Title: The Reality of Things
Author: coolbyrne
Pairing: Nikki/Helen
Rating: G
Word Count: 535
A/N: Inspired by G.L.Dartt’s “After Larkhall” series, which I think was one of the first fics to examine what the N/H relationship would really be like in those early days after Nikki’s release. There is an honesty in it that looks beyond the standard “happily ever after” approach. I meant to make this fic longer, but ended up making it a snippet. Maybe one day I’ll revisit it. (For the LJ community "gwing_soup" alphabet challenge.)
Summary: “I” is for “imaginary” Nikki POV


--


It hasn’t been an easy year for us, has it? Completely my fault, no question. That first month, I very nearly kicked you out of bed every night, didn’t I? You must have grown tired of hearing me explain it was because I had gotten used to three years of sleeping alone, curled up on a tiny cot. But you never complained, despite a few threats about me sleeping on the couch. Now, of course, I’ve gone the opposite way and won’t let go of you in bed. I keep waiting to hear that same threat about the couch, but it’s never come.

Do you remember that first night? After a few drinks at Chix, we decided against food and went straight back to your place. But as we approached the steps, I faltered outside your door, the magnitude not only of the moment but of the last four years of my life hitting me at last. You seemed to understand, because you took my hand and led me upstairs to the loo. Running the water, you told me to have a nice wash up and you’d make tea. Five minutes later I was downstairs, washed and in your robe that ridiculously came up above my knee. I had kept waiting for the water to get turned off, but was too embarrassed to tell you as much when you asked what was wrong. With two glasses of wine in your hand, you once again led me upstairs, and this time, ran a bath. A bath! Though not an uncommon thing in Larkhall, I had never indulged; I thought there was something incredibly vulnerable about taking a bath in that environment. And yet there you were, running one as if it meant nothing. But it meant everything. You sat behind me in the huge tub and with your arms and your legs around me, I never felt so safe.

That was a year ago, and here we are, like colts, finally finding our legs underneath us and standing with more strength than we ever thought possible.

I’ve lived this life, you know. In my head. My imaginary world I could retreat to when the nights in Larkhall got unbearably lonely. I’d play out certain scenarios and moments; what I would say, what you would do. I’d try and re-create your scent, the softness of your skin under my fingers, draw your smile with bits and bobs of memory.

It’s when I look across the room at you, my book left forgotten on my lap that I realize how inadequate that imaginary world was –because what you do to my heart can’t be reduced to a simple list of items. I watch you at the dining room table, the newspaper spread out before you, your left hand reaching up in a familiar gesture to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, a small line between your brows forming in response to something that’s caught your attention, and I smile.

You must feel my eyes on you, because you glance up and meet my gaze. “What is it?” you ask with a smile of your own.

“Nothing,” I reply with a slight shake of my head. “Everything.”



-end

I liked this one too, I was wondering whether there were going to be anymore of these stories on their way.

They're like buses; you wait and wait for one, and then two come along at once!

I think that was so good. I could just imagine how Nikki was feeling and you could imagine the pair of them in this situation. Some more would be nice I must admit :D

LOL! No, that's it right now. But I know what you mean- they always come in twos or threes. Because they're such short stories, my muse has a tendency to be able to focus more than if it was a long one. I'm glad you like them, though! :)


-coolbyrne

"J"..is by far the easiest letter..right there middle key, middle row, and it's probably going to be " justice"so off you go!

No, it's "journal". :lol: Check out gwing_soup on LiveJournal for the complete list of prompts.


-coolbyrne

Journal eh?Too weird... If I ever figure out how to post a story.. Thanks for the heads up. loved 'Duct'

Just type out your story in Word, then copy and paste it into your post. Easy-peasy.

Hope it's easy and I don't get stuck on peasy. Cheers

I loved this.