If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it. My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old Buick.
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> >My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging. Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cremes opened a shop in my neighborhood.! Air bag's? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.
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> >I have soooooo many miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when's the last time an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?
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> >My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
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> >My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.......either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
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roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao