THE ESSENTIAL ERIC POWELL UTTERLY IMPORTANT CELEBRITY SURVEY THAT'S NOT AT ALL USELESS!
If any of you have read The Goon, you know of what I speak. Unless you're too lazy to read the back page, some people might be... but anyhow, this is a spectacular new comic I've found, and grabbed a few back issues of. The creator's (Eric Powell) two favorite shows as a kid were The Andy Griffith Show and the Twilight Zone; trust me, it shows. Anyhoo, here are some of the questions he asks celebrities, and then puts in the Mail Page of the comic. Some disturbing content. All opposed to sexual relations between man and mailbox, you should probably stop here. Basically, I just want everyone who's up to it to answer it themselves. If you guys want, I'll post up the answers of some of the celebrities later.
Okay, questions!
1) If you had a three legged pink goat that defecated chocolate ice cream, what would you name it?
2)What do you think the motivation was behind the extra-terrestrial assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and JFK?
3)How many licks does it take to get to the center of a jelly filled, candy coated, life size replica of Willy Nelson?
4)When cleaning the blood of a homeless person from the trunk of your car, what tunes do you most enjoy whistling?
5)Are you the devil?
6)When dining with someone of small stature, what breakfast food do you prefer?
7) What is the best application of the Wankel Rotary Engine?
8)How many warnings do you think you should receive before being arrested for stalking the cashier at the 7-11 even though you know she was giving you the eye and oh so slightly but erotically carressed your hand as she returned your change for the stack of porn magazines, butter, and fishbait you had just purchased? Supplemental question...can you make love to someone's mailbox if they have a restraining order against you?
All of these questions are verbatim... so get on to answering! :lol:
I have to do this one...
1) If you had a three legged pink goat that defecated chocolate ice cream, what would you name it?
I would name him Dr. Moreau, from the book "The Island of Dr. Moreau".
2)What do you think the motivation was behind the extra-terrestrial assassinations of Abraham Lincoln and JFK?
Well, they just didn't like Lincolns nasaly voice. (Yes, he had a horrible sqeaky voice, a fact lost in history). The sound of it drove them crazy and made their eardrum pop, so they had to get rid of him if they wanted any control over politics. As for Kennedy, well, the aliens are quite fond of Marilyn Monroe, especially her Birthday Song voice, and when Kennedy had her killed, they enacted revenge.
3)How many licks does it take to get to the center of a jelly filled, candy coated, life size replica of Willy Nelson?
Depends on where you start from. If you start in the arm pit, it would probably take 758 strong licks.
4)When cleaning the blood of a homeless person from the trunk of your car, what tunes do you most enjoy whistling?
"Bang Bang Maxwell's Hammer" by the Beatles and "The Chanukah Song" by Adam Sandler, version 1.
5)Are you the devil?
I am, on one of my RP sites.
6)When dining with someone of small stature, what breakfast food do you prefer?
Short stack pancakes. :look
7) What is the best application of the Wankel Rotary Engine?
To be used in my mad laboratory...for, um, secret purposes.
8)How many warnings do you think you should receive before being arrested for stalking the cashier at the 7-11 even though you know she was giving you the eye and oh so slightly but erotically carressed your hand as she returned your change for the stack of porn magazines, butter, and fishbait you had just purchased? Supplemental question...can you make love to someone's mailbox if they have a restraining order against you?
Well, if she did ALL that, you would probably need twelve warnings, especialy if she flirtd with you when you bought the fishbait. We all know what that means. And yes, you can make love to somone's mailbox if they have a restraining order against you, but you'd have to buy off two brutes to keep the mailbox from running while you had your way :look