Tel'aran'rhiod is in that way different from the normal world. Channeling is an other thing that is different in Tel'aran'rhiod, as mentioned in Naria Sedais book The mysteries of the dream world on page 240. That was the fifth reference in just this chapter, for some reason this book felt only like a summary of that or perhaps two different books, but she hadn't read Narias book so she had no idea. Sighing Cayana let the book fall into her lap and she stared in to the fire. She had asked in the library for that book this morning, but the brown she asked hadn't heard about it and the sister she asked thought Asha'man Valarian or perhaps Lyla Sedai might have it in one of their private collections as they were dreamwalkers. So Cayana had left empty handed. She didn't know Lyla well but she didn't strike Cayana as the type to read a lot. The woman was blue after all not brown.

"Perhaps I should just go ask, this book isn't leading anywhere..." Cayana said to herself. No one could hear her of course as she was sitting in her private quarters but it still felt good to just ask herself that question out loud. Sometimes it helped with making decisions. Cayana didn't much like asking favors. If she asked for one then the other person would want one back, and you never knew what that might be. Cayana didn't know Valarian at all, just that he was of the al'aman Val, the Dragon Guards. Muttering to herself she got up, put the book away on the small table next to the chair and went over to the mirror hanging over the drawer to the left of the fireplace. She wasn't fully dressed, she had really meant to turn in for the night, it was early evening, but she just had felt so worn out for the last couple of weeks. Eying herself in that mirror she just decided to braid her hair in one long braid and then went to get dressed.

A little while later she was dressed in one of her newest dresses, it was made in two different shades of green and with yellow embroidery following the seams on the bodice. It was really more a practical dress rather then anything, but it was good enough. A slit down the skirt and it would have been fit for riding, but this was no riding dress. She just left her rooms and started the long walk to the black tower, hopefully he hadn't turned in yet, it would feel odd to come to his private quarters and ask for a silly book.

It took a good 45 minuets to walk, but eventually she stood outside the door of the office belonging to Valarian. She took a deep breath and knocked and then stood waiting for an answer. In her mind her thoughts worked to find a way to ask him for it without sounding to needy, she just hoped he wasn't the to forward type. If Rialt had owned it, and he hadn't been her father, she would never had been able to ask for the book without letting slide that she felt a need for it. She didn't have to read it, but it did bug her to not know what was in that book that the book she was reading was leaving out all the time. The book she was reading treated the reader as a child, not allowing her to know more then what was 'appropriate'. I am sick of being treated like that and I will never stop being treated like that unless I make it clear I won't be.

The bathouse was nearly empty, and Valarian stepped in the hot bath after washing. He leaned back and tried to relax a little. His eyes were half lit while he was lying in the bathtub. He thought about what happened that day. After returning from supper he had felt a little worried. While he had been eating he had pretended not to notice the heads that turned his way, he had calmy eaten his food, as usual by himself without talking. When he stood up to leave the mess hall he had not payed special attention to the small group of grinning soldiers. They were relaxing while eating supper, nothing wrong about that. Still he felt powerless when he stepped outside. He had recognised the young man that had seen him yesterday when he returned from the Library. He had heared his name being whispered when the group of soldiers had tried to look at him without drawing his attention. He heard their voices "Naah...." "You're making that up." He knew what they had been talking about and it bothered him. Not enough to really be agitated but he just disaproved their behavior and wondered what could be done about it. After he had arrived in his office he had dismissed the matter and returned to his work. There had been a few reports lying on his desk that he had not read. He had picked one up and started working. But after a while the thought about the grinning soldiers had bothered him again. It had all been caused by the girl in the library. The novice that had reminded him of... Sadness drowned his thoughts. He slowly exhaled and watched the wrinkles he formed in the water. Soon his breathing slowed and he drifted closer and closer to sleep.

A noise woke him up. He quickly sat up and heared the water around him. He had fallen asleep. His hands felt wrinkly, which told him he had been wasting his time in the bath for at least an hour. He stood up, dried himself with a towell and quickly got dressed. He must have been very tired to fall asleep while bathing. But that was no excuse. He hurried back to his office, he still had work to do.

He frowned when he saw an Aes Sedai walk through the halls of the Black Tower and halted by his office. When he approached her he noticed she was the Mistress of Novices. He wondered what brought her to his study. He greeted her with respect. "Good evening Cayana Sedai. Is there anything I can help you with?" before she could reply he opened the door to his office. He let her in and gestured toward a seat by his desk.

Instead of the door opening Valarian stepped up beside her said "Good evening Cayana Sedai. Is there anything I can help you with?" and opened the door for her. She felt startled but didn't let it show. It was enough that he probably had heard that deep breath a few seconds ago. How could I not have noticed? Letting the thought slide she smiled, walked into the office and stood next to the seat without actually sitting down. At this moment she just couldn't think of a good way to put it so she just said it. "I was told you have a private collection on books about Tel'aran'rhiod and dreamwalking?" It was half a question, if she had been pointed in the wrong direction he could just say so.

While waiting for a response she first eyed him. He was ruggedly handsome in her eyes, he seemed to just have gotten from the bath since his short brown hair was wet, it would soon dry though. His eyes were that wonderful Hazel color but his entire expression told about hardness and coldness, as if he had lost a bondmate and never managed to let go. Cayana didn't know id Valarian had ever been bonded, she was to young to know much about the older Aes Sedai and Asha'mans pasts other then what was written in her books, and they didn't cover Asha'man one bit. If he had been bonded it would have been before she had arrived at the tower. It didn't matter though it wouldn't be something she would ask about openly, it was his private life and she had no right to butt in on that.

As he walked into the room she managed to get a glimpse of it without looking around openly. The only word she would be able to describe it as fast would be symmetric. Really everything seemed symmetric. The bookcases to the left when you walk into the door weren't even messy, just really symmetric. Light, this man really must like organizing. Even the painting on the right wall picturing a sunset got a symmetric feeling in this room. The few things laying about were some papers laying symmetrically on his desk and a hooded lantern giving light to the desk. The window were draped in a deep dark red-purple color. At least there are colors... Cayana felt like she stuck out in this room, she didn't feel the least symmetrical.

"I was told you have a private collection on books about Tel'aran'rhiod and dreamwalking?" She said when she stood inside his room. He noticed she did not plan on sitting down, and he didn't bother to insist. She propably didn't plan on staying very long, but that was fine, he still had a lot of work to do. He lit the room and then he walked to the bookcases against the wall, where his books about Tel'aran'rhiod stood. "You were informed correctly, Cayana Sedai", he answered. There was no reason to beat around the bush, and he assumed the Mistress of Novices had come here to borrow one of his books. He knew there were a few books in his personal collection that weren't available in the library, especially books about dreamwalking, since Valarian had been collecting those for over a hundred years now, and preserved them with care. He probably owned every book ever published on the subject, while in the library some of the books got lost. Valarian could not understand that book in a library could get lost, especially here. But it had happened. That's why he allways aquired the books he thought were useful to have around.

He looked at his collection of books that were neatly organised. He never catalogued them because he didn't find it necessary. He knew the place of every book on every shelf, and had read all of them entirely. Only the highest shelf in the corner by the window were Punar's books. Most of them he hadn't touched for many years, exept to clean them. He looked at Cayana. "Were you looking for a specific title?"

Light, how am I going to do this... Cayana heard herself think realizing she shouldn't have cut to the chase like that. Well what was done was done and she had no choice now but to keep going. "Were you looking for a specific title?" He had asked and she nodded. She wouldn't be able to dance around with words doing that, but she did anyway. "Yes, The mysteries of the dream world by Naria Sedai. A lot of books refer to it, but the Tower library doesn't have it." Odd really, books written by Aes Sedai usually ended up there. Perhaps he had copied it and then the original got lost in some browns personal collection.

Cayana really had no idea how she came off asking for the book just like that. The book was an introduction to Tel'aran'rhiod, a book for teaching new dreamwalkers. It was nothing that an experienced dreamwalker would read, unless to do as the author of the book Cayana had been reading, to do a reference instead of explaining it on his or her own. But then again Cayana was no dreamwalker, only interested in the subject and she really didn't know anything about the book, or the Aes Sedai that had written it.

"I was wondering if you perhaps had it, and if I could perhaps borrow it." Cayana wasn't ordering or anything the like, as many would think Aes Sedai did. She was asking politely and with respect, but hoping she wouldn't come of as that she needed the book. She disliked owing people favors. He seemed to have assumed she would ask though as he had walked over to the bookcases before she had asked. She looked at him with an expression of wondering and respect, waiting for his answer. She was a little annoyed that she couldn't read his feelings, but she didn't let it show. She just wish she knew surprises could get awkward at the least.

"Yes, The mysteries of the dream world by Naria Sedai. A lot of books refer to it, but the Tower library doesn't have it." Valarian was relieved she immediately cut to the chase instead of trying to chitchat. Usually he really was as emotionless as his stare but right now his insides felt uncomfortable. His skin felt a little moist and his head seemed to be heavier than usual. As if a fog hung in his brain and he couldn't think clearly. It bothered him because he still had a lot of work to do.

"I was wondering if you perhaps had it, and if I could perhaps borrow it." He nodded at Cayana Sedai's question. "The original from the library has indeed been lost for several years now." he replied dryly. "But it's in my collection." He turned and looked at his bookcases. As if animated by an outside force his hand trailed down and from one of the lower shelves he picked up a book, allmost without looking at it. The book had a darkblue cover and was nicely preserved for its age. Valarian had kept the pages free from becoming sour and turning yellow, like some of the books in the library had after years of preservation.

"The mysteries of the dream world." He read the title on the cover that was painted on it in silver. He looked at the mistress of novices again. "I will off course expext it back in the same state." He said while peering into her eyes. He trusted she wouldn't lose or damage it. Then he reached out the book.

Valarian had seemed cold from the start but as soon as she asked to borrow the book his tone seemed even more dry. As he was about to hand her the book he said. "I will off course expext it back in the same state." She felt a small surge inside her. It was like being talked down to, sure he didn't know her and he wouldn't know if she was sloppy, but remind the Mistress of Novices to not be sloppy. Get a grip, Cayana thought to herself, He's not attacking me. There is no reason to let my temper get the best of me.

Her reaction took a few seconds as if she hadn't believed that he would really lend her the book, as she reached out for it she smiled at him. "Of course, thank you." Then the words ran dry in her head. She looked at him for a few moments. "I guess I should be going." She added then, "Peace favor you..." she said as good bye, nodded and turned to leave. Why did it all of a sudden feel as though she had made a fool of herself? He's kind to me and here I go let my temper get worked up over nothing. She thought to herself as she grabbed a hold of the doorknob.

((OOC I'm sorry that I didn't give you much to go with there. And I hope it's allright I used your NPC....))

When Cayana Sedai took the book and thanked him he nodded, rather than saying 'you're welcome'. Letting go of the book a sudden sense of sadness came over him. He had known the Aes Sedai who had written 'Mysteries of the dreamword', and like most dreamwalkers she had died in Tel'aran'rhiod. It had been a while since he had studied her notes and the few things she wrote so he didn't mind lending it to Cayana, but thinking about it his interst in her work seemed to have awakened the bad feeling he had today again. He looked at the Mistress of Novices without showing a sign of his inner moodswitch, and noticed she seemed a little irritated. "I guess I should be going." She said "Peace favor you..." She nodded and turned to walk out. He wondered if something had upset her. His mind was still on Neria Sedai, who had tought him well about the dreamworld once, and had found sweet death many years ago. He had recieved some of her personal notes after she had died and had tried to continue the things she had been researching, but now many of the ones he taught a very long time ago, had now exeeded him by far in their skills and understanding the dreamworld.

He did not have a reason to keep Cayana sedai in his office any longer, but he suddenly wondered why she was interested in the dreamworld. He knew it was not one of her natural abilities, as he was sure he knew every dreamwalker in the Towers, but she probably was interested for a reason. "Should you wish to read more of Neria sedai's work feel free to ask. 'Mysteries of the dreamword' sadly enough is not the only book by her hand that is not available in the library." He said it flatly but he actually meant to be friendly.

"Should you wish to read more of Neria sedai's work feel free to ask. 'Mysteries of the dreamword' sadly enough is not the only book by her hand that is not available in the library." The flat words reached her just before she opened the door and so she turned her head and addressed him. "Thank you, Rei Valarian. I'll make sure to remember." She said with a small smile. Then she opened the door and walked out, closing it behind her before she started to walk back to her rooms.

As soon as she came back to her rooms after the fairly long walk between the towers Cayana started reading the introduction. The walked had calmed her down and the cold outside as well. It was evening already and she couldn't stay up long, but she figured she'd read the introduction before going to sleep anyway.

"Introduction - The dreamworld a an other time and place...."

Two hours later Cayana jerked out of the book. Neria had a way with words that made you caught up and read till your eyes bled obviously. Light, I have to sleep, she thought and got up with a groan. As she stood she realized her leg had fallen asleep and she hadn't even noticed. "Now that's just splendid..." She muttered as she limped off to bed, trying not to fall.

----------------

The days went by and Cayana soon finished the book. It was really interesting and Cayana couldn't help but to wonder what the other books she had written where about. She even felt like borrowing one of the dream ter'angreal the tower had and go to tel'aran'rhiod to see what it really was like, try some of the things the book had explained and such. Right now Cayana was on her way to Valarians office. It was just after midday so she hoped he would be back by now. There weren't very many dreamwalkers around, Valarian was one of the few, and so Cayana wouldn't really be able to follow the warning the first chapter had offered. If you are new to tel'aran'rhiod, be sure to have a guide with you as it is dangerous and can kill you. Then a bunch of examples about what could happen. It wasn't silly, but she couldn't just get scared away from it all because it was dangerous?

Turning an other corner she came into the corridors of the al'Aman Val. At a natural pace she walked up to Valarians door and knocked the same way as last time. In her hand she held the book and for the day she was dressed as would be typical of a Saldaean, high necked and long sleeved. It was a one colored dress without really much details to it. Her hair was tighed back but a hair ribbon and left flowing along her back. She hadn't had the time the last few days to put her hair up more properly in the mornings. She was one of the few that actually did put her hair up all the time, most let it flow free, as customary of Aes Sedai. Cayana only got her hair in the way when she let it loose and that wasn't all to practical, she didn't want to cut it either which only left this one choice.

Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two ;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.

Valarian didn't know why he had done it. After he had finished his paperwork and had eaten his dinner, he had returned to his office and chosen an old book from a shelf. It had been years since he had picked up a book from that part of this collection, but somehow he had expected to find the answer for his late mental instability in his past. Poetry used to soothe him, and this poem had allways been one of his personal favorites. He held the book in his hand as if it were his most precious possession. He read the lines he still knew by heart, even though it had been over 70 years since he had thought about them.

O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,
And cloister'd in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self-murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.

The beauty of words had allway fascinated him when he was young. The times when he tried to win Punar's heart by reading poems to her. Emotion was something that had felt strange to him for a long time, but now it seemed natural, to be moved by the verses of the poet. Valarian looked up from the book, his eyes closed, and spoke the last verse outloud.

"Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee."

He hadn't finished the last verse for a mere second when he heared a knock on his door. He closed the book and put it aside on his desk before he spoke, "Enter".


(OOC: Poem by John Donne))

As soon as Cayana heard the response "Enter" from inside, she opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind her to keep the conversation private. Well there she walked across the room over to his desk and gave him the book. "Good day, Rei Valarian, I came to return your book." She addressed him with a friendly smile on her face. Her skirts settled nicely around her, smoothly and only with a light swishing sound as she stepped or stopped.

As Valarian took took the book she noticed an other book he had to have been reading as she knocked on the door, but she didn't say anything for starters about it, instead she continued on something he had mentioned as she left last time. "You said you might have some more books of her that aren't in the library, I was wondering if you might allow me to borrow an other one." Valarian had said she could feel free to ask for more books by her, it didn't mean he would lend them to her, but he wouldn't be offended at least.

As he rose he started to tell her which books he did have and she responded with a title that sounded prommising. Little did she know it wasn't quite the easy reading the last one had been, nor did she expect it to be so advanced. Instead she just watched him rise to put the book back in the bookcase and to get the book she had asked for. While he did she glanced over the book on the desk again. She recognized it, it had been one of her mothers favorite books and she had had to recite that so many times while out riding with her mother and sister.

"Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be...."

She didn't even notice she was speaking until she lifted her eyes to look at Valarian. Her words had been very soft as if speaking to herself, but as the office was very quiet it he had unmistakably heard her. His silence as he watched her was clear. She looked a little embraced she excused herself "Sorry, old habits are hard to break." and smiled a nervous smile at him. She wondered if he would say something to her mind drifting off like that, if he would she would certainly have something to say back. Though he would most likely be aware of what ever she would say, as surely as she was of what ever he would say as a comment to her letting her tongue free.

The Mistress of Novices entered hid office. "Good day, Rei Valarian, I came to return your book." she said with a smile. "Yes. Good day to you as well." he said, without changing his expression.

"You said you might have some more books of her that aren't in the library, I was wondering if you might allow me to borrow another one." He rose from his desk to accept the book she handed him. A quick glance of the cover verified it was the 'Misteries of the dreamworld' by Neria Sedai. "Yes." he then said while looking at his bookcases. Out of the others he had in his private collection he mentioned the titles of the books he had, and which ones would be available in the library and which wouldn't. When she asked him about 'Logic in the other world.' he took the book from the shelf. It was another unicum by his knowledge, though it was possible other dreamwalkers had a copy of it. It was pretty advanced reading for someone who wasn't familiar with Tel'Aran'Rhiod but it wasn't that much more difficult than 'Misteries of the dreamworld. Just a little more.... abstract. He was recollecting memories of Neria Sedai when he suddenly heared the Mistress of Novices softly quote the book on his desk. Very surprised he turned around, wondering if she had heared him speak to himself before she had knocked on the door.

They just looked into eachother's eyes, his surprise only betrayed by his silence. He blinked. Her expression showed a little embarassement as she excused herself. "Sorry, old habits are hard to break." she said with a nervous smile. He nodded in understanding. Actually he felt just as embarassed for being caught on reading poetry, which could probably be seen as a little out of character for him. He looked at the book on his desk and then back to her. He dismissed his thoughts and handed her the book he had taken for her. He blinked again and said. "It may be a little more advanced than the other book by Neria Sedai, but personally I think it is one of her most interesting books on the subject. It really brings you into the mind of a dreamwalker..." His eyes seemed to focus on something in a distance he alone could see, but quickly focused on Cayana Sedai again.

((OOC: I sent Shaya to be punished by Valarian since she had requested punishment for what she did in the gardens, she's gonna refer to it now. Don't worry about giving me a quick answer if you think he can't answer that without having played it first.))

"... It really brings you into the mind of a dreamwalker..." What ever that meant Cayana knew she'd find out once she read the book. "thank you," she said but this wasn't what was on her mind at the moment. His silence was. As he had looked at her he had said nothing. As she had explained all he had done was nod. Where he embarrassed himself? No why would he be, appreciating poetry wasn't anything odd. Nobles around the world where taught poetry, to read it, write it and recite it.

Letting the silent moment last a little she looked down to check that it was indeed the book she had asked for. 'Logic in the other world' by Neria Sedai. Now that title wasn't quite obvious that it was about the dreamworld at all. Her studies extended to other realities besides the dreamworld and so her thoughts the first time she had read the title had been that Neria Sedai might have done more then just things about Tel'aran'rhiod too. But as she had read some of the references it was clear that she had not. It didn't matter though, learning about the differences between the worlds was what her studies where all about and therefor she wanted to read this book. "Thank you." She said as soon as she had read the title. "I appreciate it." She smiled a little. "Oh and by the way, I hope Shaya hasn't given you too much trouble. She insisted on being punished and besides sending her to you I couldn't really think of anything suitable... I'm sorry if it was inconvenient." She added the last as grasped from the air. It actually was, she had just come to think about it. Some how she hoped that he would tell a bit about it, but she knew he might very well not.