Farina had all the reasons to be happy. She was dutifully studying at the White Tower, people seemed to have, if not forgotten, at least decided not to remark on Farina's two-year absence and the resulting punishment, she was learning a lot of new things and had finally had a chance to enjoy the privileges of being an Accepted, including the opportunity to channel without supervision. She was gradually putting the unfortunate... incident with the Master of Soldiers and following events behind her. No, that wasn't true. She was trying to put the unfortunate incident behind her.

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't forget her children. She had loved Frenna more than anything... but that was once upon a time. Farina had to admit that thinking about her daughter didn't hurt they way it used to hurt. She didn't even wish to see her again anymore. Frenna would be a grown woman by now, maybe married, maybe she had children of her own. Farina could be a grandmother without knowing about it. She would be a very young grandmother, but a grandmother nonetheless. Of course Farina still missed her, but what would Frenna possibly want from her? Farina had abandoned her. That was a fact, and that was how Frenna would see it, regardless of Farina's reasons for doing so. Farina had abandoned Frenna over and over again... No, there was nothing Farina could give to Frenna. Her daughter was better off never knowing her mother.

And her son... Farina had not loved him the way she had once loved Frenna, because she knew that she would have to give him up. But she could not stop herself from loving him in a way. He was her son after all. He would no longer be the infant Farina would always know him as; he would be young boy now. Maybe Asha'man Edeleas had visited him; Farina doubted that, but his relatives were taking care of him after all. At least Farina knew that he was in good hands. As for Frenna... She had no idea who had raised them and how. But Farina had to admit that whoever they were, they were better parents than Farina could ever have been.

Not long ago those kinds of thoughts would have brought Farina to tears, but not anymore. Farina had long ago understood that she wanted to become Aes Sedai more than she wanted a family. Leaving her children had been her own decision, and she knew that she had made the right one. She wanted to become Aes Sedai, and she had proven to herself that she was willing to do anything for it. But still...

Farina shook her head sadly, and her hair danced in the wind. She had decided to take a break from her studies, but the weather was not ideal for an enjoyable outing. Nevertheless, the gardens were quiet, and Farina just wanted a moment for herself. So she sat on the cold stone bench, trying to ignore the cold wind, and thought of her children.

Cayana let the book drop on the table and stretched her neck, rubbing it gently with her fingers. Taking over as the Captain General wasn't an easy job, someone had to do it, and it was time for changes, but sometimes she just wanted to get out. There were so much politics involved in this, even though she wasn't in the Hall she still had twice as much to do politicly then she had as the Mistress of Novices. Seriously being the Mistress of Novices sometimes felt like a walk in the park next to this. The only thing that wasn't was the tests, the last resort punishments and the expulsions. She missed all those novices who had been lost in the arches. All those that had declined going through three times and all those who had failed to complete the arches or the test for the Shawl. For some reason she had a tendency to miss them more then childhood friends or others from much longer ago. It did have to do with the fact that Cayanas home was the Towers. She belonged here.

Cayana tried to shove thoughts away to get back to work but realized it was to hard at the moment. She needed a break. Getting up she got her knitted blue shawl and draped it over her shoulders as she headed for the door. Walking down the corridors she let herself slip back into thoughts.

In the past month Cayana had been on three trips to the blight and on two drills with her Ajah sisters. She had started to form battle groups among them, people who worked well together being drilled in fighting as well. Mostly the Gaidins were left behind as it was battle weaves being practiced, but on occasion the Gaidins were brought with to train the Aes Sedai in other parts of combat. No matter how good you were at battle weaves, no matter how strong, some things were necessary for battle. Those things the Gaidin could teach, once they realized that their Aes Sedai weren't asking for lessons in weapon handling. Green Gaidins had a tendency to be very old fashioned about weapons for some reason. They accepted Gaidars, but when it came to Aes Sedai, well most non-channelers preferred Aes Sedai without weapons.

The wind tugged at her hair as Cayana exited the building. Spring had come to Tar Valon now so the days shifted between icy cold and summery warm. This day was somewhere in between. Which made Cayana happy she had brought the shawl. It was one thing to ignore the cold, but to not feel it was something completely else. The sun was shining nicely however and Cayana let herself enjoy the sights of the Gardens.

It would soon be time to reach out a hand to the Asha'man, but Cayana had yet to figure out if she should handle it herself or let someone else do it. She had a lot of contacts there, and pretty good relations. But handling something like that as the Green Head? It might prove dangerous. The former head had died because her position had been compromised. The Green Ajah might have more capable women in their ranks, but they did not need carelessness to cause more confusion.

The gravel crunched under Cayanas feet as she walked and the occasionally she could hear a bird or two. As she rounded a corner she spotted Farina sitting on a stone bench. The Accepted had been back for a while now. Most no longer remarked on her absence or even thought about it (when not discussing the girls readiness to be raised). Cayana however thought about it every once and a while. Farina was a special girl. As a novice she had been pretty much one of the group but as she was raised Farina had done something Cayana wouldn't forget. Farina had smiled at her in a way Cayana just hadn't been able to shake. After that Cayana had kept an eye on the girl more, but to her disappointment she had left, run away. For 2 years there had been no word until she had been brought back from Andor. How could she not have been discovered sooner in such a well travelled country? Cayana guessed Farina had been smart enough to cover her tracks when needed, but still.
Taking a deep breath Cayana walked up to the bench and sat down without a word. She wasn't watching Farina, she just looked out over the garden letting the girl alone for the moment.

A particularly icy wind tugged at them, going straight through the fabrics of Cayanas skirts making her feel quite cold, but she didn't shiver. Winters were colder in Saldaea then here and after her transition she had been in the borderlands quite often, even in deep winter. Still most Saldaeans knew better then to dress in silk when it was cold out. "The winter still seems to keep it's grip, though it might be slipping." Cayana commented after the wind had passed. "But even an icy wind might break the dullness of everyday life in the Towers." She now turned her eyes to Farina for a moment before letting them slide out over the garden again. She wanted to talk to Farina for a while. Since Farinas return Cayana hadn't had the chance for anything not punishment related.

Farina was lost in her own thoughts, but she wasn’t a Brown, so she did notice Cayana Sedai approaching. Part of her mind panicked and considered leaving quickly, but her more sensible part won. Of course she couldn’t just jump up and run away, especially when Cayana Sedai clearly noticed her. She berated herself for thinking of doing such a thing, but she couldn’t help it. If there was one woman in the White Tower who would never forget that Farina ran away, it would be Cayana Sedai. When she had left, the person she had disappointed most was Cayana Sedai. Cayana Sedai had greeted her first when entering the Tower, Cayana Sedai had guided and punished her as a novice and had seen her through her raising. Farina would always feel ashamed around Cayana Sedai. After all, she hadn’t only run away, she had also lied to her. She had disappointed her.

Of course, Cayana Sedai wasn’t the Mistress of Novices anymore, but however much time Farina spent with Kathera Sedai, she would always think of Cayana Sedai as her Mistress of Novices. And Farina wanted to make Cayana Sedai proud of her one day, when she would finally be raised to Aes Sedai. She had been given another chance, and she was not going to fail. She would be Aes Sedai.

Of course, Farina had no idea what Cayana Sedai thought about her. Farina knew she had been a disappointment, but there was no way of telling how disappointed she actually was. After all, Farina had never been the most dutiful novice, and had spent time alone with Cayana Sedai primarily in her study, receiving a punishment. Maybe Cayana Sedai thought Farina was… just an annoyance, some girl who had run away. Farina hoped she meant something more to her Mistress of Novices, but who knew?

Farina tried to avoid the Aes Sedai’s eyes when she approached. She tensed as Cayana Sedai sat next to her, but relaxed gradually when she remained silent. Farina had no idea what to do. Should she say something? Cayana Sedai didn’t exactly seem to be ignoring Farina, but she wasn’t paying much attention to her either. Maybe she just wanted to sit and relax for a while, just like Farina. But would it be rude if she didn’t say anything? No, she realised, it wouldn’t. After all, she was an Accepted and Cayana Alhi was an Aes Sedai, so saying something could actually be considered rude. So Farina remained silent as well, leaving the initiative for Cayana Sedai to use if she wished.

Another cold gush of wind made Farina shiver and tug her white cloak tighter. "The winter still seems to keep it's grip, though it might be slipping." Farina bit her lip slightly, knowing that she could not avoid a conversation now. But… why couldn’t it be a pleasant talk? Cayana Sedai hadn’t brought up Farina’s escapade or punishment, so maybe she had a less intimidating topic of conversation in mind. "But even an icy wind might break the dullness of everyday life in the Towers."

“I know that’s true, Cayana Sedai,” Farina said just a bit sourly before she could stop herself. “I’m not complaining though,” she added quickly, “but… long days of studying and training can be tiresome sometimes.” Especially when she had no time to do anything she actually enjoyed. And she would not risk getting more punishments if she could help it, so no more flirting. She wasn’t sure if Accepted were allowed to train with weapons, but Farina wasn’t going to risk that either. She would try to be the model Accepted. Try. “This cold weather isn’t much better, though, but it will do.”

“I know that’s true, Cayana Sedai,” Farina said in a slightly sour tone. Quickly, in a different tone she added. “I’m not complaining though, but… long days of studying and training can be tiresome sometimes.” Cayana nodded at that, inwardly smiling as she remembered her own time as Accepted. She wondered if Farina knew any of it? It wouldn't surprise her either way. The old rumors had died away after Cayana had made her place as Aes Sedai clear among her own. Even her kidnapping wasn't gossiped much about. Cayana was glad about that, especially the latter. All things considered it wouldn't be only her in trouble if they found out about Radgar. Radgar had been punished anyway for running away to find her. Even though she had been angry with him for that she couldn't help but to be happy he had found her. Sure she could have survived the caves, but Cayana didn't know the weave for balefire. Had she tried to escape then the darkhounds would have gotten her. However awful that weave was and it was to know Radgar knew it, she owed him her life. Something she had given him. “This cold weather isn’t much better, though, but it will do.” The girl didn't seem to happy with everything. Sure she was probably happy to not have been thrown out of the Towers or just kept under surveillance until they could determine that what ever had caused her to run away wasn't a threat to others. But she still could understand how Accepted life could be boring at times. Did the girl have many friends?

"It will get better. The winter will loose it's grip and spring will come. The flowers will bloom eventually." She looked over at Farina for a moment. Wondering slightly if the girl understood what her words meant more then literary. Then her sight caught a bird in flight and followed it to a near by tree. "How is your training coming along? The hundred weaves?" Cayana spoke casually. It was a normal topic with Accepted, one Cayana would prefer to not discuss, but she didn't think this was the right place for any unconventional discussions. Cayana was unconventional enough. Being accused of having favorites would only make things worse. "Do you have any friends to train with?" The key to the practice really was friends, or 'friends'. People who tested you to the extreme. Without it the test surely would be failed. She hoped Farina had someone or a few people she trained with... If not, perhaps Cayana could find someone... She pushed the thought away. She couldn't pick favorites, no matter how much Cayana wished she could help the girl. Farina was an amazing young woman, she would make a good Aes Sedai, but sometimes Cayana wished she had known the real reasons Farina had run away. As with Radgar Cayana did find cause relevant when it came to breaking of rules.

"It will get better. The winter will loose it's grip and spring will come. The flowers will bloom eventually." Farina looked at Cayana Sedai, slightly surprised. She wasn’t completely sure if Cayana Sedai had meant what Farina thought she had meant, but it was unlikely that she had only commented on the weather. Of course, it could all be in Farina’s head, but the thought warmed her nevertheless. Cayana Sedai believes I will succeed. Farina knew she would, she had to after everything she had gone through and everything she had done. But it was nice to know that Cayana Sedai didn’t hate her. Cayana Sedai still believed in her. Farina hoped that she hadn’t misunderstood her entirely, because it meant so much to her.

Cayana Sedai didn’t elaborate, but changed the topic. "How is your training coming along? The hundred weaves?" Farina bit her lip again. She had spent her first Accepted years away from the Tower, and after that her punishment had taken pretty much all her time, and now she was so busy catching up with everything that she had little time to practice the hundred weaves. Still, she understood the importance of those insane weaves and practiced whenever she could. Even so, she wasn’t very good at them. She was hardly even average in the One Power, and she was only any good at Spirit, so the hundred weaves were quite… testing. She had troubles trying to weave them all in the same go, rarely succeeding without tiring herself completely. Farina knew that she would get better, that she would become stronger in the One Power, but at the moment it seemed pretty helpless. "Do you have any friends to train with?" Farina wasn’t in any state to start practicing with friends. She had tried a few times, but she hardly got to the tenth weave before losing her concentration. She would first have to learn the hundred weaves perfectly before she could really start testing herself with friends. She wasn’t sure how she could bring that up with Cayana Sedai. She had been a disappointment already, she didn’t want to be an even bigger one.

“I do have friends to train with,” she said, and that at least was true. Well, almost. “Or not exactly friends, but… well, all of us Accepted are in the same position, so you only have to knock on a few doors to find Accepted who are willing to train with you. It’s actually better to train with someone who doesn’t know you and isn’t afraid of hurting you a bit. In any case… I’m not quite there yet,” she said with a small voice. “I still have troubles weaving them all without any kinds of distractions. I’m not strong enough. Yet,” she said determinedly. She would train and one day she would pass the test. She was sure of that. Just… not quite yet.

“I do have friends to train with, or not exactly friends, but…” Cayana had done the same as Accepted. She had had friends, but friends tended to go easy on you. “well, all of us Accepted are in the same position, so you only have to knock on a few doors to find Accepted who are willing to train with you. It’s actually better to train with someone who doesn’t know you and isn’t afraid of hurting you a bit.” The girl was quite wise there. Perhaps she didn't really need Cayanas help. Farina really was a remarkable woman. “In any case… I’m not quite there yet,” Farina said with a small voice. Cayana nodded slightly. It was only to be expected. “I still have troubles weaving them all without any kinds of distractions. I’m not strong enough. Yet,” The determined tone made Cayana smile openly as she looked at Farina. "I'm glad." She said simply. "It's good to know you haven't given up." Giving up happened. Cayana knew several girls that had left when she was Accepted and it was sad. Seeing them leave had spurred Cayana to succeed herself, but still. Most Accepted stayed that way much longer then Cayana had. But Cayana had always been strong so no one had taken any notice of that.

After stroking a stray strand of hair away from her face Cayana added. "Is there much left of your punishment?" It was a simple inquiry. Cayana just simply wanted to know. If the girl still had limitations as Accepted her life would be more dull then usual. Livening that up a little might be a good thing. Cayana thought to herself. Really most of the Accepted could use a pick me up every once and a while. In the back of her mind a plan was forming.

Farina was yet again surprised when Cayana Sedai smiled at her. She hadn't expected that. Farina was slightly disappointed at herself for learning the weaves so slowly, but Cayana Sedai thought otherwise, it seemed. "I'm glad." Farina would have smiled if she hadn't been so surprised. Glad? Maybe Farina wasn't as slow as she thought. "It's good to know you haven't given up." Now Farina did smile. She would never ever give up. Cayana Sedai might not know that, because she didn't know the whole truth. After all, Farina had lied that she had left the Tower because it had all been too much for her to handle, but Farina was far stronger than that. If only Cayana Sedai knew... After Mirazhe, Cayana Sedai deserved to know. But she couldn't tell. Not yet, maybe not ever. In any case, she would not give up. She would become Aes Sedai.

"Is there much left of your punishment?" That sounded very strange, because Farina was used to Cayana Sedai knowing all of her punishments. It did feel strange to think that she was not the Mistress of Novices. Farina didn't know why she had given up the positions, but she was not stupid enough to ask. It was none of her business, and she would be very very rude to ask such a personal question. Cayana Sedai would tell her if she wanted her to know. Which was very unlikely.

Farina pushed those thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on her question. "The official punishment is already over, so in theory I should be training and studying like any Accepted. But in reality, most Aes Sedai seem to be waiting for any excuse to give me a new punishment." Farina had always been quite frank, and she felt like she could be honest with Cayana Sedai, Aes Sedai or not. "I try to be dutiful and obey the rules, but I get punished for flirting if my eyes happen to fall on a member of the opposite sex for two seconds." She tried not to sound bitter, but it felt so unfair. "No one says a thing, but I know no one has forgiven what I did. I deserve every punishment they give me, I know that, but... I just hope that some day I'll be treated like any other Accepted." Now she tried not to sound whiny.

It was nice to see Farina smile. Even nicer that it was a return smile. The girl had gone through a lot, and she probably had still much more to come in her life. Still it was nice to have a conversation with her for once. One that did not involve Cayana punishing her. "The official punishment is already over, so in theory I should be training and studying like any Accepted. But in reality, most Aes Sedai seem to be waiting for any excuse to give me a new punishment." Cayana nodded. That was normal. Those who had opposed Cayanas decision still waited for any excuse to override it. "I try to be dutiful and obey the rules, but I get punished for flirting if my eyes happen to fall on a member of the opposite sex for two seconds." That must be hard... Cayana thought to herself, knowing fully well not even reds kept from flirting. "No one says a thing, but I know no one has forgiven what I did. I deserve every punishment they give me, I know that, but... I just hope that some day I'll be treated like any other Accepted." Cayana nodded slowly, but added. "As long as you are Accepted they will probably keep it up. Not everyone agrees it was the right thing to keep you in the Towers. But if you manage to get yourself raised you will be able to change it as much as it can be. Only by proving yourself can you change things." Farina had been frank with her and Cayana realized she had just done the same. It wasn't overly good that she had been that open in phrasing, but it was a bit late to change it. She would have to be careful though.

"Do you miss it?" Cayana added. Realizing it might be confusing with the turn of the conversation she also added. "Flirting." It had been such a part of Cayanas own time as Accepted that she had no idea how it would be to be completely unable to do so. Light, she had been punished numerous times for flirting, and even for boys fighting to impress her. She was revoked her privileges of entering the city for two months for being the 'cause' of two recruits getting into a fight in a pub. Sure she had been slightly tipsy and had been flirting with them, but they both had known fully well she was like that any day. It hadn't felt fair. Cayana knew why she had been punished though and today she didn't care. Today she could flirt if she wanted, though with Radgar she rarely did want to. He was quite enough when ever she got her urges. Though she did wish he would get raised soon. It was annoying not getting to take him along when ever she went traveling.

"As long as you are Accepted they will probably keep it up." Oh... Farina had unconsciously waited for some comforting words, a promise that everything will be alright, but... It was better to know the truth. Farina was not a naive novice, she could handle it. It wasn't a very pleasant thing to hear, but at least Farina knew what was coming. She couldn't afford illusions anymore. "Not everyone agrees it was the right thing to keep you in the Towers." Farina blushed slightly at that, hoping that Cayana Sedai didn't notice. Did she get in trouble because of me? That was the last thing Farina had intended. "But if you manage to get yourself raised you will be able to change it as much as it can be. Only by proving yourself can you change things."

Farina nodded slowly. Cayana Sedai was right, of course. Once she was Aes Sedai, no one could question Cayana Sedai's decision to let her stay. Farina didn't expect them to welcome her to sisterhood with open arms, but they would not be able to treat her as a child anymore. Or so she hoped.

"Do you miss it?" Farina looked at Cayana Sedai, a bit confused. "Flirting." Another thing Farina had not expected to hear. But once she convinced herself that she had heard correctly, she smiled. "Sometimes. But I got used to not flirting as a novice." She blushed again, because Cayana Sedai if anyone knew that it was a very false statement. After all, Farina was not a stranger to punishments for flirting. "I mean, trying not to flirt. And I'm not going to take any risks now, so I really don't flirt anymore. Consciously, at least," she added just a touch bitterly again. "I do miss flirting, but I know that once I'm Aes Sedai, no one can say a word no matter how much I flirt. Isn't that right?" she added questioningly. Maybe there were limitation for Aes Sedai too when it came to flirting. Light knew how Farina hoped not. Farina might not be flirting at the moment, but the desire to flirt hadn't gone anywhere. She was determined to pick up flirting as soon as possible.

The first time Farina blushed Cayana didn't notice. She wasn't paying attention that much. There was no need. This was a friendly conversation. As Cayana asked about missing flirting however Farinas own response made the girl blush. "Sometimes. But I got used to not flirting as a novice." Cayana knew very well that wasn't quite true. "I mean, trying not to flirt. And I'm not going to take any risks now, so I really don't flirt anymore. Consciously, at least," Farina admitted. "I do miss flirting, but I know that once I'm Aes Sedai, no one can say a word no matter how much I flirt. Isn't that right?" Cayana smiled. "As long as it doesn't interfere with politics or the bondmate of an other Aes Sedai. No. What ever you do is for your reasons. Only sitters, heads and the Amyrlin Seat can restrain you from things like that." She looked at Farina. "And as long as you don't get pregnant. Most Aes Sedai frown upon that. Marriage is still a sensitive question, though it is more common then many would like." Rialt for example had been married. She herself was the result of Rialt and her mother getting pregnant. Cayana was still glad no one knew about Rialt being her father. It did reflect badly when you were involved in politics the way they both were now.

Something that Cayana had wondered about this girl was where she would one day end up. What Ajah would she choose? It was never something anyone else decided, though it was rather sensitive on occation. (Cayana herself had ticked off several Yellows for choosing the Green.) Still to Cayana it mattered little what Ajah an other Aes Sedai was in. It was what they did as Aes Sedai that was the most important. "Have you discovered any talents yet?" Cayana asked Farina. Talents told a lot, though never the whole story. Something that was in a way funny was how both Cayana and Rialt were strong and had a talent for healing. It was almost like the talents travelled the bloodlines as much as channeling did. Cayana didn't really believe that though. She thought talents had a tendency to be more about understanding, just as some people were able to read faster then others and others had a natural agility or strength. Still it was somewhat funny.

"As long as it doesn't interfere with politics or the bondmate of an other Aes Sedai. No. What ever you do is for your reasons. Only sitters, heads and the Amyrlin Seat can restrain you from things like that." Farina nearly let out a sigh of relief. She was wise enough to know when not to flirt. She wouldn't even dream of flirting with a Warder unless she knew for sure that he was available and his bondmate wouldn't mind. She didn't know much about politics, but she was sure that she would learn enough as an Aes Sedai to avoid complications. Well, sleeping with the Master of Soldiers could be considered interfering with politics in some way... No! No. I'm not going to think about him. In any case, she was sure that she wouldn't get into trouble, even if she kept on flirting as an Aes Sedai.

"And as long as you don't get pregnant." Farina used every bit of her willpower to keep her face straight. "Most Aes Sedai frown upon that. Marriage is still a sensitive question, though it is more common then many would like." Now that was something Farina didn't know. She didn't know any Aes Sedai who was married, but judging by Cayana Sedai's phrasing, there were many. Farina couldn't imagine an Aes Sedai with a husband and a few kids. Of course, it was normal if a woman, or man, for that matter, wanted a family, but Aes Sedai? Farina wasn't even an Aes Sedai yet, but just getting there had made her give up two children. She couldn't imagine being an Aes Sedai and having a baby to look after.

"Have you discovered any talents yet?" Now that was a lot safer territory. Farina welcomed the change of topic because she was sure she would somehow reveal herself if they kept on talking about marriage or children. "A Yellow tested my ability in Healing, and that turned out to be one of my Talents. If the Yellows didn't disapprove of me, they would be all over me. I can just see the expectations from their face, even if they try to hide it. But I'm not going to be a Yellow, and I would have told them, but I'm afraid all Yellows will shun me totally if I do something like that," she added with a smile. "I don't know my other Talents yet, but they have probably got something to do with Spirit." She made a mental note to try and figure them out.

It wasn't long since Cayana had decided to pursue her gift and befriended more yellows. But Yellows had always been a bit annoyed at people not seeing their view when you had a talent. Then again, most Aes Sedai were that way, no matter what Ajah. "A Yellow tested my ability in Healing, and that turned out to be one of my Talents." Cayana lifted her eyebrows slightly. "If the Yellows didn't disapprove of me, they would be all over me. I can just see the expectations from their face, even if they try to hide it." Cayana couldn't help but to smile. "But I'm not going to be a Yellow, and I would have told them, but I'm afraid all Yellows will shun me totally if I do something like that," Farina smiled and Cayana nodded. Interesting. She would talk to some of her friends and make sure they didn't object to teach Farina, no matter of her future Ajah choice. No matter where she ended up, Cayana did not wish Farina to do the same mistakes she had. "I don't know my other Talents yet, but they have probably got something to do with Spirit." Cayana nodded. Your strongest flows usually had a link with your talents, but not always. "I guess spirit is your strongest element. Don't limit yourself to it in your search. Even if you are strong in spirit, the link isn't always obvious." Cayana hadn't searched for more talents. Her priorities lied else where. If she were to find any she would, but not because she was searching for them. "For example. The healing introduced by Nynaeve Al'Mera required all flows. I can't say what her strongest elements was but had it been fire then restricting herself in looking for fire areas of weaves wouldn't naturally have lead to healing. As far as I know Nynaeve Al'Mera had problems with the normal weave the same way any wilder does since the new weave never works the way the old one does." She looked at Farina. "Searching spirit weaves is wise, but don't limit yourself. The other flows are important too."

Thinking to herself Cayana remembered something a green had done with her when she was Accepted. The woman had done it with many Accepted and when ever she was still in the Towers she still did. At the moment though, the woman wasn't in the Towers. "Which weaves is it you are having the most problem with of the hundred? Are the more battle oriented one's part of them? Or the warding weaves?" Having a session with Farina might just be something fun to do in between all the Ajah stuff.

"I guess spirit is your strongest element. Don't limit yourself to it in your search. Even if you are strong in spirit, the link isn't always obvious." Farina listened intently. There weren't many Aes Sedai who were willing to give Farina advice at the moment. They didn't object to teaching Farina, but they seemed to do what needed to be done with her and nothing more. And Cayana Sedai if anyone knew how to guide novices and Accepted, so Farina was glad for the chance to get real advice. Light knew she needed it. "For example. The healing introduced by Nynaeve Al'Mera required all flows. I can't say what her strongest elements was but had it been fire then restricting herself in looking for fire areas of weaves wouldn't naturally have lead to healing. As far as I know Nynaeve Al'Mera had problems with the normal weave the same way any wilder does since the new weave never works the way the old one does." Farina nodded. It made sense. "Searching spirit weaves is wise, but don't limit yourself. The other flows are important too." Farina nodded again. Nevertheless, she was sure that she had at least one Talent to do with Spirit, because she wasn't very good at the other elements. But she saw Cayana Sedai's point. She should search for other alternatives.

She had been tested for some other Talents, but her attempts at the weaves had been fruitless. She wasn't nearly strong enough to create a Gateway, so Traveling was out of the question. She knew how to Shield, but not well enough for it to be called a Talent. Warding wasn't her strongest point either. Still, there were plenty of Talents she didn't even know yet. She would have to start looking into it more carefully.

"Which weaves is it you are having the most problem with of the hundred? Are the more battle oriented one's part of them? Or the warding weaves?" Farina tried to remember her failed attempts, and was a little sad to notice that she hadn't mastered any of the weaves totally. She had failed in all of them at least once. But there were some that she had failed a lot more than just once. "Just generally those weaves that take more than two or three elements to work." Those weaves that required all the Five Powers were desperately hard for Farina. She was already weak at Earth and Fire, if she had to weave them along with other elements, it was hell. "I'm not very good at Wards, but I'm not particularly bad at them either. I don't think that I've had troubles with battle oriented weaves." She wondered briefly why Cayana Sedai had asked such a question, but she didn't ask. She was sure that the Aes Sedai had her reasons, and hopefully she would be able to help Farina.

"Just generally those weaves that take more than two or three elements to work." Cayana nodded. That was common among all channelers. It took significant strength to use more then one element, and a lot of discipline. It would naturally come in time especially if the girl worked hard. "I'm not very good at Wards, but I'm not particularly bad at them either. I don't think that I've had troubles with battle oriented weaves." That was interesting. Sure most of the battle weaves taught to novices and Accepted were single element oriented, but it was still interesting to hear. Did the girl tend to make sure she was good at them? It didn't matter much to the conversation, but still it was interesting to know. "Your strength will grow in time. It will be easier to make the flows, but the guidance of them is up to you and what you learn. Would you like to practice the multiple flow weaves in particular? Not for the sake of your strength or ability to complete the 100, but for the guidance of the flows?" She looked at Farina. Lessons were usually oriented differently. Such classes were more common among the novices, as their goal was to handle their channeling without harming themselves or others. But Cayana thought it might be useful for Farina, there were a couple of other girls she had had such lessons with, even as Accepteds.

Letting the girl answer the question without pressure Cayana thought once more about the whole breaking the dullness of studies part. Not all Accepteds liked the idea, but well, she would see. Her thoughts oriented itself more to the people to involve then the Accepteds feelings about the matter. She had a few ideas, but she would need more help. And then it was the slight convincing of the new Mistress of Novices. Kathera had been a good student and was a good Mistress of Novices, but Cayana didn't know her beyond those experiences. She would have to deal with that first to make sure it actually could happen. No use going through all the work without permission ever being given.

"Your strength will grow in time." Farina knew as much herself, but she was a bit afraid that she would never get strong enough. It would take years and years before she could take the test for the shawl, but what if she practiced and practiced and never make it? Farina quickly dismissed the thought. The Aes Sedai would have told her from the start if she was too weak to ever make it to Aes Sedai. Farina could wait, years, decades, if needed, but she would make it. She would! "It will be easier to make the flows, but the guidance of them is up to you and what you learn." Farina nodded. At least there was something she could do besides wait. "Would you like to practice the multiple flow weaves in particular? Not for the sake of your strength or ability to complete the 100, but for the guidance of the flows?"

Guidance of the flows? That sounded like the lessons she had taken in the very beginning as a novice. But Farina did not let that fool her. Cayana Sedai had taught novices and Accepted as the Mistress of Novices for years, she if anyone knew what kind of help Farina could do with. To tell the truth, Farina was sure that she needed every bit of help she could get if she ever wanted to succeed. And she wanted. "Yes, I would like that," she said eagerly. She wasn't sure what Cayana Sedai had in mind exactly, but she was willing to give anything a try if it improved her chances of succeeding in the final test. "What do you want me to do?" she asked, looking keen.

(OOC: Sorry it's a bit short.)

"Yes, I would like that," the Accepted said eagerly. "What do you want me to do?" Cayana smiled at her. "I'm afraid now is not the time. But I will speak with the Mistress of Novices to arrange a time." Standing up Cayana looked at Farina one more time. "And even if I'm not the Mistress of Novices anymore. If you do need someone to talk too, feel free to come to me." She didn't wish to undermine Kathera in the least, but even Cayana knew that sometimes the Mistress of Novices was the last person one would tell certain things. The Amyrlin Seat would sometimes be a better choice, if only for the repercussions being differently. "Walk in the light, Farina."

And with those last words Cayana departed for the White Tower and her study once more. She had still masses of stuff to do and she needed to prepare for the next drill as well. The drills were so far secret, and as far as Cayana was concerned they should partially stay secret just as the special Green weaves that new Aes Sedai were taught just after being raised. But at the same time, she needed to involve others.

Cayanas thoughts spun on and on on the subject of drills and Accepted until she reached her quarters. Stepping inside Cayana knew what laid a head of her and she got to work. This was no time for the Captain General to be lazy.

"I'm afraid now is not the time. But I will speak with the Mistress of Novices to arrange a time." Farina was slightly disappointed, but only before she realized that she would soon be late for a private lesson with an Aes Sedai. If she was late, the Aes Sedai would not hesitate to punish her, and she would probably refuse to teach her again. Farina had been ready to start whatever training Cayana Sedai had in mind right away, and she probably would have missed the other lesson on purpose, but it really was better this way. Farina just hoped that the time Cayana Sedai arranged with Kathera Sedai wouldn't be too far in the future.

Cayana Sedai stood up, but before she left she said, "And even if I'm not the Mistress of Novices anymore. If you do need someone to talk too, feel free to come to me." Farina just smiled and nodded. Cayana Sedai definitely didn't hate her, so Farina was more than happy. I will make her proud of me. Still, Farina would not be able to speak with Cayana Sedai about the things that troubled her most, and her mistakes were something she had to bear alone. But if something else came up... she would go to Cayana Sedai. The Light knew that Farina was more comfortable with her than with Kathera Sedai.

"Walk in the light, Farina." Farina kept on smiling as Cayana Sedai walked away. For a moment she just sat on the bench, a small smile lingering on her lips. Finally she shook herself mentally and hurried to see Ramana Sedai.