Kaliendra had just finished a private lesson with an Accepted trying to teach her to read and write. The letters and sounds were all jumbled in her head. She couldn’t remember what sounds belonged to each letter. There were to many rules needed to read. The “e” is silent sometimes, the “a” can have different sounds. Combining different letters makes them have different sounds. It was giving her a headache. The accepted had just dismissed her from the class, so she went to the mess hall to eat.

The mess hall was packed with people. Kali had never seen so many people in the same place in her life. She stood their staring at everyone for a while. She never thought a place like this existed. Kali wondered how she was supposed to get food. Some other novices entered the room, and went to go get food. Kaliendra fallowed behind to them and got a tray of food. The groups of girl novices were all friends. They were chatting and laughing together, and all went to the same table to eat.

Kali did not fallow them to their table. She looked around the room for an empty table, but couldn’t find any. She noticed a table with only one person sitting and decided to sit there. Kaliendra walked over to the table and paused to see if the person was going to tell her to leave. But the person said nothing, so she sat down at the table. Kaliendra made sure to sit at the opposite end of the table, she didn’t want to get in anyone’s way.
Kaliendra looked down at her food and began to eat.

So this was her new life? Nevira watched the crowded room called the mess hall. There were all kinds of people in here; lots of girls in white dresses, some with bands on the hem in seven different colors; men and boys in black uniforms, some with one or two pins at the neck marking their rank; then there were boys and girls just like her. Three fractions; novices, Accepted; soldiers, dedicated along with an occasional Asha'man; and at last recruits, younglings and Gaidin. Sure there were occasional Aes Sedai two but they were few compared to the rest.

Making her way through the room Nevira was amazed at the amount of people the Tower fed. They must have an army just dealing with cooking... She thought as she got a tray of food from a novice. Nevira gave the girl a small smile and a nod before she turned to look for a place to sit. To her luck a group of black clad soldiers just rose from a table leaving it empty, so she quickly made her way there and sat down, avoiding to get knocked over by novices scurrying around picking up dishes that some foolish people just left standing on the tables.

Sitting down it was hard to concentrate on eating, there were so many around that she felt watched at all times and felt a need to look over her shoulder. Nervously she took a first bite, it wasn't to bad. Keeping on eating Nevira calmed down slowly, and then a girl suddenly sat down at the table. She sat at the opposite end, minding herself clearly making sure not to disturb Nevira. Nevira couldn't for the love of the light understand why a channeler avoided anyone, unless of course they wanted to be alone. but the way this novice behaved it seemed odd, not at all as if it was her own choice. Perhaps she hasn't learned that trick from the Aes Sedai yet? Nevira thought, then suddenly felt an urge and slid over her tray as she changed seats and sat herself opposite the novice. "I thought you novices always travelled in groups?" Nevira said with a joking tone and watched the novice to judge her reactions. This might after all be a really bad idea, all things considered, this was a channeler and Nevira preferred staying alive.

Kaliendra watched as the girl changed moved to sit next to her. She wondered why the girl was doing it. She didn’t like the girl moving close to her and it made her slightly nervous. . Kaliendra almost wanted to get up and move to the other side of the table. but that would be rude, and I don’t want to anger someone who is trained in fighting

“I thought you novices always traveled in groups?” the girl said. Kaliendra wondered what that meant. why do the novices travel in groups? Is it dangerous to be alone
Kaliendra looked up at the girl, “uhh…I’m new here, I don’t have..a group. My name is Kaliendra, what’s yours?” Kali was just trying to make conversation, because it was odd having someone talk to her, without her answering. She really didn’t care who the girl was, and she didn’t expect to make friends. Kali was just planning on taking classes and doing chores, to get herself raised to Aes Sedai. And then, ….well she had no idea what would happen then.

The girl was nervous to say the least. She didn't like that Nevira even slid over to speak with her still the girl tried to make conversation. “uhh…I’m new here, I don’t have..a group. My name is Kaliendra, what’s yours?” Nevira smiled a small smile, she would never have expected a channeler to be nervous around her of all people! "I'm Nevira, I'm one of the recruits, but you might have figured that one out already." She told the girl with a wink. "So how come you ended up here? you don't really seem to like it much..." Nevira was serious this time, and had a sympathetic look on her face. She didn't dare show that she was curious. The girl was scared, probably for a reason, but Nevira couldn't in the name of light understand why.

Continuing to eat Nevira had completely forgotten to look around. She no longer cared about her surroundings and so she herself was much less scared. She would probably scold herself later for doing so, but right now it felt good. She studied the girls appearance to see if she could guess where the girl came from. Her brownish blond hair and big brown eyes made Nevira think of Tarabon, perhaps that was her reason for being so nervous? But some how Nevira thought that couldn't white be it. The girl had no braids that marked a Taraboner out clearly, she didn't speak like one. Even so Nevira had no idea where the girl was from. Perhaps a place I have never been?

"I'm Nevira, I'm one of the recruits, but you might have figured that one out already." the girl said, and then she winked. "So how come you ended up here? you don't really seem to like it much..."

It wasn’t that she didn’t like the White Tower. She just didn’t like anywhere. And home definitely was not a better place to be. At least the people here seem nicer than home. This recruit seemed friendly, but then the girl she once called her friend also seemed nice. Kaliendra had learned from her childhood ‘friend’ that people could easily feign being nice. She would not make the same mistake twice.

How did she end up here, the girl had asked. Kaliendra looked up into Nevira’s eyes when she had asked that question. She was certain Nevira would be shocked by her answer. Kali wondered if she should ever tell the recruit, but she had asked.

It was only a few days ago and Kali could remember everything as if it just happened. She stared off at nothing, with a distant look as the memories filled her mind. Light! How she remembered the pain of that night. In a detached and distant voice she spoke. It was as if she was not really speaking to Nevira, but just saying her memories aloud. Kaliendra spoke slowly with many pauses, “It was an Aes Sedai, one of the Yellow Ajah. I didn’t ask her to heal me, no one did. An inch to right, she told me, and I would have been dead. All I had to do was hit my heart, but even in that I was a failure. I told her I wanted to end it all. She didn’t care. I just wanted to try one more time, I was certain I would not miss again. But she wouldn’t let me...she insisted I come here and learn to channel.” Her whole life, her whole existence was meaningless; all she had wanted to do was end it. To stop the pain forever, but she couldn’t even do that. The knife had missed her heart by a mere inch. Why couldn’t the Aes Sedai have just let her die. Kaliendra did not belong here, she knew she would eventually be sent home as a failure. Her father would be furious at her when she returned back home.

The girl did not cheer up by Neviras joking manners, but at least the girl didn't take offense, not in a way that showed. As she asked the girl how she ended up here the girl just looked straight into Nevira's eyes. The expression on her face made Nevira unsure of if she should really have asked that question. As the girl then started to stare off at nothing while answering in a voice that was without hope or joy Nevira listened and did her best not to think of her own life. “It was an Aes Sedai, one of the Yellow Ajah. I didn’t ask her to heal me, no one did. An inch to right, she told me, and I would have been dead. All I had to do was hit my heart, but even in that I was a failure. I told her I wanted to end it all. She didn’t care. I just wanted to try one more time, I was certain I would not miss again. But she wouldn’t let me...she insisted I come here and learn to channel.” The girl hesitated and paused at many places as she spoke, but still Nevira let her speak, perhaps it would help letting out the hurt and pain of it all. She wished she could do that. But she knew she never could, never. This girl just like herself had been offered a new life, a better one from the sound of what she had done. "I hope that being here will make you feel better. I don't know what caused your pain and reason for wanting to die, but at least you have come away from there now." She looked down at her food without really seeing it. Her own pain was flaring up inside, the pain of loss rather then a pain that caused her to give up on life. No her own pain showed her that she truly wanted life, not only for herself but for those she had lost as well.

Pulling a strand of hair back behind her ear Nevira looked up again. "So have you been taught how to channel yet?" If it was something she had heard since coming here it was that channeling for a channeler was life itself. Nevira didn't really understand the meaning of that, but she hoped it would be good news for this girl. How odd she may be. "I hear it's great, like life itself, but I wouldn't know. I'm no channeler after all." She smiled a week smile, hoping to get the girl out of her suicide thoughts at least.

Kali noticed the way the woman was quick to change the subject, and the weak smile she gave her. The idea of sitting with a girl who was talking about suicide must be disturbing her. She was slightly curious to know what the recruit thought of her. It didn’t really bother her what type of impression she was making upon the recruit, Kali had long since stopped caring what anyone thought of her. She wouldn’t be surprised if the woman wanted to leave, and Kali almost expected Nevira to just get up from the table and leave. But she didn’t. She remained there and kept trying to make conversation.

Kaliendra wondered if it was true what the Aes Sedai had told her. That not all people where like those who lived in her village. That there would be friendly people in the White Tower. Kaliendra almost hoped it was true, she wondered what it would be like to have a true friend, but she knew she would ever be able to trust anyone again. Kali tried to force a smile back towards the recruit, but it was pitiful, she could even force a smile. She gave the recruit a weak smile, that she was not sure could even be called a smile. “No, I start my first lesson tomorrow. ‘life itself’?, I am not sure I understand you. “ It looked as though the recruit didn’t understand herself, she was just repeating something she’d been told. “Well, I guess I will find out tomorrow. How long have you been here?...Do you like it here?” Kali was still unsure if she liked it here, but she wanted to know what other people thought of the White Tower.

((OOC: sorry for the shortness of the post :/))

“Well, I guess I will find out tomorrow. How long have you been here?...Do you like it here?” Nevira shrugged. "I'm not starving, I'm being educated and I can stay as long as I do good and learn, what more is there to ask for?" She knew the answer upon many new peoples lips around here. 'Freedom', but Nevira couldn't quite understand that. Many people never left an area as large as the towers, interacted with less people on a day to day basis, but still they saw it as freedom if they didn't have a rule preventing them from leaving. Perhaps they where home sick? Nevira wouldn't know, she hadn't had a steady home since the last war on Almoth.

Kaliendra was an odd character, she was cold, didn't truly smile... But then again Nevira knew kind of why that was. Suicide wasn't something people just jumped into now did they? "What do you think about this place so far?" She asked the novice. "Or would you rather go back home?" Nevira tilted her head slightly. It might bring the subject back again, but she didn't care. The girl would have to live with her mistakes, there was no point in killing yourself because of life, you were reborn into it over and over after all. No control of into where, no control of what happened after either, just as now.

Nevira shrugged. "I'm not starving, I'm being educated and I can stay as long as I do good and learn, what more is there to ask for?" Kali nodded, those where good reasons to stay. She rarely got enough food, and this place seemed to have an abundance of it. But that was not the only reason to stay. She thought the question was rhetorical, and the recruit did not expect her to answer. But, there was an answer, “Happiness” was all Kali said in responce. [i] As far back as she could remember she could not remember a time she considered herself truly happy. She had heard the word before and she knew its meaning, but it was still a foreign concept to her.

"What do you think about this place so far?" She asked the novice. "Or would you rather go back home?" Nevira tilted her head slightly.
Kaliendra shook her head and firmly said, “No. Never back home.” That was the only thing Kali was certain about in life. She would not go back home, ever. But what would she do if the Aes Sedai sent her back? Would she be able to run away from them, before they returned her home? “What do I think about TarValon? I haven’t decided yet, but it can not be worse than home.” The Aes Sedai had told her she would not be sent back to her fathers, but Kali was unsure if she believed the women. Kali had heard rumors that Aes Sedai could not lie, but she also heard rumors that one should never trust an Aes Sedai. On her journey here, Kali often found herself wondering which was true. If someone always told the truth there would no reason to distrust them. Perhaps the recruit would know. “Nevira, can the Aes Sedai be trusted to keep their word?” How would she know the recruit would tell her the truth. She lived her, she might lie to Kali to try and keep her hear.

“Happiness” Kali responded to a question that had never really been a question. Nevira nodded though in response, Kaliendra was speaking the truth. Happiness was something that everyone needed, but happiness was something you created by appreciating the moment and what you had, not by wondering what it was and going where it might be. Nevira had learned that along time ago. Even through the hardest times she had had in life learning that had made her strong enough to keep on. Even though all her family, her true one and her adopted one was long gone, she was still alive and she had gotten a chance to walk on the good side of life. That was something she was happy about and took every chance of enjoying. With or without the freedom of no rules but your own.

“No. Never back home. What do I think about TarValon? I haven’t decided yet, but it can not be worse than home.” Nevira nodded, showing that she understood the girl. "As far as I know so far, it's better then most places, even with all the Aes Sedai." Nevira said a little jokingly again. Kaliendra might not react as most to jokes, but it was part of Nevira, she hated being down she was that way to often nowadays. Just a moment later though Kaliendra seemed to get out of her thoughts and asked a question Nevira though she'd never have to answer. Frankly she had never really thought anyone would ask her that question. “Nevira, can the Aes Sedai be trusted to keep their word?” Remembering her class of Daes Dae'mar, Nevira gave Kaliendra a thoughtful look. "Yes, and no. Aes Sedai are power people, just like nobles. The difference between them is the one oath." Long ago, in the past it had been the three oaths but now there was only one, both Asha'man and Aes Sedai swore it, or so she had been taught. "The one oath prevents them from speaking words that are not true. But it doesn't prevent them from not saying something, speaking in riddles or saying half a truth. Only a very specific and clear sentence from an Aes Sedai, or Asha'man for that matter, can be seen as fully true... and even then you have to be careful." You learned a lot here, many things from people that were scared of the rulers here, many things from those unwilling to be caught in their nets. What they didn't know was that anyone here naturally was a part of the web, just as the pattern of life. Without the people of Tar Valon, the Aes Sedai and Asha'man wouldn't have the position they had, things would look very different. "Why? Has an Aes Sedai made you a promise?" Nevira smiled a weak curious smile. She hoped she wasn't offending Kaliendra by asking.

She listened as Nevira answered her question, “As far as I know so far, it's better then most places, even with all the Aes Sedai.” What was that supposed to mean? Was it bad to be around Aes Sedai. Kaliendra didn’t understand and all and just looked at Nevira in confusion.

Nevira looked as though she was trying hard to think of an answer to Kali’s question about the Aes Sedai. And then she answered, “Yes, and no. Aes Sedai are power people, just like nobles. The difference between them is the one oath. The one oath prevents them from speaking words that are not true. But it doesn't prevent them from not saying something, speaking in riddles or saying half a truth. Only a very specific and clear sentence from an Aes Sedai, or Asha'man for that matter, can be seen as fully true... and even then you have to be careful.” Kaliendra was thinking hard about what the girl was telling her. ‘Yes and no’, that didn’t seem to be much help.

She was almost relieved when Nevira asked the next question, “Has an Aes Sedai made you a promise?" Kaliendra looked at her, “Yes, she told me I’d never have to go back home.” Thinking more about what the recruit had said, “actually, she promised me that if I proved myself worthy of the shawl, I would never have to return home again….” Kali paused before decided she wanted to continue, “…and, she said my brother and father would never be able to….hurt me again.” The last part of that sentence was said slowly as though she had to force the words out.

Kaliendra didn't seem offended but answered her question. “Yes, she told me I’d never have to go back home.” Then she thought for a moment only to change what she had said. “actually, she promised me that if I proved myself worthy of the shawl, I would never have to return home again……and, she said my brother and father would never be able to… hurt me again.” Nevira nodded. "So let me get this straight. She said that if you become Aes Sedai you won't have to go home, but either way your family won't be able to hurt you after your education is done." Thinking for a moment she nodded, "That makes sense, you are here to learn how to channel, channeling is power and with it you can always defend yourself, can't you?" Nevira gave the girl an encouraging smile. Perhaps the girl would find console in that and in time, light up a bit and enjoy her life. Nevira hoped so, but it was all up to Kaliendra to make it happen.

A bell rang, informing everyone that the next hour had already started. With a quick look at her plate Nevira blinked before saying. "I'm really sorry I have to go, the Gaidins aren't particularly fun to be around when you're late to their classes." She frowned slightly but the smile came back. "It was nice meeting you, I hope you'll like it here. Perhaps we'll see each other around?"

After saying good bye Nevira rose, gave the novice a final nod and left with her plate to return it to the kitchen before running off to her classes. In her mind thoughts of Kaliendra and what she had told Nevira floated around, Kaliendra might be odd, but even with her odd chilly and most interesting social skills she was still nice.