Zaide stared at the ground as he walked out of his last class of the day. It was a good way to run into someone and earn a punishment, but right now that was the last thing he cared about. For the last few weeks, Zaide had been rather depressed. He was not entirely sure, but he thought the original cause was the raising of a fellow Soldier, his roommate in fact, the man had come to the Tower about the same time Zaide had, and he could not help think it was not fair. He was happy for Naridin, but Zaide had been here as long as anyone, why was it that he was still a soldier while people who had been here years less than he were raised? He sighed, this had never bothered him before, and he could not figure out why now was so different, but it was. He walked through the halls of the Tower wondering when he had lost his patience for raising. He had determined nearly ten years ago that he actually did want to become Asha'man one day, and since then he had not neglected his studies or training any more than most did. And yet, he was the one still stuck with no Sword Pin. Maybe they knew he was a Darkfriend, and were simply dragging him along, giving him hope, before they crushed him in one swift blow. That might have made sense, if Zaide had not known that Edeleas, the very Master of Soldiers, was the leader of the Shadow within the Tower. He glanced up just in time to avoid running into one of the Dedicated. Light, that would not have turned out well. Likely the man would have had him serving an unpleasant penance.

Of all the ways Zaide had changed since arriving in the Tower, one thing had stayed the same- he still loathed chores. That was another thing that made Dedicated so appealing, the only chores they had were to keep themselves and their rooms clean, and serve any punishments they earned. He stepped out of the Tower into the warm summer grounds, but hardly noticed the change. He had no intentions of staying in the grounds, his all black wardrobe made it very hot out here in the summer, and he prefered to be inside. He knew just where to go while he had some free time, a place where he could not get in trouble for loitering or wasting time. The library. He could study there, which was by no means frowned upon for soldiers, the high ceilings of the place provided for cooler air, and most importantly, it was one of Zaide's favorite places in the Towers. He had developed a love for reading since coming to the Tower, it was one of the few freedoms that soldiers were given. Learning fell into that new love as well, but Zaide did not enjoy classes, he would much rather learn something through a book than a puffed up Accepted or Dedicated teaching something they knew only the bare minimum about. Classes taught by Browns were even worse, they were so distant, and their zeal for their subjects led them to be more strict than Zaide thought necessary, and Zaide had never had a class with any other Aes Sedai. Asha'man were a little different, at least from a Dieb Cha- the only Asha'man with whom Zaide had had a class. They were knowledgeable about their subjects, but more attentive to students than Browns were. Unfortunately, they rarely taught that Zaide knew of, so books were his prefered form of learning. Books were written by people with knowledge of their subjects, as much as was available when it was written. And they were written to instruct, so they did not seem frustrated that their readers did not already know what they were reading. Yes, books were definately the way to go, Zaide decided.

He reached the library and stepped in through the Novice and Soldier door, the only one he had ever been allowed to use in his time here. He had not yet decided just what he wanted to read, but he did not doubt that he could find something, this library was too big not to, after all. He walked through the asiles, looking at each section, trying to decide where he wanted to stop. Finally, he arrived at an area filled with history before the time of the Dragon Reborn. Things from the Age of Legends were not kept here, he knew, those were far too old, few and valuable to be left out where anyone could touch them. A soldier would have to have very special permission to be allowed to see those. However, history from two, three and four hundred years ago was plenty for Zaide. There was an abundance, since there had been no Second Breaking, or truly major war before the Towers could collect most of what they had here. Of course, much had been lost over the years, that was to be expected, still, what they had could paint an accurate picture of how life was before the Dragon was Reborn. During a time when saidin was still tainted, and all male channelers were feared instead of revered, when they were gentled just because they could touch the Source. The thought made Zaide shiver slightly, to lose all ability to touch the One Power, the thought was maddening. Those men were destined for madness either way then, whether from the taint on saidin or from the lost ability to touch the Source.

That thought made Zaide decide what he wanted to read about today. The lives of men before the Dragon Reborn, he knew the basics about them, but he had never really learned much about them. None of his classes had more than really glossed over them, taught by Dedicated who did not want to think about it, or Accepted who were afraid of the topic. It had been two hundred years, why could some of them simply not accept that it was over, just teach it. Still, if Zaide had to pick he would much rather learn it this way, or perhaps from one of the Towers' oldest Asha'man or Aes Sedai, the ones who could best remember what it was like in the years closest to the cleansing. Zaide did not think any of the living Asha'man or Aes Sedai had been around before that, but he knew that there were some who had been born not long after. Maybe this would help him feel better about how long he had been a soldier. Thinking about it, he had not been a soldier for an incredibly long time, maybe a bit longer than average, but there were certainly men who had been soldiers longer. Maybe reading about how men before the Dragon Reborn would make him realize how fortunate he was to be born in this era, rather than the previous one. He scanned the shelves, running over interesting topics, but not things he wanted to read just now. They would wait until later, the Towers would certainly not let anything happen to their precious books. Finally, he found one specifically relating to the subject he was looking for. He pulled it out, and made his way to a nearby chair to settle in to read.

Shifting slightly, Yannira rubbed her back with her knuckles absentmindedly as she looked at the papers before her, lying on the rickety table in a small room she shared with another woman.
Adena was not there at the moment though, and Yannira had no clue why.

It did not help though ; shifting did not lessen the pain in the slightest bit ; worse, it seemed to inflame it even more, however much that had seemed impossible. The young girl shook her head as she winced softly, many beaded braids clicking together, not able to hide the sound of her sobs.

I thought I was free of that ! that i would never have to be put over someone’s knee and spanked again… She brought a hand up to her eyes, to wipe away the dampness from her red cheeks, still surprised not to find her veil in place, as she always was since she’d been dragged to this horrid place.. What right did she have ? this is my life, bloody buttered onions ! mine and that… that…. harlot can drink bloody mothers milk in a cup if she even thinks of keeping me here much longer !

But her thoughts did not hold all too much fire… that seemed to all be focused where the slipper of the Mistress of Novices had hit her as part of the punishment for trying to go back to her rightful home.
“And again I’m crying…. What kind of lady am I then?” She asked herself in the silence and stood up to look at her reflection in the tiny bubbled mirror. The image was not all too much different from when she’d stood in the office of the Mistress of novices and was forced to look at her own reflection after having gotten the first part of her punishment.
“This won’t do”

The words were whispered softly to herself and she felt ashamed for acting like a little girl. Determined she put her hands in the washwater and then started scrubbing her face while she tried to calm herself down a bit inside. Just be patient. she told herself once you get to know this place a bit more it will be a lot easier to walk away.

The thought calmed her down quite a bit and when she sat down at her papers again, her face looked almost normal again, and finally she actually could see again what she had been looking at. “And this can’t possibly belong to a lady either” she said, distaste strong in her voice.


The words on her paper were written in a very unsolid hand, and she was very sure that nearly nothing was written the way it should have been, but she could read it. She just was not very eager to show her notes from that first class to someone else.
“If I’m going to be here to get to know the place, I might as well try to learn something useful from it.”

And with that she got up, took her writing tools and headed for the library, or at least where she thought it was.

After a long walk she finally reached two big doors of which one was opened and showed the interior of a very large library.
Her eyes wide with amazement, Yannira walked in slowly, eyes bulging even more as she got to see the entire building from within. So many books….

“yes child?” Absorbed in her amazement, Yannira had not heard the brown sister glide forward and made a small jump before gaping at the sister and remembering to curtsey.

For a moment there was silence.

“Well? Why are you here?” the woman asked, her voice still calm and serene as all aes sedai seemed to be at all times, though it did sound a bit more chilly.
“Ehm… I came here to study a bit, Aes Sedai” she said, and for good measure she threw in another curtsey; she was not eager to land under the slipper of that… harlot… again.

The woman before her arced an eyebrow at her coolly, and Yannira seemed to freeze inside. Oh light, what have I done wrong now?
“Novices and soldiers are obliged to take their separate door, unless attending a Sister or Asha’man or on an errand for either.”
Yannira’s mouth fell open and she wanted to put in that she did not know, but the woman continued right over her. “You will do your studies and after that, before you go to bed mind, you will see Cayana Sedai for punishment.”

With another curtsey and “Yes Aes Sedai” Yannira closed her mouth and waited for the sisters dismissal, which only came after she was dumped a couple of heavy volumes in her hands with the order to replace them; in the section of channelers at the time of the dragon.

The slender woman gave her a few more instructions as to where to find that section and then Yannira found herself walking along endless shelves of books, cursing under her breath about yet another punishment, and this one for something utterly ridiculous.

After a while however she had reached a row of books which she assumed would be the one she was heading for, but as she turned a corner, she could not see a book lying on the floor, so she stepped on it, slid away and with a loud ‘thud’ her elbows hit the floor, the volumes in her hands following immediately after with some more noise.

The book was fascinating, Zaide was certainly glad that he had chosen this topic today, however accidental it had been. Before he had been reading long, he was completely engrossed in learning how these men had lived. The descriptions were chillingly detailed, and at one point Zaide flipped to the front of the book to see who it was by. The name was not one he recognized, but the author also claimed that he had been a male channeler before saidin was cleansed, turned Asha'man after the Dragon Reborn created them. So it was a firsthand account, at least on some parts, of course the gruesome deaths and worst symptoms Zaide assumed the man knew from watching others. Zaide was amazed, and at the same time incredibly thankful that he lived in this time. Even had he been able to stave off the madness long enough for saidin to be cleansed, he would still have had to watch other men he knew go mad. Zaide shook that thought off, there was no one here in the Tower he was that close to, but there was also no one he would wish this death upon. He flipped the book back to the page he had been on with a new outlook on what he was reading. Zaide had always known that this was real, and that it was no laughing matter, but this book served to put it in new perspective. Not that there was anything he could do about it now, it simply gave Zaide a new appreciation of the history that had been lectured at him by bored Accepted and Dedicated being forced to teach.

A few minutes later, there was a loud thud near where he was, followed by several more noises, as if someone droped whatever it was they were carrying. Zaide started at the noise, he had had no idea there was anyone else in this section of the library. He closed his book and set it on the chair he had been using before standing. Whoever had fallen probably did not really need any help, but a little assitance was always nice. As he made his way to where the sound had come from, Zaide realized yet another major change that the Towers had caused. Ten years ago, Zaide did not think he would have gotten up at all, although he admitted he might have stood to see who had fallen, he certainly would not have offered help. He turned a corner and found a blonde woman in a white dress, Taraboner by the beaded braids her hair was in. She looked anything but happy, but that was understandable. He could not see what had made her fall, but he assumed the many books lying on the ground around her were what had made the extra noise. He extended a hand to her to help her up and spoke. "A few too many books this time?" he asked with a small smile. He doubted that the girl was here on her own choice, few people came through the library with that many books without being ordered by one of the many people that ranked above the two of them. Zaide had never seen this woman before, but what did that mean really? He knew most of the soldiers' names, he thought, but he did not really see much of the novices. Despite the fact that they ate, trained, learned and lived so close to each other, the Towers expected contact between them to be minimal. This woman may have been in the Towers longer than Zaide had, and he would never know.

((OOC: Sorry it's short, I didn't know whether Yannira would let Zaide help her, there'll be more next time, I promise))

Yannira met the ground in a violent kiss and anger flared up inside of her along with shame and fear. Fear for having damaged the books and having an Aes Sedai find out about it. Or plainly having an Aes Sedai walk in on her. I’m sure that falling on my lightblasted face would earn me a punishment as well she thought bitterly.

The thought had not yet managed to leave her mind as she suddenly heard the soft scraping of a chair over the wooden floor, followed by footsteps coming closer. Moments later she was staring at black boots sticking out from under a black uniform. oh blood and bloody ashes! she thought violently as she realized she had probably disturbed an asha’man.

"A few too many books this time?" the man asked her with a young voice, before reaching out his hand to help her. hmm he sounds quite young… maybe…
She looked up and saw a smiling face set in half-long brown hair, above a black collar which surprisingly held no pins at all. a soldier.
The sight made her smile in relief as she grabbed his hand and then gave him a grateful little smile in return.

She got up on her knees and as usual put her balance a bit backwards in order to be able to stand up in one fluent motion, but as she sat back on her heels, pain flared up as vividly as ever in her tender bottom and with eyes bulging she flinched and put herself more upright to lessen the pain.

Oh nice… what happened to acting like a lady? she asked herself sarcastically and then forced herself to stand up with as much poise and grace as she could master with her painful behind. She could not however refrain her cheeks from turner a shade more red from embarrassment.


When she finally stood and had straightened her dress a bit she looked at the soldier and bend her head a bit as thanks. “Thank you” she said, a touch too soft and shy for her own liking. “Books are supposed to be on the shelf, not on the bloody floor to trip over” she said as a matter of explanation but she clapped her teeth shut as she realized that she had not managed to keep her tone under control. ”A real lady does not use the language of the cityfolk. She does not swear, curse or otherwise shows any but carefully chosen emotions. It shames her.” she could hear the old man Marrolk saying after she had burst out one day over spilling grease on a new silk dress.

To hide further embarrassment she squatted down, careful of her behind this time, next to one of the books to pick it up.

The novice took his hand, and he pulled her up until she was standing on her knees. She stood up, but carefully Zaide noticed. and her cheeks turned slightly red. Punishments. Zaide had experienced too many, and seen too many others in the same position not to recognize what was wrong. She thanked him, then explained angrily that she had tripped over a book that was lying on the floor. Who had been irresponsible enough to leave a book on the floor? And how had they gotten out of the library without a severe punishment from the librarian on duty? The girl snapped her mouth shut, as if she had said something terribly wrong, and bent down to pick up a book. Zaide wondered what was wrong with her, true had he been Asha'man her angry tone may have been the cause of a reprimand, but he was a soldier, with no authority over anyone. He bent down to help the woman pick up her books, not currently having the hindrance of a sore backside, he thought he should help her out a bit. Once all the books were picked up, Zaide looked them over, he assumed she was either supposed to be putting them away or getting them for someone, surely no novice had enough time to this many books out of the library at one time. Zaide had never managed more than one, and even that one had taken forever to read. "Do you need any help?" he asked, though he could not say why. Why volunteer for more chores when he had a perfectly fine book waiting for him only a few feet away?

Zaide was too helpful for his own good, he decided. In the future he would have to change that, he would only get himself into too much by volunteering to help, it was not like he enjoyed working. Light, he loathed chores as much now as he did when he first arrived. Well, he had asked now, there was no point in taking it back, he would just have to not make that mistake anymore. Maybe the woman would say no, and he would get out of having to do whatever it was she had been assigned. "New to the Towers?" he asked, glancing at her hair. It was still in the braids, this was the first time Zaide could remember seeing a novice or Accepted with Taraboner braids, although certainly there were other Taraboners here. The others all wore their hair back in white ribbons. Some of the rules for novices made Zaide glad that he was male, then again, some of the rules for soldiers were harsher than novice rules as well. There was no way to win, he decided, either way you would get worse rules and punishments for certain things. There was no way to change things anyway, Zaide would just have to live with his soldier life until they finally called him to be raised, or kicked him out of the Towers. Years ago, nothing would have made him happier than to be kicked out, but now that he really did want to become Asha'man, he thought he would do almost anything to stay here. Not that there was much danger of being kicked out really, he knew that the Shadow wanted him to join the ranks of Asha'man, and since Edeleas was one of them, surely he would convince the Asha'man to let him stay after almost any offense. Not that Zaide wanted to break any major rules though, it was just nice to have a feeling of security in his place here.

The soldier bowed down besides her, far more fluent then she would have managed with her sore behind, however much she tried, and started picking up some books with her, not making any remarks about her foul tongue.

"Do you need any help? " he asked instead, and Yannira could have smiled if she had not been trying to hard to keep her face from twisting from pain. And to think that after this she would be required to go and visit that awful woman yet again… for… another punishment.
No she would not smile, in fact she felt sick.
When she did not reply immediately, the young man asked her whether she was new to the towers instead, and a quick glance upwards, to his face, told her he was looking at her hair. hmmm another one… so it would indeed be best if I took them out as fast as possible as Adena said. But then again. With that… harlot telling me they had to be out by morning, I don’t particularly have a choice now do I?

The thought was a very sour one but still she tried to make her face smooth and grateful. Well at least as smooth and grateful as her slippered behind allowed her.
"I am in fact new here… just arrived today” and already will go to bed with two punishments “and well, these have to be out in the morning” as she swung her head gently to let the beads in her hair click softly, she sighed a bit. It would be very strange to walk around with just ribbons.

“So I really thank you for your offer of help. Because I could use it most definitely.” She then continued “These books are about Channelers in the time of the Dragon… and I think they should be around here somewhere. But I’m not entirely sure.”

For a moment she hesitated as she straightened and avoided his eyes briefly. I will need to find out more about this place, or I will have three visits to that bloody woman before the night she shuddered at the thought and steeled herself a bit; she had never liked asking things. “and I would absolutely be grateful if you could tell me a thing or two about this place so I can evade… mishaps” she finished after a while

Zaide helped the woman pick up the rest of the books, and she answered that she was new here, with a shake of her head. She had, in fact, just arrived that day. Impressive, day one and she had already been punished. Zaide may have hated it here, but he knew better than to get punished on the first day. She said her braids would have to be out by the next day, but of course she would want to keep her last connection to home as long as she could. She also said that she would appreciate the help, and said that these books needed to go back in the very section Zaide had just come from. "Perfect, I was just reading over there actually. This way," he said with a nod in that direction. He stood and made is way around the shelves to the right section. "Right here." He started putting the books he held back on the shelf, hoping at the same time that this was not part of a punishment. It was one thing to help someone with a chore- although not usually a good thing -but to help someone with a punishment would not have a happy ending for Zaide. Too late now though, so he finished with the books he had and waited for the woman to get hers on the shelf too. She had also mentioned wanting to know some of the basics about the Towers, so that she could avoid mishaps, as she called them. Zaide had never really helped a novice out with that sort of thing, but how different could it be from soldiers? Then again, he had not really done much with new soldiers either, but he could not very well tell the woman no, could he?

"Well," he began, "I don't really know too much about the White Tower, but there are bound to be a lot of similarities. First, it's not usually a good idea for novices to be seen with men- or soldiers with women - flirting and the like are forbidden by the Towers for us. Unless we're told to work or take class together it can be risky. Don't be late to anything or you'll be punished, almost without exception. Accepted, Dedicated, Younglings, Asha'man, Aes Sedai and Gaidin all rank above us- only recruits, soldiers, and other novices don't. Basically, do whatever anyone ranking above you says, anything else will result in punishment. Disrespect isn't tolerated, don't talk unless someone addresses you directly. Some Dedicated and Accepted have been known to be bigheaded when they're first raised, so you should do your best not even to look suspicious. Basically, follow your schedule, and do what you're told and nothing else for a while, and you should be alright. Before long you'll learn what rules they let slide a bit and what they're real sticklers for, but don't ever get too comfortable, because there are plenty of ancient Aes Sedai and Asha'man who won't let you get away with anything." As Zaide finished, he realized just how awful that sounded. He had long been accustomed to the strict rules of the Towers, but to new initiates it was probably very daunting. That little speech had basically just stolen all this woman's freedom right from under her feet, there had probably been a better way of going about it, but Zaide did not know what that would be.

He took a breath, "It's no fun, that's for sure. You'll get used to it though." It sounded quite inadequate after all the "advice" he had listed, it was true, it did get easier, but Zaide could never say it had ever gotten easy for him. If this woman had already earned a punishment, on her first day, Zaide doubted it would ever be easy for her either. "My name's Zaide, by the way," he said as he realized he had never introduced himself. He wondered what had brought this woman here, whether she had come by choice, that was. Most people were brought by Aes Sedai, very few people that he knew of chose to come here on their own. Some people were excited to be here, but if she had already been punished Zaide doubted she was one of those. More likely she was one more like Zaide had been, she did not like it here, and did not want to be here. Maybe she had already realized she could not get away and was already resigning to life here, but maybe she was one of those who held the hope that they could get out of here soon. Many people came here thinking that training to become Asha'man- or in her case, Aes Sedai -took only a few weeks or months. Very little of the world knew anything about what went on within the Tower walls, even those who had lived in Tar Valon all their lives. Did this woman know yet that she had just started a part of her life that may well last twenty years?