View Full Version: face [down] in the dirt

Summer of Sixty Nine > Frost Manor > face [down] in the dirt



Title: face [down] in the dirt
Description: le tag;; Cordell


delilah pratt - July 9, 2007 01:36 AM (GMT)
“I love you, Lilah,” Cordell said with a small smile perched upon his lips.
“I love you too, Dell,” Delilah replied as one of the largest smiles she’d ever worn lit up her entire face. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t feel the same way. That’s why I never said anything,” Dee continued with a quiet, nervous laugh. Cordell loved her back! It was like her biggest wish come true.
“I think we should get married before I leave. I don’t know how long I’ll be overseas fighting, so we should do it as quickly as possible.” Smiling down at his best friend, he twirled a piece of her straight hair around his index finger.
“Oh, Cordell, that sounds--”

----

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now
as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end...

Groaning, Delilah was wrenched from her favorite dream as the bedroom was flooded with the lyrics from Face Down. Why did she always seem to wake up at the best part? She’d had that dream about three times before and each time she was left yearning to know what happened after Cordell finally told her that he loved her. It was like her subconscious wanted to make her feel good, but then stopped her dream before it gave her any false hope. What a cruel, cruel subconscious she had. All right, so maybe the dream wasn’t the most realistic or logical, but Lilah still loved it.

Throwing her right arm in the general direction of the end table that housed the obnoxious alarm clock, Dee flinched when she missed the snooze button on the alarm clock. Instead, she ended up knocking a ceramic coaster to the floor with a muffled thump when it hit the carpeted ground.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

Gritting her teeth in annoyance, Delilah took another swipe at the snooze button. Feeling around for a second or so, she finally breathed a sigh of relief when the music turned off with a beep. ”’S too early,” Lilah mumbled against Cordell’s chest, an arm draped protectively across his shoulder. When Delilah had first met Cordell when they were little kids, she hadn’t been all too certain about Cordell’s habit of basically burrowing underneath her. As she and Dell grew closer and closer though, she grew used to it. That was just the way Cordell was. He needed to be protected just like she needed to be loved and accepted.

Rolling over to the edge of the queen-sized bed, Lilah forced herself to open her eyes at wake up. Even though she didn’t want to wake up (it was summer, after all), she still needed to. See, Dee had this idea that time moved slower in the mornings. She always felt so much more productive in the mornings. By the time the afternoon would roll around, she would feel as if she’d already been up for ten hours. Call the girl strange (because she really was), but she liked the feeling. Also there was the fact that most people were still half-asleep in the morning, meaning they put up with her ploys to get attention.

“You gettin’ up?” she questioned simply as she turned back over to face Cordell. It was summer vacation, after all. If Cordell wasn’t planning on getting up, then maybe she’d sleep a little longer as well. “I can make breakfast if you wanna get up now, though,” she added, not sure which option she wanted Cordell to pick. One part of her wanted to get up and fix breakfast for her family, but the other half of her wanted to sleep and enjoy not having school. The only problem with sleeping in was that Piper might make the decision to cook breakfast if Lilah slept in too long. Piper and stoves did not mix well at all. In fact, it was like throwing together a pond of gasoline and a lit match. Yeah, it was that bad.

cordell frost - July 9, 2007 02:37 AM (GMT)
    In his sleep, the bombs are going off in his dreams. He could feel himself shivering, trying to time the bombs, to outrun them. They were everywhere, ground literally exploding a foot away from him. Cordell could feel the heat on his face and the blood slowly making its way down to his arm. There! There was a gap - a spot where the bomb either hadn't been planted or hadn't gone off. Jared leaned over his shoulder and pushed him out roughly, and then he was running hard, trying to get back to the base. And as the youngest, he had to go, even if he would have preferred to stay. But he couldn't think about that, he had to make it back to camp without triggering anything or killing himself in the process. He could see camp, or at least, he thought he could see camp, and it made him run harder. Then the ground shook under his feet and the noise was deafening and the pain attacked him --

    ----

    He gasped into Lilah's chest, his eyes open and for a second, he felt confused. All he could see was white, and for a second, the fifteen year old felt as if his dream had actually happened, as if he had somehow forgotten the memories of the summer and been forced into the war. And then he took a shaky breath and reminded himself that this was just the way he slept - all burrowed into Delilah, because it was comforting. It didn't mean that he was dead - it didn't mean that he was in heaven, and it didn't mean that he had done anything. All it meant was that it was summer vacation and he wasn't allowed to freak out on summer vacation. It would wake Delilah up too, seeing as their position basically meant that if he moved, she would be disturbed. He tried to stay still, quietly breathing as not to disturb her so that he would calm down. Cordell didn't like that dream. He wanted the alarm to go off so that he could stop thinking about it and see if Lilah wanted to get up and have food.

    It should be going off anytime soon - neither of them had bothered to change it for summer, so it was still set for about seven thirty or so, which was the time they both got up during the school year. Dell usually beat the clock, but Dee liked to hit the snooze button and sleep some more. He was the one that pulled her out of bed during the school year, so he could at least let her have her summer vacation sleep while she could have it. She wasn't one to get mad at him - in fact, nobody in the household was one to get mad at the baby of the house, but he would take no chances. This was of course their last summer together, seeing as when this summer was over, the war would come asking for all of those who had passed their fifteenth birthdays. And that meant him, obviously as all the other Frost boys had gone off to war, and his father wouldn't have any of his sons left in the house. He wasn't sure how his father would adjust - things had been a little weird when his brothers had left and it was only he and Jack, but if he was gone, who would his dad have left? Not to mention, how would he fare over there?

    If his dream was any indication, he most likely wouldn't fare well, but then again, why believe his dreams? It wouldn't do him much good, especially as the war was far off now, and he had to live this last summer. Or so everyone kept telling him, but he was fairly sure that he was living something, it just wasn't this summer. So caught up in his own head, the boy didn't even notice the alarm going off, although he noticed the song playing when Lilah knocked something off the side in her attempt for the alarm. He burrowed further into her as she started waking up fully - trying to get back that sense of protection. They worked well in bed, he had to admit. She liked attention, and by his need for protection, he effectively gave her his attention in the manner in which they slept. Although to be honest - Cordell always gave her his attention whether or not she knew it. He was also glad that she'd chosen a different song for them to wake up to - there was something a little uncomfortable about waking up to his own song but really, he was made uncomfortable about it because it was for her more then anybody else knew, and always in the back of his mind, he was afraid that if she found out, she would write him off. As she rolled off to the side, Cordell stretched out in the sheets blinking as he adjusted to the morning light. It wasn't that early, but in summer, anything before ten am was early.

    He rubbed at his eyes slightly before sitting up and watching her. Cordell liked to watch her - she didn't seem to mind it for it was attention, and in a way , he found her interesting because of her gender. Yes, he was comfortable with her but the subject of her gender had always been something that interested him. He could remember wondering when he was younger why she was different from him in that gender way when they were alike enough in most of the ways. If it had not been for her gender, then again, Cordell probably wouldn't have as good sleeps as he did. He had burrowed under a few people in the years that he had been living here, but always with Delilah came the best sleep. Oh - she was speaking, and for a second, he tried to figure out what he wanted. He was hungry, this was true, but he also wanted to sleep more. Then again, if he slept again, that dream might come back. It was probably better to stay awake, so he could focus on Delilah and keep the dream away.

    The boy scooted to the end of the bed, standing up, and pulled the curtain over the window just enough to block a little bright light, but enough to ensure that they both stayed awake. His voice when he spoke was deep and a little hoarse, both from the sleep and from the fact he just didn't speak all that much. "Breakfast, Lilah?" He asked in his usual quiet manner for when he did speak, scratching his stomach slightly. As if on cue, his stomach growled in protest and he smiled. Yes - if anything that was definitely an indication that they should eat breakfast now.

delilah pratt - July 9, 2007 04:35 AM (GMT)
    Delilah watched silently as Cordell slipped out of the bed and pulled the curtains over the window. It certainly dulled the piercing glare from the morning sun, but it didn’t block out the sun completely. Dell knew them way too well. When Lilah used to sleep in her own room, she’d always have to force herself to keep her blinds open. Once the room was dark, Delilah tended to go out like a light bulb. It made her very agreeable as a child, seeing as she never had to be coaxed into sleep.

    “Breakfast sounds good,” Delilah agreed, grinning when Cordell’s stomach growled. Living and assisting in cooking for their large ‘family,’ Lilah had learned firsthand how much boys tended/needed to eat. Even with only two males in the house, Ronnie and Dee had to work hard to keep them both well fed. Leaning back against the pillows, she closed her eyes one last time before pushing herself off of the soft, pillow top mattress. The trick was to get out of bed quickly, not to take it gradually. Sometimes, though, on the way up, one might stumble back down onto the bed. If this scenario happens, things are bad. Well, it would take quite some time. Just look for the book out in stores on July 21st. Damn J.K. Rowling stone her release date.

    Finally making it onto her feet, Lilah stretched her arms to the side before scratching at the tangled mess that was her hair after sleeping. She was dressed in her standard night clothes consisting of black shorts and a simple white t-shirt. It certainly wasn’t a very stylish choice of clothing, but the only people who ever saw her dressed so plainly was Cordell and, when she was too lazy to change, her extended family. Tugging the navy blue pony tail holder from her hair, she forced a hand through it before putting it back up in a somewhat neat bun. She didn’t have anyone to impress that morning. Jack was off counseling, Bambi was staying the night with one of her friends, and Ronnie was… Well, Delilah had no idea where Ronnie was, but she wasn’t home. Ronnie could give Lilah a run for her money when it came to cooking – something that tended to annoy the fifteen-year-old – and was usually cooking constantly. Well, at least in Dee’s opinion.

    “C’mon, Dell,” she said before muffling a yawn behind her hand. Maybe she’d be able to sneak back into their room a little while later for a nap, but she needed to make Cordell some food. Lilah loved Cordell with all her heart, but she wasn’t sure she trusted him with a stove either. Sometimes she found that he was similar to Piper in the way that he wasn’t much around the house. No, that sounded cruel. It was just with Ronnie’s specific organization methods and Delilah’s need to keep things looking functional (in hope of someone commenting on how great things looked), it was easier to stop anyone else from trying to help. That was Lilah’s opinion, at least.

    “So what d’you feel like for breakfast today?” she questioned as she led the way out of the bedroom and towards the stairs. ”I think Ronnie went to the grocery store yesterday,” she added as if that changed everything about what they would eat for breakfast.

cordell frost - July 9, 2007 07:40 PM (GMT)
    In the mornings, it was usually Dell who was the more awake one. He would dull the 'piercing rays of sun' from the window, and coax Lilah out of bed during the school year, and get her downstairs so that they could eat breakfast before they had to go off to school. Yes, he liked the summer much better..she was easier to be with in the mornings during the summer. Plus it was easier to pay attention to her in the mornings during the summer. Actually, it was easy to pay attention to her in the summer all the time because they had been spending pretty much all their days together. It would probably end once Frankie came back - and he was coming back soon, as Cordell knew. He knew his brothers were coming back soon - but he didn't know if Frankie was marching back with them, and to be kind of frank, he hoped not. But at the same time, he didn't mind so much because Delilah probably wanted Frankie to come back and he supported Delilah in whatever she wanted. Even if he didn't know why she wanted Frankie.

    He smiled back at her and looked down at his stomach. Yes, the boy ate a considerable amount but really, he was no worse then any of his brothers or his father or Cody. When all the boys were home..let's just say that the family brought a lot of groceries. Even with just him and Jack, a lot of groceries were consumed. Of course, Todd had moved out, so it was somewhat easier on the family, but all the same, they usually had to buy lots of food every week just because cooking for ten people was not an easy feat. And once the boys came back, there would probably be some sort of a Welcome Home dinner. One would think that the boys would get full with all the food that they ate, but it seemed to be a common thing in the Frost family that they were all bottomless pits. Cordell could polish off quite a large amount of food - but then, he needed his food, he was a growing boy.

    Even if he was currently quite dissatisfied with his appearance, he hoped things would change enough that girls would be leaving him alone soon. Then he'd just be able to be with Lilah..or at least until she got married and he headed off to war. He knew that he would be heading off to war after this summer, and sometimes it felt quite far away, but sometimes it hit him that his moments of burrowing under Delilah, and having mornings like this would be coming to an end. And sometimes that was enough to scare him. He didn't know if he could fight, but he knew he would have to - and he knew that his days of being the baby were starting to end. It was a war - his brothers couldn't protect him in a war as his dream had just showed him. Cordell was not generally speaking, a fighter by nature. As Jacob Bones had said once, he followed Lilah around most of the time, and was too quiet to be a fighter. Then again, Jacob just thought that he was too quiet to be normal. Maybe once he got into war, it would be easier to talk as there would hardly be any girls.

    Cordell followed her amiably, yawning slightly, but looking very much like a puppy. He was just a couple of inches taller then she was, but in his plaid pajama pants and baggy blue shirt, with his hair all over his eyes, it made him look much younger then his fifteen years of age - almost like an innocent little overgrown puppy. But he was a hungry one, and so when it came to food, he would follow a lot of people everywhere. Problematic? Maybe so, but how could it be problematic with Lilah? He thought for a while, remembering that he had cereal and toast yesterday...and plus, Delilah made good pancakes. Not as good as Ronnie's, but good enough. "Pancakes?" He asked, starting on his way down the stairs. That was too much talking for him...he should probably be quiet for now, otherwise maybe she would feel that he wasn't paying attention to her, and he should be paying attention to her. She was his best friend and other half, after all.

delilah pratt - July 10, 2007 07:37 PM (GMT)
    Wiping a piece of sleep she’d missed from the corner of her eyes, Delilah bit back another yawn as she padded quietly down the stairs. Even though she was sleepy, she couldn’t just sleep the summer away. It scared her to think about what would happen at the end of the summer, but she knew that she would be losing both Cordell and Frankie when that fateful date came around. Her only best friend left would be Abby and even she couldn’t replace Cordell. What would Lilah do without him? How would she sleep at night without Dell burrowed underneath her? What would she do when she woke up to a nightmare and had no one to comfort her? She couldn’t even stand thinking about that time. Dee’s first thought when she’d heard that Cordell was going to be drafted was that she would have to spend every second during the summer with him. Then she had remembered about the engagement and her wedding. Her wedding. That still sounded so strange. They still had the entire wedding to plan and Lilah knew once Frankie arrived home, she would be spending most of her time with him. Lilah just hoped that six months fighting had helped him ‘change.’ She kept telling herself that she loved him, but when he pushed her around, she was more frightened of him then in love. Frankie only pushed her around a little, though, and when he wasn’t, then she really enjoyed being around him. He was trying to change, too. She knew he was trying to change for her.

    “Pancakes it is then,” Delilah declared after Cordell had spoken again. He certainly was chatty that morning. What if he had a bad dream last night? Was that why he seemed more than willing to jump out of bed? Then again, Dell might have been sincerely hungry. He was still growing, after all. Was he thinking about leaving home to fight? Lilah was certainly scared for him. She wouldn’t be able to protect him over there and what if they made fun of him or gave him crap for not talking? And what if – she hated to think about this – he was hurt or, even worse, killed? He could die without even learning that she loved him. Wait, no, she had loved him, right? Gritting her teeth, Lilah forced herself not to think about the war. Cordell wasn’t leaving her for nearly three months and Frankie would be home soon. She should be happy, not depressed!

    ”This is going to be the greatest summer, Dell,” she said as she entered the kitchen. Delilah didn’t expect a reply from Cordell, but she needed to talk. If she was talking, then she wasn’t spending time in her uncertain thoughts. Sometimes Lilah was amazed by how much time Cordell could spend in his head. Sure, she knew he was listening to her whenever she spoke, but he must always be thinking about things. What, she hadn’t any idea. Dee just hoped it wasn’t about the war. Even though it was one of the topics most on her mind, she didn’t want Cordell to worry about it. If only there were some way Cordell didn’t have to leave. Wait, Frankie too. She didn’t want Frankie to leave again either, right? Right!

    Pulling open the door to the enormous pantry, Lilah pulled out the box of Bisquick (she didn’t know how to make pancakes from scratch) and the all-black skillet. Setting the skillet on the fancy stove top (Jack had money), she turned the stove on high before pulling eggs and milk from the fridge. Cooking always seemed to calm her down. It was like therapy, except for the fact that Lilah hated pouring out her feelings to her best friend’s father. Sure, she knew that therapists weren’t allowed to say anything to anything else, but she still didn’t want to risk telling him that she loved his son. I mean, talk about awkward. Setting the three eggs and milk on the counter top, Lilah paused from her work to frown. ”I’m really gonna miss you, Dell,” she said, her voice quieter than usual. Dee really didn’t want to bring the comfortable mood to an end, but she couldn’t keep it in. She was too weak.

cordell frost - July 14, 2007 07:09 PM (GMT)
    His last summer. He knew it was going to be his last summer, but still, sometimes it just hit him. Especially when he had dreams like the one he had just woken up from - and sometimes he had to wonder if he thought too overly much about the fact that this was his last summer. Cordell just wasn't much of a fighter - nor was he a lover, all he was was a thinker, and even then, that was a given. When you were as quiet as Cordell was, you had to be doing something, and he just chose to keep himself wrapped up in his thoughts. Sometimes his head got a little too small when it came to his thoughts, and those were the times that he spoke out loud, because otherwise...he wouldn't know what to do. He had practice now - not many topics built up too heavily enough in his head to make him speak. It was like his father said when he was in a counselling mood that he kept too much stuff locked up in his head, but that was often the only way things were safe. If he told anybody how he didn't want to go to war, it would get around, and then people would say all sorts of things about him being a war dodger. He didn't understand, exactly, but it seemed that if anybody expressed how they felt about the war, they were told to shut up and think about how lucky they were to be able to go and fight. Cordell didn't really want to fight, but he didn't like being made fun of either - so he kept the war in the back of his head where it would be safe, with everything else he didn't share. Delilah usually assumed that he was thinking about the war, though, and he'd rather not tell her that most of the time now, the war was losing against her for a place in his head.

    He only really spoke when he had a lot in his head - with that dream last night, some old fears had popped up in his head. It was rare for Cordell to talk though - like we said he only really talked very rarely, and that was because stuff didn't often build up in his head enough. If it did, someone distracted him enough or something happened where he needed to start sticking close to Delilah. She protected him from outside things, but from the inside of his own head - well, she made some of the stuff go away but not all of the stuff. But she was the only one that protected him all of the time, and maybe he could practically love her for that. His father protected him too, but not nearly as much, and only when he could be around. Lilah was always around, so she could always protect him. And so in return, he paid attention to her, because they were pretty much nearly always together, except for when she was with Abby.

    This was the way their relationship worked. She talked, as he followed her around and listened. The boy crossed to the table, sitting on top of it. There weren't many other people in the house this morning, or perhaps they were all doing the summer thing, and sleeping in too. He could just wait on them to wake up, after all, there wasn't times when they got to be alone in the mornings. After everybody woke up, the house was always full of people - and so he just liked being alone with Lilah because she would make pancakes and their conversation would be natural despite the fact he would be mostly silent. Most of their summer mornings were like this - this one was slightly different as he'd spoken three more times then he usually did. Cordell smiled in response to her comment, shaking his bangs out of his eyes slightly. Although as his hair just fell right back over his eyes, it didn't matter.

    He liked watching her make pancakes. It may have not been real pancakes, but he didn't particularly care that much. This was much faster then real pancakes, plus Cordell liked his pancakes still a little gooey in the middle and Lilah occasionally undercooked them slightly. Jack was always telling him not to eat it if it wasn't cooked, but it still tasted good. It was the same with chocolate chip cookies - sometimes the dough tasted better then the actual product. Cordell liked mornings like these, even though to many people, they appeared to be slightly awkward mornings just because Delilah would always try to keep some sort of conversation going and he never answered verbally. But still, it worked for them. Startled, he looked up when she brought up the topic of him leaving. Awkwardly, he pushed himself off the table and walked to her - hugging her in the most reassuring manner he could manage.

delilah pratt - July 16, 2007 07:19 PM (GMT)
    Staring down at the counter top, Delilah mentally cursed herself for saying what she’d been feeling aloud. If she didn’t want Cordell to worry about the war then why the hell was she bringing up that she would miss him? It was incredibly hypocritical. Refusing to look back up from the counter, she began to grow even more frustrated with herself when her vision started going a little blurry. What the hell was her problem today?! It must have been because of the dream. She’d never gotten all emotional after all the other times, though. Her most dominant emotion when she woke up tended to be disgust. Not disgust at the idea that Cordell actually liked her, but disgust that she could dream that when she loved – and was marrying – Frankie. She’d already gone down this road full of thoughts, though. Cordell didn’t like her that way and she was marrying Frankie. The end, no more thought directed toward that subject.

    Then Lilah felt someone’s arms wrap around her. For a split second she’d thought it was Frankie hugging her, but then she realized it was Cordell. Of course it wasn’t Frankie, he wasn’t home yet. Besides, Cordell’s hug felt much better than Frankie’s ever did. Frankie’s sometimes seemed too rough, like he thought he was going to lose her if he didn’t squeeze her guts out. Cordell’s hug was gentle, like he wasn’t sure if he should hug her or not. God, why couldn’t Frankie- Shit! There she went again, going down the long road of thoughts that would only make her feel guilty in the end. It wasn’t like Cordell and Delilah had never hugged before. They were best friends and best friends hugged. So she wasn’t doing anything wrong when she raised her arms from where they hung limp and wrapped them around Cordell. She liked how he felt. How sturdy he was. Not to mention his height. He wasn’t much taller than she was, but she liked it. Lilah would never actually admit it, but sometimes she visualized Frankie as her father. No, he would never take Finn Hunter’s spot, but he was just so much older. All right, maybe she sounded like a complete perv or something thinking that, but that was how she thought. After years of being either pushed around or ignored by Cody, having an older male care for her felt good. She felt loved.

    Burying her face against Cordell’s shoulder, she took one long breath before pulling away. She liked how Cordell smelled. He smelled clean. ”That’s a long ways away, though. Your brothers and Cody will be home soon and then everything will go back to the way it’s always been,” she said quickly, not wanting to dwell on the fact that Cordell would be leaving in less than three months. Blinking, she wiped at her glassy eyes, praying Cordell wouldn’t notice that she’d gotten teary. Or if he did notice, she just hoped he wouldn’t say anything. Lilah didn’t like expressing too much emotion. To some people they saw her as a whiny kid dying for attention and while they weren’t far off, some things she didn’t like expressing. Like her feelings she used to have for Cordell. Why did everything she seemed to think about always seem to wind up in the same spot? Everything seemed to lead up to Cordell, her non-existent feelings for him, and Frankie. It seemed like a never ending cycle.

    Moving away from Cordell, she moved back over towards the pancake-making material. If they were going to eat any time soon, she better get started. Hopefully she wouldn’t think about much while she cooked this time. Last time hadn’t seemed to work too well. Picking up one of the clean, white eggs, she cracked it on the counter’s corner before prying the thin shell open with her thumbs. ”Bambi, Ronnie, and I are planning a huge feast for when your brothers and Cody come home,” she stated as she started cracking open the second egg. Cracking open eggs was one of her favorite parts about cooking. It was like taking a beautiful object and then smashing it open. It seemed almost cruel in a way. That was life though, right? With the Government taking innocent boys and throwing them into battle, they doing the same exact thing. Sometimes the boys realized that they had a brave, golden interior, but other time the boys cracked but there was nothing good inside. Or perhaps Lilah’s lack of sleep was beginning to slowly screw up her mind?


    [[It's not the greatest, MC, but I wanted to get something up before my mom kicked me off. x_x]]




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