This is a Helen & Nikki Bad Girls fanfic, standard disclaimers apply.

All feedback &/or criticism both welcome & encouraged: positive or negative; in brief or at length; in public or by PM. Thanks!



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Where just a moment ago there'd been no distance at all between them, suddenly there was sound and light, movement. Helen blinked. 'What--?'

'D'y think he's right, we should get a room?'

'Mm? Oh, that bloke. You reckon?' Helen grinned, glanced around once more: still broad daylight, busy city street. Sod it. 'Nikki, we need to figure out--'

'Trish. Yeah.'

Helen cast about. 'Over there?... bench.'

'Right. Bench.' Nikki still had her hands on Helen's arms, she let go only so they could walk. Twenty yards, how complicated was that? ...her head wasn't working at all. Neither were her feet.

They navigated their way to the bench; sat, gazed at each other.

'Hiya.'

'Helen.' Nikki smiled; looked suddenly puzzled; then sighed and ran a hand through her hair. 'Okay, let's uh--focus, this is important. What do you think? Go back in, say our goodbyes? She went to a lot of trouble over this.'

'It's not just the party.'

'I know. ...shit. Just--give me a minute....' She took a breath, her eyes closed inadvertently. Helen's perfume was very subtle, nothing floral or musky... a light base note, just a hint of something sweet but clean; very nice edge on top, a bit spicy. She opened her eyes when she felt Helen's on her like touch. 'I want to find every place you apply scent.'

'Mm. What if it changes day to day?'

'Even better. Um. Okay, right. Thinking.' Nikki dragged her eyes from Helen. The sun glinted off the windows opposite; she shielded her brow as if glimpsing land from open water. The sheer volume of activity seemed oddly foreign: cars, buses, pedestrians in ceaseless motion, and the racket!--taxis honking, a vendor hawking falafel--the birds, they'd never sounded this loud before, had they? All of it available to her senses, all free, such simple things.

'God. I can't take it in.'

'I can't imagine.'

Nikki turned to Helen, kissed her hand. 'We're going to live well, Helen. I promise you, I'll--'

'If I cared about money I'd've never joined the prison service.'

'I didn't mean that.'

'Just checking.'

Nikki marvelled, the sight of the woman's grin alone--. Bloody hell they had to get out of here.

'I can hardly believe it myself,' Helen said quietly. 'I feel incredibly lucky.'

'Whatever you want. I hope... I'll work at improving my--'

'Nikki.'

Nikki stilled. 'Okay.' She blew out air. 'I'm mentally snogging you, which is making it hard to speak, but lemme give it a try--what's better for Trish, right? Going in, both of us... and then we'd have to make the rounds... mingle. But... walking off without a word? I can't do that.'

Helen grimaced. 'Neither's better for Trish.'

'Yeah. But--she knew, Helen. I was hardly there...' Nikki cleared her throat and looked down. 'She made a choice. She'll come to terms with it. Anyway--she ah. Heard. You know.'

'Oh. Your speech.'

'Yeah.'

Helen exhaled. 'Isn't to say she doesn't still want you.'

'Who d'y think sent me out looking for you?'

'Really.'

'Really.'

They sat for another few minutes.

Nikki sighed. 'We've been gone awhile. That's sort of a statement, don't you think?'

''kinnell.' Helen rubbed her forehead. 'No one's in the wrong here, are they. So why does it feel--' Nikki elbowed her. 'Eh? Ah.'

Nikki thought Trish a good deal closer to drunk than she'd been such a short while ago: she walked with the overcautiously correct posture of one whose relation to gravity was a matter of some consternation. Trish clasped an opened bottle of Moët in one hand; another was slung somewhat perilously under her arm.

'...f'chrissakes, what are you doing out here?'

Nikki cocked her head at Trish and smiled. 'Could ask you the same question.'

'Taking the party to you, 'course.' Trish thrust the unopened bottle towards Helen. 'My spies inform me you've been making a spectacle of yourselves, I've a perfectly good club for that, you know.' Helen accepted the bottle with a nod of thanks, wishing she had the first clue whether there was a protocol for this sort of situation. She gestured towards the bench; Trish shook her head.

'Cheers, not necessary. Now, you lot.' She pointed a well-manicured finger at Helen. 'Make it work or you'll have me to answer to, I'm not kissing--kidding. Tell her Nik.'

Nikki looked at Helen gravely. 'She's not sodding kissing.'

'Right. And you--' she turned to Nikki; wavered; regained herself and took a surprisingly ladylike swig from her bottle. She squinted. '...what did I just tell her?'

'I got it, babe. We'll be good.'

'Too bloody right.' Trish turned back to Helen. 'You are a babe,' she said sadly. 'Both of you.'

'You're not bad yourself,' Helen smiled easily.

'Bollocks to this, I'm gonna go and get laid.' Trish spun on her heel, teetered, found her balance.

'Keys,' said Nikki.

'Oh really, as if I don't know to take a taxi. You'd think I'd never--.' She stopped and drew herself up. She gazed unfocussed at Helen for a long beat. Helen knew what she was about to do almost before Trish did, and for all their sakes, bore the light kiss Trish bestowed on her with the best manners her parents had drummed into her, reciprocating with just the slightest pressure, what the moment demanded. And much as she wanted to, for all their sakes, Nikki didn't look away.

Helen and Nikki watched the woman walk back towards the club, much less steady than on her approach.

'Can I use your mobile?' asked Nikki calmly.

''Course,' said Helen with equal composure. She dug through her bag and passed it over.

Nikki frowned, then dialled. 'Thought I'd forgotten it for a minute there... 'lo, Paulie? Nik. ...Yeah. It is, thanks a lot. Look, can you make sure you get Trish's keys? they're not?--wait, no--check the office, her jacket's on the rack, I'll hold.' She turned to Helen and smiled. 'You are the love of my life and I bloody fucking well adore you. But if the two of you ever pull a stunt like that again, I really will not be held responsible.'

'I'm a bit new to the etiquette for all this,' Helen mulled. 'I reckoned long as she didn't think it was the blessing of the fleet and break one of those bottles over our bow we were doing fair well.'

'Bloody women--'

'Why don't I tell you what I'd adore.' Helen leaned in to Nikki's ear.

Nikki sucked in a breath. 'Ah, can you say that again, Paulie?' She tried to cover the mouthpiece. 'God we have got to--what's that? Uh... right.' Helen was just finishing her reply, which had been definite and surprisingly detailed. 'Very ah, right, nice... cheers.' She frowned absently at the mobile and gestured helplessly. 'Where's your off button?'

Helen took care of the phone. 'Haven't got one.'

'I thought the idea was to take it slow.'

'Oh, we will.'

'Mmhm. Now you mention it--' Nikki suggested several refinements in a low conversational tone. She sat back to admire her efforts.

'Thanks, yes... em. Well. A certain um, amount of that might be in order.' She threw Nikki a look. 'We're even then?'

'Mm--' Nikki slouched down and stretched out her legs, crossed them at the ankles. 'It's only I'm having a bit of trouble imagining what could possibly be more entertaining than watching a thoroughly self-possessed woman completely lose the plot. Your colour's lovely, by the way.'

'Lose the plot my arse. I'm going to make you lose the power of speech altogether.'

Nikki arched an eyebrow. 'Running a bit late on your riposte, love.'

'Excuse me? and what was that?'

'Hey, if it's the best you can manage, I understand. Really.' Nikki examined her nails guilelessly.

'Now you're for it. Consider this advance notice, wouldn't want to take you at an unfair advantage.'

Nikki laughed. 'God you're stubborn!'

'Pot and kettle, I'd say. Listen, I've had time to think--'

'Disappointing. Suppose I should be glad one of us has.'

'Sweetheart, we're nowhere near ready to talk about where to go without it getting complicated, so why don't we just stay at a hotel if you'd like?' Seeing Nikki's face she ventured, 'or you can come back to my place, we'll order takeaway--'

Nikki had to laugh. 'Christ, that will be complicated.'

'Not if you let me handle it.'

'Mm. But--our first meal, you sure?'

'Don't care, we'll call it a snack then, have a proper meal tomorrow. Better? Good. We'll have a nice long soak...'

'When you want something you're the most single-minded--'

'No idea what you're on about. Right so, have a bath--'

'A bath.' The image settled in, brought Nikki up short.

'Yeh. A long one--'

'A bath, together...' Nikki's voice was unsteady.

'Shh, it's alright. I promise, it'll be alright, believe me.' Helen pushed back a lock of Nikki's hair. 'You eaten anything today?'

'Sorry, it's only--.' Nikki shook her head. 'No, just a few beers--I couldn't, before.'

Helen stood and went to the street. Nikki wondered if her head ached from the beer, the lack of food, or the pressure finally releasing. Everything.

It certainly wasn't helped by Helen's whistle. Really, for a small woman she had the most remarkable range; a cab pulled to the kerb almost instantly. Helen leaned in to the driver, then turned back to the bench.

Nikki had risen to follow and appeared now to Helen almost as unmoored as Trish had moments before. Helen hurried to her side and with one hand gathered in the bottle, forgotten at Nikki's feet; Nikki with the other.

'Alright sweetheart, let me take you home.'

Nikki's tears caught her by surprise; she couldn't seem to stop them, either. She allowed herself to be hustled into the cab.

Helen kept a hand on the soft, thick hair and stroked her back down again, murmuring as soothingly as she knew how while shooting the occasional suggestion for shortcuts to the driver, mainly to keep him distracted.

The driver risked a backwards glance at intervals to assess his charges.

Nikki curled up against Helen's shoulder and fell asleep as if poleaxed.

'Kindly no vomiting in this cab, you must be giving notice and I will pull over, okay now?'

Helen suppressed a smile. 'She'll be just fine, no worries.'

He observed Helen in the mirror through a series of traffic lights. 'This is not, what, usual? to be having intoxication so early in the day.'

'Nothing about today was usual.'

Some miles later the driver swivelled suddenly to examine the large dishevelled black-clad bundle beside her. 'Actually I hope not a funeral madam...?'

Helen laughed. Nikki started up. 'What! I didn't do anything!'

Helen nudged her. 'Our driver was concerned for your welfare.'

'Right--' Nikki tried to pat down her hair and straighten her jacket. 'Tell him we're going... home. For a bit of supper, a long hot soak, and then, ah, a rest. The rest. We'll rest--'

'You were doing pretty well for a moment there,' Helen smiled, then ran her thumb reflectively over her bottom lip. She realised after a moment Nikki's eyes hadn't left her thumb.

'Fancy. And I didn't have to say a thing.'

Nikki made a strangled noise.

Helen touched Nikki's cheek then took her hand in her own, drew it to her mouth and kissed the back of it, formally. 'The rest we'll get to.'

Nikki moved swiftly to Helen's ear, and this time she did whisper. 'When I woke, I thought, what does it matter, where we go? Wherever we are, you know...'

Helen nodded. 'That's home,' she said simply. She clasped the hand she still held. 'Nicola,' she murmured, and lay her head back against the seat, closed her eyes briefly.

The driver pulled up neatly to the kerb in front of Helen's flat, flicked off the meter, and adjusted his rear-view mirror. 'Very good, we arrive now safe and sound with no vomiting, thank you kindly ladies.' He regarded them. 'But you are perhaps forgetting one thing?'

They looked at him in unison.

'Only I am thinking you will be wanting tea. That will be twelve pounds eighty-five, and many happy returns of the day, yes?'

First, let me just say that this story feels so RIGHT. :clap Many fanfics just imagine that Helen & Nikki run off from the party without saying goodbye, which never seemed to me like something they would do. Or they have them go back inside and be social. Which is not the sexiest idea. This fanfic seems much more realistic to me, and it enables you to flesh out some of the most immediate things they would have talked about, how they would have figured out where to go, what to do, etc. And the emphasis on dialogue rather than description really makes it come alive, and fit with the show itself (which, as well all know, is dialogue based like most television). Most impressively, I think you've really "heard" them--the characters talk as I expect them to, and subtly reveal all the character traits we know and love. OK, onto the details....

I love how it starts mid-conversation, that they're reacting to something which we can infer, but which you didn't describe (because, of course, it wasn't necessary)

This could apply to head-over-heels Nikki, as well as post-Larkhall Nikki. Still getting used to taking action.

This reverie is lovely. The involvement of all her senses (sight, smell, touch), the sensation of being looked at so strongly you can feel it, etc. And then trying to get back to reality.

Great entrance for Trish. This description tells us everything we need to know about what Trish has been doing for the last 15-20 minutes.

This dialogue is wonderful. There's so much emotion in the exchange, so much character revealed. And plus it really sounds like the three of them.

Fantastic! I love the way you've captured their flirting.

You've definitely found that balance of sexiness in what isn't said, rather than it what is. These two are smoldering, and we don't even know what they're talking about. There's also something incredibly exciting about watching them try to one-up eachother in the exchange that follows.

Lovely. We know exactly what Nikki's feeling here, and you don't need to explain it to us--you've already shown it quite clearly.

I feel like I just keep quoting sections and saying "This is great!" but again, this is really great. You've shown how overwhelmed Nikki is, by being with Helen, by being out of Larkhall, and the very physical reaction she has to Helen. All depicted in a very specific, alive kind of way.

This is a very cute way to end the story. Very English, with the whole tea business. And a way to sort of bid Helen & Nikki well and farewell for us as readers/audience members to.

One really minor thing--the cab driver's dialogue isn't clear to me. Perhaps that's as you intended? But I found those few exchanges a bit hard to follow. I wasn't sure what he was supposed to be, ethnically-speaking, although I got the feeling you had something in mind.

So, now, when are you going to expand this into a full length piece? This is chapter 1 of 15, I'd say. :)

what an absolutely lovely story! smile inducing! warm happy feeling!

'alright, love, let me take you home.' --- awwww! anytime! :D

I would have to quote and second all of Abzug's excerpts and remarks. She's so right.

But I did get the taxi driver. I was second guessing myself as a former New Yorker and wasn't at all sure to what extent the foreign born cabbie is a fixture in London as well. Wasn't sure what ethnicity...till you put me right... but I should've guessed...Indian. It sings (as does the whole story-- read it aloud--like I did <G>) when you re-read it knowing that.

This is a beautiful addition to the fanfic literature (and one that can claim that distinction) and you know how much I love it.

And the title...ingenious. See...was that so difficult? <G> Liberty...times two. Literal, figurative. Liberation. Coming Out. (A play on the actual title of the ep. from which it jumps off.) At Liberty. TAKING liberties (on a public street.) <G>


Also I have to second JT when she says:

Hi jupp, thanks, I'm glad you liked it! :)


...Hey Jeanna, long time! Thanks for your comments as well, I've a lot of respect for your take on things.

Yeah, it was! I really wanted to leave it untitled, but at least this doesn't get in the way too much. I hope.

Girl, I believe you hit every note.

I know this isn't a normal/typical fanfic for a number of reasons. I hadn't read anything quite like it before & didn't know if it'd go over. So if only even a few people get it or seem to like it I'm grateful. --bg3655


'lo there Abzug, many thanks indeed for the detailed response!

Yeah, really. There are only so many options. It's way too soon for them to go in & introduce themselves and make the rounds as a couple, the timing is wrong for everyone--and it's not cool to just dash off.

It had been bothering me about every post-Series 3 scenario I'd considered, both options seemed equally unappealing. Then I realised: since it was a problem the show had posed... why not let Nikki and Helen handle it--as a couple. One of their first moral dilemmas. To me it wasn't important they 'solve' it, only that they recognise it existed as a situation and were trying to start finding their way to some mutual understanding--as a couple--about how they'd negotiate problems in future.

It was a challenge. I aimed for as little descriptive stuff as I felt I could get away with. Tried to stay out of their heads. It's more work for the reader but in a way makes the story more dense. (I hope.) Hard to explain. There's no physical description of how the women appear etc; nothing but what's required, I wanted this pared down to give the characters maximum space.

Also I was thinking, why not take the 'givens' of fanfic (we know what they look like for god's sake) & push to see what can come from assuming those things everyone does, in fact, assume anyway. For me, it made things more immediate.

This is the decision/premise from which everything follows. If you have the guy visible, speaking, then he's a character, however minor, & it's a different story.

Doing it the way I did also means you're reading 'backwards' just a bit: Nikki speaks, Helen responds, & then you reconstruct what just happened. That's deliberate throughout so I felt it was fair to start off with an exchange that would give people a feel for it straight away. It also slows down the pace a little: just because the piece is short doesn't have to mean you cruise through it at top speed.

Thank you. It gave me a lot of pleasure so it's nice to hear someone else felt so, too. & yes, eyes closed or open there's only 1 thing filling Nikki's field of vision at the moment... so "reality" is just going to have to shift & adapt. :)

I had fun with it, all of it, actually. And I wanted to see how much range I could compress into a concentrated space. For the whole piece: how much they could feel--and how much you could feel, as reader.

How nice to know someone gets it! Yes, I had a terrific time with these bits, & wanted to enjoy them enjoying each other. They're well-matched for a number of reasons: since they're finally free to play, god knows they should begin to stretch a bit. The challenge was to have it be effective without being coy or invading their privacy.

I tried as best I knew how, throughout. Again, the idea was to leave more space for the reader to (hopefully) enjoy & react themselves. Also to reread should they want & hopefully find a few more details tucked away to consider.

Yes, I wanted their level of responsiveness to be visceral. After all... it is.


(...kinda the point.)


Again, many thanks for your comments Abzug, specific feedback like this is really helpful! bg3655

As you said..."not a normal "...fanfic...You know you're preaching to the choir...We'll get it...some of it ...most of it...never all of it...Cheers for the latitude...

This is great! I agree with others who have said you should expand.

Thanks very much tudy, for your comments here & by PM, & thank you lisa289, for the support! Very glad you liked it. :) --bg3655

Although abzug has already said it so well: great story. :)

I always enjoy stories that are moved ahead by dialogue rather than long narrative passages and I thought your characterization of Trisha was spot-on. She tends to be demonized in much Helen and Nikki fanfic, so it's nice to see her portayed as she was in the program.

Thanks for posting.

Allie

this is so brilliant. i just found it and loved it. i cant think of anything better to say that hasnt already been said though.

Hi terriw1979, it's great you & Allie wrote & makes me feel good that people took the time to say something.

Otherwise it's like leaving your wee little mite wrapped in swaddling clothes on the orphanage steps. At night. All you can do is back off and hope someone takes her in.

:)


Allie, thanks for your thoughts. My take on Trish is people demonise her as a defensive reaction on behalf of Nikki--you know, she dumped her, how could she! I felt their break-up was very human, and Trish was decent throughout the series, still supporting Nikki, clearly still and always a dear friend.

...And also, I want to respect Nikki's choices, as I can't believe she'd go out with someone shallow for ten years. ;) --bg3655

dont know how i missed this... but what a great story!!!

I read this story many moons ago, when I first started reading H&N fanfiction, and couldn't remember the title, author or posting location. But from time to time I would wonder, "Where's that story with the bench and a sweetly drunk Trisha?" Funny how those two elements stuck out in my mind as essential differences from the multitude of fanfics that pickup the story where S3 left off ... tidbits, really.

Then I found a reference on the new BGEnhanced MB that listed "Liberties" among one of the member’s all-time favorites. So I jumped back here and found a remembered morsel but forgotten delicacy. I read your story through a couple of times so I could enjoy all of the layered textures of this lovely dessert. Here I was remembering tidbits of fruit when there was an entire Viennese torte to savor: simple ingredients, densely rich flavors, exquisite presentation … a rare treat indeed.

Thank you, BG3655, for this story. Well done … a short story at its best: poetry in prose.

Thank you, Abzug, for a wonderful analysis.

And thank you, Jeanna, for revealing even more layers of “Liberties.”

what a gracious post & wonderful suprise, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts! ...I had been out of town for some weeks, and came back to find a kind note in my in-box from the people at Enhanced, saying that they had posted this link, I'm very pleased you were able to rediscover the story! It's especially nice when it has been some time since a piece was first posted - to realise readers are still finding it (or rediscovering it, in your case!) and enjoying it. ...There does some to be something about that portrayal of Trish which people really latched onto, innit? I had a great deal of fun with their dialogue, and seeing how much I could compress into how small a space - so it is extra gratifying to hear that you enjoyed rereading the piece, that's quite reassuring in terms of my intentions while writing it - and would make any writer feel wonderful! --bg3655


...I love the Viennese torte metaphor! :D

I love this! Your writing style is fantastic. Please keep writing!