Three paces Kaelyn frowned looking down at the stone bench before shaking her head and continuing her furious pace. Three paces…it is exactly three Thrusting trembling hands into her sleeves, she rubbed her arms briskly as her palms met gooseflesh. The day was warm, enough to cause a sweat if engaged in physical activity, but for all she cared the world could have been in upheaval. At least then there would have reason for feeling the unnatural chill. Three paces. Light Evei how are we to do this? Two novices who can’t touch a trickle of the power, and yet we set out to accomplish something that the Aes Sedai could not even do! Angrily throwing off her futile efforts at warming her body Kaelyn removed her hands, grimacing at the tinge of red in her skin, and allowing them to fall and swing freely at her side as her head bowed down in concentration.

What can we do that we have not already tried? Kaelyn looked up though the woman she was waiting for was not in sight. She knew Evei wouldn’t be just yet, and she felt foolish for confirming what was already known. Instead her gaze fell upon a woman who bore a shawl of rich greens that reflected the healthy glow of life around her. Kaelyn bit her lip in thought as her eyes passed the symbol of position and the woman that bore it. What have they not done? Her eyes scoured the shawl hungrily and her stomach knotted in pain before her eyes traveled to the whites she was wearing. White, how long had she worn the white dress of a novice? Her eyes stung with unshed tears, before she tore her mind away from her position back to the woman before her. She was gone. Kaelyn met only the green leaves of brushes and leaves gently swaying to the wind. Gone just like her dreams if she did not break the block…and then she knew she was being selfish, Evei was in the same situation as she was.

Blinking Kaelyn brought her mind back to the present, realizing she had slowed her pacing to a stop. Flushing slightly at her distraction, she released the pressure she held in biting her lip feeling a prick of pain before a warmth seeped into her mouth. Sighing outwardly she offered a quick nod to a few familiar faces before returning her attention back to her pacing, and surrendering to the thoughts that grappled for her. Evei, I can’t let her down. If not for me I have to do something for her, but what? What do I know of her, what do I know of her block other than playing music! Angrily Kaelyn stopped and turned kicking the bench as she reached the end of its length. Letting out a string of curses, she sucked in air puffing out her cheeks as she attempted to ride out the pain. Blood and ashes! [i] A few tears leaked from her eyes and slowly dragged their bodies down her cheek, leaving glistening trails that tightened her skin as they evaporated into the air. [i] Why must I always be so rash? Why the hell do I care so much? She turned to kick the bench again, but stopped just short of making contact before allowing her foot to fall back to the ground.

Anger. Kaelyn stopped, and gasped as memories retreated from the tangled thoughts of her mind. A manuscript lay before her, with worlds of knowledge and answers, but to none of her own questions. No longer though, and she shuddered as if hearing the parchment rip into two parts. That had been the last piece of hope she had clung onto before it too had failed, and at last she submitted to the frustration and anger that was waiting behind the dam. And then Evei came! Her eyes widened, as she recalled the woman approaching her, a woman who was uncomfortable with her image, a woman who slouched as if to hide from the world. Kaelyn wouldn’t have been surprised if this woman had been taken advantage of if the opportunity was presented to another. In a way the woman had reminded her of a child, not helpless but vulnerable. Three paces. Kaelyn smiled folding her arms across her breast and took another pace, breaking away from the length of the bench. Looking into the open sky she closed her eyes taking a deep breath, before opening back to the world as the soft pat-pat of foot steps approached her from behind. So be it. Her smile grew wider, though it was for no other.

(OOC: Sorry this took so long!)

Evei hurtled from the library, almost knocking a petite Accepted down in the process. With a quick curtsey and a murmured apology, Evei was out the door and on her way to the mess hall. Walking quickly, Evei barreled down the hall, her thoughts filled with the idea of her block being gone, and it being her own accomplishment as well. It was a pretty dream, and Evei let herself be lost in it for a moment. Success was something hard won in her life, and even the mere wisp of a vision of such an accomplishment made her happy. Still, Evei forced herself to push it out of her head. What good would it do to count her eggs before they hatched? With a small sigh, Evei pushed her way through the crowd lining the corridor. She couldn’t help but emit a little squeak of surprise when she bounced against a person’s chest. “My apologizes.” She forced out, even as she backed away and looked up into the person’s face.

It was her face. At least it seemed so, at first glance. That’s my nose. Evei thought, almost dizzy. My eyes. The man, a Dedicated, didn’t seem to notice their similarities. He smiled, his teeth a brilliant flash of light. “It’s no problem, Miss..?” Evei almost didn’t want to answer. You’re my father, Ji’in. You should know who I am. She wanted to scream at him, to pound her fists against his ribcage. You’re my father, and you can’t even see the resemblance between us. Her father. The father that had never known of her existence, the man who had assumed that her mother knew what she was doing, and the man she knew to have too many illegitimate children to count. Evei wanted to ask him how many lives he had ruined. She wanted to tell him what he had done to Celosia, how her mother had suffered and how she had suffered in return. Evei wanted to tell him that everything that was wrong in her life was his fault. She wanted to spit in his face, for abandoning her and her mother, for causing her to be born. For causing her to torment Celosia with the fact that she lived. For not being there when she had needed someone like a father the most. Evei wanted to tell him that it was his need for pleasure that had caused everything wrong in her world, even though it was what had caused her very existence. The fact that without him she would have no life Evei easily disregarded.

It took an effort for her to step back and look at his face again. Her face. Their shared features made her want to shudder. Somehow, the fact that Ji’in’s smile had not wavered made her nauseous. “Miss Rethani.” Evei told him. The lie came easily to her tongue. It was Fyfe’s last name, the name of the woman who had raised her. In some ways, Evei was Fyfe Rethani’s daughter and not Celosia Atrium’s. If Evei had the Aes Sedai oaths, the lie would have passed. Ji’in smiled easily.

“I’m Ji’in.” The word, uttered with a flirtatious smile, made Evei feel like she was going to retch. He doesn’t know who I am, doesn’t have an idea that I’m his daughter. The thought repeated in her mind, even as she resisted the urge to glare up into his face. It was harder to resist the impulse to tell him that he was scum. Scum for giving her a chance to live and torment her mother, scum for placing his desire above anyone else’s life. I’m no different. The thought came unbidden into her mind, strange and alien to her thoughts. I’m no different. Evei’s anger ebbed slowly. It was true. She had decided to join the Red Shen and hunt out a partner for her own good. It’s true that it’s a good cause, but I only want to kill darkfriends. I don’t care about any other aspects of it. I only want to kill them. Light, I’m a hypocrite.

I’m no better than him. The thought made Evei lower her head in shame. It was true. There was too much truth in the statement for Evei to deny it. “A pleasure to meet you.” She murmured, her desire to scream gone, replaced with a craving to go hide and nurse her wounds. Evei pushed past her father, and hurtled down the hall. The words ‘I’m no better than him’ circled in her mind, a mantra that wouldn’t disappear. Evei turned away from the kitchens, her appetite gone and her feet dragging. How could she face Kaelyn? She was no better than a man with too many illegitimate children to count on two hands. Who was she to try and help a young woman such as Kaelyn? Kaelyn had the world at her feet, and Evei was dried up with hardly a desire to go on anymore.

Evei walked slowly into the sun, her eyes searching for Kaelyn on the paths. What should I do? I don’t think I can help her fix something like a block. I can’t even fix myself. She thought. Still, Evei forced herself to keep moving further into the gardens, and let her eyes search for the figure of the other woman. “Kaelyn?” She called softly, advancing on the white back of a novice. It was the only such woman in sight, and Evei found it all too easy to trust to luck.

(OOC: My writing seems a bit...'choppy' lol I guess is the only word I have to come up with. I hope you can excuse the lack of structure in my writing, I really need to get back in the hang of this! Can't wait to see how you respond! I know this is going to be good!)



One… The soft pat-pat of footsteps grew louder, acting in their own accord like a gong, giving away the one who was slowly approaching her. Two…three Kaelyn breathed between her thoughts, it had to be right, everything that lay silently in her mind had to be delivered in the order she had prepared them, no flaws, no… four…five

“Kaelyn?”

Hesitation. Kaelyn closed her eyes shutting out the tiny voice that threw off her count. That one little voice, though it felt like a dagger slowly easing its pointed tip through her flesh. She’s in pain. She nearly betrayed her act of ignorance of the others presence by shaking her head to settle back to her relaxed rhythm. I have to ignore it. Just forget pretend it was nothing She had too, or everything that was about to happen would be ruined, and they would both be back with blank faces as winged ideas refused to inspire them. It was for the best, though it was hard to ignore the soft vulnerability of that whispered tongue. Its just a weakness. She nearly blinked, astounded that her thoughts hard formed such words, but it was true. Her heart could not ignore the pain of another, she could not after what she had been through. She did not want others to go through the same thing. six Kaelyn focused on the number till its last syllable left a hiss with her spoken thoughts. Stillness, silence, patience, it all had to be perfect. Yet what could be troubling her, she has only been gone for at most ten minutes . She frowned at the intruding thought, digging her nails into her skin as returning to her concentration was proving harder than possible. All because of that tiny pained filled voice. Seven! Her spoken thoughts came out as a shrill, but they were enough to reach out with their hands to bring back her attention to the plan rehearsed in her head.

“Kaelyn?”

Hesitation.

The footsteps stopped, the uncertain voice lived in the air for a moment before silence set in. Though her back was turned Kaelyn could feel the proximity of the other, eyes on her back, and an air of uncertainty. Eight . It was time. Biting her lip and releasing pent up anger she turned around to face the woman in white. To face Evei who stood vulnerable and unknowing. Please let this work!

“And what in the sweet darkness took you so long woman! Did you expect me to wait here all day, waiting till you thought it was an opportune moment to come and grace me with your presence?” Kaelyn spat venom as her eyes narrowed and danced with flames. “Did you think I had nothing better to do than wait around for you, when I have my own troubles to worry about? To help entertain you with ideas to break that block of yours when all I want to do is think about my own? You are a fool to hope that we can even break through this when the Aes Sedai themselves can’t break us free. You and I are failures. Nothing more, but a failure and a sore sight to those who can freely open themselves to the source!

All of it was a lie, Kaelyn almost wanted to laugh at her own act, yet knew better than to betray what she was presenting. Evei was a shy woman, almost giving a presence of insecurity. With such an attribute that this was the first idea that had come to mind. Something had happened to Evei in the past, something terrible. She wanted to provoke the true Evei she thought lived within the body before her, the woman she could see sparkling behind those quiet eyes. To provoke anger, for her to step out and unleash her own power, her own mind rather than be overridden by another. Please let this work.

“You are wasting my time. Perhaps you will quicken your pace next time you ask me to wait. But this is only a fools hope. Why should I bother worrying about you too?”