Who would've thought you lot could talk so much!

Anyway, the other room was getting rather crowded, so we've given you a nice new area to play in.

Remember, the paint is still wet, please don't attempt to lick the walls, and general madness and mayhem is permitted!

Open to old and new residents alike, we want you all to enjoy the new surroundings.

Thank you ILMJN for those kind words. But you forgot to say that you declare the new Musings thread officially open!!

New paint eh? *sniffs* Maybe we'd better open some windows as I don't think it's too good for your health. Affects the brain (no worries there) but also the eyesight (a wee bit more worrying). :eek

For anyone feeling unwell or having sore eyes, use the following test to determine if your eyesight has been affected.



Welcome to the new Musings!!!

Helen : You're completely mad!!
Nikki : Are you mad?

AAAAAAh ~ So you are inferring that I should go out tonight as opposed to making that appointment for the Optometrist?? I just KNEW something was wrong as these are fairly new specs :rolleyes:

:lol: Unfortunately it is a self diagnosis chart so I cannot provide any advice whatsoever but it sounds a good idea!! :lol:

Yowza, I've gotta flit by in my new space craft and dirty the new thread up. I'll just leave a little muppet litter spread about so the paint smell won't be as noticable. Okay, I've done my duty and am on my journey. Ta Ta :ph43r:

I just knew something was up when everyone offered me all that money to go and buy sweets. I stood in the sweet shop, feeling sorry for you all so I thought I would spend all that money on sweets for you - I thought next time I'll get some for myself. But... :eek... when I got back with all those sweets, you had moved...!!! I stood in front of the old thread and I could see something was amiss. No sounds from any of the windows and even the roof appeared to be cracked. There was some skid marks in front of the thread, so my only guess was that you moved in a hurry.

But... I found you! *cue sinister drum roll*
I will always find you...

Uhum, so let's get this show on the road!

Wow, thought I was abducted there for a sec. Couldn't find my old muppet wing...turns out it was an optical auditory illusion and here be...

:cry1 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh boo hoo. You're already missed.

But Happy Trails to you kid...North Hollywood will do double duty now that West Hollywood has signed off...best of luck with all your doings....

And now from the California end of the mother road. After this, you drive into the Pacific Ocean. Farewell.

Time to play doctor-doctor. This is an actual x-ray, believe it or not.



My diagnosis is that some (not so bright) couple out there had a light bulb moment.

I'd rather not believe it. :o No thankyou.

Meanwhile back to that alien SA Minister....I'd read about here, but she can't be any worst than a idot president who's glad to be at OPEC conference when it's supposed to be APEC, and calls Austrialians Austrians in the next sentence...talk about bubble boy...the OPEC (oil producing economic council) really shows where his mind is...sad. Maybe that's his lightbulb which got lost. :eek

Why, thank you for THAT mental image, Ms Solano. And just as I was getting in to bed.

Button's definitely been abducted, hopefully by sister lezzie pirates from outer space rather than the boss at the office; the light has gone on for psychosofty; Kick*ss :getingroove C*ss must be lost in the moors; LahbibLover still can't get enough; aj57 has surfaced as ghostwriter for missing in the tropics CBG; Lisa isn't waiting for her bday to come age; Route has driven off the end of her mother road into the wide ocean; song_stress was dropped from the sky into muppet wing 2 (hopefully not by mistake and will be seen again); IloveMJnet cleaned up the playpen; I've been chained to my workstation in the gallows:::::::::::::: :pirate

Muppet Musings Part Deux!!

Doesn't look like much has changed. McSofty and Cassandra still posting weird piccies like mad. I will miss Route though. ss will be our only link to Hollywood now, when she can unchain herself (that's if she wants to).

I found this while surfing and thought if I had made Bad Girls, this is how I might have envisioned it...

http://www.penguinsbehindbars.ca/index.php?go=trailer

Made by Canadians, eh?

Hey, thanks for the nice new digs ILMJN!

I'm sorry for my absence. I know I've been a terrible Muppet... wait... that didn't come out right... I have not been holding my end up... No... that's not right either. :thought I've been absent and not living up to my muppetry obligations. :D

I have to admit that I rather enjoyed my recent trip with the aliens although I'd prefer it if we didn't discuss the anal probe in polite company - no matter how effective it might have been for communicating with the mother ship...

Seriously, life has been manic for me and will continue to be so for the next little while. From this Wednesday until the first week in November, I will be home alone for a total of 3 weeks. The rest of the time I will either have house guests, or I will be out of the country. I miss you all madly (yes, pun intended) and will continue to eavesdrop from work (posting is prohibited by my employer and yes, they check!) so try to be good... Wait... Try to be yourselves.

Route 66 all the best for your onward journey and we'll hope for the occasional visit.

Ciao, Muppets!

Sorry guys, I was slightly detained for a while, but seeing I am still ever so slightly still on the run I can just pop in quickly and tell you what has happened to me so far.

You see I had been asked to go and visit an Hospital to check out their systems (you know that techie thing I do) However, the powers that be forgot to tell me this particular hospital was a mental hospital, so when I got there they decided to give me a tour of the facilities. While still on the tour we came upon this small little room with a working bathtub, a bucket and a spoon. The bathtub looked so inviting with the steam slowly rising I silently wished I could just get in. I managed to get out of my trance and asked my "tour guide" what this room is used for. My guide then replied that this is one of the test rooms. You see they fill the tub and then give the person undergoing the test the opportunity to work out how to empty the tub with the things available. I of course looked back at the scene in front of me and said aloud (with out thinking- I should add) "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger.." but then my brain kicked in with force and I continued "however, I would first have a bath and then just pull the plug. But that's just me"

I didn't notice the evil grin on my "tour guide's"face during the first part of my sentence, but I did see the look of astonishment at the latter part of it. you see... they test everybody and most people choose the bucket which in turn fills up the hospital. However apparently they never had anybody that came up with the answer I gave and before I knew it I was drugged and under observation...I don't know quite yet how many days has passed and I'm still not sure if I really was running with monkeys or if that was just a bad dream.... sinning a duet with Elvis is also a fuzzy mess, I still shudder at the thought!!!

I'm lost. I have gone to look for myself, If I should I return before I get back, please ask me to wait!!

Okay Buttons. This is what we are going to do. Take a really deep breath and count to one hundred. That gives me plenty of time to run far away and hide! After that find a nice, quiet, darkened room somewhere and lie down for a couple of hours. The effects of your sedation should have worn off by then. Either that or the hospital will have caught up with you. Stay away from water at all costs. Who knows just what effect it might have on you.

Sorry microsofty, but I'm afraid I disagree with your diagnosis. That x-ray piccie looks more like its been doctored to me. But there are lots more uses for lightbulbs (or so I'm told). If you ever get attacked by a snake for example, they make a great decoy snack (see first piccie below).



Useful Wee Tip #1: Carry a couple of spare lightbulbs in your pocket in case of snakes.

Honestly you lot! I went away for 5 minutes yesterday and came back to find the playpen was a complete mess. I spent ages cleaning it up last night so didn't have time to post ... and do I get any thanks today? ... well? ... no .... not one! Though I do have one little confession to make. I threw out lots of crumpled napkins with scribbles all over them. Sorry CBG!!! Well! They looked just like rubbish to me!! How was I to know it was your latest N&H story? aj57 you are going to have your work cut out this time (assuming YOU are Deep Beta)!!

Though aj, if this is how you envisaged you would have made Bad Girls (see second piccie above) then maybe CBG had better cancel all those social engagements ...... Hmmm .... I'm guessing great trailer making and great composing is not what Canadians are renowned for then? Maybe one of those days I'll find just what they do do! If you know what I mean mean.

Sorry solitasolano, I didn't bring my bolt cutters today - no room you see once I'd packed my spare lightbulbs. Will try and remember them tomorrow though.

Oh and *waves to all the lurkers in the background* occasional visitors are welcome anytime.

Thanks Cass,I'd Love to join you I think that you all are nuts, BUT, I can only write well enough to say lots of thank yous and more please, on the fanfic boards. Speaking of fanfic please moe please thank you. :dazzler :dazzler :dazzler :dazzler lol

Nice to see you here, zena. But I wouldn't agree! Some of your thank yous and more please's are funny in themselves. Anyway, just for the record ... I am NOT nuts! It just so happens that nuttiness follows me around. *looks round warily* :rolleyes:

Buttons - wait!!!

Cass - I clicked on that link just now and it worked fine. Maybe it's only available in Canada or North America? Or maybe they knew you were coming?

Hi Zena - a word of warning, don't believe ANYTHING anybody says, except me, of course.

Don't Buttons float on water? I would look for other work if I were you, Buttons. Clearly your employee thinks that you are floating around on Cloud Coo-Coo if they send you on a "work mission" to a mental hospital. Just a thought, take it, don't take it.

Back to reality. Yesterday I was "out in the field" as we say, doing some fieldwork. A part of this involved that I had to consult with a particular difficult landowner who doesn't want the development crossing his property in any way. This guy has been known to chase engineers and the like of his property. So with this in mind, yesterday it was my turn to visit the guy - you can imagine how excited I was by the prospect of being chased out of someone's house.

Got there and it was... a (dirty) old man. Closer inspection revealed that he might be a candidate for some serious AA meetings. But the total downfall of my visit was the fact that the guy took an immediate liking to me! Meek as a lamb, putty in my hands. Scratch that last statement, it's a horrific thought. Any case, I had to visit his production factory (better not say what) and listen to the whole process. It was quite interesting, but when I took a closer look at something, that's when it happened... He placed his hand on my back and ever so slightly started to rub my back!!! :eek :puke :puke

The end. I'm still in shock. Remembering the incident makes it worse.

Right, I'm off to therapy.

Appropriate response all around...what did you write on your report of the visitation? I'm sure we can find a space station for you to hide out in next time...

Other than that I second your response... :eek :puke :puke

Just back from my therapist. We did some trauma debriefing. I feel better now. No, wait...

:puke :puke :puke :puke :puke :puke :puke :puke

Now a little bit, no make that loads of this:
:wine
and I should be fine.

Field Trips, Helicopter Rides, Free Back Massages, .....
Wow microsofty, is there's no end to the perks you receive in your job? Hmmm ... on second thoughts .... I'll scratch that last one (the free massage not your back) and third your response :eek :puke :puke

Have PLENTY to drink now, psycho. But just how do you know when you have swigged enough to erase your trauma? Well I guess you need to reach stage FIVE on the Muppet Drunk Scale. For those of you non-Muppets who are not as familiar with this scale .....

MUPPET DRUNK SCALE

Stage 1 - SMART This is when you instantly become an expert on everything known to mankind. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words....

Must have known I was clicking as it works fine now. I take back some of the stuff I've said about Canadians.

I went through stage 5 and had the 6 star hangover last night/this morning. Whilst hugging my porcelain saviour at 3.23am in the morning, I had flash backs to the puffy hand on my sleek back...

:eek :puke :eek :puke :eek :puke :eek :puke

The therapist said it would take time to heal.

The most embarassing drunk time I ever had I was only at level two. In the finance distrct in San Fran, the Tadtish grill. It was so busy we had to share tables. THe table WE shared was with the D.A of Oakland, I"d had six Margeritas too many. I was crying drunk and told him how to run his office (they were sober). To this day when I think of it I cringe.

Today is International Disturbed People's Day.

Please post an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... just as I've done.



I don't care if you lick windows, see dead people, or occasionally PEE yourself...

You hang in there sunshine,



you're Bloody special.

Sadly I don't float!!! I can't get it right at all...sink to the bottom in a flash!!Must be because I'm 60 % water or something like that and not full of hot air..!! ha ha ( I could mention a few who is - but that would just step on my disturbed friends toes) And I really really can't do that!!! :innocent

Sorry Softy!!! :innocent

The best way to get rid of unwanted hot air is to... to... to... to... fart in your face!

So here goes...

:muscles

Hmmm, I seem to be a bit constipated.

Ohh wait let me help you!!!!

:rofl *holds nose for obvious reasons*

Hmmm, think you also have to be round and kinda flat too!

Internationally Disturbed People's Day??? You're making things up again microsofty!! Ooop! Sorry I see now! I'm a little bit slow on the uptake sometimes. This is part of your therapy that you went to the other night, isn't it? So you were told to post a few encouraging messages to yourself to boost your self-esteem then? Okay we'll humour you as usual .....

Happy Internationally Disturbed People's Day to you too, psycho!! Keep taking the tablets. If nothing else, it makes us feel safe!! P.S. There are a few side effects to those tablets - plays havok with your insides!!!

I take it the DA didn't implement any of your wonderful ideas then, zena? Strange. Maybe he forgot? Hopefully he's forgotten your face as well by now!

What's that smell in here?

Cass, I think your post has gone off.

:silly

Help, what's the name of the wierd sounding Scottish soda? The aliens melted my mind and I can only remember something like Irn Bru :rolleyes: so something like that...no wait weightlessness did nothing new...I always was a bad speller (that's right, speller not smeller).

I'll ignore that remark, microsofty. :tongueout

Wow solitasolano, your memory is good .... so will overlook spelling and bad jokes just this once. Irn Bru is indeed that wierd weird sounding Scottish soda, famed as a hangover cure. Remind me to send some on to microsofty as part of her therapy. Oh and no need to thank me either, microsofty. I just know you'll appreciate it.

So now I'm thinking we should have got Buttons to compile her South African geography quiz after all. I'm sure you would have scored top marks there, solitasolano. In the meantime here is a whistle-stop aerial tour of Scotland in Winter. Watch carefully as I might ask questions later. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0b3SoYqqDQ)

And the moral of the story .... beware thirsty snowmen.

Three hoorays for the snowman! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!



I'm now more convinced than ever that Irn Bru is BAD for you. What mind altering stuff do they put in that drink?! Have a sip of the stuff and you go flying through the air with a snowman who tries to nick your drink. And the worst part of it all as that the *seemingly innocent* "soft" drink turns one in to a cartoon character! :eek

:thought Hmmmm. While the rest of us have to resort to some hard liquor to keep up with this thread, Ms Cassandra over there in her corner probably only takes a swig of Irn Bru...

Mommy, hold me, I'm scared of Aunty Cass! (There's a slight chance she might have a carrot for a nose. One that she can pop off - at that - to take a swig of Irn.)

PS Had to change my clothes. The blue hat was getting rather smelly.

Good golly, can we get some action in here?

Well I WAS waiting for you to actually say something funny, microsofty ..... but I'm getting a wee bitty impatient now so I'll just post anyway.

See? I told you she'd appreciate that Irn Bru I sent her. In fact looks like it's done you the world of good, microsofty. Your avatar is looking much, much brighter!!! And the air in this thread is definitely fresher.

Ha! Ha! Closer to the truth than you think, microsofty! *looks at giant pyramid of Irn Bru cans standing next to her monitor. Well I've always drunk Diet Irn Bru. Yes CBG (in case she is lurking), the DIET kind! But more recently I am definitely addicted to the stuff. I just can't get enough of it (though not as bad as my BG and board additions obviously!) ... and it is a wee bit worrying when I sometimes chose it in preference to alcohol which is NOT like me at all!! I'm sure it's okay in moderation but .... well, maybe it's time to seek professional help for my addiction. I don't want to end up like this upstanding senior citizen. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdDhW9Lwepc)

You drive a mean wheelchair there, Cass! Or is that aj57, which, I've only just realised, is a close call to ak47.

I think I had better say it was me .... before aj57 shoots me with her AK-47 Assault Rifle (the one she keeps for really pesky bunny rabbits). Or is there some other meaning for ak47 in your neck of the woods?

I hope you are not casting aspersions on my driving skills. I KNOW the safest way to drive cos I worked it out years ago. In fact logic is my middle name. Okay, not really .... but it might have been. Anyway I'm in a generous mood and am prepared to share my secret with you. *looks nervously behind and whispers*

The chances of being involved in a traffic accident is directly proportional to time you spent on the road. So if you drive fast then you must be spending less time on the road. According to official figures, only around one third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers. So more are caused by non-drunk drivers (two thirds, duh!). Therefore, the safest way to drive has to be drunk and VERY fast. :rolleyes:

Good golly miss micro, exactly my sentiment from the week gone by. Maybe the void on the muppet wing is an optical algorithm, an illusion you could talk to your therapist about. :thought But wait, isn't that what you're seeing your therapist about...the (unwanted) action you did get last week. To quote, :puke :puke :puke .

So where is everybody? Oh wait, it's the middle of the night someplaces herein.

For my action this wkend, we visited the famous Galco's Soda Store. I was in search of said Irn Bru, spelled in these states as Iron Brew(see I still can't spell). For the likes of me I couldn't find said orange brew...only found this in honor of a now long lost muppet who took her action with her (waves to Route).


I inquired of Mr Galco himself of the Scottish delight. No, I don't carry it. Yes, I do know of it...he then went on to say that the Scots won't send it to the US bec you have to be Scottish to appreciate it (did I spell that right? I'm not looking it up, bah humbug not Irn Bru). But then that turned out to be only some of the story...turns out Irn Bru is banned by the US FDA to be imported bec it contains badies...
The FDA website lists Irn-Bru and Diet Irn-Bru as containing the banned carcinogenic colouring Ponceau 4R, and Sunset Yellow FCF, which the FDA has to approve on a per-batch basis

Better be careful or go back to single malt. :soccer
See for yourself.

UNITED KINGDOM (GB)

MANUFACTURER/ PRODUCT/
SHIPPER PRODUCT CODE COLOR

A.G. Barr P.L.C. Diet IRU-BRU/29B[][]99 Non-Permitted
1306 Gallowgate IRN BRU (Orange Drink) Ponceau 4R and
Glasgow Carbonated/29B[][]02 Sunset yellow
United Kingdom 8/2/01 FCF (certifiable
FEI #100365935 as FD&C yellow #6)
http://www.fda.gov/ora/fiars/ora_import_ia4502.html

Oh dear, means we had to settle for some of the following soda instead.

That's right, rose soda.

I rest my case. The Irn has been bru'ing with your head, Cass. Flying snowmen, crazy ol' ladies on wheelchair scooters... :eek That's the stuff scared is made of.

SS, I don't see any South African drinks on that photo of yours. What happened to Sparletta Creme Soda?