Wondering where the letter 'B' is? It's in the 18+ thread. :)

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Title: Hold Fast
Author: coolbyrne
Pairing: H/N implied
Rating: G
Word count: 323



From the moment they bang you up, it’s all about control. No, I suppose that’s wrong, innit? If I’m honest with myself, it started much sooner. From the moment I walked in and saw Trish with tears in her eyes and that bastard Gossard with a leer on his face and his hand between her legs, I lost control and I’ve never gotten it back. Now, here I am, stuck in a shit hole where they tell me when to wake up, when to wash up, when to eat, when to work, when to go to sleep. If they could, they’d bloody well tell us when to breathe. Anyone who doesn’t think prison time is punishment enough for even the worst of crimes has never spent a day without freedom. Everything in this place is designed to strip you of any sliver of imagination, from the walls to the food to the routine. I watch women hold fast to anything that makes them individuals, anything that takes them out of this place. The drugs, the sex, their family, their futures.

You.

That’s what I have and the irony doesn’t escape me, believe me. That in a place where control is the rule of the day, every day, I should find escape through a situation that epitomizes the word. You, the noble, ethically driven governor; me, the stubborn cop-killer. I’m almost suffocated by the control that curls around my spirit like an endless chain, and yet, I find a freedom with you that I can’t explain; a freedom in me that goes beyond the mundane vessel of my body and the thick walls of this oppressive place. I see you and my heart literally soars. I grin like an idiot when I see you walk into a room. My breath catches in my throat at the slightest touch.

And I don’t give a toss.

Let the bastards try and take that away from me.


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That was well put together, well done. It really showed Nikki's view of Helen. I like these short stories, they're short enough to read at once but are also a great length to make them effective.

Hiya coolbyrne, very nicely done. Is there somewhere I can find some of your longer Bad Girls fanfic online?

These little snippet-stories are basically all I have in terms of Bad Girls fic. I do have a very, very, VERY long one that takes place in Larkhall, but it is Olivia Benson (L&O:SVU)/Nikki Wade. While it's really only a temporary pairing (based on the premise of the plot), I didn't think it would be prudent to post it here! But if you like (or anyone else who's interested!), you can check out other fics I've written over at my fic site. :)

Will you be posting other alphabet ones here? Coz i think they're fab!

Yeah. I've made it up to the letter "H", before my muse decided it was too bloody hot here and went for cooler climates. :) But I think if I spend the day lounging in the air-conditioned library, she might return...

Ah, well, my gf would enjoy that quite a bit. But let me be the first to encourage you to write a longer Helen-Nikki piece. I'm sure everyone here would love it.

Ok, i'll look forward to more of them then :)

Thanks. :)

Despite writing one or two short stories from a Helen-POV, my hesitation is the fact that I don't really feel like I have a handle on the character (no pun), so I don't feel comfortable writing anything too long. (Anyone familiar with my fics or me as a writer knows that I'm reeeeeeeeeally a stickler when it comes to being true to the character as SHED wrote them- their motivations, not necessarily the plots; some of my favourite BG fics are AU.) Nikki? I "get" that character 100%. Helen? I often struggle trying to find her motivations.

Anyway, that's not to say I won't make an attempt in the future! Thanks for the encouragement. :)

Oh, and if your gf ends up reading "Out of Context" (the OB/NW fic), I'd be interested in what she thinks!

Yay, a stickler for characterization. That's excellent! There are some great discussions on this very board which might help you with understanding Helen a little better. A number of us have puzzled over Helen for a very long time, analyzing everything with a fine-tooth comb.

Here are some good threads to check out:
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=158

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=171

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=175

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=163

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=160

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=424

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...hp?showtopic=58

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=140

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...hp?showtopic=60

This last one isn't so much Helen-related, but it does have some great stuff about the happy ending and how they got there:
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=159

Some helpful threads from the archives:
http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=324

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=315

http://z4.invisionfree.com/Nikki_and_Helen...p?showtopic=275

Anyway, hopefully some of that discussion will be helpful to you in terms of getting a more instinctive understanding of Helen. And if there are any aspects of Helen which still don't make sense to you, I'm sure many of the folks here would be happy to discuss them, put forth theories etc.

Brilliant once again

You get'em...you got'em both!!