By the time she had reached the exit of the Mess Hall Soraya was running. She couldn't do it. How could she sit and eat together with people who were used to being served by maids? Everything was so wrong about this place and she wished she could just leave. But even at home she wouldn't be welcomed anymore. If she dared go back to the farm now her father would most definately beat her to death. Or at least break her other arm and then she would be even more useless then she allready was. But it would happen. Because they thought she was something she was not. Channeling. The true sorce. It had to be a mistake. She was just a simple farmergirl and she didn't understand anything that wa going on.

She ran into the grass on the tower grounds. Not really knowing where she was going she stopped at a willow tree and hid behind it. Sitting down on her knees in the sand she let her tears flow. She felt stupid because she didn't know what was going on and what the people around her were talking about. She felt out of place she thought she would never give in. Sobbing, she made herself as small as she could, wishing she could just disappear.

Zaide made his way through the Tower grounds, finally having a few moments to spend by himself. He made his way to a part of the gardens he visited most often, where he had met that novice Shaya who had sent all his opinions of the Tower and its members on their heads. Since then, he had regained most of those, they had been fairly accurate after all, but he had also discovered quite a bit about the world, the Tower, and himself. Today had not been a good day, he had had his first lesson with his mentor, and had learned that training in saidin would take much longer than he had thought. Light, but I don't want to be here even a moment longer, how long can they keep me!? He walked along the paths, and stopped, he heard something strange for the gardens. It was a soft sound that he had heard only a few times before in his life, but could be nothing else, someone was most definately crying behind...that tree. He wondered whether he should see who it was, he doubted it was someone he knew, but what could make someone break down and cry in the gardens? What was so tragic that she could not get back to her room first? Curiosity got the better of him, and he stepped slowly, quietly, over to the tree. He moved around it quietly, until he could see a woman sitting behind it, on her knees, sobbing. He frowned, and wished for a moment that he had just continued on his way, what was he supposed to do now?Well, he could hardly walk away now, he had seen her, even if she did not know it, what if he had to speak to her, or work with her in the future? Could he do that, having seen this, especially after saying nothing? The Great Lord strike all women down for being such emotional creatures.

Finally, he made up his mind, and lowered himself down beside her. He reached out and gently tapped her arm nearest him. He wondered if she would be angry, he knew that if he were displaying such strong emotion, hidden, and a stranger suddenly decided to include himself he would be furious. He concidered leaving, but he knew the idea was crazy, he could not be out of sight before she lifted her head, she would see him, and if not already angry, would be then, and he thought that not even the Great Lord could help him then. Zaide knew nothing about women, but he knew that emotional as women were, they got angry easily, and when they did, they were angry for a long time. He had never been around women as a child, other than his mother, but he did not think she counted. Living on the farm had kept him secluded from all people, but that suited him just fine, people only caused problems and confusion anyway. Especially women. He had no desire to understand them, yet here he found himself, curious enough about this woman to find out what was bothering her, were she a man he would likely have laughed and walked on. Even so, he was surprised to find himself here, what forces must be at work to bring out the seldom-seen caring side of Zaide.

Soraya had been so cought up in feeling miserable she hadn't heared somebody approached her. She was of course very surprised when she felt someone poked her arm and looked up with big scared eyes. Who is that? She quickly turned around completely, not minding the sand that got on her dress, and instinctively crawled back till her back hit the tree. She looked at the young man openmouthed. Why would a man seek to speak with her, other that to command her to do something for him? She was scared, confused and embarassed all at the same time. She noticed by the uniform that he was a soldier. The fact that he didn't speak immediately confused her even greater. Would he ask her to leave, as this was a spot he wanted to sit in? She wept away some tears with the back of her right hand and that stared at him again in puzzlement.

Soraya had cried a lot in her life. When she got beaten, when she got punished, when she felt alone. Countless times she had cried herself to sleep at home, and she had cried when she had arrived here in Tar Valon because she felt so lost. Usually it started to rain after a while then, and she would feel lonely and wish someone was there to comfort her, to tell her things weren't so bad. Just somebody who cared....

"What do you want?" She finally asked with a broken voice, still sobbing. Maybe he would speak and make her understand. He didn't look like he was going to say something rude. By his expression it seemed he felt sorry for her. But you could never know what went on in a man's head. She had learned that the hard way. Did this soldier really care?

Zaide leaned back as the woman looked up, startled, and quickly scrabbled back against the tree, and finally speak. Zaide was not sure whether she was angry or not, those four words could mean any number of emotions or thoughts. Through her tears, he could not tell what emotion was held behind them, but he decided to chance it. "I was on my way through the gardens," he began, "and I heard someone crying, I was just curious." It was true, though he did not know why he was curious, he had never really been a curious person, and this was a strange change. He was still surprised he was here on the ground, crouched next to a woman he had never met, what did the Great Lord have in mind to bring him here now? "What's wrong?" he asked, his first thought had been 'Are you alright?' but that would be completely idiotic. Obviously she was not alright, but what could be so wrong, he wondered again.

He waited for the novice to reply, and wondered who she was, where had she come from? He realized suddenly that he had not identified himself, "I'm Zaide al'Karne," he said simply. What more explanation was needed? They said that rank and nationality did not matter here, Zaide had his name, and that was all he needed, according to the Asha'man. It did not matter to Zaide either, he had no intentions of going back to Andor, or being a farmer ever again, someplace exotic, and a much more fast paced career was much more appealing to him. He wondered where this woman was, and where she wished to be, obviously not here, perhaps back at her home, or perhaps she was like Zaide, and would prefer to be anywhere other than two specific places- here and 'home.'

Soraya carefully listened to the soldiers word, trying to find a hint of bad intentions. "I was on my way through the gardens, and I heard someone crying, I was just curious." Curious? Does he have a fascination with people in misery? "What's wrong?" Soraya blinked and stared at him in silence, as if she didn't really believe she had heared him say that. Did he really care? A sparkle of hope lightened her burden and she looked at him in expectance. If he would tell her that he really cared she would blindly trust him...

"I'm Zaide al'Karne," he then introduced himself while she still stared at him in expectance. She had stopped sobbing, fascinated by this young man who actually just seemed to be here for her. Not to beat her or to scold her or to chase her away... but to listen. She relaxed a little, and though she was still nervous and confused, the fear slowly flew away. Zaide. She repeated his name in her mind and tilted her head. She assumed he wanted her to tell him his name. "I'm Soraya." she said with a soft, almost whispering voice. Her head felt heavy from all the crying. She looked in his eyes and it seemed he still wanted to know what was wrong. What was wrong? "Everything is wrong." She told him with a trembling voice. She remembered her sadness from before this soldier had spoken to her. "I don't want to be here. I don't understand what these people want from me. They tell me to train to become Aes Sedai, and I have to take classes but...I can't even read..." She looked in his eyes, afraid he would laugh at her or something but he didn't. ".... I'm just a farmer's daughter." she sighed and waited for Zaide's response as if she awaited a miracle.

Zaide sat, waiting for the novice to say anything, either to tell him to leave and it was none of his business, or to tell him what was wrong. Finally, she said her name was Soraya, Zaide nodded, not knowing what else to do. When she went on her voice was a bit louder, but also less steady, and Zaide feared she would fall back into her tears. She told him she did not want to be here, and Zaide could not keep from nodding, she was most certianly not alone. When she finished he said nothing for a moment, mentally cursing the Aes Sedai, how could they want someone to join their ranks, and yet neglect them other than to tell them to do chores. Well, now I know where the Asha'man learned it from, he thought bitterly, the Aes Sedai sounded no better, and Zaide was very glad he did not have to deal with them. "I know how you feel," he said, his voice more rough than he meant it to be, but he could not help disliking those women that much. The only one so far who had not been condecending- at least not so much -had been Eithne, and he was sure that was only because of what he had chosen to do with his life. "I don't want to be here either, the only place I hated more than this place was my father's farm, but the bloody Asha'man won't listen to that. You could go to a sister to learn to read, perhaps a Brown- they like knowledge, don't they?"

Zaide fell silent for a moment and looked Soraya over, how strange was it that here he was, trying to comfort a novice who hated the Tower and could not read. He wondered just how much she hated this place, as much as him? Enough to do something drastic? Something as drastic as he had? Before the Great Lord was mentioned to him by that soldier while he was raking Zaide had viewed those loyal to him as most of the rest of the world did, though not nearly so strongly. In fact, it had only taken that one meeting for him to get his mind around the concept, and decide to risk his very being for a chance at something different. Since then, little had changed, other than the fact that he now had three Oaths constricting him, though they left quite a bit of room to breathe. He found himself thinking along slightly different lines, but the transition from Light 'loyal' to Dark loyal had been easy, if frightening. He wondered whether Soraya- like Zaide -felt that the Creator had not been enough, and needed a new force to drive her life. Something that, while bound, could still affect the world and her life much more than the Creator chose to. He did not say anything though, he needed to decide whether she would run terrified to the Amyrlin, or choose to take the Oaths, and join the ranks. He waited for her to speak, trying to think of something that would help him see where she stood without giving anything away.

"I know how you feel," he said bruskly. It was so spontaneous. She was sure he really meant it. A smile cracked through on her face and her eyes showed a sparkle of hope. "I don't want to be here either, the only place I hated more than this place was my father's farm, but the bloody Asha'man won't listen to that. You could go to a sister to learn to read, perhaps a Brown- they like knowledge, don't they?" If she wasn't allready sitting down she would definately have lost balance at the hearing of his dazzling words. He's a farmer like me, she thought. It suddenly made her feel warm and comfortable. We are the same. Or at least we have a few things in common. Her smile became even bigger. Only a minute ago she had crawled away from him but now she wanted to cuddle up in his arms and just be happy she found a normal person like herself.

"You're a farmer too?" she said softly, still with a trace of disbelief in her voice. "That's...." I feel less alone now... She blushed slightly at that thought. "I haven't really dared say to the Aes Sedai that I couldn't read. I'm ashamed because all the other novices seem to be able to...." she looked in his eyes as if pleading for support. She wanted him to save her from her fears, confusion and shame.

Her fingers of her left hand subconsciously touched the small scarr she had on her lower lip. It was a habit she had had for many years but now she cought herself on it and looked down to the ground. She thought about herself and tried to think clearly. She had to be carefull. It was great to have someone listen to her but when he would find out who she really was he would reject her like everybody else.... But still it was nice to have this attention. "I don't want to go home either." she said then, trying to mention more things they had in common.

Zaide was surprised when Soraya smiled, and then the smile turned to a grin, before she finally spoke. Zaide wondered whether all women were so strange, only a moment ago she had been crying, and now she was grinning? He suppressed the urge to sigh, he knew he would never understand women, but one would think they would make sense some of the bloody time. He wondered what he had said, or done, to make her change her mood so suddenly, but he did not have long to wonder, the first thing she said was "You're a farmer too?" Almost as if she did not believe him. Why would I say I'm a bloody farmer, and not mean it, it's not as if I said I'm loyal to the Light- then again, she'd believe that one. Instead, he said with a bit of scorn, "No, I'm not a farmer, my father's a farmer, I certainly didn't choose that life." He frowned when she mentioned her inability to read again. He could understand shame, but to let that shame keep her from doing something she truly wished to do, and needed to really, was that not mad? "Everyone has to learn at some point, certainly you're not the only one who can't read, there's hundreds of people here, there must be others."

Zaide noted that her hand drifed to a scar on her lip. Zaide wondered what that had come from, but did not ask, there were plenty of ways for a person to get a scar, even if they were royalty, which a farmer most certainly was not. After a few moments, she said that she did not want to go home either. It seemed that Zaide's two main opinions- hatred of the Tower, and not wanting to go home -were shared in this one novice, he had certainly not expected to find someone with even so little in common. Well, now that he knew she had no real place to call home, neither the Tower nor wherever she had come from, he began to wonder more truly about whether she would take the Oaths, given the choice. Then again, what if she was truly horrified by it, and ran off screaming or something, and got Zaide killed, as well as revealed the Darkfriends in the Tower. There was no way to know what she would say before he told her, not for sure, but as of now, Zaide thought it was too much of a risk. Well, that soldier told me about the Shadow within an hour or so, how did he know I would respond well? He could not have, could he? Perhaps he had had a backup plan, some sort of method to keep Zaide quiet, should he be wrong. Eithne could do something, if Zaide could find her, and quickly enough. If worst came to worst, Zaide could 'capture' her, until he could get ahold of the Aes Sedai. Even so, he decided to wait a bit longer, at least, there was no point in wasting energy and risk being found out until he was as certain as he was going to get, it would be much less messy this way anyway.

Soraya looked down. it seemed she had offended him by thinking he was a farmer. But at least he wasn't someone who had had servants or anything... He was silent now, as if he was thinking. She didn't want him to leave, but couldn't find anything to say to him, to keep him interested. Maybe his curiosity had now just been satisfied. He knew why she had been crying. There was nothing that should keep him there with her. Soraya also took a short moment to think. She would go to a Brown sister. Maybe Zaide was right and they wouldn't make a big deal out of it. She still felt lost though. Her eyes still itched and tears were not far away, but she repressed them and looked at Zaide, wondering if he had made up his mind about her.

She wondered if she was even worth his attention. Maybe she was keeping him from his duty. I'm so selfish demanding his attention like this. "I'm really sorry if I kept you from something. Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate it." She tried not to talk herself down too much but she wanted him to know that it meant something to her. She breathed regularly again and swallowed away the pain and the guilt. As long as there were people who cared there was no need to be that sad. "I will take your advice and talk to a brown sister..." The idea of going to knock on an Aes Sedai's dore seemed scary but she promised herself she would do it. "Do you know any of them? I mean can you recommend someone who won't bite my head off when I go there?" She told herself not to act too dependant, but maybe he knew someone who could help her.

(OOC: :look)

Zaide was brought back from his reverie when she spoke again, apologizing and thanking him. Thanking him? Zaide was a bit surprised, why would she thank him for talking to her? Zaide tried to hide his surprise, and replied kindly. "You haven't kept me from anything, and it's alright, talking isn't too demanding a task." He wondered what kind of home she must have come from to thank someone for talking to her, something worse than Zaide's own certainly. She spoke again, asking him whether he knew a Brown sister who would be willing to teach her. Zaide did not know what Ajah Eithne was of, but from what he knew of her she did not seem as though she would be unwilling to teach someone. "I know only one sister, and I am not sure of her Ajah, but she was kind to me when I spoke to her. Eithne Sedai, she should not be too difficult to find for a novice, right? If you'd like, you can go to her, and tell her you know me, that way if she does not want to teach you it won't be your fault." Zaide was surprised that he had offered himself as a scapegoat, but he wanted to make sure she would go to Eithne. This made his job much easier, this way he would not have to deal with anything if she turned out to not be what he suspected.

He thought he would find Eithne as well, and tell her what was to happen, hopefully he would be able to find her before Soraya. He wondered what Eithne would think when she found out Zaide had found someone he thought would be a fair addition to the Shadow. He wondered what to say now, he had found out why Soraya had been crying, and learned a good bit more, but now it seemed there was nothing else to do. He was a bit preoccupied with what to do next, how did one recruit someone to the Shadow? He was not exactly doing just that, but he was certainly nervous enough.

(ooc: :look .... I hadn't realised this wasn't finished yet....)

"I know only one sister, and I am not sure of her Ajah, but she was kind to me when I spoke to her. Eithne Sedai, she should not be too difficult to find for a novice, right? If you'd like, you can go to her, and tell her you know me, that way if she does not want to teach you it won't be your fault." She blinked in disbelief for a second, and then felt the almost unsurpressable urge to lean forward and snuggle him. Soraya nodded and smiled. "I...." She searched for his eyes and wondered if he knew how much this meant to her. The fact that he would take the blame for her was unthinkable, yet she had heared those words from his lips just now. She tried to get herself together and stood up. After taking her eyes off him she calmed down a little and while she wept a little dirt of her white dress, Zaide stood up as well.

They both seemed a bit uncertain of what to do now. Soraya wiped her face with her hands again to make sure it was dry now, and looked Zaide. "Eithne Sedai, right? ... I will go to report to her... I have class later so I probably better go find her tomorrow morning..." Her savior seemed to be a little nervous as well now. I'd better be going now, Soraya thought to herself, before I say something foolish. "Thaks again for talking to me, I feel a lot better now."