Ok, all of my friends are straight and so when I'm out and about (not in a gay club) I find it hard to tell if a woman is gay or straight as sometimes it's not always obvious.

So any tips or things to look for would be helpful and I have been told that if you wear a ring on your little finger on your left hand then that tells others that your gay ......... does anyone know if this is true ????

God, this is like the essential question, isn't it? There's no easy answer. While there might be some women who wear something which clues others in, lots and lots of gay women just aren't going to be doing that (I mean, I don't).

The more you meet and hang out with gay women, the more you can start seeing the more subtle cues, which aren't about hair or clothes, but about how a woman looks at other women. But even after my 16 years being gay, I wouldn't try to pick up a woman in a straight bar/club. Or even be on the lookout for gay women in such an environment. It's too much of a needle in a haystack situation, and likely to be depressing/demoralizing.

You've basically got three choices if your goal is to find women to date:
1. Make friends first, with the hope it will become romantic later. So you'll wind up making friends with straight and gay women, and you won't be sure what the potential is, but you'll have to be patient and see what grows.
2. Find some friends (straight or gay) who are willing to go to gay places with you (bars, coffeeshops, whatever).
3. Depending on where you live, there may be gay groups you can join, whether it's a sports thing, or a book group, or a political organization. Then you'll meet people where you have something in common, and you'll know for sure they're gay.

Thanks abzug, I do try to make friends with the women I like but they always turn out to be straight ha ha ha.
I would never take the chance, especially where I live, in chatting someone up unless they were wearing a t shirt saying "I am gay, go for it".

I thought my gym would be a good place to find someone but thats proving more difficult than I thought.

But I will take your advice on board and let you know how I get on .... :hug2

Having exactly the same problem here too flojo - Duff Gaydar!

Now have lots and lots of lovely straight friends! :friends2

Lonely sometimes though aint it? Maybe its just an East England thing, too many tractors!

Take care :hug2

PS. Great sport rugby eh?

Hi flojo, Welcome to the board.

I take it where you are from is rural and conservative. I'm guessing from my quick google excursion to your part of the world.
Found this link under Gay and Lesbian Lincolnshire and a link for Lincolnshirepride. So there's sure to be some family up your way.

Unfortunately it's reality assume 8 out of every 10 people you meet, know, or see, are straight. That's just the law of percentages. I won't count on the pinkie ring thing, maybe you could look her up in The Directory...just kidding, bad joke. I don't know how old you are, I'm an older, out dyke who lives in extremely gay friendly Los Angeles and I still can't make any assumptions about peoples sexuality. I think the best advice I can give you is to be yourself. Be out if you can and to the degree you are comfortable. When you find yourself having a crush on somebody, just realize what you admire in her is something you already have in yourself or something you are striving for.

Of course, your idea for a Tshirt is a great one. Maybe take your own advice. :D

My significant other says that I don't look gay... so not sure what that means... other than I don't have a mullett! haa haa ( we live in the southern united states, and mulletts are still prominent!)

Wish I could help you out Flojo... I'd like to know the secret too! :) Share with us if you find the magic answer.

Yeh my gaydar has been in for repairs for ages. Im always so wrong about the woman I like.

I know it would be easy just to go to a gay club but there aren't any around me and none of my close friends who know Im gay have any gay female friends to introduce me too.

Think my only option is to wait for someone to chat me up ...... but think I'll be waiting for a long time !!!! :cry1

Thanks for the advice and I know what you mean but although Im quite old, Im not quite ou there yet. Oooo sorry this is turning into an "Agony Aunt" thread :D

Maybe I should stop looking for someone and then maybe it will happen.

40 quite old? Oh don't say that! I'm 38 and the only thing I'm hanging onto is the hope that old doesn't happen for at least another 10 years!

....Darn it now I'm going to have to hide from Huskies Fan! :rofl :rofl

Arrrgh! If you all are thinking 38 and 40 are old... Man, I'm a goner... I turned 43 last week. :{

Ha ha ha Noooooo I don't think 40 is too old for anything !!!!! I just said that as most of the BG's message board I have been on, most of the peeps ar in their teens.

Don't forget that you are only as old as you feel. But as far looking to see who's gay or straight, think I will just look and smile, if I get a smile back then I guess that a start.

Little Red, Im hanging onto the fact that everyone tells me that I don't look 40, much younger beofre you say "what 50" ha ha ha