NOTE: Many movie references. You've been warned... *mwahahahaha*

Katie Couric: Good morning, I'm Katie Couric, and our own news station will be sponsoring the new TV show, Celebrity Court. Today's first case is Gene Wilder.

JudgeTree: *BAM BAM* COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. MR. WILDER, YOU HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH SERIAL KILLINGS. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

Gene Wilder: *sings* Come with me
An you'll be
In a world
Of pure assassination!

JudgeTree: I ANNOUNCE YOU GUILTY! TAKE HIM AWAY, MR. HARTMAN.

Phil Hartman: Come on, Gene. *drags him out in cuffs*

Gene Wilder: MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!!

JudgeTree: *BAM BAM* NEXT CASE: JASON BIGGS.

*Jason Biggs walks inside the court room*

JudgeTree: MR. BIGGS, YOU HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH THE RAPE OF A CHERRY PIE. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

Jason Biggs: Innocent. Do I look like a pie raper?

JudgeTree: LET'S ASK THE PIE. MISS CHERRY PIE, YOU ARE SUMMONED TO SPEAK.

*Prosecutor Ito places a pie in the seat next to the JudgeTree*

Ito: Now, Miss Pie. Tell us loud and clear what happened to you.

Pie: *silent*

Ito: Not only did he rape you; He beat you too?

Pie: *silent*

Ito: I understand. *turns towards the JudgeTree: Your honor, she said that she was raped and beaten by Mr. Biggs.

JudgeTree: OH MY! THIS CANNOT GO WITHOUT PUNISHMENT! *BAM BAM* THE VERDICT?

All of the jurors: Guilty as fricken charged, your honor.

JudgeTree: *BAM BAM* MR. BIGGS, I ANNOUNCE YOU GUILTY! YOU ARE SENTENCED TO 40 YEARS IN PRISON! MR. HARTMAN?

Phil Hartman: I'm way ahead of ya, your honor. *takes Jason Biggs away*

Mario (one of the jurors): Ah-ha-ha! Maybe he-a will be the pie-a in the jail-a!

Rest of the jurors: *laugh*

JudgeTree: *BAM BAM* NEXT CASE: KASEY KAHNE.

*vroomvroomVROOM!!*

JudgeTree: MR. KAHNE, YOU HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH MURDER BY RUNNING OVER JEFF GORDON. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

Kasey Kahne: Ya'll supposed to be manditory haters or somethin'?

JudgeTree: I HAVE NO EMOTION, SO I DON'T HATE.

Kasey Kahne: Grrr... I'm guilty! Can I go home now?

JudgeTree: NO. MR. KAHNE, I ANNOUNCE YOU GUILTY... BUT YOU ALREADY SAID THAT, SO WHATEVER! YOU ARE SENTENCED TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR FOR FIRST DEGREE MURDER! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. MR. HARTMAN, TAKE HIM AWAY.

Phil Hartman: Boy, I'm glad I get paid a lot for taking criminals away, AND acting. Hey wait... I'm supposed to be dead.

SKY: *pops up beside him* You're cool, so you're alive in my imagination.

Phil HartMan: Thanks.

Announcer: When we return, Steven Tyler is charged with disrupting a town with noise! We'll be right back!