So I'm in a bit of a mood this evening, and instead of going off on a rant about 'what's botherin' Hardy this week', I figure I'll make an effort to turn my desires for wanton face beatings into something altogether more constructive.

For the unaware, I happen to love chocolate. I mean, who doesn't, right? Still, I never seem to get sick off he stuff, and I love it in ways that I'm sure the bible and its various followers would be uneasy about.

So, I suppose you'll all be wanting to know about my favorite kinds of chocolate, right? Well, Caramel Cadbury eggs, it being close to Easter, are high on my list. They're just so damn good, I have to swear about it. Cadbury chocolate used to be available in my area in a 3 lb bar at the Duty Free store near the bridge to Canada, although I'm sorry to say I've been unable to just swing by and pick one of those milk chocolate monstrosities up for a few years now. Dunno if they're still there, but damn, they were good.

Second to Cadbury is, of course, Hershey. Anyone here never had a Hershey bar or Hershey product? Raise yer hands.

For those poor bastards with their hands in the air RIGHT NOW, do yourself a favor and go spend the 50 cents on a chocolate bar. Maybe even with almonds.

Hershey's milk chocolate, especially in the 5 lb bulk it can be found in during certain (EASTER) times of the year, is really what the fruit of the tree of knowledge probably had to taste like to get Adam and Eve to go against God's wishes like they did. Seriously, it isn't just the deliciousness of it, it's the VARIETY. They have king size bars, and then they have GIANT bars, and some of their 'flavors' (if you want to use such an unsophisticated term) only come in one size. The latest and greatest invention of the mighty chocolatier? The Peanut Butter Chocolate Bar. It's ranked in the GIANT category, and it so remarkably simple it's a wonder Reese's thought of it first. Inside each block of wonderful chocolate is, you guessed it, PEANUT BUTTER. This save a guy like me, who cannot get enough of this particular combo, the trouble of dipping his chocolate bar into the jar of peanut butter, resulting in sticky fingers.

And of course I can't talk about Hershey's without going into one of their unsung brilliant ideas: the cookies and cream bar. White chocolate with thousands of small cookie bits in it? Sign me the hell up. The only thing that baffles me about this is why no GIANT version of THAT has been made. The only reason my brain can rationalize is that the creation of such a beautiful thing would, somehow, go against the 10 commandments and would, in fact, damn the entire human race to hell for an eternity if it was ever produced.

The third greatest taste on the planet, for my money, goes to Nestle. I love crunch bars, and crunch bars with caramel in them? Oh, my my my... such wonderful things come in such cheap little packages.

Fourth place goes to Dove. They're mainly into Dark Chocolate, which isn't much my scene, and they're a bit pricey (comparitively) in some cases, but all said, they're not bad. If I can't find anything else, I can be happy with Dove chocolate.

And then there's EVERYTHING else. The 'gourmet' chocolates that cost 5 bucks a bar and are as thin as paper. I mean, sure, I respect Godiva and that crowd, but they just try to DO too much. The chocolate becomes a decoration or a fancy shell for cherries or something. Ugh.

Thoughts? Rebuttals? Issues with what I've said? By all means, let your brain be heard on this magical subject.

So over in the US you get chocolate 5 times cheaper than ours and its twice as large or something... thats insane! *kicks Australia for ripping us off all the time*

I'm not a fan of chocolate and at easter i generally ask for nothing or if they keep asking me telling me no is not an answer i just go with Peanut M&Ms.

Ijust came back from Europe, and if there was one thing that surprised me, it was its HUGE Aero bars. They are around 3-4 times bigger than our Canadien bars, and it costed only 2pounds! I know what youre saying, 2 pounds is 4 dolars Canadien, but so what? Four times more chocolate for twice the price? sign me up ^_^

I think I got a cavity from all this chocolate talk. =p

As for me... I just recently discovered Cadbury Creme eggs. Not the caramel kind (they're readily available, but I can't eat them, damn it all), just the plain ones. I suddenly have such a better understanding of why they exist, and why Rayne loves them so much.

^^; My absolute favorite chocolate though is Cookies and Cream. I have to agree with you that it's highly disappointing that no GIANT version has been made, but your theory is pretty sound as to why not.

Other than that, I really have nothing to add to this conversation. You covered it all, Hard.

Also, now we all know what to get you for your birthday. =p

That is the most brilliant explaination i've ever heard about the lack of monster-sized Cookies & Cream bars. I also must be somewhat psycic, as i had a cookies and cream bar with my lunch a few minutes ago. YAY IRONIC TIMING!

My favorite chocolate-related candy has to go to the Take 5 bar. I forget which company makes the crazy little thing, but DAMN IT'S GOOD. Kit Kat, Twix, Peanut M&Ms, Almond Hershey bars, sweet zombie jebus, it's too hard to pit a second favorite!

One of the things I forgot to mention, although I seemingly went off about 'Commercial' chocolates, was homemade chocolate. Generally speaking, I'm against it for the same reason I'm not a fan of gourmet stuff: the chocolate is just a side dish for whatever pollutants they're sticking in there. There are, however, exceptions.

And one of them is my mother's homemade peanut butter-chocolate fudge.

I mention this because, no less thna an hour ago, a batch was made and I couldn't be happier. It's the most wonderful thing I have ever had in my mouth, and I've had steak in Vegas. Trust me, it may not sound like much of a compairison, but if you've ever had GOOD steak in Vegas, you'd understand what I'm talking about.

I'd have to agree with you Hardman.

Caramel chocolate is definitely number one of the list. Seriously, if you've never had a caramel chocolate bar...well, you just need to. It's that simple. Buy one and eat it. I seriously think I may have creamed myself the first time I had one. So...I guess I lost my virginity to a chocolate bar.

Now the rest of it is just too good, I can't really decide between any one. The real reason that this part of my list is in accordance with yours would be because when I think about chocolate, I just think Hershey's and Nestle's. Both have their own awesome tastes, and are always welcome by me.

And the last part about the gourmet chocolates and homemade chocolates is so right. Gourmet chocolate is just small amounts of chocolate. Nothing special. The only really outstanding gourmet chocolate is the fruit dipped in chocolate, and that can be done at home (although chocolate covered cherries seem better packaged, that's not enough to raise it's ranking). Homemade chocolate is also easier to get... just wait until a holiday, and your mom cooks some up. It's a sweet deal if there ever was one.

My favorite homemade chocolate, however, would have to be my mom's mint chocolate fudge, with two layers of fudge and one of mint creme.

Cadbury Creme eggs are quite delectable.

I'm not really a fan off milk chocolate, but if it has almonds or caramel or peanuts or peanut butter and all that jazz I'm all for it. Milky Way, Milk Duds, and Three Musketeers are my top choice in Halloween candy. White chocolate is very sweet, just the way I like it, and dark chocolate has a nice sharp taste. It's supposedly healthy too.

And then there's chocolate fudge. *drools*

Lucky people and their chocolates. I always hear "You don't know what your missing" and whatnot. Grr...
(^ Allergic to Chocolate. X.o)

Youre allergic to chocalate? why? stomac holes? ( sounds wierd, but my friend has that, and cant have chocolate, thought he can have white chocolate for some odd reason o.O ...) you allergic to Cacao?

I am not too big on chocolate, but I do like these little fruit gel sticks that are coated in chocolate.

-Dark Chocolate
-White chocolate
-Milk Chocolate
-Milk chocolate on POCKY.
-Cherries with chocolate coating.
-Cookies that are chocolate
-Chocolate no-bake oat cookies that my Grandma can make
-Selection boxes
-Chocolate M-M-ish eggies.
-Reeses ANYTHING
-CookiesandCream
-Chocolate bars
-Chocolate covered raisins

Holes in the stomach? Perhaps a Gastric Ulcer of some kind..
White Chocolate isn't really chocolate..it contains no chocolate liquor or cocoa solids. It's just a mixture of sugar, cocoa butter and milk solids. It was made in New Hampshire after World War 1..it's at least 20% cocoa butter (by weight), at least 14% total milk solids, at least 3.5% milk fat, and less than 55% sugar or other sweeteners.

So basically, the darker the chocolate, the healthier it is.

My favorite candy in the world has to be these chocolate candies that have cherries in the middle with cherry juice inside them. ~<3

I forgot the name of the brand but... Oh my god... It has to be the best tasting chocolate I've ever eaten. It's like ZOMGORGASM good.

Me? I like dem crunchy chocolate, makes me feel good inside when I eat it. especially those with nuts in them.

Apparently Hershey made Hershey's kisses with cherry inside. They creamably good.

Peanut butter chocolate is like smex in a bottle..but I've never had smex and they aren't bottled.

How do I know it's ZOMGORGASM good if I don't know what a ZOMGORGASM is like?
*innocent eyes* Daddy, what's a ZOMGORGASM? ^.^

Gourmet..the regular stuff is fine.

Any chocolate is good. Repeat after me. ANY chocolate is good.

I don't care what's in it. If it's chocolate, I'm freaking eating it! If you leave your chocolate laying out, I'm eating it!

and if it's Nestle's Crunch.... Then I'm gonna bite your arm off just to get said chocolate.

We clear?

Sixlets.

Best chocolate candy ever.