It might be the stupidest thing to do. Posting a story before it's finished. (you'll understand later) But i've been hopelessly stuck with it for far too long, so perhaps some feedback will get me back on track.


Title: If love was enough
Author: Jules2
Disclaimer: I don’t own Nikki/Helen or Bad Girls, SHED owns it all. I promise to give them back unharmed.
Feedback: Of course
NOTE 1: I’m not British.
NOTE 2: Nor am I funny.
Note 3: My apologies on both. See above: re: British/ funny
Note 4: Thanks to Jeanna for Beta'ing



Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end, but I have trouble keeping myself to this order of things. Because where is the end? Here, because I live now? In a number of years when I stop living? And where is the beginning? When I met him? Or her? Or all the people I met before him and her. Or shall I begin with my birth where the whole of my story starts.

Shall I tell exhausting stories about my childhood years, my parents, my brother who committed suicide? Shall I go deeper into the stories and tell you about losing my virginity and everything that happened next. Or is that the middle part and has the beginning proven to be unclear?

I remember a lot of things. I remember his soft lips and the smell of her perfume. His arms around my middle when he holds me and the way she makes me feel when we make love. Perhaps I remember it more beautifully than the actual experience. But I also remember it with pain in my heart because he left and I let her go.

Winter 2005


“Hurry up, Helen. We’ll be late,” Adam called out annoyed, “You said you’d be done in five minutes,” he continued while walking into the bedroom.

“Don’t you know by now that five more minutes means half an hour when a woman is getting dressed?” I threw back at him. I hate it when he’s annoyed.

I wasn’t sure why he was annoyed anyway. It’s not his best friends birthday. I put the finishing touches of make-up on and checked my reflection. The burgundy cocktail dress looked good and I felt beautiful in it. When I turned around I saw Adam looking at me. Well, more staring than looking.

“Wow, you look amazing.” He walked over to me and gave me a kiss on my lips. I loved the smell of his aftershave. Adam was wearing a light yellow buttoned shirt and ivory black pants.

“You’re forgiven.”

“Are you ready?” he asked me gently.

“Yes. Do you think Zoe will like the book I got her?”

“I’m sure she will. Anyway, isn’t it the thought that counts?” I know he meant well, but what sort of an answer is that? Something constructive might have been nice. Like: “How about getting some flowers.” Flowers are always nice. I like flowers. Especially roses. They are my favorite. I know Zoe really likes flowers as well.

Zoe, my beautiful friend Zoe. We’ve known each other for ever. And we’ll continue being best mates for even longer then that. She was my geeky friend with glasses during secondary school, but gradually turned into a beautiful swan. Her graceful body and brown eyes got a lot of attention from all around. Men wanted to date her. Women wanted to be her. But I think it is her hair that I’m most jealous off. Whether she goes for an out-of-bed look or for elegant it always shines the way it does in shampoo commercials. It’s dark brown that sometimes has a reddish glow over it. It’s long and thick and not on equal length which makes her hair dance a little. She tells me there’s nothing really special she does to get it to shine like that, but whatever she is doing, it sure works. I’ve written it off to good genes long ago.

My best friend is turning 32 and she probably invited too many friends and co-workers to fit in her tiny apartment. Which makes it all the more charming to be there. People mingle a lot because there aren’t enough seats. Last year I had a really nice conversation with a new lawyer friend of Zoe. Zoe on the other hand will probably do a piss poor job of playing hostess and stand somewhere chatting and laughing with people I don’t know for most of the evening. Wine glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

We were 15 when we smoked our first cigarette. Zoe took some from her mothers purse. It was all very secretive. It was exciting to try it for the first time, but I took one drag and was cured for life. She was too for a while, but her first serious boyfriend smoked and got her hooked. She continuously says she’ll quit, but I’ve never seen her try. We all have our habits. This is hers. I’m sure I have mine.

We arrived at the party around half ten. It was crowded already. Lot’s of vaguely familiar faces. Lots of completely unfamiliar faces. I found Zoe in the kitchen and sure enough with a cigarette and a wine glass in her hands. She put down the wineglass to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She was glowing with happiness and I was determent to find out later what was the cause. She introduced me to a woman who’s name I forgot as soon as I heard it. I gave Zoe the flowers I bought on the way and she ripped open the rapping paper to see what I gave her.

“Just a nice book for long nights” I told her.

“Thanks Helen. I love it!” her smile told me I made the right choice and that pleased me.

“How are you?” she asked.

“I’m good. How are you? You are positively glowing!”

Zoe was about to answer when another couple entered the kitchen to wish her a happy birthday. Zoe took a step towards them and turned to say:

“Have some wine Helen. We’ll speak later, yeah?” I smiled because I knew this would happen and because I saw her own wineglass still standing on the kitchen counter. She forgot it somewhere between hugs and kisses. Knowing Zoe, it wouldn’t take long before she would simply have some poor bugger get her another glass.

“What do you want, Helen?” Adam asked.

“I’ll have a beer, thanks.”

Adam handed me the beer and we walked into the living room. He saw a familiar face and we walked over to the guy and his girlfriend. They seemed to know each other from work, but it was a co-worker I had never been introduced to. His name was Harry and he turned out to work in finance. Adam and Harry discussed work for a while and I made an effort to listen and contribute to the conversation. It just got to a part that I got bored and decided to get some more beer in the kitchen. Maybe Zoe would have a few minutes, so I could talk to her before I would return to Adam.

I walked into the kitchen and that is where I saw her. Wearing a dark grey tailored suit which looked great with her short black hair. Her make-up was impeccable. My heart felt warm and glowing when she saw me and smiled in recognition.

“Helen, how are you?”

“I’m good, how are you? What a surprise to see you here!”

“A nice surprise I hope. What lovely it is to see you. How do you know Zoe?”

“We’ve been best friends for donkey’s years. How do you know Zoe?”

“I don’t really. Kate knows her from work.” Upon hearing her name a blond woman took her place and Nikki’s side and put her arm around Nikki’s waist.

“How long has it been?” Nikki wanted to know.

For a moment I couldn’t think. Seeing Nikki again in my best friends house with a blond woman’s hand around her waist was a little unnerving. Images of the last time I had seen Nikki became a little bit too vivid. Where was Emilia?

“Uhh, not since August. You look good.”

“Thank you. So do you. Your hair is longer. It looks nice on you.” I had let my hair grow these last few months. It was now a little longer than shoulder length. Sometimes I would still tuck bits of hair behind an ear. Adam said I do that when I’m nervous or uncomfortable. He says that I don’t know what to do with my hands so I use them for something trivial. In any case I just think it is nice to not have my hair in my face all the time.

Nikki kept looking at me when I didn’t respond. Her soulful eyes kept my gaze and I was unable to break it. What makes it that I respond to her in this way? Why does it feel so good to be around her?

Kate squeezed Nikki’s waits and said, “Come on, Nikki. Why don’t we go to the living room?” And then she said to me, “It was nice to meet you.” She smiled and took a step to move towards the living room. Nikki was still holding my gaze. It took a few seconds before she broke it and said,

“Here is my card,” taking a small white business card from her inside pocket, “I’d love to do lunch sometime.”

And with that, she was gone.

Wow! Great start will be looking forward to the next part. I'm thinking it's Helen telling the story. :popcorn :popcorn

Wow, what a brilliant start! I hope you will share more of this story with us soon. Thanks

I have to concur with the others that this is a great start. I like your style. Please update soon. :drinkies

Such a gripping first chapter! I can't wait to see where you take this...

On the edge of my seat

~Emms

I love it...please continue!! Great start!

Absolutely wonderful! I'm hoping th "letting her go" part has happened before this point in time.. great story, please continue.,.

Really great start! I like your intro, kind of explains but kind of confuses all at the same time. :D I can't wait for more!

What a great start... can't wait to read more soon :) Thanks

Yes, I agree, what a lovely little gem.... Thanks for this one. Great start. S :)

:clap BRAVO!! Keep it going!!!

Please, PLEASE keep writing! I always look forward to new stories, as I'm sure all of us here do.

Great start to what seems to be a great story.

Fantastic start.

Great start...

This is good...and intriquing. :clap

Please continue.

I love a new story!! I do hope you continue..... :D :popcorn

:fanfic Great start ... You have me intrigued. Hope to see more soon. :)

A great start to what looks to be a promising story i hope we get some more from you soon

Thank you all for the wonderful comments. It has helped me to continue this story.

Please be patient for the next part. It will come soon!

Once again, thank you all for reading my story and leaving the comments. It's great to have such a support and i hope you like how the story continues...




Beginning of Summer 2005

“How is Marco doing?” I asked Zoe. It was late on a Friday night and I was over at Zoe’s house celebrating the weekend.

Marco was Zoe’s new boyfriend who she found absolutely divine. Tall, dark and handsome, he was every woman’s dream. They met at the gym and hit it right off and the two of them had been inseparable ever since. It looked good to see Zoe shine with love and I was very happy for her. Marco was indeed a very nice man. He was just three years older than her and a true business man. He had to travel quite a bit for work and he could broker deals that involved hundreds of thousands of pounds, but in his personal life he was a sweetheart. He would do anything for family and he’d go to the moon and back for Zoe. Sometimes I was a little worried that it all sounded a little too good to be true, but then Zoe told me about their first fight and my heart was a little easier.

“He’s fine! Yesterday he flew to China of all places.”

“Nice! Didn’t you want to go with him?”

“Not very nice. He’ll just be there for six days, but in those six days he’ll have to take seven different flights just to get there and back. He’ll be exhausted when he gets home. Besides, I have a couple of cases I cannot just give to someone else at a moment's notice!”

“Anything I would have heard of?”

“Nothing that would stick out. A few assault charges and a man accused of murdering his wife.”

“Did he do it?”

“The evidence is strong, so it should be a piece of cake to prosecute. I’m very optimistic.”

Zoe had always wanted to become a family lawyer and handle divorce cases. She once told me that she wanted to make separation a little easier on everybody. Zoe could be so naïve at times. But then a cousin of hers was raped and she saw the case be thrown out on a technicality. I think that is when she vowed to do better. In Zoe’s mind she gets justice for her cousin with every criminal she puts away. And the rare cases that she does lose, are never lost on technicalities.

“What about you?” Zoe opened a bottle of wine and poured me a glass.

“What about me?”

“How is work? How is Adam? I haven’t seen him in a while!”

“He’s fine and sends his love.”

“And work?”

I think she could see the hardship on my face. It had been a hard week for me.
“Do you remember I told you about the baby who was sick?”

A few months ago I got called in on an expected abuse case. A mom kept taking her baby to the A&E to get checked out because the, few weeks old, baby kept throwing up and the doctors couldn’t find out what was wrong with her. Finally they thought the mother might be suffering from Munchausen’s by Proxy; a disease where caretakers injure children or elderly to get attention.

The hospital wanted to know if there was a way to keep the mother away from the child. I was just called in and still doing an extensive history when the doctors finally diagnosed the child with a rare childhood disease. Something about mitochondria that didn’t absorb the nutrients normally. So the good news was that the mother wasn’t abusing her baby. The terrible news was that the baby would not live beyond a few months. I told the mother that she should call me if there was anything she needed. Or if she wanted to talk. She declined the offer, saying she had family support. I left the file open just in case she needed help in a hurry. I wasn’t sure what I could do for her, but I wanted to help in anyway I could.

This week I got a phone call. The woman said that the baby had died. I asked her what happened and she said that she was doing groceries and the baby was in the car seat on top of the shopping cart. She was standing in line for the till when she saw how her baby took her last breath. She didn’t say anything, because she didn’t need a panic in the shop, but she cried in the car and finally her husband had to pick her up because she was unable to drive.

“She died this week,” I looked sad, “and to top it off the mother of another family killed herself on Wednesday.” I was silent for a while. “All in all not a very good week.”

The other family had asked for our help. There were three young children aged nine, seven and two. The mother had become deeply depressed and was in and out of hospitals. The father had trouble keeping the family together with a full time job. They had no immediate family in London and while the neighbors and school were trying to help out, it was not enough.

“The mother had done previous suicide attempts, but wasn’t successful and the irony was that the father had told his eldest boys just days prior that he didn’t think mummy was going to be with them much longer.” I said while staring into thin air.

“What happened?”

“She got the panels out of the ceiling and hung herself with the sheet she was sleeping under. I don’t know all the details.”

“You okay, Helen?”

“Yeah,” I took a deep breath, “I will be.”

“You mustn’t let this affect you so much! You’ll wear yourself out!”

I smiled. “That’s exactly what Nikki said.”

“Well, Nikki is a smart woman!” Pause. “She cares for you, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can see it when she looks at you, Helen. Didn’t you know?” Memories of the kiss came flooding back.

“Yeah, I did know.” And I couldn't help but lay a finger on my bottom lip.

“What happened?” Zoe asked.

“She kissed me,” I finally said.

“She what?!”

“She kissed me.”

“Oh my God,” Zoe reacted amused, “So, what was it like?”

How could I tell my best friend that this one kiss changed me. Changed everything I thought to be true about myself. That I never knew what it felt to be utterly aroused because of one kiss. So in the end all I lightheartedly said,

“You squeaky little twat, I’m not telling you that!”

“Ohh come on Helen!”

“No, get your own girlfriend and find out!”

“I have.” she simply said. I had just taken a sip of wine and was trying hard not to choke on it.

“What?!”

“Sure, ages ago. It was good!” making it sound like going to the office.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I wanted to know.

“It was no big deal. Besides, I wasn’t in love with her.” Letting the statement hang in the air for a while. In the end she asked, “Do you love her?”

I thought about the question for a while and unconsciously I touched my lips with my fingers again.

“I don’t know,” I finally admitted, “I’m confused.”

“Look Helen, you know I adore Adam and I think you and he are great together. But it is hard to find someone you love who will love you back. The stakes are never in your favor and when women come together… Women’s love for each other can be so beautiful and inspiring and profound that it deserves to be cheered. You know I’ll support you no matter what, right?!”

Yes, I did know that and I was very happy that she was there for me.

“And Nikki is a hot looking woman… I mean, you have jeans and then you have genes and rarely have two fitted so well together!”

“Zoe!”

Jules, thanks for the update!

I'm hooked on this one!

I love that line!!!

Very nice story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I love new stories and this one is great, next chapter please

:D Totally enthralled!!

Very nice!! More please! :write

Very interesting...it is nice to see Zoe being supportive of 2 women being together. Hopefully she will help Helen get together with Nikki. Great writing, can't wait for the next part.

nice update

Great update, Thanks :D

awesome update

I don't know why I have not commented on this story before...I have enjoyed the first two chapters very much. I especially liked the way you played with pronouns in the opening bit, nicely written!

Let's hear about that kiss!

The way you write dialogue gives this story a very fluid feel. I like it.

great writing. I can't wait for the next chapter.

xoxo
Emms

Emms,

Thank you so much for the compliment. Writing dialogue is the hardest thing for me and i'm always bugging Jeanna (my beta-reader) to check if it sounds believeble. So this is a really big compliment for me! I hope to keep it up!

5mins,

English is not my first language. Please explain what you mean by:
"I especially liked the way you played with pronouns in the opening bit"

Aspecially the word 'pronouns.' I looked it up by didn't quite understand....


Sappire,

"Hopefully she will help Helen get together with Nikki."

I'm not telling!! :D

Jules

She means this charming bit. He/She, back and forth in the same sentence.

That is the bit!

Great update. What happens next? Will Helen call Nikki for lunch. ;)

I loved the pronoun bit too! Great update indeed.... :) Thanks for the story, and don't let us miss the next kiss... ;) S

I think you story is fantastic. Will Helen call.

great update! :wub: :wub: :wub: