One


Nikki Wade looked up the moment the curtains drew apart and all the agitation and anger she felt the past hour just faded away. Maybe getting stabbed was not so bad after all.

“So you’re the officer that got stabbed?” the woman entering the cubicle spoke in the most beautiful Scottish accent that Nikki thought she had ever heard.

“And you’re totally gorgeous…” Nikki replied smoothly with a huge grin plastered all over her face.

The woman seemed startled for a moment but continued as if she had not heard Nikki’s comment at all. “What happened?”

Nikki frowned a little but then smiled her most charming smile, deciding that this woman would be worth the hunt. “Bar fight that got out of hand…” Nikki replied shrugging her shoulders, forgetting about the rather deep slash on her arm, and wincing when she was reminded of her injury by a jolt of pain shooting up her arm.

“So she’s not as tough as she’s making herself out to be…” Helen Stewart thought as she turned away to hide her smile. She was just about to turn back when she heard officer Wades’ next words.

“How about I buy you dinner after your shift ends tonight.”

Helen realised that this woman was not going to give up. “I’m sorry officer but I don’t just allow anybody to buy me dinner especially not someone I hardly know…”

“But we can change that immediately. Hi, my name is Nikki Wade.” Nikki said holding out her hand.

Helen ignored the hand and leaned forward to look at Nikki’s injury. “Oh come on Doc, aren’t you going to introduce yourself?” Nikki sniffed the air appreciatively. “By the way you smell fantastic.”

“Is she giving you trouble Helen?” both women looked up startled when the blond woman who had stepped up behind them spoke up.

“You know me better than that Karen. I refuse to let annoying women get to me.” Helen smiled up at the other woman.

“I know but our Nikki here can be a handful sometimes.”

“Could you two please not talk about me like this. I’m still around you know…”

“Oh sorry, we hadn’t noticed.” Helen said resuming her task of stitching up Nikki’s arm.

Nikki frowned. She was not used to this attitude from a woman. Usually she had no problem in charming them of their feet but… she studied Helen openly for a few moments, this one was different, she seemed to be immune to her charm. Well, we’ll see about that Nikki thought, smiling a little.

Helen noticed Nikki Wade staring at her and she had to acknowledge the fact that it unnerved her a little. For a moment she thought about calling in a nurse to finish the job but then she noticed the small smile crossing Nikki Wades’ features and she decided that no matter what this woman said or did she was not going to give her the satisfaction of letting her realise just how much her words and stares were unnerving her.

“I’ll write you a prescription.” Helen said when she’d finished with Nikki’s arm and walked out of the cubicle not waiting for Nikki’s reply.

Karen started to laugh when she saw the look on Nikki’s face. “Not one of your usual pushovers is she?”

“Doesn’t seem that way, does it?” Nikki replied putting on her shirt and jacket, watching Karen Betts walking towards Helen.

###

“I’m sorry about Nikki’s attitude Helen…”

Helen looked up and smiled genuinely for the first time. “It’s okay Karen. I usually would not let it get to me but…”

“But it all was just to familiar, wasn’t it?” Karen said placing her hand on Helen’s arm.

Helen suddenly felt tears forming in her eyes. “Yeah…” was all she managed to say in return to Karen’s question.

“We should get together one of these days and catch up…” Karen said changing the subject.

“That would be great. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve got some time.” Helen smiled.

Nikki only managed to catch the last part of the conversation and frowned. “Hey Doc, what does she have that I don’t?”

“It’s what she doesn’t have that’s giving her the advantage…”

“Yeah and what’s that?” Nikki frowned over at Karen before turning her attention back to Helen.

“Your arrogance officer Wade…” Helen turned and walked away leaving a dumbfounded Nikki and a laughing Karen behind.

Two.

Karen was still smiling by the time they reached her car. Nikki looked at her and no matter how hard she tried she could not control her anger any longer.

“Just can’t stop laughing can you? I am so glad one of us finds this situation so amusing.” Nikki remarked sarcastically.

“Oh come on Nikki, you have to admit that it was pretty funny. It’s not every day that I get to see the unstoppable Wade charm in action and as a added bonus to that small pleasure see it being reduced to nothing with a few simple words.” Again Karen burst out laughing. “I’ve told you before that not every women you meet wants to be conquered by your charm…”

“Yeah I know, and now that it has happened you can’t wait to rub my face in it. By the way, how do you know the lovely doctor?”

“I met her one night at a club and we’ve been friends ever since.”

“Just friends…?” Nikki’s hand on Karen’s arm stopped her from opening the car door.

“Yes Nikki, we’re just friends.” She looked at Nikki for a long moment. “If you hurt her Nicola Wade I will personally kick your ass. Helen is special, don’t reduce her to one of your stupid conquests.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to be more than just her friend…?” suddenly Karen was furious. “You know what Wade. I think you can walk home tonight. The fresh air might make your bloody brain cells work for a change.”

Nikki watched dumbfounded as Karen got in her car and drove off, leaving her standing outside the hospital entrance.

“Oh well.” She thought. “Maybe walking home is not such a bad idea. Karen was right about one thing; she was definitely going to use the time to think.

By the time she reached her place she was tired and cold. Her arm was throbbing and she just wanted to lie down and get some sleep. Just before her eyes drift close a small smile crossed her lips when she realised that Karen was not going to be impressed at all when she finds out just about who Nikki had thought all the way back home from the hospital. She closed her eyes and again she saw those beautiful green eyes of the gorgeous doctor looking down at her. With the sound of Helen Stewart’s lovely voice in her ears she drifted of to sleep.

####

For the next few days Nikki’s thoughts were occupied with the case they were working on. She was part of task team that was formed after three gay women were found dead over the last couple of months. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that they were dealing with a serial killer who obviously enjoyed his inhuman acts towards these women. It was still early on in the investigation and the few leads they were following up at the moment were not producing much for them to work with. The killer seems to be one step ahead of them and he had a vast knowledge of forensics because he was not leaving any evidence at the scene of the crime. Only two things were left for them to find at every scene, the badly mutilated body of the victim and a single white rose.

At first they had thought that the rose would lead them somewhere but at all the garden centres where they had inquired they were told that it was of a fairly common variety which could be found in most rose lover’s gardens.

Nikki sighed and rubbed her arm absentmindedly. How did he pick his victims she asked herself for the umpteenth time? She knew if they could only figure that part out that they would be much closer to stopping him. The victims had nothing in common except that they were gay. They did not know each other or shared a mutual friend or acquaintance. They did not do the same work or lived in the same area. They didn’t even look alike. This freak was definitely out to slaughter gay woman, although Nikki felt that he was not your average homophobic idiot who just wanted to kill homosexuals. His crimes was to well planned and executed for that and the brutality of each murder showed them that they were dealing with a monster who would not stop until they find him. Karen Betts asking her a question interrupted her thoughts. “How’s the arm doing?”

“It’s fine. I have to go back to have the stitches removed tomorrow. I can’t wait to see the lovely doctor Stewart again…”

“Just remember what I said okay Nikki.” Karen looked at her intently.

“I’ll do my best but I’m not promising anything… we both know how distracted I get when I come across a beautiful woman and Helen Stewart is very beautiful, don’t you agree?” Nikki said innocently.

Three.

“You again…” Helen came to a standstill just inside the cubicle. “I knew that I should have stayed home today.”

“And miss seeing me again. Come on Doc, why don’t you just admit that this day could not have come to soon for you too and that you are happy to see me?”

“I see that nothing have changed since the other day…”

“Now how can you say that Helen? I come to you today as a healed woman.” She wiggled her arm at Helen. “See, no blood dripping this time…”

Helen turned away quickly and suppressed a smile. Nikki Wade had this annoying habit of making her want to smile and be angry at the same time. “I guess you’re here to have the stitches removed” she commented looking back at Nikki.

“Now why would you think that beautiful? I came here with only one purpose and that is to be near you again. Though I would be for always in your debt if you removed them too while I’m here.”

“Forever in my debt you say. How bout I make you a deal, I take out the stitches and you leave me alone…”

“Sorry gorgeous I can’t do that. Leaving you alone will break my heart not to mention the fact that it would leave you without ever finding out just what you would miss should I do as you ask.”

“And what just exactly will I be missing?” Helen asked while she worked at getting the stitches removed from Nikki’s arm.

“Dinner, Dancing, Flirting, not to mention Incredible Sex…” Nikki winched when Helen tugged rather hard at one stitch. “Ouch, that hurt…” she eyed Helen. “You did that on purpose.”

“Now what would make you think that officer Wade? I’m a professional woman and I would never let any of my feelings guide me into doing something like this.” she smiled sweetly at Nikki. “But if I did perhaps let my personal feelings get in the way this one time I’m sure you would agree that you deserved it after a statement like that, and in any case it what makes you think that I’d be even remotely interested in having a sexual relationship with a woman?”

“Just a feeling I guess…” Nikki shrugged and stared into Helen’s green eyes.

For a moment Helen looked back at her before lowering her eyes back to Nikki’s arm. “I do hope that you don’t rely on your feelings to much officer because yours are totally wrong.”

“Usually my feelings are spot on Doc. I have never went after a woman that was not interested before…”

“Well this time you’re wrong. I am not into women and I don’t date police officers.” Helen’s voice had become hard, she paused a moment before continuing. “So you’re wasting your time on me.”

“I don’t think so Doctor and it’s my time so I can waste it on whomever or whatever I want.”

“I agree, just as long as you stay away from me. I’m not going to fall for someone with a mile long reputation…”

“So you’ve checked up on me, and you tell me that you are not interested…”

Helen completely ignored the last statement and started to leave but Nikki grabbed her by the arm and swung her around. Before Helen knew what was happening
Nikki Wades’ lips were on hers and she felt herself being kissed by the dark haired woman. For a moment she was too stunned to do anything but stand there before she began to struggle and roughly pushed Nikki away.

Nikki knew that what she was doing was wrong but she couldn’t help herself. She felt Helen began to struggle and suddenly she found herself being pushed away. She saw the fury in Helen Stewart’s eyes and wanted to apologise but suddenly she felt the stinging blow against her cheek and she knew Helen had every right to have slapped her.

“Helen…” she was cut short by Helen Stewart’s angry words.

“If you ever do that to me again without my consent you’ll be sorry. I want you to leave and I don’t want to see you again, is that clear? I’m not one of your one night stands and like I’ve told you before I don’t date police officers.” She stopped for a moment before continuing. “Your arm looks good. It will be stiff for a while longer but you’ll find that it would be okay after some time. If it bothers you again tell Karen to give me a call and I’ll recommend a physical therapist that you can go and see…”

Nikki barely had time to nod before Helen turned on her heels and left. Again Nikki was stunned into silence by Helen’s reaction. She shook her head and touched her cheek that was still burning from the stinging blow Helen had delivered. She started to leave too but suddenly she realised something that made her stop in her tracks.

The fact that she is a woman is not bothering Helen nearly as much as the fact that she is a police officer. Nikki frowned. Maybe it was time for her and Karen to have a little talk…

Four.

Doctor Helen Stewart walked into her office and closed the door behind her firmly. Her thoughts were in turmoil. Having Nikki Wade around just brought back so many other feelings. Feelings of pain, of anger, of grief, she sat down behind her desk and silently mourned the things that she had lost not so long ago. She sat crying for a long time thinking of the past but eventually her thoughts turned back to officer Wade.
She couldn’t believe what had just happened in front of all those staring people. Again she silently cursed Nikki Wade. Her anger flaring again, pushing all other feelings aside for a while. She could not believe the arrogance of the woman. Even after everything she had said to her Nikki still turned around and kissed her. Helen closed her eyes for a minute. She could still feel her lips tingling from Nikki’s kiss. She frowned and touched her lips, realising that she had liked being kissed by Nikki more than she even wanted to admit to herself let alone to Nikki Wade.

####

Nikki immediately sought out Karen Betts when she arrived back at the office. Judging by the scowl on Nikki’s face Karen knew that her encounter with Helen had not gone as Nikki had planned.

“We need to talk Karen.” Nikki didn’t waste time on chitchat. “I need to know what Helen has against police officers?”

“And a good morning to you too Nikki.” Karen joked.

“Listen Karen I don’t have time for this. Just answer my question please.”

Karen looked at Nikki for a long moment before saying anything. Nikki watched her intently and she saw the emotions playing over Karen’s face. Karen frowned a little before making up her mind.

“Before I tell you anything I need to know if you’re serious about pursuing
Helen Stewart or if she’s just one of your many conquests. Do you really want a long term relationship with her or are you just going after her because she refuses to fall for your charm?”

Nikki thought for a moment. She could lie to Karen but in the end she would gain nothing out of that lie except maybe losing their friendship. “At the moment I really don’t know. I can tell you one thing though I am seriously attracted to that woman. From the moment she stepped into that cubicle at the hospital there was just that something about her that caught my attention. Every time I think about just walking away from her I get this feeling that pursuing her would in the end be worth my time and effort. Whether it is just to finally break her down and sleep with her or for something long term I just don’t know, but I need to do this Karen.”

Karen nodded her understanding. She knew Nikki and she also knew that what she was telling her was the complete truth. “Look Nikki I’m not really happy with that answer…” she held up her hand when Nikki opened her mouth to speak and continued “But I appreciate your honesty. Helen Stewart doesn’t have anything against police officers, she just don’t want to get involved with one again.”

Nikki looked stunned. “What are you saying? Not get involved with one again…”

“Helen was married to Anthony Owen. He was a police officer. It was before you joined us here but I am sure you read about his death. It made all the major newspapers. In any case I have never seen two people that happy. They lived for each other. They were so much in love. He was my partner and we got involved in this ugly drug related case. Anthony knew one of the kids that died and he made it his mission in life to track down the suppliers and bring them to justice. We were working it for about eight months when we finally caught a break. We were ecstatic. But our joy didn’t last very long. Anthony received the first letter telling him that he should back down from the case or there will be consequences a few days after the lead. At first we thought nothing of it. The treat only told us that we were close to finding the supplier. The next letter Anthony received had a picture of Helen with it. Instead of backing down we only pushed harder to find the mastermind behind the drug ring because we had no guarantees that they won’t harm Helen even if we stopped the investigation. Anthony decided not to tell Helen about the threat and I think that was his biggest mistake. She was an unsuspected target. One night we raided a warehouse and two days later Helen disappeared. When we eventually found her she was beaten up real bad and she had been raped. Anthony went mad. He wanted to kill every last one of them, but I convinced him that Helen needed him and that he should think of her welfare before anything else.

Our investigation died down a bit after that day. Helen was released from hospital and together they received counselling. Slowly but surely things were getting better. Eventually both Anthony and Helen went back to work. Anthony didn’t get home one night after work and we started a search for him. Two days later Helen answered the front door after a knock and she found him lying on the ground. He was badly beaten and his throat had been cut.”

“Oh poor Helen…” Nikki said in a thick voice, tears shining in her eyes as she thought of Helen.

“For a while there I thought we were going to loose Helen too. She withdrew from everything and anything. But eventually things got better although it took her almost four years to get where she is today.”

“And now I come along and with a few stupid words I bring back all the bad memories.”

Karen nodded. “Now you know why Helen puts you off every time you try to get near her. You remind her too much of Anthony. The two of you are so much alike. Same sense of humour, the same looks. He also tried to charm her of her feet the first time they met at the hospital when he got injured… She doesn’t want to open her heart up to a police officer ever again. Losing Anthony hurt too much, that’s why she’s pushing you away so hard. He also died around this time four years ago, so having you hit on her in the same way he did just reminds her to much of Anthony…”

“That explains a few things. I’m sorry Karen if I had known, I would not have come on so strong.”

“I know. But don’t you think you owe Helen this apology?”

“Believe me she’s going to get hers. Although I don’t think she wants me near her after what I did today.”

“What did you do?”

“I kissed her…”

“Shit Nikki…”

“Believe me I know how stupid I was, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

“What are you going to do now?” Karen asked. “Are you going to forget about Helen?”

“I don’t know. Forgetting her is not an option but I am going to back away. I refuse to be the one to hurt her again…”

“I’m sorry Nikki.” Karen placed her hand on Nikki’s shoulder. “Part of me wants to tell you to pursue Helen but another part just wants to protect her from all the pain falling for a police officer would cause her again.”

“Don’t worry I understand. Thanks for telling me Karen. I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me a thing Nikki. Whatever you decide to do just promise me that you will try your best not to hurt Helen. She’s been through so much and I won’t want her to go through all this again if you’re not sure how you feel about her…”

Nikki placed her hand on Karen’s arm. “Thank you for telling me and I promise to do anything in my power not to hurt her on purpose.

Four.

Doctor Helen Stewart walked into her office and closed the door behind her firmly. Her thoughts were in turmoil. Having Nikki Wade around just brought back so many other feelings. Feelings of pain, of anger, of grief, she sat down behind her desk and silently mourned the things that she had lost not so long ago. She sat crying for a long time thinking of the past but eventually her thoughts turned back to officer Wade.
She couldn’t believe what had just happened in front of all those staring people. Again she silently cursed Nikki Wade. Her anger flaring again, pushing all other feelings aside for a while. She could not believe the arrogance of the woman. Even after everything she had said to her Nikki still turned around and kissed her. Helen closed her eyes for a minute. She could still feel her lips tingling from Nikki’s kiss. She frowned and touched her lips, realising that she had liked being kissed by Nikki more than she even wanted to admit to herself let alone to Nikki Wade.

####

Nikki immediately sought out Karen Betts when she arrived back at the office. Judging by the scowl on Nikki’s face Karen knew that her encounter with Helen had not gone as Nikki had planned.

“We need to talk Karen.” Nikki didn’t waste time on chitchat. “I need to know what Helen has against police officers?”

“And a good morning to you too Nikki.” Karen joked.

“Listen Karen I don’t have time for this. Just answer my question please.”

Karen looked at Nikki for a long moment before saying anything. Nikki watched her intently and she saw the emotions playing over Karen’s face. Karen frowned a little before making up her mind.

“Before I tell you anything I need to know if you’re serious about pursuing
Helen Stewart or if she’s just one of your many conquests. Do you really want a long term relationship with her or are you just going after her because she refuses to fall for your charm?”

Nikki thought for a moment. She could lie to Karen but in the end she would gain nothing out of that lie except maybe losing their friendship. “At the moment I really don’t know. I can tell you one thing though I am seriously attracted to that woman. From the moment she stepped into that cubicle at the hospital there was just that something about her that caught my attention. Every time I think about just walking away from her I get this feeling that pursuing her would in the end be worth my time and effort. Whether it is just to finally break her down and sleep with her or for something long term I just don’t know, but I need to do this Karen.”

Karen nodded her understanding. She knew Nikki and she also knew that what she was telling her was the complete truth. “Look Nikki I’m not really happy with that answer…” she held up her hand when Nikki opened her mouth to speak and continued “But I appreciate your honesty. Helen Stewart doesn’t have anything against police officers, she just don’t want to get involved with one again.”

Nikki looked stunned. “What are you saying? Not get involved with one again…”

“Helen was married to Anthony Owen. He was a police officer. It was before you joined us here but I am sure you read about his death. It made all the major newspapers. In any case I have never seen two people that happy. They lived for each other. They were so much in love. He was my partner and we got involved in this ugly drug related case. Anthony knew one of the kids that died and he made it his mission in life to track down the suppliers and bring them to justice. We were working it for about eight months when we finally caught a break. We were ecstatic. But our joy didn’t last very long. Anthony received the first letter telling him that he should back down from the case or there will be consequences a few days after the lead. At first we thought nothing of it. The treat only told us that we were close to finding the supplier. The next letter Anthony received had a picture of Helen with it. Instead of backing down we only pushed harder to find the mastermind behind the drug ring because we had no guarantees that they won’t harm Helen even if we stopped the investigation. Anthony decided not to tell Helen about the threat and I think that was his biggest mistake. She was an unsuspected target. One night we raided a warehouse and two days later Helen disappeared. When we eventually found her she was beaten up real bad and she had been raped. Anthony went mad. He wanted to kill every last one of them, but I convinced him that Helen needed him and that he should think of her welfare before anything else.

Our investigation died down a bit after that day. Helen was released from hospital and together they received counselling. Slowly but surely things were getting better. Eventually both Anthony and Helen went back to work. Anthony didn’t get home one night after work and we started a search for him. Two days later Helen answered the front door after a knock and she found him lying on the ground. He was badly beaten and his throat had been cut.”

“Oh poor Helen…” Nikki said in a thick voice, tears shining in her eyes as she thought of Helen.

“For a while there I thought we were going to loose Helen too. She withdrew from everything and anything. But eventually things got better although it took her almost four years to get where she is today.”

“And now I come along and with a few stupid words I bring back all the bad memories.”

Karen nodded. “Now you know why Helen puts you off every time you try to get near her. You remind her too much of Anthony. The two of you are so much alike. Same sense of humour, the same looks. He also tried to charm her of her feet the first time they met at the hospital when he got injured… She doesn’t want to open her heart up to a police officer ever again. Losing Anthony hurt too much, that’s why she’s pushing you away so hard. He also died around this time four years ago, so having you hit on her in the same way he did just reminds her to much of Anthony…”

“That explains a few things. I’m sorry Karen if I had known, I would not have come on so strong.”

“I know. But don’t you think you owe Helen this apology?”

“Believe me she’s going to get hers. Although I don’t think she wants me near her after what I did today.”

“What did you do?”

“I kissed her…”

“Shit Nikki…”

“Believe me I know how stupid I was, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

“What are you going to do now?” Karen asked. “Are you going to forget about Helen?”

“I don’t know. Forgetting her is not an option but I am going to back away. I refuse to be the one to hurt her again…”

“I’m sorry Nikki.” Karen placed her hand on Nikki’s shoulder. “Part of me wants to tell you to pursue Helen but another part just wants to protect her from all the pain falling for a police officer would cause her again.”

“Don’t worry I understand. Thanks for telling me Karen. I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me a thing Nikki. Whatever you decide to do just promise me that you will try your best not to hurt Helen. She’s been through so much and I won’t want her to go through all this again if you’re not sure how you feel about her…”

Nikki placed her hand on Karen’s arm. “Thank you for telling me and I promise to do anything in my power not to hurt her on purpose.

It had been a few days since Nikki had seen Helen Stewart and in that time she had tried to come up with the right words to let Helen know how sorry she was for being such a complete shit to her. She had been to the hospital a few times but every time her courage had failed her. That annoyed Nikki to no end because she wasn’t a coward but she also realised that Helen would not appreciate her showing up at the hospital again and causing a potential scene. So, tonight she had decided that she was going to Helen’s house to try and talk to her. She figured that with any luck there would be no one to witness her humiliation and if her prayers were answered, Helen would not just dismiss her without first listening to what she had to say. It was very important to Nikki that Helen forgave her and that they will at least part as friends this time, because she had come to realise that she really liked the young doctor. Nikki took a deep breath before getting out of her car and walking the short distance to Helen’s front door.

#####

It only took a few moments for Helen to open the front door after the knock sounded. Her smile faded instantly when she recognised the woman standing before her. “What do you want?”

Nikki could hear the displeasure in Helen’s voice and her heart sank. This was going to be harder than she thought. She was just about to answer Helen back when the other woman spoke again. “What, the cat got your tongue… because that will be a first…”

“Yes…no…” damn this was not how she planned it. Nikki frowned and tried again.
“I mean…” She took a breath to settle her nerves and started again. “I wanted to talk to you and wondered if you’ll spare me five minutes of your time…?” Nikki stopped when she heard a voice calling from the other room.

“Helen… who’s at the door?” The voice sounded familiar to Nikki, but it was only when Helen called back using the other person’s name that Nikki realised who it belonged to.

“Karen Betts are here with you?”

“Not that it’s any of your business but yes she’s here. If you have something to say to me I suggest that you get it over with before we both freeze to death out here.”

“I just wanted to say that kissing you the other day was a huge mistake and that you don’t have to worry about me bothering you again. I was just having some fun by teasing you a bit.” Nikki paused a moment before adding. “Say hi to Karen for me.” she turned and walked away leaving a rather angry Helen behind.

#####

Helen was still seething when she entered the room where Karen sat waiting for her.

“So who was it at the door?”

“Nikki Wade…” Helen scowled.

“And what did she want?”

“She just dropped by to tell me that kissing me the other day was a mistake and that she won’t be bothering me anymore. Apparently she was just having some fun at my expense, I don’t know why she even bothered to come by…”

“She came by to apologise to you and when she heard that I was here she changed her mind.”

“I think you’re wrong. Why would you being here make such a big difference? She could still have apologised if she really wanted to and then left.”

“Nikki Wade left because she’s jealous Helen. She thought that I was here because I were pursuing you as a potential romantic interest…”

“You have to be kidding. You’re one of my best friends…”

“Yes but Nikki doesn’t know that. By saying to you what she did I think she’s trying to protect herself from getting hurt because I think she feels more for you than she is willing to admit even to herself.” Karen watched Helen carefully, trying to figure out how she would feel about Nikki being interested in her, seeing that Nikki were both a woman and a police officer.

“Don’t look at me that way. I have no problem with Nikki, the woman pursuing me. It’s Nikki, the police officer that I don’t want to get involved with…”

“So you’re telling me that entering into a relationship with a woman is not what is scaring you off at the moment?”
Helen sighed. “There is something you don’t know about me Karen. I’m bisexual…”

Karen looked at Helen for a moment and Helen noticed that she didn’t look to shock by the revelation before she said. “I guessed as much but did Anthony know?”

“Yes he did. I told him one night after he saw me being kissed by another woman. At first he was confused and hurt. He left and I had no hope of him ever coming back but then one evening there was a knock on my front door and when I opened it he was standing there. He told me that he had had time to think about what I had said and that he thought we should talk some more about it. Over the next few months we saw each other almost everyday and then one day he told me that he loved me and asked me to marry him. I had fallen in love with him by that time and I agreed.”

“But didn’t he always wonder if you would prefer someone else…?”

“In the beginning he might have but then one night at a party we met up with an old friend of mine. She quickly made it clear that it didn’t bother her that I was married now and she tried to persuade me to meet her somewhere the next day. She even kissed me and I think that did it for me. I realised just how deeply I loved Anthony and that I would and could never be unfaithful to him. He had somehow managed to capture my heart completely. I said as much to the woman. She left and it was only when I turned to leave the study that I found out we had not been alone in there. My husband had been sitting in one of the chairs the whole time and he had heard everything.

His face was expressionless and I had no idea what went through his mind at that moment. The only thing I could think about was that I was going to loose him. He slowly got up and walked towards me. We stood there looking at each other for a long time before he finally spoke. He asked me if what I had told Joan were the truth and I said yes. I told him that I would not betray him as long as we were together, not with another man or a woman. I told him that I loved him with all my heart. He simply nodded and pulled me into his arms. You know how happy we were and how much loosing him hurt me.”

“I know. I told Nikki as much the other day when she wanted to know why you keep on pushing her away.”

“You told her about Anthony?”

“Yes I did, and I hope you will forgive me but she demanded to know what you have against police officers.”

Helen nodded slowly. “Even if Nikki wasn’t a police officer Karen I think I would still be fighting off her attentions. She just reminds me too much of Anthony. The way she came on to me at the hospital, it was like I had encountered Anthony all over again. If I had closed my eyes at that moment I could pretend that it was his voice I heard saying those things to me and not Nikki’s. With all the similarities between them I’m not sure that I will be able to separate the two and that would not be fare to Nikki at all. And then, she is a police officer and I don’t think I could go through it all again. The worrying if she would be coming home everyday, the danger I would be in simply because I am associated with her…” Helen went silent. “I just can’t Karen. I just can’t allow myself to fall for Nikki Wade…”

“Sometimes love is worth the risk and the pain Helen. Don’t throw away something that could be very special just because you are scared. Anthony would not have wanted you to cut yourself of completely; he loved you too much for that. He would have wanted you to be happy Helen and I think Nikki can make you very happy. To love someone is an act of bravery and you have never struck me as a coward…”

Karen had left soon afterwards, knowing that she had given Helen a few things to think about. She just hoped that Helen would make the right decision.

####

Helen sat in front of the fire deep in thought. She had a lot of things to think about. Could Karen be right? Will she be throwing away something special just because she is afraid to take a risk? Did Nikki Wade really come here tonight to apologise or was tonight just one more step in her plan to try and get Helen into her bed by pretending that she was not prepared to chase after her anymore? Did she really even care that Nikki had given up on her? She stared into the fire for some minutes before her brow furrowed. A part of her was telling her to invite Nikki Wade into her life with open arms, should she still be interested in her, but there was another part that was telling Helen to just let it go and to forget about Nikki. It was telling her to run as far away from the dark haired woman as she could because a relationship with her would mean only heartache and danger.

Helen must have fallen asleep in front of the fire because when she woke up the sun was shining outside. She tried to sit up and winced. Her body was stiff and sore from sleeping on the ground. She was just about to get up to get ready for work when she realised that it was Saturday and that she didn’t have to be at the hospital that morning. She dragged her tired and aching body to her bedroom and fell asleep instantly the moment her head touched the pillow. Basic



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 62
Location: South Africa




Adilp Posted: 01 Aug 2005 11:41 am

:jesta Six.

Nikki Wade was not a happy woman. Not only was this case driving her up the walls but she had also mucked up the whole Helen Stewart thing. How could she have been so stupid? She should have just walked away when she had heard that Helen had company, but no not her, she had to open her big mouth and put her foot in it again. Now she had no hope of Helen listening to her ever again and she only had herself to blame for that.

She looked up from the files when she heard Karen’s voice down the hall. What was she doing here? Then Nikki remembered that she was the one who was not supposed to be there today. It was her weekend off, but this morning after a restless night in which she had gotten very little sleep she had decided that she might as well come in and try to focus on the case instead of sitting at home and feeling sorry for herself. She moaned when she saw Karen enter the office and heading straight for her desk.

Karen didn’t even greet Nikki but got right to the point. “I told you to apologise to her not insult her again. What the hell happened last night?”

“What happened between Helen Stewart and myself has got nothing to do with you, but you didn’t waste time to push your way back into her life again, did you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about you being at Helen’s place last night. What were you doing there?”

“Actually it’s none of your business Nikki but I’ll tell you anyway. Helen called me up yesterday afternoon and asked me to come by her place on my way home from work to join her for dinner. Seeing how we are old friends I agreed and we had a wonderful time until you came by.”

“I spoiled your plans for later on, did I?”

“Oh don’t be stupid Nikki. I love Helen as a friend but I’m not in love with her. Maybe you would have noticed it last night if you had just guarded your mouth and had told her that you were sorry for everything, but no, you have to jump to stupid conclusions, that in the end just mucked everything up where Helen’s concerned. I’m going to give you some good advice and for once I really hope you are going to listen to me. Helen Stewart is as confused about her feelings for you as you are about yours for her. Go over to her place later today and this time apologise like you were supposed to do last night and just maybe if you’re lucky she might let you into her life.”

Nikki looked at Karen for a long time before asking. “Why are you doing this?”

“I really don’t know at the moment. Maybe because I hope that you will be good for Helen and that you might have it in you to make her happy again, but Nikki don’t expect any sympathy from me if you bugger this up again. And don’t hurt Helen, are we clear on that?” Karen had taken hold of Nikki’s arm and held it in a vicelike grip, her voice a warning.

Nikki looked down at her arm and then back up at Karen before replying. “Yes…” she hissed before walking away.

Seven

It was the second time in less than twenty-four hours that Nikki found herself standing in front of Helen Stewart’s door. She was more than a little nervous because she had no idea how Helen would respond to her being there again. She took a deep breath and knocked. This time it only took Helen a few moments to open the door. The smile on her face faded the moment she recognised Nikki and the dark haired woman’s heart sank.

“You again…” Helen definitely didn’t sound pleased to see her. “I don’t have time for this.” she started to push the door close but Nikki stopped her by placing her foot in it’s path. “What do you think you are doing?” Helen demanded with an angry frown.

“I’m trying to keep you from closing the door before I get a chance to tell you why I’m here. Please Helen, just give me a few minutes of your time… it’s important…”

“What could you possibly have to say to me that is so important that it would warrant my time…?”

Nikki looked away and Helen thought for a moment that she had changed her mind and was going to walk away. But then she cleared her throat and began to speak. “I came here to apologise for being such a complete ass to you.”

“Why do you even think I’d be interested in an apology from you?” Nikki groaned inwardly, Helen was not going to make this easy for her but she could not really blame her after the way she behaved towards her.

“Because you’re a wonderful woman and a very talented doctor who deserves to be treated with respect and not the way I have treated you since the moment I first met you.” Nikki paused and Helen raised an eyebrow. “Go on I’m listening…”

For the first time during the conversation Nikki had hope that Helen might actually accept her apology. “I am truly sorry for what I did and said to you. It was utterly unprofessional of me and I hope you will be able to forgive me. As for last night I have no excuse for behaving the way I did and saying those things to you. It is none of my business as to whom you let into your life and I probably ruined a great evening for both of you. I promise that it won’t happen again…”

Helen looked at Nikki for some time before speaking. “Maybe I over reacted a little too but it does not excuse what you did. Kissing me in front of a whole hospital full of people may be your way of making a statement but it is something that I do not appreciate. As for Karen being here, we are only friends and you’re right it is none of your business what she was doing here.” She paused and then added slowly. “I accept your apology officer Wade and I hope that our future dealings with each other will be more pleasant and that you would behave yourself around me.”

Nikki could not believe her luck. Having Helen accept her apology was more than she could hope for at the moment. Her face brightened and she held out her hand. “Friends…?”

Helen looked at the hand offered to her. “I don’t believe we’re quite there yet
Miss Wade, let’s just call it a truce for now.” She said before taking Nikki’s hand in her own.

Eight

Karen Betts came running into the room. “They found another victim Nikki and this one’s still alive. She’s on her way to the hospital now.”

“Let’s go…” Nikki jumped up and grabbed her jacket. Although she hated the fact that another woman had been brutally attacked she could not help to feel hope rise up in her that maybe now they would be able to find out who was doing all this.

“Do you think she’ll make it?” She asked Karen while they were driving towards the hospital.

“I have no idea, but I hope so. Not only because she didn’t deserve what that bastard did to her but also because we need a break in this case.”

“You know Karen I still believe that it could be a police officer that is doing this.”

“You know that it didn’t go down well when you suggested it the other day.”

“I know that no one wants to believe that a fellow officer is capable of such horrific deeds but I just can’t seem to shake the feeling. Who ever are doing this manages to stay ahead of us every step of the way. And in my opinion there could only be a few reasons for that. 1. He is very clever and has a vast knowledge of forensics; maybe he has a job that somehow connects him with law enforcement. 2. He is a police officer with intimate knowledge of the investigation or 3. He is very lucky. And some how I don’t think luck has anything to do with it.”

“I tend to agree with you Nikki but I think we should keep our ideas to ourselves for the moment judging the reaction it caused the last time. Maybe the two of us can look into it a little more privately and see what we can come up with, but first we have to concentrate on the victim. She may be our only hope to solve this before too many other young women dies.”

#####

Helen Stewart looked down at the woman that was just brought into the ER accompanied by two police officers. For a moment she wondered how something so bloody and injured could still hang on to life. One of the officers approached her.

“Please doctor, you have to do everything in your power to keep her alive until we can talk to her.”

Helen looked at him and frowned. “I will do my best to keep her alive period officer, not just so that you can talk to her. Now if you’ll please leave…”

“You don’t understand doctor. We believe she may be a victim of the “White Rose Killer”. So, as you can imagine it is crucial that we get to speak to her. She might have information that is vital to us.”

Helen nodded. “I’ll try my best, but I’m not promising anything.”

#####

Nikki and Karen arrived at the hospital just in time to receive the news that the young woman had died a few moments ago. “Did she say anything on her way here?” Nikki demanded to know. She found it hard to hide her disappointment.

“Nothing, I stayed with her the whole time until the doctor arrived to work on her.” one of the officers replied.

“Is it possible that she might have said something to him?” Karen asked hopefully.

“Her you mean? I don’t know. She might have if she regained consciousness…”

“Okay thank you officers, we’ll take it from here. Just give us the doctor’s name and we’ll talk to her.”

“It’s Helen Stewart…”

Nikki and Karen looked at each other. Having Helen involved in this was the last thing they wanted.

#####

Helen Stewart was sitting in her office. She closed her eyes for a moment trying to block out the image of the dying young woman lying on the table before her but she did not succeed. She again experienced the smell of burning flesh mixed with the coppery smell of the blood that covered the body. The woman was missing a leg and the stump was burned at the end to keep her from bleeding to death. Her face had been shredded to pieces and there was a knife stuck in her chest. Silent tears slid down Helen’s cheeks. As a doctor working in the emergency room of a very busy city hospital she has seen quite a few horrific things in her career but nothing could prepare her for what she witnessed tonight.

There was a knock on her office door and she quickly whipped her tears away before inviting the person in. Her eyes widened when Nikki Wade walked into the room closely followed by Karen Betts.

Nine

Nikki immediately noticed that Helen had been crying and she longed to take her in her arms to comfort her. She knew how much she was affected when she saw the killer’s first victim and she could just imagine how it must have affected Helen. “Are you alright?” she asked gently and Helen stared at her a moment before nodding. “Yeah I’m okay.”

“I’m sorry you had to see this…”

“I’m a doctor. I see horrible things everyday, but the brutality of it all it was shocking.” Helen’s voice became a little unsteady.

“There is nothing to prepare you for something like this.” Nikki said softly.

“She was tortured… one of the officers said that she might be another victim of
“The White Rose Killer” is that true?”

“Yes we believe she was.” Karen who was watching both Helen and Nikki closely spoke for the first time. “What we actually wanted to know from you is if she regained consciousness at all while you tried to save her life?”

“Only briefly. She tried to say something but it was hard to make out her words. She said something about a bar and meeting a woman there but the rest was nothing more than just babbling although I thought she said something about a man waiting outside but I can’t be sure. I hope this will help you.”

“It’s more than what we had before. We’ll check it out and see what we can come up with.” Nikki said but then she paused. “Helen maybe it will be a good idea if you and your staff stay quiet about the fact that she regained consciousness at all. The killer might think that she said something to one of you that could lead us right to him and I would hate to see the same thing happen to one of you…”

#####

Karen ventured a sideways glance at her partner. “You are very quiet.”

“Sorry…” Nikki smiled. “I was miles away.”

“Thinking about a certain doctor?”

“Yeah and also the case. Karen, what if we have been looking at this the wrong way. We have always just presumed that this guy was stalking them. Let’s just say for argument sake that what Helen heard was correct, that she met some woman at a bar and when they went outside he already waiting.”

“That could mean that there might be a second victim out there somewhere…”

“Or that this woman may be working with our killer. What if she was the one that went into the bar, picked up the victim and then brought her outside to the killer?”

“But there is no evidence to suggest that there are two people involved in this.”

“There is very little evidence to begin with. The woman may not participate in the actual killing but she might know what the killer is doing and helping him to acquire is victim. Think about it Karen... The victims are all gay young women. They will not go into a bar and leave with a man they don’t know, but if a woman came on to them and if they find her attractive that changes everything.”

Ten

Nikki Wade watched the woman approaching through the glass enclosure that was separating her direct superior’s office from the rest of the room. As she watched she saw Helen Stewart being stopped and talked to by almost everyone around. She dropped the file she was holding onto Malcolm’s desk and closed the door behind her on her way out. She was just in time to hear the question that Charles Langley was asking Helen. “Are you here for just a visit or are you looking for someone in particular Helen?”

Helen smiled warmly while her eyes kept drifting around the room until they settled on the person she had been looking for. “Why don’t we just say it’s a little bit of both Charles.” She pushed away from his desk and started to walk towards Nikki. “If you’ll excuse me I think I’ve found her…”

She stopped a few steppes away from Nikki and smiled. “Detective Wade. Is it possible for us to talk in private for a moment?”

Nikki nodded and motioned for Helen to follow her. When they reached their destination Nikki turned towards Helen and waited for her to tell her what his was all about.

“It seems stupid for me to bother you with this…” she hesitated not sure if she should continue.

“Look Helen let me be the judge of that. You obviously felt unsettled enough by whatever has occurred to come her and talk to me and that tells me a lot. Why don’t you tell me why you are here and let me decide whether or not you are being foolish?”

Helen looked away for a moment before speaking again. “One of the nurses that were working with me in the ER has not shown up for work these past two days and she is not at her home either. The hospital has sent someone over there to check already. I normally would not be bothering myself with it but she was one of the nurses on duty when Mary White came in the other day.” Mary White was the latest victim of the serial killer that was targeting gay women throughout London. “And you said that we should be careful…”

“I know. You’re not being foolish about this Helen.” Nikki had placed her hands on Helen’s shoulders and she was looking her directly in the eyes. “Why don’t I follow you back to the hospital so that you can give me all the information you have on this nurse and I’ll see what I can do?” she laughed when she saw relieve flooding Helen’s face. “You really did think I was going to think you foolish for being concerned?”

“Everybody else at the hospital thought I were.” Helen said softly, dipping her head.

“Hey look at me?” Nikki used one of her hands to lift Helen’s chin. “I am not everybody else…”

Helen nodded slowly. “I’m beginning to realise that Detective Wade.”

####

It was already dark outside when Nikki returned to the hospital. She walked down the corridors and nodded in the direction of Helen’s secretary when she passed her desk. The woman smiled at Nikki and indicated that she could go right in. Nikki smiled back and watched the woman leave with a soft goodbye.

The soft knock brought Helen out of her revelry and she managed a small smile when she saw who was entering her office. “Don’t you ever go home Doctor Stewart?” Nikki asked quietly.

“Sometimes…” she looked at Nikki expectantly. “Did you find her?”

“As a matter of fact I did. I found her shacked up with her boyfriend in his flat. I told her that she should let you guys know next time when she plans to ditch work without letting people know where she is and she told me in no uncertain terms that I should tell you to shove the job. Apparently what happened the other night spooked her more than a little and she has decided to look for another job. I told her that I would relay the message but that she should come and see you on Monday to discuss this with you.” Nikki just managed to keep herself from laughing out loud when she saw the angry expression cross Helen’s face.

“I really hope she’s going to come by on Monday. I would love to give her a piece of my mind.” she smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry that I wasted your time with this.”

“Don’t be. I quite enjoyed it after having to deal with this serial killer for the past months.” Nikki hesitated for a moment not sure if what she was about to do was the right thing. “Anyway it will not be a total waste if you would agree to have dinner with me tonight.”

“I don’t know…” Helen began but Nikki interrupted her. “Come on Helen. It’s late and we both have to eat anyway. I promise that I will behave, and that I won’t do or say anything that you don’t want me to. Please say yes…” she added softly.

Helen looked at Nikki for a moment longer before nodding her head. “Alright, but I’m keeping you to your promise.”

####

They sat opposite each other in the dimly lit restaurant waiting for their order to arrive. From the greeting Nikki had received from the owner when they had first entered it was obvious to Helen that they knew each other quite well. For a moment she wondered if Nikki brought all her girlfriends here but then she chastised herself mentally for even allowing the thought. Nikki Wade was a very beautiful woman and her love life had nothing to do with her. She definitely wasn’t Nikki’s girlfriend and she had brought her here.

They had been talking in general but Helen could not help to wonder about the person Nikki Wade was when she dropped this act of charming police officer. She waited until their food arrived and decided to ask. “Tell me about yourself?” she saw the startled look on Nikki’s face before she quickly replaced it with a smile and added. “I want to know the real Nikki Wade not the cop and definitely not the womaniser, who thinks every woman should fall at her feet when she uses her charm on them.”

“Oh Helen, I’m hurt. How on earth could you think that about me?” she watched Helen’s expression and held up her hands in mock surrender. “On second thought maybe you should not answer that.” She sat back in her chair and looked at Helen intently. “Okay, let’s see. I was born here in London. My parents send me of to boarding school as soon as they could but they later regretted it when I was found in a closed classroom kissing another girl. I was immediately brought back here where they refused to listen to a word I had to say and disowned me when I told them that I am gay. Other than that there isn’t much to tell.”

“I don’t believe you. Why did you join the police force?” Helen saw Nikki’s expression change for a moment before she smiled again.

“Like everybody else who join I wanted to make a difference.” Helen didn’t believe that answer for a moment but decided not to push her at that point.

“How about girlfriends? Is there someone special at the moment?”

“No. I’ve been dating but there is no one special.”

“But there was, wasn’t there?” Helen said softly.

Nikki looked at her for a moment before answering. “Yes…” she said slowly.

“What happened?”

“She left me…” was all that Nikki said. It was quiet for a long while before Nikki broke the silence. “Tell me about yourself?”

Helen looked at her startled. “I’m sure you have heard all there is to hear.”

“It doesn’t matter what I have heard, I want you to tell me.”

So Helen told her and by the time she had finished both women realised that it was quite late. Nikki smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry I kept you so late Helen.”

“Don’t worry about it.” she smiled back at Nikki.

“Come on I’ll take you home.” Nikki took out money while thanking the owner for their lovely meal but he waved away any attempts of payment.

“Dinner is on the house Nikki. It’s good to see you in here with a beautiful woman again, being happy. That is payment enough for me.”

Both Nikki and Helen blushed all be it for different reasons before Nikki leaned over and kissed the old man’s cheek. “Thank you my friend.” She said softly and then she took Helen’s arm and steered her out the door.

#####

They were standing in front of Helen’s front door. She had just unlocked it and had turned back to Nikki. “Do you want to come in?” her voice was soft and inviting.

Nikki swallowed hard. If Helen only knew how much she wanted to come in at that very moment but she took a step back and shook her head. “Better not. I might break my promise from earlier tonight.” She lifted her hand and softly cupped Helen’s cheek in her hand. “I can’t remember when I last enjoyed an evening this much Helen, thank you.”

“You’re welcome Nikki. I enjoyed it just as much. Thank you for inviting me…” she saw Nikki take a step closer and watched as she bend her head towards her. Helen closed her eyes and waited for Nikki’s lips to touch her own. She could feel Nikki’s breath against her lips. Then suddenly she felt the soft lips touch her brow and when she opened her eyes in confusion Nikki Wade was gone.

Eleven

The next day a bunch of flowers was delivered at the hospital for Helen Stewart. When she read the card she couldn’t help the warm glow that spread through her body.

Helen

Thank you for a wonderful evening. I’m looking forward to spending many more pleasurable hours in your company in the future.

Thinking of you, always.

Nikki

Helen smiled when she finally closed after having read it several times over. “You and me both Nikki.” she murmured to herself.

She could not believe how one evening spent in Nikki Wades company could change her perception of the young woman so easily, but it had happened. Where she had first thought her to be annoying and arrogant she now saw her as being vulnerable, compassionate and funny. Someone that she would like to get to know better and maybe even someone with whom she could fall in love with again…

Helen sighed. Only time will tell and that was one thing she really hoped she and Nikki Wade had a lot of.

####

“I really do think that this is the right thing to do Karen.” Nikki said trying to convince Karen Betts to go along with her plan.

“I don’t agree Nikki. What you want to do is going to get both of us into trouble not to mention the fact that it is also very dangerous to begin with.”

“Maybe, but it is the only way for us to get this guy and you know it. Apart from this lucky break that we got from the girl who survived the attack on her long enough to tell Helen what she did, we have nothing new to go on. This is our only lead at the moment and I am not prepared to sit back and let it go to waste Karen.”

“I’m not suggesting that we do that Nikki. I’m only saying that we should at least tell Andrews what we plan to do…”

“You know as well as I do that he won’t follow this up without discussing it at length with his immediate superiors. It would take ages for them to decide what to do and in the mean time more women will die.” Nikki looked at Karen pleadingly. “Please Karen, I need your help with this. We owe it to these women to stop this lunatic once and for all.”

“I agree with you on that Nikki but I’m still not convinced that following this up without the proper backup is the right thing to do. What happens if this work and you do actually get picked up by this guy and his accomplice and I can’t get to you fast enough?”

“Then I’ll die knowing that at least we tried our best and did everything we could to stop this maniac.” She went silent for a moment when she saw the expression that crossed Karen’s face. “I’m sorry, I know how it sounds but I really need to do this Karen. It is my job as a police officer to do what ever I have to, to make sure that this guy is caught, even if I have to give up my life in the process…”

Karen looked at Nikki for a long moment before she sighed. “Okay I’ll help you but I still think that not involving Andrews and the rest of the team are a big mistake.”

“Thank you.” Nikki placed her hand on Karen’s shoulder. “I tell you what, let’s see what we find out and if it turns out to be a solid lead then you can tell Andrews about it, okay?”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yes it is.”

Twelve

Karen knew that she had to talk to someone about this even if she had promised Nikki not to tell Andrews or anyone else on their team. Nikki really still thought that the killer could be a police officer and was not prepared to give up their only lead in a long time to just anyone.

Karen knocked on the door and waited for it to be answered. When Helen opened the door she immediately smiled and gestured for Karen to enter.

“Hi Helen, I hope I am not interrupting something?” Karen apologised.

“Not at all Karen, besides you know you’re always welcome.” Helen got them both something to drink and they chatted for a while.

“How is the investigation going?”

“That’s actually why I came here. I need to speak to someone about it, but I can’t talk to anyone on the team…”

“Not even Nikki?”

“Especially not Nikki…” Karen’s harsh reply brought a frown to Helen’s brow.

“You know I won’t repeat anything you tell me Karen. I know how sensitive an investigation like this can be…”

“I know. Its just…” she hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Nikki has got it in her head to go after this guy alone.”

“What…” Helen was shocked. “Is she crazy? She of all people should know what this monster is capable of…”

“Believe me she knows and that’s exactly why she has got it into her head to stop him.”

“But why not involve the rest of the team?”

“Nikki has got this hunch that the killer might be a cop because he seems to stay one step ahead of us all the time.”

“So she doesn’t trust her colleagues. What do you think Karen?”

“I don’t know Helen. What Nikki is saying is making a lot of sense but I also think that this thing is going to backfire on us. A lot of things can go wrong with her plan. What if the killer picks her up and I can’t get to her on time?”

Helen’s face went very pale and her voice was a little shaky when she spoke again. “Is… is… there anything that I can do to help?”

“At the moment, no, but having somebody to talk to about this does help a lot right now.” she frowned and looked at Helen more closely. “What’s wrong Helen?”

“Nothing…” Helen started to say.

“You’re suddenly very pale. Helen, is something going on between you and Nikki that I’m not aware of?”

Helen made a visible effort to pull herself together. “We had dinner together the other night and I have spoken to her on the phone every night since then. We’re going out again tomorrow evening.”

“You’re falling for her, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I think so.” Helen replied softly.

“I see, all the more reason for me to try and talk some sense into her. What she plans to do has the potential to hurt a lot of people.”

“Do you really think talking to her would help?”

“No I don’t. She’s got this crazy plan in her head and if I don’t help her she’ll attempt this without backup and get herself killed in the process.”

“Then as your friend I am begging you to help her. Please do everything in your power to keep her safe.”

####

“Nikki, I still think this is crazy.” Karen tried for the last time to change her friend’s mind. “Think about what you are about to do and how dangerous it can be.”

“I know how dangerous this can be Karen but I am not changing my mind.”

“If you don’t want to think about yourself then think about the people that will be left behind. Think about Helen?”

Nikki immediately froze when Karen mentioned Helen’s name. “What does Helen have to do with this?” she asked.

“I’ve spoken to her the other day. She told me about you having dinner together…”

“What is going on between Helen and myself is private Karen. It does not involve you…”

“It does when your actions have the potential to hurt her very badly. She has been through enough Nikki.”

“My job has got nothing to do with us.”

“But it does whether you like it or not. She has already lost one person she loved to this job don’t make her loose another.”

####

Karen sighed while watching Nikki stroll into the club. She had stopped trying to persuade Nikki not to go ahead with her plan, when even after she had implied to her that Helen might be in love with her, she had still refused to back away. She had just said that this was her job and that Helen would have to learn to live with it if she really cared for her. The fact that another woman was killed a week earlier just made Nikki more determent to catch this guy no matter what.

They have been doing this for the past three weeks and she had told Nikki earlier that tonight was the last time they did this. If nothing happened tonight they would move on and stop this madness. Suddenly she was brought out of her revelry when she saw Nikki exit the club with a blond woman on her arm. It looked like Nikki was a little unsteady on her feet. Suddenly there was another figure and Karen swiftly got out of the car. She instinctively knew that Nikki had made contact with the killer and his accomplice. She was just about to cross the street when a truck passed in front of her blocking her view for a moment. When it had passed Karen stared in horror at the empty space where the killer’s car had been parked only seconds before, knowing that Nikki was in big trouble... Basic



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 62
Location: South Africa




Adilp Posted: 20 Sep 2005 12:26 pm

Thirteen

Nikki opened her eyes slowly, her first thought that she shouldn’t have drank so much the previous night but then she realised that she was shackled to a bed and her heart stopped for a moment. Her plan had worked but she also realised that she was in trouble. If she was here then Karen had not succeeded in getting to her on time to prevent the killer from actually abducting her. She tried as hard as she could to remember what happened to her after the good looking blond had sat down at her table but she could not remember a thing. She must have drugged her.

Suddenly there was a noise coming from the far side of the warehouse and with a sickening feeling she watched the man approach her with a single white rose in his hand and she knew her time was up. She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking of how much she was going to lose as Helen’s face appeared before her. When she opened them again Martin Stockly was standing in front of her and Nikki drew in a sharp breath.

“Surprised to see me Nikki?” he asked smiling.

“Yes, I knew it had to be a cop but I never suspected you.” Martin was part of the task force.

“I know. That is why I got away with what I did for so long. I really don’t want to kill you Nikki, but you leave me no choice. My only consolation is that you are gay.” He smiled at Nikki and she was horrified to see the mad gleam in his eyes. “What I have planned for you will make the other murders look like child’s play.”

####

“What the hell did the two of you think you were doing Detective?” John Andrews screamed at Karen Betts where they were standing in Pierce Malcolm’s office. “If I weren’t so worried about Wade I would take the time to make your life very miserable right now, but don’t think that you are going to get away with this. After we’ve found Wade you two will have some explaining to do, that is if she’s still alive when we find her.”

“Yes sir. I’m sorry sir. Nikki didn’t want to involve you because she thought that someone on the team was involved. Tonight would have been our last night out alone before we were bringing this to you.”

“You better begin at the beginning Karen. We’ll need all the facts if we want a chance to try and safe Nikki’s life.” He said in a quieter voice.

Karen filled him in on everything that she and Nikki had been doing over the past month or so and by the time she was finished he sat there open mouthed.

“You should have said something sooner…” Andrews begun.

“Nikki told Inspector Malcolm that she thought it was a cop who was committing the murders but he told her to get her priorities straight. He told her to do her job and stop looking for her killer between one of her own…”

“Sir, I…” Malcolm began but Andrews cut him of.

“You better start considering the fact that the killer could be a cop Malcolm or otherwise step down and let someone take over who’s more open minded. Tell me did you dismiss Nikki’s hunch because you actually didn’t believe it was a cop or did you do it just because you didn’t like her or the fact that she is gay?”

“The fact that Wade is gay has got nothing…”

“Save it for someone that cares Malcolm. Find Wade and do it fast or she’ll be dead by the time you get to her.”

####

Nikki watched in fascination as Martin picked up the saw and knife and started to walk slowly towards the bed. She remembered how badly the other women’s bodies were mutilated and she knew that she had to do something. Maybe she could try to talk to him. Ask him why he was doing this.

“Martin…” he didn’t seem to hear her at first and she tried again. “Martin…” he looked at her and it took a few moments for his eyes to focus on her face.

“Yes Nikki?” he sounded so normal and Nikki wanted to scream.

“If you are going to kill me then at least tell me why you are doing this.”

He seemed to consider this for a few moments and then he sighed. “Very well I’ll tell you, but Nikki I know that by doing this you are trying to stall for time. Let me tell you now that it is not going to work. Nobody has any idea where we are or they would have been here already.” He paused and when he spoke again his voice was angry. “You want to know why I kill lesbians? Let me tell you. My mother left my father when my brother and I were about eight years old for another woman. It was soon obvious that the other woman didn’t want us around. She used to beat us whenever she got a chance but things only started to get really bad when my mother got ill and had to go into hospital. That left us alone with her and she used the opportunity to inflict as much pain upon us as was humanly possible. She hated us and said it was our fault that my mother got sick and that things weren’t working out between them. We were twins and my brother having been born first took it upon himself to try and defend me. One night she came down to the cellar, where she was holding us with a knife in her hand. She literally cut my brother into pieces. I was so scared all I could do was hide in the corner under the mattress we slept on. I was left me with my brother’s corps for sixteen hours before the police finally found me. I received some therapy and later my father changed our names and we moved away to a place where no one knew us. Things were looking up and I was doing great as a cop when I came across a woman staying in the apartment next to mine beating up her child and everything became to much for me. I decided to make all lesbians pay for the cruelty my mother’s lover inflicted upon us. Every time I kill one of your sort I kill Inga all over again. I take revenge for my brother’s senseless death and my helplessness at the time.” He stopped speaking and Nikki saw the hardness return to his eyes.

“I’m sorry for what that woman did to you and your brother Martin but you can’t kill every gay woman you…”

“That’s enough. I don’t want to hear anymore from you.” He slapped Nikki across the face and she tasted blood in her mouth. “I only want to hear your screams as it echoes through this warehouse.” He started to cut away her clothes with a knife and Nikki knew with a sickening feeling that her time had just run out.

Fourteen

Karen looked at the name displayed on her phone screen and she wished that she could just continue to ignore it but it was the third time Helen was calling and she knew that she eventually had to answer it.

“Karen Betts…”

“Karen its Helen. I’m sorry to bother you but I am trying to get hold of Nikki.” We are trying to do the same thing… Karen thought while she listened to Helen. “We were supposed to meet for breakfast this morning but she has not shown up and she’s not answering her phone.”

“I have no idea where she is Helen…” Karen begun before Helen cut her short, there was something in Karen’s voice.

“You two were out last night looking for the killer. I told her she was being foolish… Karen what happened to Nikki?”

“Helen please this is not the time…”

“Don’t you dare tell me that Karen. I’m in love with her and I have every right to know what happened to her.”

“Okay… you’re right.” Karen sighed. “Nikki’s plan worked a little to well. She got picked up by the killer but he disappeared with her before I had a chance to stop him.”

“Oh my…” Helen didn’t know what to say. Was this going to end the same way it did with Anthony.

“Helen are you okay?”

“Please tell me that she will be alright Karen?”

“We’re doing everything we can to find her but Stockly has taken her somewhere and he has covered his tracks pretty good.”

“Martin Stockly…?”

“Yeah, do you know him?”

“I’ve seen him a few times. He and Anthony used to build up antique cars together in an old warehouse. He picked Anthony up a few times from home…”

Suddenly Karen felt faint. This is the break they were looking for. “Helen can you remember the address?”

Helen thought for a moment. “No, I only know that it’s near the river somewhere… Sorry”

“Helen it’s okay but if you remember anything else please let me know. I’ll have to go now but I’ll keep you updated.” She ended the call knowing that Nikki’s life depended on how fast she could find that warehouse and it’s address.

Fifteen

This was taking to long. Karen slammed her hand down on her desk in frustration. Nikki would be dead by the time they reach her if they couldn’t find the location of that warehouse very soon. Ever since they had found out that Martin Stockly was the killer things and actions had become a little chaotic around the station. Discovering that it was him happened quite by accident.

Two hours earlier…

All the members of the task team were call and asked to return to the station. Everybody showed up except Martin. In their search for Nikki’s whereabouts they went through his desk in search of every scrap of info that they could use. One of the detectives found a photograph of him with a blond woman and remarked that he was not aware that Stockly had a girlfriend let alone such a beautiful one. Karen ignored them not in the mood for their stupid jokes when they should be searching for Nikki.

She again looked through the photos she had been taking ever since she and Nikki had started their own line of investigation. When she came to the one she had taken of Nikki and the blond coming out of the club she felt her heart lurch painfully inside her chest knowing that she had let Nikki down when she had needed her most.

Putting it down she walked over to the clipboard staring at the notes scribbled underneath the photos of the murdered women hoping that they would be able to provide some new shred of evidence that they might have overlooked. It was while doing this that she saw the photo of Stockly and the blond pinned to the board. One of the detectives had pinned it there as a joke and to embarrass Martin when he showed up. Something about the woman was vaguely familiar when Karen looked at it but she moved on not in the mood for silly jokes. She kept going but something made her return to the photograph of Martin and the blond. Looking more closely at it she felt her heart skip a beat.

The small tattoo just above the right breast… it was the same one the woman had on the photograph Karen had taken the night before. Running over to her desk she grabbed the photo and returned to the board. The woman’s face was not turned fully to the camera but her body was facing it enough for Karen to clearly make out the small tattoo.

“I know who the killer is!!!” she shouted out and within moments everybody in the room was gathered around the board. “It’s Martin…”

“Oh come on Karen you can’t be serious. He’s one of us…” one of them said.

“I’m deadly serious. Nikki always had this theory that the killer was a cop. We all dismissed it but she never changed her opinion; that was part of the reason why we investigated the lead on our own that Mary White whispered to the doctor who treated her before she died. Look at these photos. The two women are both blond…”

“Is that all you have…”

“No it’s not the only similarities. Look at the small tattoo just above the left breast of both these women, they are exactly the same.” She moved over so that John Andrews could examine it for himself. He stared at it for a long moment before turning to Karen.

“I think you’re right…” there was utter silence following his words. Most of the detectives were momentarily to shocked to respond. This was someone they had trusted and thought of as a friend.

John Andrews spoke up again. “Right people, I know this comes as a huge shock but Nikki’s life depends on us right now. Leave no stone unturned, let’s find this maniac.”

#####

Karen swore out load when her phone rang again. “Helen I don’t have time for this…” she began but Helen cut her short.

“I found the address. It was written down in one of Anthony’s address books.”

“Give it to me?” she wrote it down and then repeated it to Helen to make sure that she had it written down correctly. “You may have just saved Nikki’s life Helen. Thank you.”



Sixteen

There was no other sound echoing through the warehouse except Nikki’s screams. She had never in her wildest dreams imagined that a person could survive so much pain without simply dying from it. As the saw cut through her left leg she tried to block out the horror of what was happening but each stoke was like a white-hot flame cutting through her body. Someone must have answered her prayers because a welcomed darkness enveloped her stilling the pain for a while. When she opened her eyes again it took her a moment to focus but the sight of a blood covered Stockly brought back all the agony and pain in one fell swoop. She saw the burning torch in his hands and thankfully lost consciousness again. She did not smell the burning flesh as the flame was used to stop the rapid loss of blood from the raw wound where her leg used to be. She also did not feel the knife cut through other parts of her body, while the same flame was used to stop the blood flow yet again.

Martin Stockly looked down on the body of Nikki Wade and what he saw made him feel very pleased with himself. In his eyes he had created a work of art. He turned towards Nikki’s face. He had left it for last. He was a little annoyed that she had lost consciousness again though. He had thought that she would be stronger than the rest but she had proved to be just as fragile as they were, but oh, how much he enjoyed hearing her screams echo through the warehouse.

He lowered the knife to her face trying to decide where to start when the door burst open and Karen Betts stormed in followed by the rest of the team. Suddenly he was furious. How could they rush him? Now he will have to kill her too soon. He brought the knife down with deadly intent. Then he felt the pain in his chest and he started to gasp for breath. Lowering his eyes he saw the dark red stain spreading across his chest. His only thought of comfort was that he had managed to take Wade with him, just before he died.

Seventeen

“Helen we found Nikki.” Karen said when Helen answered her mobile.

“Is she okay? Were you in time to save her?” Helen sounded anxious.

“She’s still alive Helen but the paramedics aren’t very hopeful. We’re on our way to the hospital now.”

“I’ll be waiting for you…” the line went dead.

####

Karen Betts watched as Nikki was wheeled into the ER. She didn’t want to stay outside the room but Helen’s words stopped her. “Please Karen, I don’t have time for this… Nikki needs me.”

####

They sat next to each other staring at the bed where Nikki lay. She was still unconscious and no one expected that fact to alter in the near future. Karen glanced at Helen. She looked very tired and although Karen had volunteered to watch over Nikki while Helen got some much needed rest she had refused to leave her side.

Helen looked up and found Karen’s eyes focussed upon her. “Karen…?”

“How long will it take her to recover from her injuries?”

“A very long time…” Helen sighed. “It’s not the physical scars that I am worried about Karen. The wounds on the outside will heal but we won’t know how deep the psychological scars are until she wakes up. They will be the hardest to heal if it is even possible. Even if she manages to work through her emotional turmoil I don’t think Nikki will ever be the same person she was before this happened.” Helen lifted Nikki’s right hand and brought it to her lips, kissing the knuckles softly, lovingly.

Karen watched the action. “You really meant it when she said that you loved her, didn’t you?”

“Yes I did. It happened so suddenly. The one moment she was irritating me to death and the next moment she had turned into this beautiful, charming woman who managed to take complete control over my heart. We have been seeing a lot of each other these past weeks and every time I saw her I found myself falling more deeply in love with her.” Helen smiled for the first time since they had brought Nikki to the hospital 5 days ago. “There’s just something about her that draws me like a moth to a flame and although we have never made love I know that I already belong to her body and soul.” she went quiet for a while. “I probably sound like a romantic fool to you…”

Karen smiled. “Not at all. When we are together Nikki can’t stop talking about you either. I think our detective over there feels exactly the same about you Helen.”

“It’s good to know, but I can’t but wonder how what happened to her will affect us and our future relationship. I know Nikki and I think that she’ll have this idea that she’s not good enough for me after what happened but that won’t be true.”

“I know asking you this may hurt your feelings Helen, but how will this affect your relationship with Nikki from your point of view? Are you sure that you are ready to handle all the baggage that this will cause?”

“I’m not naïve Karen. I know that this will be just as hard for me as it is for Nikki to get through. It’s all I have been thinking about these past few days… but I won’t give up on Nikki or us. I love her and I know deep down she cares for me too. I am willing to wait for how ever long it takes to be able to be with her, until she has come to terms with what happened to her.” Helen’s voice was strong, her eyes never leaving Karen’s. Basic



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 62
Location: South Africa




Adilp Posted: 21 Sep 2005 01:18 pm

Eighteen

Nikki’s screams tore through the hospital ward. Helen’s eyes flew open and within moments she was standing next to her bed. She tried to calm Nikki down but it was no easy task. It was as if Helen’s words did not penetrate the terrifying fog that has surrounded the young woman’s brain.

“Nikki you’re safe now. He can’t hurt you anymore. Please darling listen to me. It’s Helen. You’re safe. I will not let him harm you again…” at that moment a nurse stormed into the room and Helen shouted at her to bring a sedative. Although sedating Nikki was the last thing she wanted to do the woman thrashing around on the bed was not leaving her any choice. She kept on talking to Nikki softly to try and calm her down. Nikki’s stared up at Helen with eyes that didn’t focus. The moment the nurse returned with the sedative Helen injected it into the IV. It only took a few seconds before the effects could be seen on Nikki. She calmed down and her eyes began to droop. Just for an instant before sleep claimed her, her eyes focussed on Helen and she whispered her name. “Helen…”

Helen looked down at the woman on the bed and she knew that she had no idea what the woman she loves had been through. She leaned forward and softly kissed Nikki on the lips. “Sleep well sweetheart. I won’t let anything harm you again. I’ll be here when you wake up.” She whispered next to her ear.

Nineteen

Nikki Wade opened her eyes for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. This time her waking up was not accompanied with the same helpless fear it had been with the first time. She was much calmer now, although not less emotional. Glancing around she became aware of the head resting on the bed next to her left leg…

Her left leg… it hit her with a force that made her whole body began to shake all over. One of the last things she remembered was the saw and the incredible pain… As if on cue she became aware of the throbbing of her whole body. She closed her eyes for a moment but then opened them almost immediately again when the images of her ordeal crashed down on her and her breath caught in her throat. She knew that she was panicking and that she had to find a way to calm herself down, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not manage it. Suddenly fear and pain was overriding all her senses. She actually thought she was going to have a heart attach but then a soothing, calm voice broke through her consciousness.

“Nikki, listen to me sweetheart. Just take a deep breath… it will all be okay now. You’re safe. I’m here with you…” the words were repeated until Helen was sure that she had managed to reach Nikki on some level at least. The dark haired woman blinked a few times and then began to put in a deliberate effort to slow her breathing and to get the thumping of her heart under control. Helen noticed this and sent up a thankful prayer.

“That’s it, take a deep breath, and another one. You’re safe Nikki, I’m here and I won’t let anyone harm you again…” she said with conviction and softly she brushed away Nikki’s hair from her forehead.

Nikki felt the touch and she let Helen’s beautiful voice guide her through her panic attack. She focussed on Helen’s voice and slowly she began to calm down. When her eyes focussed on Helen’s face the first thing she saw were those incredible hazel eyes of the woman she had come to care for very deeply before all this happened and for a moment she could make believe that everything would be alright in her world again.

“Helen…” her voice was hoarse when she spoke the other woman’s name.

“Hiya sweetheart. It’s so good to hear your voice again.” Helen smiled through her tears. She tried to blink them away but nothing could keep them from sliding down her face.

“Don’t cry…” Nikki slowly lifted her hand and touched Helen’s wet cheek. Helen covered Nikki’s hand with her own and then turned her face into Nikki’s hand and kissed her palm softly.

“Don’t mind me… I’m just so happy that you’re awake at last.” She could not control the small sob that escaped her lips. “Oh Nikki… I thought I had lost you…” Helen sobbed and buried her face in Nikki’s neck.

Nikki tangled her hand in Helen’s hair as tears also welled in her eyes but it did not spill over. She knew that if she gave into her tears she might never be able to stop them again… Basic



Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 62
Location: South Africa




Adilp Posted: 05 Oct 2005 12:04 pm

Twenty

Karen Betts walked into Nikki’s hospital room and was shocked by what she saw. Helen was bending over Nikki and Karen could hear her sobs all the way from the door. Karen froze for a moment thinking that something happened to Nikki… again…

She slowly approached the bed and her heart skipped a beat when she looked into Nikki’s open eyes. She was awake… the thought screamed through Karen’s mind and she had to blink a few times herself as tears started to well up in her own eyes. She gave Nikki a watery smile and was encouraged when it was returned in the same manner.

Karen stood back and waited patiently until Helen’s sobs subsided and she started to withdraw from Nikki before she made her presence known to the young doctor. Helen looked a little embarrassed at first but then she just smiled at Karen and shrugged her shoulders. Karen walked up to Nikki’s side and gently took her hand.

“I’m glad to see you’re awake Nikki.” her voice betrayed how emotional she felt.

“So am I. For a moment there I thought…” Nikki stopped and both Karen and Helen could see her swallow convulsively before continuing. “How did you find me?”

At that moment Helen’s beeper went off and she excused herself. She leaned over Nikki and lightly kissed her on the forehead, promising to come by as soon as she could, before leaving the room with a wave and a goodbye to Karen.

Clearing her throat Karen began to tell Nikki what happened after Martin Stockly abducted her.

“If it wasn’t for Helen we would never have found you in time…”

Nikki frowned. “Helen… How…?”

Karen smiled and sat down next to Nikki’s bed. “When you left the club with that blond woman and I saw the man approach you I knew that you had made contact with the killer. I jumped out of the car but a truck blocked my view for a few moments and when I got to where I saw you the last time you were gone. I had to go back to the office and face Anderson. I told him everything and let’s just say he was not very happy about what we did.”

“I can’t imagine he’d be… I’m sorry I dragged you into it Karen. I’ll talk to him.”

“I could have refused to help you Nikki but deep down I knew that your plan to catch this guy would work, I just never imagined that it would lead to this…”

“Neither of us did.” Nikki replied in a husky voice.

“We accidentally found out that it was Stockly who abducted you…” Karen proceeded to tell Nikki everything that had happened that night. When she came to the part of finding Nikki her voice shook with emotion and she had to swallow a few times before being able to continue. It was quiet for some time afterwards.

“Thank you for everything Karen but can I ask you a favour?” Nikki asked softly.

“Yeah sure anything.” Karen replied.

“Can you help me to sit up and pull the blankets away?”

“Nikki I don’t know if it’s a good idea…”

“I need to see what he did to me Karen, please…” her voice and eyes pleaded with Karen and the other woman gave a small nod before getting up. She lightly placed her hand behind Nikki’s neck and then started to assist her to sit upright. She heard Nikki’s soft moan and stopped. “Nikki, are you okay?” she asked looking concerned.

“Yes… it hurts like hell but I’ll be okay.” Nikki said through clenched teeth. She motioned for Karen to continue and by the time she was sitting upright she was in so much pain she thought she was going to throw up. Slowly Karen took hold of the blanket and started to pull it away from Nikki’s body. She closed her eyes for a moment but when she heard Nikki’s sharp intake of breath she snapped them open again. Her heart bled for her friend. Nikki had gone even paler and her eyes were bright with unshed tears. Her hands shook when she touched the stump where her left leg used to be. The transformation happened in front of Karen’s eyes. As she looked at Nikki’s face it became blank and when she looked into Nikki’s eyes there was no evidence of any emotion. The coldness of her eyes made Karen shiver. Nikki’s voice was hard when she thanked Karen for everything and told her that she would like to be alone.

“Nikki…”

“Please Karen. Just go…” for a moment her voice shook with emotion and Karen thought she was going to cry but then Nikki’s eyes became empty again and Karen was left with the feeling that both she and Helen had just lost Nikki Wade and that no matter how hard they try they might never get her back again.

#####

Nikki’s face may have been devoid of all emotion but her head was reeling. She had seen the other’s and she knew what Stockly had done to them but she had… her mind went blank for a few moments and then a loud sob escaped her lips. She cried for quite some time before her sobs stopped. By the time Helen got back she had come to a decision and was determined that nothing that Helen could say or do would make her waver an inch from what she knew she had to do…

Helen took one look at Nikki’s face and she knew that something had happened. “Nikki… what’s wrong sweetheart?”

“Nothing’s wrong Helen.” Nikki’s voice was hard, emotionless. “And will you please stop calling me sweetheart. We are not involved in a relationship so you have no right to use it…”

Helen could not believe what Nikki was saying. It’s true they were not in a relationship yet but both she and Nikki knew that it was only a matter of time before they became romantically involved. “I can’t believe you’re saying that. Did the last few weeks mean nothing to you?”

“Don’t fool yourself Helen. I did what I had to do to make sure that you would end up in my bed. When my first attempts didn’t work I became what you expect me to be to impress you.” Nikki gave a bitter laugh. “And by the look on your face right now I see that I have succeeded. I never wanted a relationship with you darling I only wanted to…”

“No stop this. I know what you’re doing.” Helen began but Nikki cut her off.

“You have no idea what I’m doing. Now why don’t you just piss off and leave me alone.” Nikki’s voice held a finality that frightened Helen and made her shiver all over. She watched as Nikki closed her eyes and turned her head away obviously considering the subject closed. In the end Helen had to turn away from the woman she had fallen in love with and the realisation that she had been used broke her heart into a million pieces. “I hate you Nikki Wade…” was her last words before she left the room.

#####

Helen drove home in a blur of tears and when she closed her front door behind her she sank down on the sofa in her living room with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She just stared at the opposite wall her mind in turmoil. Nikki said that she had manipulated her. She said that she just wanted to get her into her bed. Helen swallowed hard. If Nikki only knew how close she had come to let that happen that last night when they were together. How could she have been such a fool? How could she have allowed Nikki Wade to break down her barriers? Helen closed her eyes and felt pain slice through her body. She loved Nikki with all her heart but Nikki only used her…

#####

Nikki felt the tears slip down her cheeks the moment Helen stormed out of her room. Helen’s words cut deep into her soul. She saw the pain her words were causing Helen and she hated herself at that moment even more than she hated the sight of her body when she saw what that monster had done to her. The only thing that gave her the courage to continue was the thought that by doing what she was doing Helen would not have to pretend that the sight of her did not put her of. She would not have to go on pretending that she cared for someone that she could not bare to look at without feeling repulsed all the time. She needed Helen’s love now more than ever but her fear of seeing the pity and revulsion on the beautiful woman’s face let her to believe that what she was doing was the right thing for both of them. She loved Helen so much and the thought of seeing her withdraw from her a little bit every day will surely be too much for Nikki. It was better to end things now…

Twenty-one.

Both women had not slept much the previous night and by the time Helen showed up in Nikki’s room was in a foul mood. They barely greeted each other. Helen had instructed the nurse to remove Nikki’s bandages so that she could look at the wounds when the look in Nikki’s eyes caught her attention. Why would Nikki not want her to examine her injuries? For a moment she couldn’t breath. Could the answer to all her misery be so simple? Could it be that Nikki thought that her body would repulse her whenever she looked at it? She looked at Nikki more closely and their eyes met for an instant. Suddenly she knew she was right. Taking a deep breath she walked around the bed and sat down next to Nikki. Taking Nikki’s hand in her own she asked softly. “How are you feeling today?”

Nikki tried to pull her hand away but Helen was the stronger person at the moment. “I’ve been better.”

“I’m sure you have been. Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Yes…” came the reluctant reply.

“If that is the case why have you been refusing your pain medication?”

“How…? Is it against the law to refuse it?”

“No, but it will make you feel better. It will take most of the pain away…”

“Maybe I don’t want the pain to go away.” Nikki said softly.

“I see…” Helen begun but Nikki cut her short.

“No Helen you don’t. You have no idea what I went through and I pray to God that you never find out. And now I have to live my whole life knowing what he did to me, seeing what he did to me every time I look in the mirror…” Nikki suddenly stopped, afraid that she had said too much.

“Is that why you’re pushing me away? Because you think that the site of your body will repulse me. I am a doctor Nikki…”

“The doctor in you might not be repulsed but the woman in you will not feel the same way.”

“You are so wrong sweetheart…”

“I told you not to call me that anymore. Tell me Helen how long will it take before all the stares, the pity and the opinions of strangers begin to get to you? How long will you endure my touch and you having to touch this…” she indicated her body. “Before you realise that staying with me out of pity and a misguided sense of loyalty was the biggest mistake you had ever made in your entire life?”

“Loving you will never be a mistake…” Helen said lifting her hand to wipe away Nikki’s tears but her hand was slapped away by a furious Nikki. “Don’t… just finish your job and leave.”

For a moment Helen wanted to say something harsh back but then her face softened. “I don’t care how long it takes me to convince you how wrong you are Nikki Wade but I am not going to allow you to push me away. You may as well give in now and accept that I am here to stay.” Their eyes locked and Nikki saw determination burn in Helen’s before she lowered her own and watch Helen’s beautiful hands touch her body.

Helen felt Nikki stiffen when she touched the stump on her left leg but neither of them said anything further. After what seemed like an eternity Helen finished her examination of Nikki’s injuries and after having a quick word with the nurse and instructing her to make sure that Nikki took her pain medication she turned to leave.

Pausing at the door she said. “I will not give up on us Nikki, no matter how hard you fight me on this. I always get what I want and I definitely want you…”

Neither Nikki nor the nurse had anything to say to that. Both just stared open mouthed at Helen’s back while she walked away.

Twenty-Two.

Helen smiled to herself while walking down the hospital corridor. The look on Nikki’s face when she delivered her parting line was precious, she almost felt sorry for her. Maybe I should have waited until the nurse left she thought but then she shrugged. The only way to get Nikki’s attention and get through to her was to shock her. Well that she certainly did. She didn’t quite manage to suppress the giggle that escaped her throat as she turned the corner and almost bumped into Karen Betts.

“Sorry… Oh hi Karen.” She said with a happy smile on her face.

“Hi Helen. You look pleased with yourself. What happened?” Karen asked curiously.

Helen looked at her watch and then made a decision. “Why don’t you join me for a cup of coffee in the cafeteria and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“I was just on my way to see Nikki…” Karen began.

“I think we need to leave Nikki alone for a few more minutes. I just gave her a lot to think about.”

“You sound sure of yourself.”

“Believe me I am.” Helen said laughing and indicated that Karen should follow her.

#####

“I can’t believe you said that to her.” Karen could not believe that Helen had the courage to tell Nikki in front of a nurse that she wanted her. Then she burst out laughing. “Poor Nikki. I don’t think she saw that one coming.”

“No she didn’t. Karen I really think this is the only way to get through to her. She is determined to push everyone away, especially me, because she thinks that care about how her body looks. I need to show her that it doesn’t matter to me. I need to let her know that I will always love her no matter what, and if shocking her into silence helps me get through to her then I’m going to take every opportunity I can to do just that.”

“Well beating this one is going to take some work. What are you planning on doing next? Wait I know… how about showing up half naked with just your doctor’s coat on…” Karen saw the look on Helen’s face and she stopped laughing. “Helen, I was only joking. You can’t seriously think… oh my… you are thinking about doing it.”

Helen gave Karen a mischievous smile. “Maybe…” was all she said not willing to admit anything.

#####

Nikki stared at Helen’s back and for the first time in her life she was at a loss for words. She could not believe what Helen had just said to her in front of the nurse. She of all people should know that this would be all over the hospital before the end of the day, if it even took so long.

She wanted to dismiss what Helen had said but a small part of her hoped that Helen meant every word. That her outward appearance did not put Helen off, and that she really did love her. That Helen’s love will be strong enough to heal the deep wound inside Nikki’s soul and make her whole again.

She wanted so desperate to believe in Helen. She knew that putting what happened to her behind her will not be easy but she knows that with Helen’s help she will eventually be able to do just that. But first she knew she had to make peace with herself and accept the way her body looked.

#####

Helen waited until much later that evening before she went by Nikki’s room again. Nikki was sleeping restlessly. Every now and then her body would jerk spasmodically and that reminded Helen that she would have to speak to Nikki about seeing a psychiatrist. She will need all the help she can get to get through this. Hopefully Nikki would not fight her too much when she suggest this to her. Helen knew just the person to help but without Nikki’s consent all efforts will be futile.

She saw a nurse approaching and asked softly. “How are things going with her?”

“Much better than yesterday. She’s been taking her pain medication and that seems to make her drowsy. I expect that she will be waking up some time around now though.”

Helen walked further into the room and sat down next to Nikki’s bed. “You can go on with your duties, I’ll look after her when she wakes up.” She lightly touched Nikki’s cheek.

“Thanks Doctor, I would appreciate it.” the nurse said with a smile and watching Helen stroking Nikki Wade’s cheek made her realise that nurse Johnson had not been lying about Dr. Stewart’s comment to the patient this morning. She couldn’t wait to tell her colleagues all about this.

#####

Nikki’s eyes opened slowly and she blinked a few times. She heard the sound of breathing and turned her head to the left. Helen was sitting in the chair next to her bed and she was sound asleep. Nikki smiled lovingly, she was gorgeous. Looking closely at Helen she saw the tiny lines of exhaustion around her eyes and mouth and she frowned. Helen needed to rest and sleeping in the chair next to her bed was not going to provide her with that rest. She reached over and lightly touched Helen’s shoulder.

“Helen, wake up.” She said softly. Helen was awake instantaneously. Her eyes flew open and she sat upright.

“What…? Oh Nikki, you’re awake.” She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry for dozing off…”

“That’s okay. Sorry if I startled you, I only meant to wake you up so that you can go home and get some sleep.”

“I can’t do that…”

“Why not?” Nikki frowned.

“I’m on duty tonight. We’re experiencing a staff shortage at the moment and seeing that I already planned to stay here most of the night I sort of volunteered. Hopefully we will not be too busy and I will be able to get some sleep.”

“How long has it been since you have had a good nights rest?”

“Let’s see. The night before you disappeared…”

“But Helen that was almost more than a week ago…” Nikki sounded exasperated.

“I’m a doctor and should be used to it.”

“Don’t be silly. Isn’t there somewhere you can rest?”

“Yeah my office has a pretty decent coach but… I would rather stay here with you…” Helen looked so young and vulnerable and Nikki felt a strong surge of love for this woman in front of her flow through her body.”

“Tell me something Helen, how strict are the rules about doctors sleeping in patients beds in this hospital?”

“I don’t know. I never had a chance to break that rule, but there aren’t another bed in here and I told you that I’m…” she paused for a moment, before gasping. “Nikki you can’t mean… I could hurt you…”

“That’s exactly what I mean. I promise that I’ll wake you up if you hurt me…”

“Nikki… I don’t know…” Helen hesitated.

“Come on Helen, you know you are tempted. And after what you said this morning this will only give the hospital staff one more thing to talk about. Look I promise not to take advantage of you.” Nikki smiled innocently and that made Helen burst out laughing.

“Yeah right Wade. You won’t be able to take advantage of me even if your life depended on it right now.”

It was Nikki’s turn to laugh. “So that proves my point exactly. You’ll be quite safe with me.”

“Okay you’ve got me convinced. Move over…” Helen ordered and Nikki tried her best to hide the moan that threatened to escape her lips when she moved her body. For a few minutes Helen had managed to make her forget about everything. All she wanted to do was to take care of Helen. She felt Helen’s hand on her cheek and opened her eyes. “It’s to painful for you sweetheart, I’ll go to my office.”

Suddenly Nikki realised how desperately she needed to feel Helen lying next to her. “No, please Helen, don’t go. I won’t lie to you and say that it’s not painful but I can handle it. Besides, let it not be said that Nikki Wade turned down the chance to sleep with a beautiful woman just because she was in a little bit of pain…”

Helen took of her coat and shoes and climbed onto the bed, careful not hurt Nikki.

“A beautiful woman hey…?”

“Yeah, a very beautiful woman.” Nikki replied smiling happily. Helen moved until her head was lying on Nikki’s uninjured shoulder. She felt Nikki stiffen for a moment when her hand came to rest on her left hip just above the stump but after a moment she slowly began to relax. Neither of them said anything more, both just enjoying the other’s closeness. It wasn’t long before they both had fallen asleep.

An hour later when the young nurse returned to check on her patient she was shocked to find Dr. Stewart asleep in bed with Nikki Wade. Suddenly her eyes lit up. Boy, did she have a lot to tell the other nurses tomorrow…

Twenty-Three.

Nikki sighed, she was bored and restless. She wanted to get out of the bed and move around. She knew that there was no way that Helen would discharge her yet but she was getting stronger with every passing day. Her wounds were healing and although she knew that there would definitely be scars, some worse and more prominent than others, she had somehow started to come to terms with it. She knew that the acceptance she was receiving from everybody in the hospital including Helen and Karen were a blessing but she was not naïve and she knew that facing strangers and also friends and colleagues might prove to be something entirely different. She knew that there will be stares of horror and pity when they look at her but over the past weeks she had come to realise, with the help of a psychiatrist friend of Helen’s, that the only opinions that mattered to her was her own and the ones of the people she loved and cared about. That meant Helen and Karen.

Helen… When she had first saw Helen she knew that she was attracted to her but never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought that she would fall in love with her so deeply. She had been the one constant and bright light through out this whole ordeal. Without her she would have given up from the beginning. She smiled tenderly and had to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek when she remembered what happened the morning after she and Helen had “slept” together.

She had woken up from a nightmare breathing hard and feeling terrified. It had taken Helen a few minutes to calm her down. Helen had taken Nikki’s hand in her own; refusing to let go even when she had tried to withdrew it.

“Nikki please don’t push me away.” Helen had said softly.

“How can you bear to touch me?” came Nikki’s harsh question. “Look at me, I’m a mess and my body looks like…” she couldn’t bring herself to continue.

Helen had leaned forward and lightly cupped Nikki’s cheek. “To me you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen…”

“How can you say that?” Nikki’s voice sounded angry.

“Do you really think that the only reason I was attracted to you before this was because I thought you had a perfect body?” Helen sounded hurt and Nikki lowered her eyes. “No Nikki look at me…” Helen waited until Nikki lifted her eyes to hers before she continued. “I care for you because of who you are inside Nikki not because of what you look like on the outside. It’s your kindness, your compassion, your honesty and your loyalty that made me fell for you. From the first time I met you I saw that you were a very beautiful woman with a body to probably die for but if you recall I really wasn’t that impressed by you. It was only when you dropped the act and let me see what was inside your heart that I fell in love with you.” She heard Nikki gasp and smiled. “Yes Nikki… I love you and when I thought that I would never get to see you or hear your voice ever again… if you had died…” she had to stop to compose herself. Clearing her throat she spoke again.

“Don’t fight me on this Nikki, please. Let me be there for you when you need me. Please trust in me and allow me to love you…

####

Nikki again felt her heart melt just by remembering that conversation. She had agreed to talk to Helen about how she felt and not to push her away. At times it was hard but somehow they had succeeded.

Nikki smiled again. The fact that Helen and spent the night in a patients bed had not gone unnoticed either but knowing Nikki’s circumstances and after Helen’s somewhat heated explanation regarding her actions they let her of with a strict warning and a lot of disapproving looks. Nikki knew that they had come to realise just how valuable member of staff Helen really was and didn’t want to lose her, though she knew that they never would admit to that. The nurses and some of her colleagues never looked at Helen the same after that though. More than once Nikki had to suppress a groan when she saw lustful eyes follow Helen’s every move.

She heard the soft footsteps approaching and she knew it was Helen. Suddenly she wasn’t bored any more.

Twenty-Four

Karen Betts looked at the woman who stood in the middle of the room looking like a lost and frightened child and her heart went out to Nikki. She had just picked her up from the hospital after a last minute emergency kept Helen from doing so.

“Hey Nikki, are you okay?” Karen asked concerned and stepped closer to her friend.

“I guess…” came Nikki’s vague reply. “Please don’t take this the wrong way but I just wished Helen was here right now.”

“Don’t worry about it. I can only guess how you feel right now and I know that having her here would have made things a lot easier for you.” Karen smiled.

“Yeah, something like that.” Nikki smiled back.

“Nikki if there is anything I can do for you, you know you just have to ask.”

“I know and thank you. I’m just scared I guess…”

“I have time if you want to talk about it.” Karen sat down next to Nikki on the sofa.

“I don’t know where to start and maybe I’m just being silly…” She paused for a moment. “When I was in hospital everyone was so great. There were no stares of pity directed my way and nobody felt sorry for me except myself in the beginning. They treated me as a real person not as an invalid. People will look at me very differently now.”

“People’s attitude towards you will only affect you as much as you allow it to Nikki, you know that as much as I do. You’ve never let anyone else’s opinion influence the way you feel or made your decisions on how to live your life or do your job in the past, so why start now. As long as you don’t let their attitude get to you now you will be able to move past this and get on with your life. I know it won’t be easy but if there is anyone that can do it I know it is you.”

“I don’t care what people think of me but I am afraid that Helen might.” She held up her hand when Karen wanted to interrupt and continued. “I know she said it wouldn’t but what if she realises one day that she had made a mistake to stay with me and that all she felt for me was pity?”

“I wish there was something that I could say to assure you that it won’t happen Nikki, but I can’t. All I know is that Helen really loves you and I don’t think that what you fear most will ever happen.” She paused. “If it wasn’t for me none of this would be happening…”

“What are you talking about Karen?”

“If I had reacted faster, or insisted on going into that club with you I would have been there for you when you needed me the most. I let you down Nikki and I’m so sorry for doing that.”

Nikki was horrified. Suddenly she realised just how much guilt her friend have been carrying around with her all this time. “Karen nothing that happened to me was your fault. I chose to do it and I bullied you in to helping me.” she took hold of Karen’s hands. “You were the one that told me how dangerous this whole thing could be, but I refused to listen to you. As for being able to stop me from being abducted, no one would have been able to prevent that. I couldn’t even stop it from happening myself. They had it planned to the T Karen. So please stop blaming yourself for what happened, because I don’t blame you. The only thing you have to remember Karen is that in the end you did save my life. If you had not showed up when you did I would have been lying in a grave right now and not be sitting here trying to talk some sense into you. I owe you my life and I will never be able to thank you enough for it.”

Karen was crying openly now. Having listened to Nikki made her realise that what her friend was saying was the truth and she felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders. “Thank you Nikki, just promise me one thing. Don’t give up on what you and Helen can have together just because you are scared of what may happen. If there is one thing that both of us should have learned out of all this, then it is that life is to short to waste your happiness and future on what ifs. Give Helen and yourself a chance to be happy.”

It was quiet for a long moment before Nikki’s soft reply could be heard. “I won’t give up on us.”

“Good, because if you bugger this up Wade you will be a very stupid woman indeed…”

Twenty-Five.

One Month Later…

Nikki opened her apartment door to a breathtakingly beautiful Helen Stewart. Helen was wearing a low cut green dress that brought out the colour of her eyes. Her makeup was immaculate and Nikki’s eyes were drawn to her full lips. She felt a shiver of anticipation run down her spine.

“Wow, you look fantastic, Helen”

Helen smiled seductively at Nikki. “Thank you…” She walked past Nikki, turned around and waited until Nikki closed the door before stepping closer to her and whispering in her ear. “And you look absolutely good enough to eat darling.” How true Helen thought looking at Nikki. Dressed in a red top, black trousers, her hair mussed and those dark dreamy eyes… Helen too suppressed a shiver of anticipation.

Nikki immediately blushed bright red as she felt a sudden heat rush through her entire body. When Helen tried to step away from her, Nikki let go of one of her crutches and grabbed hold of Helen’s arm.

“Is that just an observation or is it a promise for later Helen?” Nikki asked in a husky voice.

Helen pretended to think for a minute. “I think it’s a bit of both sweetheart.” She smiled innocently up at Nikki.

That did it for Nikki. She pulled the smaller woman against her and kissed her soundly on those inviting lips. When she heard Helen moan against her mouth, she deepened the kiss and proceeded to tease Helen’s lips apart. Their tongues met and played with each other’s. Nikki felt Helen’s response to the kiss and if possible, deepened the kiss even more. When they eventually broke apart both women were breathless. Suddenly neither of them was hungry for food anymore. Helen stepped back and lightly touched Nikki’s cheek.

“Will it be too much if I told you that I wanted to skip dinner in favour of making love to you?” she asked softly staring into Nikki’s dark brown pools.

Nikki tried to swallow. Her throat was suddenly very dry. This was it. It was something she had looked forward to but had also dreaded ever since she lost her leg. Helen wanted them to make love. It would be their first time together. Her face went very pale and as she opened her mouth to speak she was horrified to find that she couldn’t.

Helen saw that Nikki was starting to panic and she tried to smile reassuringly even as her own doubts about Nikki’s feelings for her started to surface. “It’s okay Nikki, we don’t have to… if you don’t want to…” she tried desperately to keep the hurt and confusion out of her voice.

But Nikki saw it in her eyes. “It’s not that Helen…” she went quiet for a moment. “I don’t know how to explain this…”

Helen bend down and picked up the discarded crutch. She indicated the sofa and said. “Come on, let’s sit down for a moment and talk this through.” When they were both seated she turned towards Nikki and waited patiently for Nikki to formulate her words. She suddenly had a good idea what it was that Nikki wanted to say and she wanted to tell