Rahien arched her back, trying to relieve some of the tension in her back as the horse walked on over the dusty road. With each step the animal took, Rahien was more grateful for the fact that the journey from the Aiel Waste to Tar Valon was a short one compared to the weeks they had travelled to the Waste from Saldea. It was almost hard to imagine there had been a time that her body had been free of pain. The Aiel had given her an escort up to Kinslayers Dagger to make sure she would not get lost in the Waste and she had struggled to keep up on horseback where the Far Dareis Mai had been running. Her body would take the strain of a trot only for a very short time and even a gallop she could only keep up slightly longer. At first she had been glad to go on by herself, relieved that she could set her own pace and rest without feeling shamed by the look of contempt from Jomera. After being on the road by herself for three days, she was not so sure. Even the silent company of the Aiel woman had been better than nothing. Rahien subconsciously adjusted the scarf she had arranged to cover most of her face. She had copied the style from the way the Aiel wore the Shoufa, although hers was not meant to protect against the sun and the wind only. Her fingers touched on the protruding bone of what had once been her cheekbone and she winced involuntarily.
Even after weeks she still could not bear to look at herself unless she absolutely had to and she couldn’t remember the last time she had bothered to wash or comb her hair. The horse slowed it’s pace even more and Rahien realised she had subconsciously been reigning it in. Tar Valon loomed up in the distance and made her stomach lurch in sudden anxiety. Tar Valon was a big city, with a lot of people. She had been there a few times as her mother tried to gain access to the White Tower’s library, each time without success. Rahien remembered well how she had spent her time going to balls and dinners with the local nobles and merchants, who were always glad to entertain a pretty young woman who brought news and gossip from distant lands. There would be no balls this time. The parchment of the letter she carried rustled as her hand closed over her pouch. She had no clue as to its content, the Wise Ones told her they had secured it with a weave and Rahien had spent enough time with them to know Aiel did not lie.
No doubt there would be a warning as to the Weave that had been placed on her to prevent any Healing, but Rahien could not fathom what reason it would contain for the Aes Sedai to accept her into the Tower. She was close enough for the sounds of the city to reach her ears now and when a farmer in a horse and cart emerged from the city gates and crossed the bridge, Rahien froze in the saddle. She pulled the scarf closer around her face, but the burly looking man passed without casting so much as a glance at her. Rahien felt her cheeks colour in shame as she urged the horse on. There were two sentries posted by the gate and Rahien felt her courage falter as the horse crossed the bridge that let across the river that surrounded the island of Tar Valon. If she made the horse go any slower, they would surely become suspicious, they were exchanging a few curious looks already as they noticed the strange mix of Aiel garb and the brightly coloured scarf.
Rahien took a deep breath and urged the faithful brown mare on, clenching her jaws together tightly as she did so. The Tar Valon guards had no need to stop and question everyone that came across the bridge, no one with evil intentions would be foolish enough to do it under the nose of the Aes Sedai, but for a moment Rahien was sure they were going to stop her. When they looked at her face though, it was obvious they thought better of it and Rahien felt then for the first time the impact of the shame and humiliation she would be facing. While she was among the Aiel, they had come to accept her for what she had become and to see the look of disgust and pity on the guards’ faces now made her want to weep. She nearly turned the horse around and made it go back, but she could barely muster the strength to stay on it as it was. Bones that had not yet fully mended screamed in agony and every muscle in her body sang in protest. Rahien had had a lot of time to think while she lay recovering in a tent and she had often wondered if this was the Creator’s way of punishing her for her vanity. If it was, then it was harsh lesson indeed. At that moment she would have given anything for ugliness, if it came with a whole and normal face and not one that made children cry and men turn from her in disgust. By the time she had cleared the few streets necessary to reach the Tower, tears she could no longer hold back were streaming down her face.
The White Tower itself stood tall and immense before her, looking cold and forbidding. It drove home everything the realisation of everything she had lost and how truly alone she was now. Rahien fell, more than she dismounted from the horse, while tears blurred her vision. She leaned against the horse’s flank, trying to catch her breath as she wiped at her cheeks in anger. No more tears now, I’ll show them yet that I am not as soft a Wetlander as they take me for. Her legs trembled with the effort of walking, but she forced herself to lead the horse to stables. A young lad came out to meet her and take the horse from her and after one look at her, his eyes darted left and right, in his effort to avoid looking at her face again. Rahien clenched her jaws and fumbled in her pouch for a few copper pieces. “Take good care of her please, she has served me well.” The lad quickly nodded and took the reigns from her hands, eager to be on his way. With the last of her belongings in a small bundle and the letter in her hand, Rahien turned and looked up at the imposing structure of the Tower, trying to muster the courage to approach the entrance.