LEARNING HOW TO LOVE…

Disclaimer…

Bad Girls and all its characters are the property of Shed Productions. The author implies no ownership of these characters. They are used in the stories without permission solely for entertainment and not for profit. The story may contain some bad language and some 18 rated action between consenting adults of the same sex, so if you are offended by that don’t read any further…

I may not update regularly but I'll try my best. Please be patient if you don't mind.

And please let me know what you think…

Part 1

“Nikki what the hell is wrong with you?” Yvonne Atkins asked exasperation clearly detectable in her voice.

“Nothing, I just don’t have the time to deal with this at the moment.”

“What is that suppose to mean? You just don’t have time…” Yvonne could feel her blood starting to boil. “Your pregnant wife was just involved in an accident and it looks like she won’t live past the point of giving birth to your child and you tell me that you don’t have time… Get your arse in gear and get over to that hospital right away. Your family needs you now.”

Nikki stared at Yvonne for a long moment before turning to the table and picking up her keys. Moments later Yvonne heard the car starting and driving off. Shaking her head Yvonne began to wonder what was going on. The Nikki she knew would have been at the hospital hours ago but instead Nikki had stayed home after receiving the news of Trisha’s accident, not bothering to go there to see if her wife and their unborn child were going to be okay. She frowned, wondering not for the first time what Trisha was doing on that road way out in the country in weather like this…

****

Nikki stood listening to the doctor explain that they did everything they could to save Trisha but in the end her injuries were just too severe. He went on to tell her that they had been able to save the baby though. He smiled a little when he congratulated Nikki on being the proud parent of a little baby girl. Unfortunately her birth was a few weeks premature and she would have to stay in hospital for a while before Nikki would be able to take her home. Nikki had found herself unable to answer the doctor and had turned around and walked out of the hospital. Not returning once in the three weeks that the baby was there to check up on the child.

Eventually it was Yvonne who took pity on the helpless child and began to visit her every day. No one knew what was going on with Nikki, but they just assumed that the shock of losing Trisha was to much for her at the moment and that after some time she would be able to come to terms with it and love their child the way she deserved to be loved by her only living parent.

****

Yvonne looked at the list of names of fulltime nannies the hospital had provided her with when they told her that Amy would be released from hospital soon. For a moment she smiled, remembering the woman the little girl was named after. Nikki had not been to see her child, nor had she been available to tell them which name she wanted to give her daughter so Yvonne had decided to name her after her younger sister who had died of cancer about five years ago. Just like her namesake little Amy had blonde hair and bright blue eyes and she had reminded Yvonne so much of her sister when she was a baby that Yvonne had decided on the name not caring what Nikki thought or said.

Frowning again Yvonne picked a name at random and started to dial the number next to it. It was picked up after the first few rings and she found herself talking to what sounded like a very charming young woman. They agreed to meet for lunch the next day and if both of them were satisfied with what they saw Yvonne would take her to the hospital to introduce her to Amy. Saying their goodbyes both women hung up and Yvonne couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. The woman sounded quite nice over the phone and Yvonne silently hoped that she would turn out to be just as nice when they actually met.


****

Nikki Wade opened the front door of her house to the sound of a crying baby. She froze in her tracks for a moment or two. Yvonne brought the kid here. She couldn’t believe it. Dropping her bags she took the stairs two at a time and angrily threw open the bathroom door. What she saw made her mouth fell open. Standing in her bathroom, rocking a small baby was a total stranger. The woman looked up at the disturbance and her eyes widened in shock before she recognised the woman standing in the door as not only the baby’s mother but also the owner of the house, and she tried to smile reassuringly at the now obvious furious woman.

“Who are you? And what are you doing here with that?” She pointed towards the baby.

Helen was taken aback by the open animosity directed towards her, but especially towards the young child by this dark haired woman. She squared her shoulders and was just about to give this woman a piece of her mind when she remembered Yvonne’s words. She had told her that Nikki had trouble getting over Trisha’s loss and that she might be hostile and angry when she find a complete stranger in her house. She had told Helen to ask Nikki to phone her as soon as she gets back home, and that she would explain the situation to her. She assured Helen that everything would be okay in the end and that she should not be intimidated by the famous Wade temper.

So, she had stepped forward and introduced herself as Helen Stewart, Amy’s nanny and when it was obvious that Nikki was only getting angrier she had told her to phone Yvonne. Turning her back on Nikki she had continued her job of trying to calm Amy down. Maybe the little girls could sense the animosity directed at her from the dark haired woman because she was crying even harder now than a few minutes before.

****

Nikki watched the woman for a few more moments before turning on her heals and storming into her bedroom. She immediately dialled Yvonne’s mobile number and waited impatiently for her to answer it. When it was answered eventually she felt like strangling her instead of speaking to her.

“What were you thinking Yvonne…?” she began but her tirade got cut short by Yvonne’s calm voice.

“Hallo to you too Nikki. I’m so glad you’re back. Did you enjoy your little trip?”

“Yvonne I don’t have time for pleasantries. What is that baby doing here and who is the strange woman, who claims to be her nanny?”

“Firstly the baby you are referring to is your child, her name is Amy by the way if you’re interested and for the strange woman, you were not around to take care of her so I hired a fulltime nanny to do just that. Now whether you decide to keep Helen or let her go is your choice but I would not act to hastily if I were you, looking after a baby is not easy and you might want to use all the help you can get.”

“But I don’t want her here…”

“Are you referring to Helen or Amy, Nikki?” Yvonne was beginning to lose both her temper and patients with Nikki.

“Both… Yvonne I…”

Suddenly Yvonne had enough. “Listen to me Nicola Wade and listen good. Whether you like it or not you are the only parent that little girl have at the moment and you are going to act like one and take care of her, like you are supposed to. She didn’t ask to be here, you and Trisha wanted her and you got your wish, now swallow your grieve or what ever else is going on inside your head at the moment an take on your responsibilities…”

“You have no idea what’s going on at the moment…” Nikki shouted.

“No you’re right, I don’t. And why do you think that is? It’s because you packed up and left as soon as you heard about Trisha’s death, not even bothering to arrange or be at her funeral, instead of talking to me and telling me what you are feeling. And to make matters worse you abandon your child…”

“Don’t call her that…”

“Why not Nikki. That is exactly what she is, yours and Trisha’s little miracle and you better look after her. You know that, that is what Trisha would have wanted…” Yvonne stopped when the phone suddenly went dead. At first she wanted to phone Nikki back and give her a piece of her mind but then she decided to give her some time to think about everything she had said. Smiling Yvonne closed her phone and return to her dinner guests.

Part 2

They barely spoke to each other during the time they ran into one another in the house. Helen was becoming a little fed up with Nikki’s attitude towards her own child, wondering what kind of person Nikki Wade was, not to even be interested in the little girl. She knew that she worked long hours at the club she co-owned with her late wife and it couldn’t be easy to suddenly do all the work by yourself but the way she was avoiding both herself and Amy was starting to become ridiculous. It seemed that she didn’t want to have any contact with them and would rather not have them present in her house.

****

The moment Helen walked into the kitchen Nikki Wade jumped up and made some or other excuse about having to make a phone call in her study. Helen, who had enough of Nikki’s attitude by now, could not hold her tongue anymore. Turning towards Nikki she said angrily. “It won’t kill you to be in the same room with us Miss Wade. We don’t have an infectious disease, but it seems like you are allergic to your daughter, because you never spent any time with her.”

Nikki couldn’t believe what she had just heard. “The fact that I never spend time with her is none of your business Miss Stewart. You are here to look after her and not me so do the job you are being paid for and leave me alone.”

“By telling you that your daughter needs you to interact with her I am doing exactly what is required of me. You have been back from your trip for almost a month now and you have never even once come into the nursery to see her. What kind of a mother are you?”

It looked like Nikki was about to say something back, but she just stared at Helen for a moment longer, her eyes ablaze with anger before she turned on her heals and walked away. Helen just shook her head; she couldn’t believe this woman’s attitude.

****

Nikki slammed the study door shut. How dare that woman speak to her like that? She was hired by Yvonne to look after Amy and what Nikki does or does not do has got nothing to do with her. She herself will start to interact with Trisha’s child whenever she feels ready to do it and she won’t allow anyone to push her into it before then.

Sitting down with a heavy frown creasing her brow she thought about everything that has happened to her these past months. How could things have gone so horribly wrong in such a short space of time?

She closed her eyes for a moment. Smiling a little when she heard the sound of the birds in the tree just outside her window. Suddenly she heard the soft tones of Helen Stewart’s beautiful voice and before she could help herself she was standing at her window looking out into the garden below. She watched the young woman walking around with the small child in her arms before she sat down on the grass with the baby in her lap.

For a moment she remembered all the hopes and dreams she had weaved around the small child. She remembered how she had wanted to be there for her every step of the way like a good parent was supposed to be. How she had made plans for their future together as a family…

A family… how laughable that word sounded now. Suddenly Nikki turned away from the window and with one angry sweep of her hand she swiped her whole desk clean. Not waiting to see what kind of damage her anger outburst had caused, she grabbed her jacket and keys and strode from the room.

****

Helen lifted her head when she heard the car pull away from the house with screeching tires. She shook her head and frowned. What has gotten into her now, she wondered but then she shook her head. It was none of her business. Nikki Wade was right when she said that she was hired to look after Amy and that anything else that was going on was none of her business. For a moment after her outburst in the kitchen this morning she had actually thought that Nikki Wade was going to send her packing but when it didn’t happen and she had merely walked away Helen knew that she had, had a lucky escape. She needed this job. The pay was excellent and the accommodation wasn’t something to complain about. She knew how lucky she was to have found it after all the time she spent looking for a job. Shaking of the gloomy thoughts she again turned her attention to the small baby girl sitting in her lap realising that until
Nikki Wade came to her senses; she really was the only one this little girl had in her life to take care of her except maybe for Yvonne Atkins. She leaned forward and softly whispered in the child’s ear. “I’m here for you if you need me and you will always have my love.” Suddenly she realised how true her words were. She had really come to love this small child very much during the last couple of months and she would do anything to protect her from getting hurt, especially by her own mother.

Part 3

Helen looked at the date on the calendar and blinked. How is it possible that six months have slipped by without her even noticing? She slowly shook her head and turned towards the baby, who had just woken up from her nap.

“Do you know that in a few days time you will be 7 months old?” She asked the child while tickling her tummy. In answer to Helen’s question the little girl made a series of gurgling sounds. “Oh, you do. I’m impressed Miss Wade. Maybe the two of us can go to the park to celebrate.” Again she was rewarded with the gurgling noises. “Let’s see who we can invite along? Aunt Yvonne…” Helen stopped when her thoughts centred on Nikki Wade. As the child’s mother she should have been first on the list but Nikki had made it clear from quite early on that she didn’t want anything to do with her child’s upbringing. Helen not only performed nanny duties but she was also little Amy’s surrogate mother. She gave the small child all the love she could but she also knew that nothing she could do could ever make up for the lack of her mother’s love in her life. Sighing she deliberately pushed the disturbing thoughts to the back of her mind and continued her conversation with the gurgling child.

****

Nikki, who came home unannounced heard every word uttered by Helen Stewart and she felt tears sting the back of her eyes. Helen named of a whole list of people that could accompany them to the park but her name was never mentioned. The fact that Helen had left her out should not sting like this. Wasn’t she the one that made it clear from the start that she wanted nothing to do with Amy? Furious at herself for letting the incident get to her she angrily strode into her bedroom and shut the door behind her with a load bang, before sitting down on the side of the bed. She lowered her head in her hands and sat like that for a few minutes before pulling open the drawer of the nightstand and taking out a picture of a smiling Trisha. Staring at it for a long moment she again felt the incredible anger boil up in her and she flung the picture against the far wall. “I hate you for what you did to us…” she screamed at the empty room.

****

That night and for the following three nights Nikki woke up with her heart pounding and her body drenched in sweat. She could vaguely recall her nightmare and she frowned. She had not had one in quite some time so why would they return now?

****

Helen heard the noise coming from Nikki’s room and she wondered what was going on. Suddenly she heard her scream and she jumped out of bed and ran towards the dark haired woman’s room. Nikki was obviously having a nightmare and was thrashing around on the bed, moaning. For a moment Helen was unsure of whether to wake Nikki or not, but she could see that it was only getting worse and Nikki didn’t show any signs of waking up on her own. Sighing she hurriedly crossed to the side of the bed and called out he woman’s name. When it didn’t work after a few tries, she sat down on the bed and placing her hand on Nikki Wades’ shoulder she gently hook her.

“Nikki, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.” She said hoping that she would succeed in her task so that she could go back to bed. When it didn’t work she applied more pressure to her shoulder. Suddenly Nikki sat up with a strangled scream. Helen who was taken by surprise nearly jumped up and ran from the room. For a moment after her eyes snapped open Helen could see that Nikki had no idea that she was even in the room with her. Her eyes cleared after a few heartbeats and she slowly became aware of Helen’s presence. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” Helen said softly. “But you were having a nightmare and…”

“It’s okay Helen. You didn’t scare me…” suddenly there were tears on her cheeks and Nikki lowered her face not wanting the other woman to see how vulnerable she was at the moment. Helen immediately understood and without thinking she pulled Nikki Wade into her arms. For a moment she felt Nikki’s body go rigged but she kept her arms around her until she felt the dark hair woman relax and wrapping her arms around Helen’s middle she let go of her emotions and gave in to her tears. Helen held her tight and comforted her like she would a small child.

After a long while Nikki lifted her head and slowly disentangled herself from Helen. She looked up with a sheepish grin. “I’m sorry for this…”

Helen realised that she had never seen anyone look more adorable than Nikki Wade at that moment and she frowned at the thought, wondering where it came from. “Don’t worry about it…” there was an awkward silence and then Helen stood up. “I’ll let you get back to sleep…”

Nikki just stared at Helen for a long moment before saying. “Thank you for caring...”

Helen just nodded and left, closing the bedroom door behind her, leaving a now wide-awake Nikki behind.

****

The following morning Helen had just finished feeding Amy and was busy eating her own breakfast when Nikki walked into the kitchen. Knowing that Nikki didn’t like to be around Amy, Helen quickly got up and reached for the small child, lifting her out of her baby chair.

“I’m sorry, I thought you have left already. We’re a little early this morning…” she muttered.

“It’s okay Helen, you don’t have to go.” When Helen hesitated she added. “At least sit down and finish your breakfast before you go.”

Helen looked at Nikki a little unsure of what she heard. “Are you sure? I know you don’t like being around… I just thought…” Helen stammered.

Nikki stared at Helen for a long moment before speaking. “I’m sure…” she sat down in the chair next to Amy’s baby chair after she had poured herself a cup of coffee.

Not knowing exactly what was happening; Helen returned her attention to her breakfast, wanting to finish as fast as possible before Nikki changed her mind. She looked up at Amy and saw the way the small child was looking at Nikki’s hair. Before Helen could react the small hand shot out and grabbed hold of a fist full of hair. Helen knew from experience how painful that can be and she jumped up from her seat.

“Sit down Helen, I’m sure I can manage to liberate my hair from her hand without your help.” Nikki said and she slowly turned towards the little girl and spoke in a quiet voice so as not to frighten her. “You like doing that, don’t you?” Gurgling, Amy answered her back. Leaning over Nikki slowly lifted the little girl from her chair and placed her n her lap. Her voice remained soft and she lifted her hand and covered the small one tangled in her hair, all the while speaking to Amy. Helen watched in astonishment as Nikki slowly disentangled her hair from the little hand. Keeping it in hers, she lowered her head to the small body and inhaled the fresh baby scent. When she looked up their eyes met and Helen saw the wonder in the dark eyes full of tears. Neither of them said anything but Helen gave Nikki a soft smile, which was returned after a few moments of hesitation.

Part 4

Five months later…

Helen looked out the window with a soft smile on her lips that was belied by the sorrow in her eyes. If somebody would have told her five months ago that she and Nikki Wade would become friends she would have laughed at them, but that is exactly what have happened. Since that morning, when Nikki had walked into the kitchen when Helen and Amy were having breakfast, things have changed dramatically. Before that fateful morning Nikki had gone out of her way to ignore them, but that day she had shown, for the first time since Amy was born, some interest in her daughter. The bond that started forming not just between mother and daughter but also between Helen and Nikki had grown quite strong since then.

In the beginning Nikki was very nervous, not knowing where she should fit into her daughter’s life and routine, but Helen, sensing her need to become a part of her daughters life had created opportunities where Nikki would fit in. The little girl blossomed under her mother’s attention and the change in
Nikki Wade was astonishing to witness. From the dark brooding woman that usually stalked through the house, trying her best to avoid everybody, she had changed into the easygoing, smiling and intriguing woman that Helen had been drawn to like a moth to a flame.

With the change in Nikki’s attitude towards her daughter, came a change in attitude towards Nikki Wade by Helen. She had to constantly remind herself that she didn’t even like her. At first she couldn’t believe that she could be attracted to Nikki Wade, but she was. The realisation came suddenly and out of the blue and it hit Helen with the force of a sledgehammer squarely in the chest.

####

She was playing with Amy on the floor, tickling her, when Nikki suddenly appeared out of nowhere, saying that she was her daughter’s defender and protector and that it was only fair for Helen to be tickled in return, and seeing as Amy couldn’t do that at the moment it fell upon Nikki to help her daughter out. Helen immediately begged for mercy but none was forthcoming. Neither women realised when their tickling of each other turned into something entirely different but suddenly all Helen was aware of was Nikki Wades body almost on top of her own and Nikki’s hands resting on her ribs just below her breasts. She drew in a shaky breath and looked up into two dark chocolate brown pools filled with something Helen had trouble explaining at that breathless moment. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Helen became aware of Nikki Wades’ head slowly descending, before Amy, pulling on her hair, brought Helen back to earth.

The spell was broken and Nikki immediately moved away from her. Helen quickly disentangled her hair from Amy’s grasp, knowing that she had to get out of the room as soon as possible. Confusion about what almost happened between them written all over her face. Nikki saw this, and being equally at a loss for words to explain her own actions and reaction towards Helen, made things easier for both of them. By the time Helen had finished liberating her hair Nikki had left without saying a word.

After a night of tossing and turning both women decided not to bring the incident up, ignoring it, as if it never happened. Over the next two weeks, things were again strained between them. The earlier camaraderie they shared was gone replaced by an awkward silence whenever they happen to be in the same room. Suddenly Nikki was working long hours again, not returning home until late and leaving even before Helen and Amy woke up in the mornings. They barely spoke to each other and Helen knew that the atmosphere around the house was affecting Amy because she started crying a lot. Helen realised that the bond Nikki and Amy had managed to cement during the past weeks was stronger than even Helen had suspected in the beginning. To put it plainly Amy was missing her mother and Helen knew that she and Nikki had to sort out whatever it was that had happened to them in order to make it possible for Nikki to interact with her child.

####

That night she was waiting for Nikki when she got home in the early hours of the morning. She paused at the bottom of the stairs when she heard Helen calling her name.

“Nikki…’

Turning around slowly, Nikki mentally prepared herself to face Helen Stewart. “Oh, hi Helen.”

For a moment Helen didn’t know how to begin. “Can I talk to you?”

“Can’t it wait Helen? It’s really late and…” Nikki tried to stall the conversation that she knew should have happened over two weeks ago. Ever since the day she had almost kissed Helen she have been trying to avoid her, and by doing so she was also having to give up on the time she spend with Amy.

“Please, it won’t take long.” Nikki nodded and Helen led out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. They went to Nikki’s study and Helen sat down in a chair while Nikki stood in front of the window.

“What do you want to talk about Helen?

“Is there any way for us to go back to where we were before the morning we…”? Helen’s voice faltered.

“Before the morning we almost kissed…” Nikki completed her sentence and Helen nodded. “Yes…” she added softly.

Nikki looked at her and swallowed. Would it help her to lie? No, she decided, only the truth will work in this instance. She cleared her throat and then began to speak. “You are a very beautiful woman Helen and you know that I am gay, therefore you also know that I might find you attractive. I’ve watched the way you interact with Amy and I have also come to admire you a great deal because of that.” She held her hand up to silence Helen when she opened her mouth to speak. “No please let me finish, for a moment the other morning I forgot that you really don’t like me that much and that you only interact with me on a civil basis because of Amy and because you want the best for her. Things got carried away but I can assure you that it won’t happen again. Joining in your game that morning was a big mistake on my part and I have no excuse for what I almost did afterwards. For a moment I forgot that you are not Amy’s mother…” her voice trailed off. “I’m sorry if I offended you in any manner, but I promise you that it won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay, I accept your explanation and your word that it won’t happen again.”

For the first time in two weeks Helen and Nikki smiled at each other. “Now that it’s sorted, I expect to see you in your daughter’s room bright and early this morning. She misses you. Goodnight Nikki.” Helen winked at her before leaving the room.

#####

After that, things had gotten better between them and without realising what was happening, Helen had slowly but surely began the journey of falling in love with Nikki Wade. But she realised it to late because one weekend Nikki showed up with a woman she introduced as her new girlfriend.

Part 5

“What the hell is going on with you Wade?” Yvonne slammed her fist down on the side of Nikki’s desk.

“If you calm down Yvonne and tell me what this is all about, I’ll know what it is I’ve done wrong…”

“Done wrong, there are better words to describe what you have done. How can you be so stupid?”

“Yvonne, what are you talking about?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m talking about. What were you thinking when you got involved with that Blond Bimbo?”

“My private life has got nothing to do with you…”

“It does when Helen calls me to let me know that I should help you look for another nanny because she is going to give you her notice at the end of the month…”

“What…” Nikki’s face went very pale. “I didn’t know…” She had thought that her getting involved with someone would be something that Helen would welcome. Even she herself had thought that getting herself a girlfriend would have taken her mind of, of her daughter’s nanny, but after almost a month of flaunting Erin around in Helen’s face she had come to the conclusion that not only didn’t Helen care but that nothing and no one would ever succeed in doing that. She had to finally acknowledge the fact that she was head-over-heals in love with Helen Stewart. She never thought that her actions would cause her to loose one of the things that she thought to be the most important in her life.

“What are you going to do about it?” Yvonne asked looking at Nikki.

“Excuse me…” Nikki was so deep in thought she didn’t hear Yvonne’s question.

“I asked, what are you planning on doing about it?”

Nikki sat down heavily. “I don’t know if there is anything I can do…”

“You know Nikki you never struck me as a stupid person, but right now I have to wonder…”

“I don’t take to kindly to insults Yvonne, even if it is being delivered by my best friend…” Nikki warned. She knew she was dangerously close to losing her temper.

“Believe me I know, but its time someone told you what an arse you have been ever since Trisha’s death.”

“Leave Trisha out of this, she has got nothing to do with this.”

“Oh, but I think she does Nikki. Let’s recount shall we. One: You get a call that your pregnant girlfriend of nine years have been in an accident and instead of rushing to the hospital to be by her side you go home. When I find you I practically have to force you to go to the hospital. Two: After you hear that Trisha didn’t make it and that you are the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl you disappear. No one can find you. I have to step in and take care of her, name her and get her a nanny to look after her. Three: You eventually grace us with your presence, throw a fit about the nanny and then ignore your child for months, the very same child you couldn’t stop talking about when Trisha announced that she was pregnant. Four: You refuse to talk to anybody about what’s been bothering you, telling us it’s none of our business. Five: Eventually you come around. You start being the mother your child deserves and in the process give everybody hope that things will work out just fine from now on. Six: You end up flaunting a new girlfriend around, who I must add, you care nothing about and then, Seven: Now your daughter’s nanny wants to quit and you go back to being the a…”

“I get the picture Yvonne.” Nikki announced angrily.

“Good, so why don’t you just tell Helen Stewart that you love her and can’t live without her and then everybody can go back to liking you again?”

That statement took Nikki by surprise and for a moment she had trouble breathing. “I don’t…”

“Stop denying it Wade, you can’t fool me, I know you. I’ve seen the way you look at Helen when you think no one is watching. You love her more than you’ve ever loved anything or anyone in your entire life and that includes Trisha, and it scares you to death. What I just can’t figure out is why you refuse to do something about it.”

“Because I’m scared…” Nikki said softly.

“Why Nikki, what happened with Trisha that has you running away from your feelings for Helen?” Yvonne asked quietly.

It was quiet for some time before Nikki stood up and walked towards her office safe. She opened it and took out an envelope. Sitting down again she handed it to Yvonne and said: “Maybe you will understand better after you’ve read this.”

Yvonne looked at Nikki for a long time before opening the letter. Her eyes widened in shock after a few moments.


Part 6

Nikki,

By the time you read this I will already have left you. I know you want to know why so here are my reasons.

You were just a faze in my life and I grew tired of you soon after we began our relationship. Staying with you was convenient because you were so in love with me that I knew you would never suspect me of cheating on you, and cheat I did. Donald was not the first person I was unfaithful with and he certainly was not the first man I slept with, but he was the only one that I felt strong enough about to leave you.

We met at a function about eleven months ago and at first I fought against my growing attraction for him but he kept on calling and wouldn’t give up so eventually I gave in. I realised I was pregnant with his child and that was when I announced that we should start a family together. What should be clear to you now is that I am much further along with the pregnancy than the seven months you think I am. Because I am due anytime now I have finally decided to leave you and Donald is picking me up in an hour. We are going to start our life together somewhere far away from here where nobody knows us.

I am so glad to finally be rid of this relationship and of you. The way you went on and on about the baby made me sick and you won’t believe how many times I just wanted to scream at you that it didn’t belong to you, that you had no part in it, just to see that soppy look disappear from your face.

Don’t try to find us because there is nothing left between us. The baby is not yours and if you don’t believe me call my doctor she will confirm it.

Trisha.

PS! I wish I were there just now to see your face when you read this…

Yvonne carefully folded the letter and handed it back to Nikki. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was angry and felt ashamed and humiliated and Trisha had broken my heart when she took the baby away from me. I sat here in this office reading that letter and my whole world came crashing down around me. It didn’t matter so much that Trisha was gone but the baby that I thought was mine and loved with my whole heart wasn’t mine, it belonged to someone else. That killed me inside. Suddenly the phone rings and a nurse inform me that Trisha was involved in an accident. My first thought was of the baby, was it okay and I found myself starting to ask her about it but then I suddenly realised that it wasn’t my business anymore. For a moment I was glad the accident happened and I thought that this must be Trisha’s punishment for hurting me so much. You know the rest. You forced me to go to the hospital. There they told me that Donald didn’t make it. After some time the doctor came to inform me that Trisha also died and then he delivered the news that rocked my whole world. I was the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl. I panicked and ran away. When I got back I found both the baby and her nanny staying in my house. I’m sorry I reacted so badly. At first I blame her for all the things that had gone wrong in my life but one day I realised that my love for her had not died just because I found out that she wasn’t my baby and that I could not blame her for what her parents did to me.”

“I’m sorry for what I put you thru Nikki. If I had known, I would not have brought her to your home.”

“I’m glad you did though. I love that little girl so much Yvonne. Losing her would break my heart. I can’t imagine my life without her now.”

“I’m glad but that still doesn’t solve your problem. What are you going to do about Helen?”

“I don’t know. I’m scared to tell her how I feel Yvonne. What if she doesn’t feel the same? I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t know if I could trust someone that much again to let them get close enough to hurt me like Trisha did.”

“Being scared may cost you the love of a very beautiful and wonderful woman Nikki. Helen Stewart is not Trisha. Besides I think that you will be surprised to find that the fiery Scot loves you too. Take the chance Nikki; I don’t think you will be sorry or disappointed. You deserve to be happy.”


Part 7

Helen just sat there staring at Amy. She didn’t know what she was going to do without her. Losing both her and Nikki was going to kill her but she had no choice. She had fallen in love with Nikki Wade and there was nothing she could do about it. For a while she had hoped that maybe someday Nikki would return those feelings but that hope was dashed when Nikki introduced her to her new girlfriend
Erin Walters.

The pain was indescribable. With those few words Nikki had unknowingly broken Helen’s heart into a thousand pieces. Seeing them together became sheer torture and Helen knew that she only had one choice to make before she made a fool out of herself.

Erin must have somehow picked up on Helen’s feelings because she made it perfectly clear to Helen that she would be asked to leave as soon as she moved in with Nikki.

Helen became aware of two things simultaneously. Firstly that her cheeks were suddenly wet with tears she had tried so hard to keep in for so long now and secondly that Nikki Wade was kneeling in front of her. Concern for Helen clouding her beautiful eyes. She blinked and quickly tried to brush her tears away. But it was too late and Nikki had already seen them. Lifting her hands to Helen’s face she lightly brushed the tears away with her thumbs. Their eyes met and held and as if in slow motion Helen saw Nikki’s head move closer. This time their lips did meet and a bolt of electricity coursed through both women. When the kiss ended they were both breathless. Helen was the first to speak.

“Nikki, I…” she began but Nikki stopped her by placing her fingers over her lips.

“Shh Helen. I need to ask you something very important and I would like you to promise me that you will tell me the truth please.” She looked pleadingly at Helen.

All Helen could do was nod. She didn’t trust her voice at that moment.

Nikki took a deep breath before beginning. “Helen I just wanted… I just need to know…?” Nikki’s voice faltered for a moment. Clearing her throat she tried again. “Do you think that you could ever fall in love with me Helen?”

Helen swallowed heart and thought about lying but looking into Nikki’s face she knew that she would have to answer truthfully. “Yes…” came her soft reply and Nikki closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them she was looking into the deep green pools of Helen’s eyes.

“Helen, are you in love with me…?”

Again Helen had to reply truthfully. “Yes…”

Nikki were drowning in Helen’s eyes. She was so overwhelmed with emotion her own tears began to fell unchecked. “Thank you…” she whispered.

Nikki pulled Helen into her arms and kissed her hungrily. When they separated she spoke softly to Helen. “I have loved you for so long now Helen. I was so afraid of being rejected that I almost let you slip out of my life. When Yvonne told me that you were planning on leaving I thought I was going to die. I suddenly realised that I had to tell you how I feel or loose you forever. Please say that you will stay here with Amy and me. We need you like we need the air that we breathe to continue living. Without you we will surely die.”

“I thought I had lost my chance at happiness that day you brought Erin home Nikki. I tried to convince myself for so long that I didn’t love you but I couldn’t succeed. The thought of leaving you and Amy was killing me, but I couldn’t stay here and watch the two of you play happy family anymore.”

“I’m ashamed of the way I treated you and also Erin in this whole matter, but I was trying to protect myself. I knew I didn’t love Erin so she couldn’t hurt me, so I used her to protect my heart from breaking because I never thought that you could ever find it in your heart to love me the way I did you. I had a long talk with Erin before I came here and I explained to her why things between us could not work out. I told her that I am in love with you and that I would do anything humanly possible to try and get you to love me too. Amazingly she did understand after she slapped me and swore at me a few times for leading her on. Please Helen say that you understand and forgive me for hurting you so much. My only excuse for my behaviour is that I was terrified of getting hurt again.”

Nikki looked deep into Helen’s eyes, her own eyes pleading with her to understand why she did what she did. “I love you with all my heart Helen.” she whispered close to tears.

Helen stepped closer and pulled Nikki’s head down for another deep kiss. When their lips parted she whispered against Nikki’s soft lips. “And I love you Nikki with everything that I am…”

It was quiet for a long time after that. Suddenly the quiet was broken by a delightful gurgle of a small child. Helen and Nikki broke apart, smiled at each other and arm in arm they walked towards Amy’s playpen. Amy sat there clapping her hands excitedly giving them the impression that she gave them her blessing on their newfound happiness and love. Lifting her daughter into her arms, Nikki silently thanked Yvonne Atkins for intervening and forcing her to admit her feelings for Helen. She pulled Helen closer with her free arm and feeling her snuggle into the embrace she suddenly knew that they had a bright future waiting for them. She had everything she ever wanted right there in her arms, her family. Learning how to love again had made her the happiest woman alive.

THE END

I was bored, so I have just read this little story, and loved it!

I didn't need to be bored! This story is well worth another read.

:dazzler Hey,I love this story...I read it on another board...In fact I have read it several times...*IT IS WORTH READING MORE THAN ONCE*...Thank you for sharing your talent***

Really enjoyed your story. Thank you.