Title: >> The Fall out of a Funeral
christina bones - July 8, 2007 10:12 PM (GMT)
Lately I can’t Be Happy
This is the last photo I have of my Dad. We took it just as he was getting on the plane back to the war. When it got developed he was already dead.
Someone…this is…that‘s when Mom told me about Dad. Who took this? Why do I have it?
The Funeral. I’m glad the photo of me is blurred, I don’t want my tears to be on camera. We had the traditional full military burial…it was pretty traumatic to hear them fire their guns. When I’ve seen those funerals in TV programmes, the ones with the marines I’ve always thought it was a little ridiculous. Now I understand how fitting it is.
I think about him too much, I know I do. I just miss him.
Music helps. I can go and sit on a bench near where he used to take us to play and listen to his favourite songs and stuff. Or the ones about pain. I think, I remember, I wish and I dream.
Mom took it the hardest, I mean that‘s to be expected. She went back to all the places they‘d been on their dates and just sat there. Sat and thought. Just like I do. She still worries us sometimes, we don’t know how to make it okay again for her.
Fred...well Fred‘s Fred. He‘d smile at his own funeral. But now that Dad‘s not here it‘s sort of like he needs another role model. We‘ve all noticed though. That‘s Dad‘s chair he‘s sitting in.
CJ sent me this photo of Jacob. This is how Jacob‘s coping, he‘s gone to war to fight for his country, to provide for us. I couldn‘t be prouder of him but I‘m also worried about him. I don‘t want him to die too and I‘m worried that he will. Then who will we have left to depend on?
Comments = Love