, so that he smelled of shit forever. The shit wouldrule, oh yes, the shit would rule.

And thus out of the heavens and stemming from the stick in Rialt¡¦s ass, Laridian¡¦s entire pimp suit eluded him and flew into little purlple scraps that little girls use when scrapbooking, and thus it was that out of the heavens the force of pimpyness, saidin itself wrapped itself around Laridian¡¦s massive man-meat, and meticulously molested it¡Kuntil IT WAS IN FACT, OF CUENDILLAR!!! „²--- if you understood that, you get a pretty prize

¡§P@l\l75 @r3 l\l0 b1l\ll> f0r l\/l3!!!!oneoneoneyourmom111111

The sights of those who bore witness to this 1337ness were bore with the site before them¡Kand they protected their gonads¡K¡K.






And strife.

Gonads and strife¡Kand gonads in the lightning¡K IN THE LIGHTNING!!!!!

I think you two have way to much time on your hands.

:huh: :blink: :ph43r:

*cough*

Two reactions:

1) :lol: ROFL


2) 0.o

um...*shakes head* :P

yeah....

Insanity is good! :D

*nods* WAY too much.

*laughs her head off nonetheless*

0.o :blink: :ph43r: uh...*coughs*

Cool, I get to laugh at the Mahdi al'Tain. :lol:

LMFAO!

it is kinda creepy though... :lol:

((And for some unfathomable reason beyond having once again reached an appropriately late hour.... the madness continues. ph34r, mah homies. And more swearing and manly bits. Lots of that.))


Laridian stared in horror at his... his once proud man-meat. He'd just been saidin-raped. His pinnacle of pimpness had just been reduced to a stone-cold pocket rocket. He... he never would have thought Rialt would sink so low. Sure, he was a whiny ass-bitch... but he still had some respect for the guy, respect one extends to any fellow Ash'aman, or pimp. But this... a cuendillar penis. No way man. That was just not pimp.


Laridian glared.

"j00 bil\l(l-l3. j00 r 73h l_l17il\/l473 sl_lxx0rz."

It was a damn good thing that Laridian knew his way around cuendillar. One did not become Rei al'Dieb Cha without knowing a thing or two about how that shit worked. Weaving a complex blend of saidin, it settled into the cuendillar mass at his crotch, and almost magically (miraculously, too, because who could wear pants with an eternal cuendillar boner?) the cuendillar softened, man-meat returning to the shade of pink it was used to. Laridian materialized a pair of his uniform pants, shoving them on, all the while glaring at the un-pimp jack-ass across from him. Tucking his manly bits in as he buttoned the pants, he approached his foe.

"j00, l\/l4h fr13l\ld, r g01l\l DOWN. BE-OTCH." He down-home style pimp-slapped him, and as everyone knows, only the Tairen nobILLity has truly mastered the art of the bitch slap. It was a thing of beauty the way Rialt's head recoiled from the blow, his cheek mashed in and spittle flying from his whiny lips.

"Go suck-a-duck, fuckaah!!" He materialized a sword of fire, daring the binche to make a further move against him.

oooh...christ.... :lol:

More! More! :lol: :lol: :jitter: :jitter:

Yes, yes! More! :lol: :boing-boing:

:thump: :AAAHHH!!:

He watched with a kind of mock horror, stretching across his features like a ghoul at Halloween, like a rubber band in a child’s hand, like your mom and me last night, like dick and stick and Mick and lick all happen to rhyme; it rebounded off of the infinite universal truths around them all, to the deepest corners, the darkest caverns, the highest mountains, from the worst blow job to the best, it ran through the rivers and years, like Robert Jordan’s ridiculous fucking prologs that everyone wants to bitch slap him for because it’s a chore just to say your on the second chapter in any one of the dame things cuz that would mean that you were on page 500 and then you’re friends would all say you read slow, so you would grow up being made fun of, only to take on a bully exterior and become exactly what you loath except 2,000 times worse in the form of a serial killer who mocks the silence of the lambs version of Hannibal Lector, not Red Dragon or what the fuck it was called, I heard that was bad, and thus it would travel, in your life and mine, in trees and parks and planets (captain planet, he’s a herooo!!!), until nothing else was left in the universe, and don’t you just want to slap me for this long fucking sentence, but believe it or not, people actually write like this and never use a single fucking sentence at all, and I can’t end this paragraph until I have more sentences (cuz everyone knows that 3 to 5 sentences makes a paragraph!) and then I’d end it, but I don’t want to do that until I drive every person reading this thread crazy, like Laridian was trying to do with Rialt, so back to Rialt’s facial expression because that’s how Robert Jordan writes sometimes, too much fucking description and minor bullshit instead of plot, and thus Rialt watched (insert current sentence here) and thus it was that Laridian’s lady stick was restored to its not as good as Rialt’s, former glory. “l\l0\/\/ j00 @r3 G01l\l1l\lG l>0\/\/l\l, l>0\/\/l\l l>13b l>1_1l\/lb@55!!!!!!!!!!11111111oneoneoneoneyourmom.” Rialt said sexily. What are you doing Rialt…you can’t take out this dumbass deib…your reputation would be ruined…your pimpness would never be the same again…

For Rialt knew that for the longest time, Laridian had tried to hide his true nature behind that of his pimpness. Being a pimp was masculine, and Rialt knew, just as many unsuspecting prisoners, that Laridian was a homosexual. That’s right boys and girls, he looooved to pack the fudge. There would be mutiny in the streets if the world found out that Rialt discriminated against such people, that he was so…UN- PC!!! And being PC is the end all alpha omega of the WoT bible! You just didn’t do that. Rialt was a nice guy, Lyla could attest to that, so he decided instead of retaliating to the spittle attack Laridian had induced, to try understanding him. “Laridian…my friend…Who are you fooling with this here Accepted? Everyone knows you looooooooooooooooove the cock!”

Omg.. I laughed so hard reading this I've got tears streaming down my face...

That...was priceless.. and that last line is going to have me sniggering to myself like a mad woman for days!

The entire room drew back in stunned silence. Could it be, this man-hunk, this towering symbol of virility, this near god-like sex fiend was....was.. a fairy?!?!? Was he puffing the pink cigar? A poofta? A buggery bastard? An arse bandito? Rear Admiral? Friends with Dorothy? Playing ball for the other team? Not literally on fire but flaming? A snake charmer? Light in the loafers? Separated from a nazi salute by a 45 degree downward angle?!? A knob jockey?! Taking it up the ass from another man?!?! DID HE REALLY LOVE THE COCK, FORSWEARING ALL PUSSY?!??!

"Now wait just a minute, pl_l74!!! Yes, it may be true that I saw Brokeback Mountain and liked it, I indulge in the occasional bout of knitting, I like pretty clothes (but then, what pimp doesn't?), and my hair used to be long like a pretty pretty girl's, but I am NOT gay." He glared accusingly at Rialt. "I," he started imperiously, finger pointed commandingly in the air, "I am an equal opportunity lecher. Bi-sexual, for the lay-man. Whom I occasionally lay."

True, Laridian had his man-hoes, a secret he didn't think Rialt knew, or else Rialt would never have assumed to have had more conquests. Adding man-hoes, Laridian's stable nearly doubled Rialt's own. And as for whether or not Laridian ever had his own fudge packed, well now. A classy pimp does not fuck-and-tell. Maybe he spent wayward drunken nights with a large burly man named Bubba, and maybe he did not. Only the people in the next room would ever know. But then the people in the next room had heard many many names screamed alternately. Bubba, his cousin Bobby Sue, Mariana, Jarina, Edrina, Willem(mm... Willem DaFoe...), Wesley, Kate, Steven, Liz, Adrian, Adrien, Alexa, Michelle, Mabelle, Domo, Hello Central, Kurt, Jessica, Karen, Sheriam, Marissa, even Saphira. And that had just been last week. Really, the people in the next room probably got about zero sleep. Occasionally Laridian felt bad for them, but then became distracted by one hoe or another. Robert Jordan's pillow friends had nothing on him. Maeronen was the pillow MASTER. He tapped ass on both sides of the One Power. (Zekiel was also surprisingly flexible, double-jointed, no less.)

"Well, now... since you've officially 'outed' me, (not that there's anything wrong with it, it's perfectly PC), I think I must add to this confession. Rialt... I have always had a man crush on you. I didn't discover my bisexuality until I was about 60, but even when I was fully straight I admired your physique. Your muscly pecs, strong jaw, and that tight ass.. even if it is cuendillar, I'd still tap it. Light, I could probably get the stick out of it, even." He offered it casually, taken anyway Rialt wanted and easily defensible. It would be quite an accomplishment to tap a Mahdi al'Tain's ass. Especially one with a stick up his posterior. And the removal of the stick was certainly incentive. Old cuendillar was extremely difficult to undo, but it could be done.

((ooc: Zek, please don't kill me. XD))

Rialt made this for me.... it's... *sniff* so beautiful... Really, man, I'm touched. And not in the head or in the creepy way... *is vaklempt*

Rialt's Figurative Masterpeice

Oh, damn, I knew I shouldn't have read this in the library. Now everyone's looking at me like I've gone insane. :lol:

I.......can't........breathe..................





*falls off chair*


:lol:

Rialt smiled at Laridian's declaration. He smiled and talked. They talked for hours. Hours they talked, and so the fish were in the sea. goldfish in the sea. SHIT BLEW UP AND RIALT RULED THE WORLLDSSSSS!!! LARIDIAN WAS HIS BITCH. THE END OF TIME ENSUES< RIALT IS AWESOME>?

ATNJATNAETATYMAYGARYHSYUSRYHKMSRYu

"BOW TO ME" and they did.

ooc -- This post clearly illustrates the tendancy of some people to not RP a sufficient post length, and to not god mod. :) Anyway, that wasn't the real post... realy post to come shortly :P this was just to make you laugh

Whoa! LMAO! I feel so sorry for the people in the next room :lol: