Sooooooooo.................... Maria has a habit of smelling fanfictions with her Fanfiction Smelling Nose™. Apart from this, we also have the wonderful adventures of Kimaro, Taya and Fox Dancing In the Cherry Trees (xDDD Don't ask). The tale of---I won't say.

This is semi-AU, for several reasons. Like the internet apparently exists, since each update is Itachi typing up a.......READ.......

Entry One

I hate my parents.

I really do.

If I could, I would bring them back and kill them. Again. Honest to goodness, what kinds of sickos name their child 'Sasuke'. Of all the names. Couldn't they have named him something a little less, well, ukish? Honestly.

Everyone else in the Uchiha clan has pretty normal names. Somehow 'Fugaku' and 'Mikoto' came out with Sasuke's name. Sure, my name means 'weasel', but at least it sounds cool and isn't spelt with any obnoxious characters that turn me into the object of ridicule among my peers. That's just what my poor, dear brother has to go through. (And me, just a bit, for being his brother! "Hey Itachi, is it genetic?")

Ever since the kids he went to school with realized what 'uke' meant, they would tease him constantly! And this only gets worse when Uzumaki Naruto comes along, and starts with:

"So, Sas-uke, (they (everyone in the goddamn village) insist upon saying Sas-uke, not Sasuke) who was on the top last night?"

And:

"What kind of surface did you lie on top of and spread your legs, Sas-uke?"

And:

"Oh noes, here comes Sas-uke! Quick, hide him from the real seme men!"

And this was when they were NINE YEARS OLD! Really, children these days.

It's even worse now that they're on a team together. Naruto's hit puberty, and so had little otouto, though because he refuses to talk anymore since every word that comes out of his mouth is twisted by Naruto (really, that boy has TOO much time on his hands). Becasue he doesn't talk, you couldn't hear his voice cracking, though Naruto's was, so it went more like this now:

"Hey, Sas-uke, who was the lucky seme last night."

He was being tormented by someone who couldn't even talk properly! If it weren't for the fact that Sasuke hates me and would probably kill me if I ever stepped foot in the village, I would have wrung the neck of that little blond bastard.

And about the whole, 'hating me' thing. I was so pissed about what my darling little brother was being made fun of for, I kinda . . . killed my parents. Then got carried away and killed everyone else for having normal names. Now, I'm a part of an awesome evil organization. It has everything: dental, high pay, shark men (even a creepy snake man at some point), and the most awesomenest nail polish. And Sasuke hates me.

Apart from the rest of the clan, I don't see why.

He hated our parents to.

As given proof to in his diar--I mean, journal.

Dear Diary Journal,

I HATE MY PARENTS! What kind of name is SasUKE???!!!!! It's sooooooo bad! And Naruto hates me for it, I'll never get together with him now--umm--ignore that last part.

--Sasu

But even if I can't help my otouto, I still watch him. (It's not spying! I'm making sure of his well-being!) To this date, he's still being teased, but luckily I don't have to endure the cracking voices of puberty anymore, or seeing his expression to the insults, because he's run off with a creepy snake man, Orochi-I-Am-A-Pedo.

LIKE THAT HELPS ANYTHING, SASUKE! He's run off with a man who has said, on several occasions:

"I want your body." "I want to be in you." "You look perfect, Sasuke-chan (at this point he'll lick his lips with his abnormally long tongue.)"

He claims it's all in the sense that Sasuke will be his body for the immortality jutsu, but I know better than that.

I think the only reason little brother went with him is because Orochi-I-Am-A-Pedo is the only person past me to call him 'Sasuke', even if there is that little '-chan' suffix. And now Sasuke wears an outift that just says, 'wheee, I'm a little uke revealing my chest as I prance around'. I'm starting to think that Naruto may be right about Sasuke being an uke.

But I still hate our parents.

Honestly.

Sincerely,

Itachi the Weasel (Redundant, I Know).

.......................

And with that, Itachi finished his first blog post.

End Chapter

..................................

Now this is making fun of how Sasuke's name is spelt. For those in the dark:

Sasuke. Now 'uke' in Japanese basically means 'submissive'. Or something along those lines. Just like 'seme' is 'dominant'. But for us fangirls: Uke means they're on the bottom of their gay relationship, while seme means they're on top. For those who don't get even that (which closet do you live in?!), I'll put it in the simplest terms available:

Seme uses Stick A and inserts it into the Slot B (technically A, but that doesn't sound as great) of Uke. xDDDDDD

that was a great Entry and it was really funny brother hit me in the head again

I love positive reviews!

Glad you enjoyed it~!

I was laughing so hard.... Ahhhh the dia- journal entry.

Yup.

My favourite part was Itahci reffering to Oro like that. xD

that was my fav part too but could you update please

Maria'll update soon.

Entry Two

Okay.... I got a letter! It's from Leader. He was been giving me the tips on Sasu. You know, so I can't kill my parents and the blond bastard. So lately.... nothing. No word from Sasu. But it's nice to know that the blond bastard and the pink monster have killed one of us. Oh well... I've always hated Sasori. Why doesn't he age! He was, like, thirty something and looked like a fucking twelve year old. Life can be so cruel at times.

OH! Kisame just told told me some marvellous news! My blog can be made public! Amazing! Maybe Sasu will see I'm not that evil! Kisame changed the settings. I also have some pretty fonts I'm not showing so I can prove my manliness. Well.... I can't really think of anything to write now... I wonder if I'll get any comments.

............................

End of entry.

............................

Comments begin.

............................

I-hate-foreheads says: Oh crap.... Itachi has a be lack of manliness. Carrying about someone's life you totally screwed up! I think you lack evilness too!

Ramen-is-life-bitch! says: Oh god! I remember that now! 'Sas-uke, who's on top night!' xD Ah... good times, good times. AND YOU'RE THE BASTARD! IT'S YOUR FAULT HE LEFT!

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy too> says: Wow.... I never knew Sas-uke was that much of a total loser...

Canine-Lovers says: HAHAHAHAHA! That's why Sas-uke left! What a looooooooser! HAHAHAHAHA!

Destiny-is-destiny says: Wow.... I.... never knew.

I-see-minds says: I hate you, Itachi! You're the reason my sweetie pie left me! I'm going to kill you!

Fish-for-life says: Crap.... maybe I shouldn't have let Ita have comments....

.......................

End of comments.

Finally, an update! Yay for Kailtyn!

Entry Three

Woooooooooooooow. I can't believe it. Comments~! Aren't I the luckiest nail-polish wearing psycho there ever was~?

Well.

That sounded gay.

Anyways, I happened to catch a glimpse of my otouto as he and Orochi-I-Am-A-Pedo and Glasses-Man moved to a new lair. Orochi-I-Am-A-Pedo was giggling and, like, stroking Sasuke. HIS HAIR. Perverts.

Poor, poor otouto.

And does anyone here know otouto's e-mail? I want to use a fake one to trick him into reading this. Really, it used to be: its_sasuke_retards@konoha
mail.com, but apparently he doesn't use that anymore.

I wonder why.

Oh wait, now I remember. Blondie and half of Konoha kept sending him things like, "Do you want to be more seme/manly?" "Do you need a penis?" "Wanna cyber, uke-chan?" And the other half would go, "Sas-uke-chan, I lurve your cute ukiness!" "Why don't you talk anymore, Sas-uke-chan?""

How do I know this?

I hacked him. It's one of the advantages of being a genius.

So , stopping for now.

Ja ne!

...................................

End of Entry

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Comments Begin

...............................

Ramen-is-life-bitch! says: He got a new one, @iloveorochimarusama.com. Most likely, since all the Oto nin have one there. Like, Kabuto! please_sleep_with_me_Oro_
sama@iloveorochimarusama.com.

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy too> says: Or Tayuya. She had screw_off_fuckers@iloveor
ochimarusama.com.

I-see-minds says: How do you know that? AND THAT BASTARD OROCHIMARU BETTER NOT TOUCH SAS-UKE-CHAN ANYMORE!

Destiny-is-destiny says: That's why he stopped using that email account? I thought it was because all missing nin have their accounts banned.

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy too> says: She gave me her email before getting totally pwned by that troublesome woman, Temari.

Sexy Sand Goddess says: And you're a lazy ass. Wow! I never knew how much like a soap opera Konoha is! I should tell Kankuro and Gaara.

Canine-Lovers says: Dude! How come lazy gets so many girls! He's like a non ukish Sas-uke! And non gay, and non-girly.....

Ramen-is-life-bitch! says: I lol'd, dog breath.

I-Hate-Everyone says: Hm. I didn't know Sas-uke was so pathetic. Did I really want to fight him?

Not-a-kitty says: This is better than Days of Our Lives~!

Fish-for-life says: I guess no one knows his email. I'll ask Trapped-In-A-Tank, he travels with them . . .

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: someone_save_me@iloveoroc
himarusama.com. SPAM HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDD

.................................

End of Comments

lol lol lol lol lol *hak* *choke* lol.... :...: please update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's funny. I like it.

OMG I LOVE THIS! LOL spam him :DDD lol ^^

YAY! HURRAH! Another entry! Yeah for Maria!

Entry Four

Thanks guys! I sent Sasu-chan an e-mail last night with my fake e-mail; not-a_fan- girl_sasuke@rockyearthlan
d.com. Deidara set it up for me. He'll never know it's me, and will probably think it's some random rock ninja. 'Course, he'll know it's me once he reads my blog, but than it's too late! MWUHAHAHAHA!

OH! While I was hacking Sasu-chan's inbox, I saw someone sent him an e-mail about evil laughing. Does anyone know who this e-mail belongs too? naked_in_Oro_tank@iloveor
ochimarusama.com
I have no idea.

Kisame said that lately my blog is the most popular. YAY! ^.^ I also saw a couple blogs from Konoha. That creepy Hyuuga girl has one, all about her creepier cousin's name. I'm so going to contact her! We have so much in common! That's probably also the reason why Neji like's Sasu-chan! They have name issues!

Oh, by the way. Yo, Blond Bastard, CHANGE THE COLOUR OF YOUR BLOG!!!!! IT'S WAY TO BRIGHT!!! X.X Same to you, pink monster.

Ugh! We got the weirdest Akatsuki member now. His name is Tobi and he's sooooooooooooo annoying. I have to share a room with Deidara now cause Tobi is stalking him. I feel bad for the guy. At least my partner doesn't stalking me, even if he is a little weird.

Well, that's all for now.

Ciao!

.......................


End of Entry


.......................


Comments begin.


.......................

Destiny-is-Destiny says: I DO NOT LIKE THAT UCHIHA!!!! Gawd.. Just because my name is weird too doesn't mean I like him. I just think he's a good opponent.

Ramen-is-life-Bitch! says: Course not, Neji. Hey, what does your name mean?

Destiny-is-Destiny says: Go read Hinata-sama's blog.

Ramen-is-life-Bitch! says: Okay. Oh, Itachi, I have no idea who sent that email. Maybe you should email Orochimaru.

i-hate-foreheads says: I recongnize it. I'll see if I've gotten any mail from them.

Timid-Girl says: Oh... Itachi... Um.... Neji-san says I should stay away from you. Sorry.

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Hey, Temari. We have a meeting tomorrow, remember?

Ramen-is-life-Bitch! says: Why aren't you emailing her?

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Her email is down.

Sexy Sand Goddess says: Okay, Lazy-ass. Then you're going to take me out for lunch.

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Whatever.

Orochimaru-sama's-best-medic! says: Itachi-kun. naked_in_Oro_tank@iloveor
ochimarusama.com is Suigetsu. One of Orochimaru-sama's 'experiments'. He's a bit of a pervert.

...................

End of comments.

xDDDD

Nice..

A tad spoiler-y, if you don't know what happened to Orochi, and don't know about Karin and Suigetsu and Juugo. Nothing serious though, just mentions of them.

Entry Five

Ahhhh. ((Sorry I haven't updated in a while!))

I am typing this up on a laptop I recently got thanks to being a member of the Akatsuki for so long. And not dying in the process. It's totally sweet! ^/.\^

Not only that, I'm in a hot spring. The water is soooooooooooo warm! And there's Kisame, chewing on his rubber ducky while swimming occasionally.

I wonder if Sasu has read this yet. Of course, he might no have checked his email because ever since he killed Orochi-I-Am-A-Pedo he's been traveling around and doesn't have a sick laptop like I do.

Damn, I love Frequent Evil Awards.

And I want everyone to ignore the next part,because it's me cheering about Orochi-I-Am-A-Pedo's death.

OMGWTFBBQROTFLMAO! THnskglnfvlSNG VLWS VlsngL ETRYH[PDGG=A yes YES YES ! Dlnklafnspsmamdasnfdlf omg a f sam, thieafdn asd a hahah thids a fasflnmalfknsdlf las fsl fL wfsdf s,f as,nfaklg JOYGASM! dolgfnsdlgnalgnalgnalgnkf
ladgna; wkqwipnmkkpnknkN:SDNKGV':SDNMKGF{SFAa[sd i lvoe LIDE= FLASDFKNA= OMG GFORF OTOUTOT ALSKNDLNL2 L DS EXCTED GV.MS.GS.GFM .GS, F.GSDMGFP;A FAHAHAH LOLO!

Cough.

Done.

Apparenty, he's now surrounding himself with:

Genderless Pervert called Suigetsu.

Crazy Fangirl called Karin.

Seven Foot Psycho called Juugo.

Nice one otouto. Prove the theories of you ukeness and gayness more, by hanging out with a guy who presses himself naked against you from behind (that's what's Genderless Pervert claims he did), a girl you have no intentions of hooking up with (as Crazy Fangirl complains), and a guy that looks like he could top anyone (as Seven Foot Psycho looks).

And in other news, I've discovered that otouto can change his name legally! So I was looking through the forms needed, and they ask some really strange questions and say some strange things.

And quote.

The name must lead one to be a subject of ridicule, not fit in with normal society, etc.

End quote.

And quote.

What reasons cause your name to be changed (see above). Please give detailed response.

End quote.

Excuuuuuuuuuuse me. I do think that having 'Sasuke' as a name leads to ridicule. But what would he write for 'detailed response'?

"The name Sasuke causes ridicule, for it suggests I am an uke. This leads people to believe I take it up the ass. And that I am a whore. And it makes freaky pedophiles hunt me down and claim me with LOVE HICKEYS OF DOOM™. And for my teammate to insult me constantly. And people do not even say my name correctly. They call me 'Sas-uke'. An example of a bad experience I've had because of this name is the time Naruto asked me if I spread my legs for the third Hokage."

Che. It would be funny, but I'm thinking he might not do it.

Damn. I just got this sudden craving for chicken nuggets. I guess I'll type up more after I've sated this desire. ((OOOH, that sounded wrong. xP.))

Ja ne!

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End of Entry

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Comments begin

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Trapped-In-A-Tank says: I am not genderless! I am male! I just don't bother with adding anything down there!

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: How are you commenting if you're traveling?

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: I have a laptop. Used to be Zabuza-sensei's, took me forever to realize the password was 'Giant Sword'. Sas-uke keeps bothering me, he wants to use it.

Fish-for-life says: Let him, it would make Itachi happy.

Orochimaru-sama's-best-medic! says: T_T Don't cheer about such a horrid event! Of course, Orochimaru-sama will always be with me . . . kukukukuku . . .

Ramen-is-life-Bitch! says: . . . anyone else disturbed? ANYWAYS! It's not ridicule! It's harmless fun! It's not like you see me asking to have my name changed 'cause it's a ramen topping~!

i-hate-foreheads says: That's because you're obsessed with ramen. All of our names our okay, 'cause we don't mind. Other than Neji. I LOVE YOUR BLOG HINATA!

Timid-Girl says: Thank you, Sakura-san. Neji-nii-san doesn't like it much . . .

Destiny-is-Destiny says: . . . It's shameful. And it sounds like Sasuke is surrounding himself with freaks.

I-see-minds says: IS THAT BITCH KARIN TRYING TO STEAL MY SAS-UKE-CHAN!

Sasuke-Marry-Me says: HE'S MINE! DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD<

I-see-minds says: DON'T YOU ANGRY FACE ME! DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:<

Not-a-kitty says: Konoha/Other places is hilarious! Murder! Laptops! Evil! Catfights!

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End of Comments

Ahhhhhhh. I'm happy again! YAY! I'll update probably tomorrow. YAY!

Entry Six

Can I just say how happy I am about the Orochi-I-Am-Pedo problem???? Oh wait.... I did that about a million times already! I think I'm on the nerves of everyone here. ^/x\^ It's true though, I'm very happy. Deidara isn't though.... idiot. He's pissed at Sasuke cause he wanted to kill Oroch-I-Am-A-Pedo. So now he and Tobi have TAKEN OVER MY MISSION AND ARE GOING TO KILL MY BROTHER AT THE SAME TIME! ARGH!

NOW Kisame and I have to go get the five tailed old bastard..... I'd like going after Naruto.... Naruto's cute and I get to see..... my.... brother..... I DIDN'T WRITE CUTE KISAME! Sorry! ^/.\^ Kisame is being a bastard.

Well..... Now I'm very happy that I have this laptop so I can keep in touch with everyone and go get the old guy!

Ta ta for now, bitches!

WAIT! I just forgot! SASUKE FOUND OUT ABOUT BEING ABLE TO CHANGE HIS NAME! It was hilarious. You see.... SOMEONE *cough* pink haired monster *cough* emailed him about the name changing thing and Suigetsu let him in on it. He saw the email and jumped to the occasion! BUT when Sasuke tried to change it they asked him for his age, and since he's fifteen, NOT SIXTEEN, he can't change it without a family member signature! And wait.... I'm the only family he has left. So he email me (YAY!) and asked if I would sign the from. I said no because I like his name. SO HEAR THAT EVERYONE! SASUKE IS KEEPING HIS NAME!!!!!! I think he hates me even more, if possible.

Now it's ta ta for now, bitches!

End of entry.

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Comment begin.

....................................

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: xD Really! That's why he's so pissed. He looked really happy when he read the email and every thing, but the next day he tried to bite Karin's head off, and sadly failed.

Sasuke-Marry-Me says: Bastard. I'm the one who comforted him.

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: More like raped.

I-see-minds says: WHAT!!! YOU *****, YOU RAPED HIM!

Ramen-is-life-*****! says: HA! So he finally got laid! I thought that guy was going to be the end of his clan! Good job Sasuke!

i-hate-foreheads says: Naruto.... You're so immature. And did anyone else notice that Itachi did write the Naruto is cute? Or is it just me?

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Nah. I did..... I just wanted to wait and see if Naruto did.

Ramen-is-life-*****! says: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ITACHI IS A PEDO!

Fish-For-Life says: I told Itachi this, but no! Doesn't even knows what he writes.... He really most be blind.

I-Hate-Everyone says: ...... This is still too much for me. I only went on because Kankuro told me too.

Not-a-kitty says: This just gets better and better.

.............................................

End of comments.

Well, to prevent this from dying, I'll update! ^/.\^ There are even more spoilers in this update so be warned again.

Entry Seven

Wow! It's sure had been awhile. GUESS WHAT! Deidara is dead! Yessir! And my little brother killed him.... sorta.... Deidara pull himself up to try and kill Sasuke. Sasu didn't die, YAAYAYAYA!, but now Tobi is all emo and the morale of the Akatsuki went way down. Who knew the happy guy is what kept this group together, sorta. I forgot to mention earlier that we lost ANOTHER two members to Konoha! Hidan and Kakazu. I didn't like either of them, Hidan be a potty mouth religious nut and Kakazu obsession with money, but I didn't want them dead. -sigh- Oh well. At least Kisame, Pien, Konan and Tobi are alive! They're awesome! We play poker ever night. Zetsu is a little weird.... Doesn't like poker. And he eats people... bleh.

Well.... What to rant about.... Um..... Oh, I know. WHAT THE HELL IS MY LITTLE BROTHER THINKING! Have you SEEN what he walks around in! Barely anything! It's disgusting. It's gotten better now, though. He's shirt is a little more closed, but not by much... >/.\> Foolish Otouto.... Why do you think people made fun of you.... Anyway, that's all I have to talk about for now.

Ta ta for now, fuckers!

P.S. AKATSUKI MEMORIAL:

R.I.P

Hidan
Kakazu
Deidara
Sasori


End of entry.

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Comments begin.

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Sasuke-Marry-Me says: OMFG! You have no idea how worried I was when Sasuke got caught in the explosion! >.<

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: Does anyone really care? I mean.... Big whoop if Sasuke dies.... Oh, guess what Itachi! I molested your brother last night!

I-see-minds says: WHAT!!!!! You bastard! How dare you touch my Sasuke-kun!

i-hate-foreheads says: Sigh.... It really sucks... Sasuke-kun is so hard to find. And now that there's like.... eight of us two use one laptop.... Oh well.

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End of comments.

.....................

I hope I can get Kaitlyn to update sometime.

SPOILERS ABOUND BUT IT DON'T MATTER. xD ONLY ON LIKE, THE SECOND LINE THOUGH.

Entry Eight

Oh dear.

I'm going to fight Otouto soon.

BUT IT DON'T MATTER.

Because I've discovered an AMAZING new game on my laptop.

It's called Pacman.

AND IT'S HOURS OF FUN. ^/_\^

I also found another.

It's called Pong.

I swear, I'm in love.

Hold on a sec, Blog-san, Kisame is looking at me in a disturbed fashion.

Back, Blog-san. And I must say, Kisame is annoying. He hears me saying "I swear, I'm in love" (I speak while I type--bad habit.) And he looks, sees that I'm typing on my blog, and goes, "WITH YOUR BROTHER?" Assuming that just because I typed that on a blog where I mostly talk about my brother I'm saying I'm in love with him.

INCEST IS NOT COOL.

{Caps is the closest I've ever come to yelling.}

But now Kisame is pulling out his own laptop and is trying to sign me up for 'help'. What a world we live in. I mean, think about it, readers.

"OH ANIKI YOU KILLED OUR CLAN. I SHALL ANGST AND BE MORE OF AN UKE NOW." ~Sasuke

Not

"OH ANIKI YOU KILLED OUR CLAN. YOU SERIOUSLY NEED SOME FECKING HELP."

And another example.

"ITACHI YOU'VE BEEN TYPING MEAN THINGS ABOUT ME ON YOUR BLOG. SIGN MY NAME-CHANGE PAPERS!" ~Sasuke

Not

"ITACHI YOU'VE BEEN TYPING MEAN THINGS ABOUT ME ON YOUR BLOG. YOU SERIOUSLY, LIKE, NOT JOKE, NEED SOME FECKING HELP."

Can anyone tell I'm annoyed that I'm not locked up in a mental institution right now?

Hm.

Never thought I'd say that.

Oh great, Kisame's coming at me looking ready to put a block of some kind on my laptop so I can't look up gay porn.

I AM NOT GAY.

Damnit, sharky just tripped over my nail polish bottle and spilt it everywhere. That was my favorite shade~!

NOT THAT I'M GAY.

Anyways, got to go. >/_\>

Ja ne!

PS: WATER-BOY, ITACHI IS WATCHING YOU. '/_\'

End of entry.

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Comments begin.

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Sasuke-Marry-Me says: Here that! He's watching you!

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: Oooooooooooooooh, SCARY. /sarcasm

Ramen-is-life-Biatch! says: Damn, stupid censors, had to change my name . . . I ALWAYS KNEW SAS-UKE HAD A THING FOR HIS BROTHER! NOW THE FEELINGS ARE RETURNED! xD

I-Hate-Everyone says: You cannot beat my highscore on Pacman. It's 1464187651895671384965913
75534515431.

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Almost as high as mine. I'm a strategy genius, how'd you manage it?

Sexy Sand Goddess says: Long nights, no sleep, lots of practice. I should know, the damn music keeps me up. SOMEBODY'S TOO INCONSIDERATE TO TURN DOWN THE VOLUME.

Not-a-kitty says: I love earplugs. =D AND INCEST? What a great turn on this soap!

Fish-For-Life says: He's not actually incestuous guys. I just needed him away from his laptop so I can play Pong. Mine doesn't have it.

Canine-Lovers says: Dude, you're dead once he reads these comments.

Fish-For-Life says: Ahhh, but he's undergoing mental evaluation right now. I can delete my comments before he gets back. *smirk*

Canine-Lovers says: Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

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End of comments.

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I UPDATED, BIATCH.

whoo! I love this already! this is hilarious!

THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I'VE EVER READ.

I DO NOT KID. I love it. I don't watch Naruto, but I fucking love it.

Thanks and thanks. =D

It's awesome when people say that even if they don't watch/read a series, they still like a fan-thing for it.

HUMOUR TRANSCENDS ALL SERIES.

Or something. xD

Ehehe. My sister gets so offended when I insult the characters of Naruto. NOW I HAVE SAS-UKE TOO.

xD Use it well.

THISISTHEBESTSTORYONTHEMO
THERFUCKINGIJ.
I HAVEN'T WATCHED NARUTO IN FOREVER; BUT THIS IS AWESOME.
EVENTHOUGHIFORGOTABOUTITF
ORLIKE.... MONTHSANDRANDOLYWASBOREDA
NDLOOKINGFORSOMETHINGTORE
AD<3

That took me a while to read. @_@

Anyways, thanks!

I might update once I get home, I can't do at school (as the teacher is looking at me kind of funny right now.)

LOL.SORRY. IT'S SO AWESOME; SPACES AREN'T REQUIRED :D!

YAY! ^WAITS IMPATIENTLY^

Spaces are never required. Bah, Itachi has been quite busy lately in his blog-posting.

Entry Nine

I HATE Kisame.

TEN HOURS. TEN FUCKING HOURS OF MENTAL EVALUATION. DEAR GOODNESS, WHY.

AND THE QUESTIONS WERE AS RETARDED AS THE BLOND BASTARD, NARUTO.

"When you killed your clan, did you feel love for Sas-uke?" THE DUMBASS EXAMINER SAID.

"Well, actually, I felt immense smug, cocky, bastardly satisfaction and very sadistic." I SAID.

"Sadistic? Satisfaction? They didn't mention that Sas-uke had been raped with a kunai in the report on the massacre." THE DUMBASS EXAMINER SAID.

". . . . Get your mind out of the gutter, mentally-deficient woman. Of course I didn't rape him." I SAID.

"Not even with a kunai?" THE DUMBASS EXAMINER SAID. Err . . . asked . . .

"No, not with a kunai. I wouldn't rape him with a kunai, I wouldn't rape him at all. I wouldn't rape him in a house, I wouldn't rape him with a mouse. I wouldn't rape in a box. I wouldn't rape him with a fox---" I SAID. And no, that was not some strange reference to the book Green Eggs And Ham. And I still don't keep a copy of that under my pillow.

"Oh, so Naruto going Kyuubi was involved? I see, I see . . ." THE DUMBASS EXAMINER SAID.

"Le wut? Excuse me, I feel the need to rip out your brains." I SAID, before ripping out said brains and feeding them to Kisame's family, who just happen to be--ahem-- Kisame's pet sharks.

And then they sent in another examiner, and another as I killed the one before, and I swear DUMBASS EXAMINERS are produced in a factory.

AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT TO GO BACK TO MINE AND KISAME'S 'HIPPY TRAVELING VAN OF DOOM™' (she's nicknamed MYRTLE THE EVIL-MOBILE), I DISCOVERED KISAME PLAYING WITH MY LAPTOP.

Do you know how hard it is to clean blood out of laptops? I swear, I had to use so much Mr. Clean I got high off the fumes and imagined Mr. Clean was there in all his bald-headed genie glory. And pinching my ass . . . 0/_\0

Anyways, I better go get to driving Myrtle the Evil-Mobile to where Sasuke and I are gonna fight . . . I wanna be sitting on my throne like the smexeh and stuck-up guy I am.

Ja ne!

End of entry.

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Comments begin.

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Sexy Sand Goddess says: They are, we saw the factories after Gaara went to destroy the cause of all the people trying to give him 'help'.

Fish-For-Life says: It hurts to type. And the keyboard is sticky with blood. But I'm too afraid of Mr. Clean to use it . . .

Canine-Lovers says: Hey, you're the two weirdos that bought Myrtle the Dog-Mobile from my sister?

Fish-For-Life says: Yeah. Dude, you got a hot sister.

Canine-Lovers says: Dude, that's just creepy. For all I know, you're some pedo.

Fish-For-Life says: Do I come across like Orochimaru?

Ramen-is-life-Biatch! says: I lol'd fish-breath. At you too, dog-breath. Heh. Fish-breath, dog-breath . . . so, Sas-uke would be uke-breath? Or gay-breath? Or Semen-breath, since he's always pleasuring males . . .

I-see-minds says: EWW, that's gross Naruto!

Sasuke-Marry-Me says: SASUKE DOESN'T PLEASURE ANYONE BUT ME.

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: . . . I always knew you were a guy.

Sasuke-Marry-Me says: NO! I MEANT HE PLEASURES ONLY ME, AS A MAN WOULD PLEASURE A WOMAN LIKE MYSELF. BESIDES, YOU'RE STILL MOLESTING SASUKE IN HIS SLEEP, AND I'M TELLING ITACHI.

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Sas-uke doesn't know how to pleasure a woman like I do . . .

OROCHIMARU-IS-WATCHING-YOU (formerly
Orochimaru-sama's-best-medic!) says: WE ARE CREEPED OUT, AND WE DEMAND THAT NO ONE TOUCHED HIS SAS-UKE-CHAN. OROCHIMARU DEMAAAAAAAAANDS IT. WE DEMAND IT!

Timid-Girl says: I'm scared, Neji-nii-san.

Destiny-is-Destiny says: Just look away, Hinata-sama, just look away.

Not-a-kitty says: They should make a movie out of this guy's life!

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End of comments.

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<333333 = Chapter

Good job!

LOL. STILL GOT ME LAUGHING.

Thanks. =D

*caught up* Aww... I was hoping there'd be another chapter on this page. Oh well...

Ah, the randomness of Itachi's life. Always there to entertain me.

YAY! An update! I got in the mood from the convention I went to today. Ah, good times, good times.

Entry Ten

Well... I'm bored. GAWD! Why can't Sasuke get here yet. I mean, I've been here a whole two minutes and there's still no Sasuke. Why can't I see my little brother.

On the bright side, I stole Kisame's iPhone™ that has internet connection! ^/.\^ It's pay back for using my laptop and making me kill the dumbass examiners.... though I did have fun do it. Anyway, I'm going to laugh so hard when Kisame finds out, which he won't, because he's (hopefully) going to get his ass kicked by that creepy kid who keeps raping my brother.... >/.\>

You know what, I think I might write my will in this. There's always the small..... VERY small...... EXTREMELY small chance I could be killed by my brother. Let's see:

To Pien, I'll give him the laptop and all my magazines about fashion.
To Konan, anything that I own that is blue.
To Kisame, if he lives, anything related to water. And my nail polish.
To Zetsu, my dead cat Sasuukke.
To Tobi, um....... anything Uchiha-ish.... He said that he really liked those thing that I kept.
To..... Um...... Uh..... WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! Those are the members that are left...... Damn...... I have to be forgetting SOMEONE!

Um.... Let's see..... Pien, Konan, [strike]Hidan, Kakazu, Sasori, Deidara[/strike], Tobi, Zetsu, and Kisame..... Wow.... That's really sad. We're all like S-rank ninja and we're getting the crap beaten out of us by Genin and Chuunin..... Sad. really sad. Everyone but Leader and Konan. What's so special about them! Why do they get to be killed by a fucking Sannin! Well.... if they get killed. Apparently, according to creepy Zetsu who was spying on them for a bit, the Jiraiya is getting his ass kicked. That would suck if he lost..... No more Icha Icha Paradise.

What can I talk about now... Um.... Oh yeah, according the freaky ass Zetsu, Tobi may be an Uchiha member. I laughed it of. He's such a lsoer, no way he could be one. He is NOWHERE near emo enough.

OH LOOK! Sasu-chan is here! He looks pissed.... I can't imagine why. He just said I was going to die. Excuse me while I laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, yeah. I have to fight and possibly kill my brother. I shall be back!

**** YEAH BITCHES! IT'S MY LITTLE BROTHER! TIME TO TELL HIM OFF FOR HIS CLOTHING!

See ya fucktards.

End of Entry

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Comments begin.

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Barbecue-my-life says: Wow. Konoha really kicks ass if we've killed about half the Akatsuki in a coupole months or something! TAKE THAT SUNA!

Not-a-kitty says: Dude..... shut your fat ass up. Suna could kick your ass any day.

I-see-minds says: Yeah right! Chouji, don't let this kitten get to you!

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: >.> ...... Sorry guys (Temari, Kankuro and Gaara) My team is really weird. Temari, don't take this the wrong way. V.V;

Sexy Sand Goddess says: What's planning on it.

I-see-minds says: Shikamaru! You care more about the sand ***** than me! D<

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Uh.... We're kind of, in a way, more like my wishes, or dreams, dating.

Sexy Sand Goddess says: WOw.... you're really pathetic.

I-see-minds says: YOU SUCK SHIKAMARU!

Trapped-In-A-Tank says: OMFG GUYS! You all suck! This blog isn't about your lives freaks! Anyway, WOW! Kisame is a big big biiiiiiiiiiiiig guy, who is now really pissed at Itachi!

Youth-Is-Forever-YOSH! says: Yes! Neji said that this was an interesting blog! He was right! I should tell Gai-sensei!

Teacher-Of-The-Amazing-Youth says: Lee-kun! You're right! This blog is amazing! I like the pink on black, Itachi-kun! Very youthful!

I-Like-Pointy-Objects says: Gai-sensei..... Calm down..... ^.^;

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End of Comments.


There you go! Entry ten! HURRAY!

YAY! GO ITACHI GO! KILL THAT UKE!

We'll update soon.

I'd update.

But I'm WAY too depressed.

I can't be funny like this.

BUT!

sangorules and I have started the third story in the Sasuke of the Brain series. It will be the sequel to Found It.

YAY A SEQUEL TO FOUND IT WHEEEEEEEEE!

... Anyways, good update. :cutelaugh: Gai-sensei started reading!!!!!!!! YAAAY!!! i can't wait for entry 11!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! My internet's been down, sorry guys.

Entry Eleven

WELL DAMN.

Everyone's misinterpreting me!

They think, assumedly, just because I showed a flashback of Madara (who is NOT my boyfriend) ripping out his little bro's eyes since he was going blind from use of the MangeSharingan, I want to rip out my little bro's eyes. For one, I am NOT going blind.

When I say, 'losing light' and 'being plunged into darkness' I mean that my flashlight's battery keeps dying on me!

And when I say I want otouto 'to be my new light', I'm not hitting on him, or saying I want his eyes! I'm saying I want to borrow is super-charged flashlight!

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME? T/_\T

And that crazy face? Oh, that was just me practicing. I want to get a part in a musical production of Deidara and Sasuke's fight! I said I'd be Deidara ---

NO KISAME. NOT BECAUSE WE'RE EQUALLY GIRLY.

And finally, that genjutsu of me trying to rip out Sasuke's eyes was just me messing up on my aim to poke him in the forehead. Believe me.

You can trust me, right? ^/__\^

Okay, maybe you can't.

IN OTHER NEWS.

I discovered something horrifying. It's called yaoi. And you can find it on such places as 'fanfiction.net' and 'y!galley' and 'deviantart'. I'm disgusted. They do stuff for US.

That's right, my fellow ninja comrades! We have stalkers! And they write and draw nasty, nasty things about us! All under the name of the Uzumaki brat, which I hardly comprehend. I am clearly superior to him, therefor the series should be called 'Itachi' instead of 'Naruto'.

Anywho, be careful. They're watching you. '/_\'

Ja ne!

Itachi

End of Entry

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Comments Begin

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Sexy Sand Goddess says: Don't worry, Itachi! I understand completely! For some reason, people assumed I was scared of Gaara when we were younger! But I wasn't. I was scared of raccoons. Not my fault they looked so alike. Luckily, I got over that fear.

Not-a-kitty says: I was afraid of lack of facial hair. We were very paranoid siblings. And, to this blog, MOAR PLZ.

I-see-minds says: Sas-uke-chan's super charge 'flashlight' lights me up from the inside out, babeh.

<insert creative name 'cause I'm way too lazy to> says: Ino, stop being a pervert. You've never had sex with Sas-uke.

Canine-Lovers says: Gawd, we were like, 12 and 13. Of course we never had sex. Which someone should tell our stalkers. They scare me. Two words: Kiba/Akamaru.

Timid-Girl says: I wonder what that is. I'll go search it!

Canine-Lovers says: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T DO IT, HINATA!!!!!!

Destiny-is-Destiny says: Idiotic dog-boy. No wonder Hinata fainted at her computer screen. And no wonder there was a picture of you and your dog having sex on it. Gah.

Fish-For-Life says: Psh, I've read Myself, as some shark thing, screwing Itachi. I couldn't sleep for many nights afterward.

Ramen-is-life-Biatch! says: Fap fap fap? xD

Fish-For-Life says: NOT fap fap fap. D<

Timid-Girl says: I'm awake again! I wonder what fap fap fap means . . . I'll go search it!

Canine-Lovers says: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T DO IT, HINATA!!!!!!

Destiny-is-Destiny says: She fainted again . . . I am forbidding her from reading this blog!

Timid-Girl says: I . . . I'm okay, Neji-nii-san. I just won't ever trust Google Search again.

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End of Comments

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Crappy, I know. I had to go.

:excited: jajajaja that was very funny!!!! :excited: i like itachi blog! i want another entry!!!! good job! :kicking:

Yeh yeh, an update! It's sad now... Kaitard and I have to wait around.... three weeks or so between updates.... wait... that's faster than we normally update.... NEVERMIND!


Entry Twelve

WELL DAMN AGAIN.

I really wanted his battery powered eye. Yes, yes, I know last entry I said I didn't want his eyeball, and I stand to my word, but now his battery powered Sharingan eyeball is what I really want. ^/...\^ But nooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm not allowed to take it. >/...\> Oh, this means I have to explain the whole Sharingan thing, don't I?

Well, the Sharingan is merely these battery powered eyeballs the Uchiha have learned to master. You see, we but them in ourselves, then release them in times of need. They're kind of like magic tricks.

Anyway.... NO! I was NOT trying to rape my Sasu-chan. Just because I had him pinned up on the wall in a slightly suggestive way doesn't not mean I want to have sex with him! Honestly people, I'm insane but I'm not a rapist. There is a difference. >/...\>

Well, it seems that after I laughed, these 'people' on the 'internet' have had a lot of fun drawing pictures of me. WELL! I don't find it the very least amusing. Not at all. >/...\<

Well, that's all I have time for. I need to go rip out Sasu-chan's battery powered eyeballs before he kills me. ^/...\^

Ta ta for now,
Biatches!


End of entry.

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Comments begin.

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OROCHIMARU-IS-WATCHING-YOU says: Oh, Itachi-kun.... I love your blob, kukukuku........... Sorry, that was Orochimaru typing. Anyway, you're not going to get any comments this time. Everyone is too busy watching Naruto-kun get kicked in the head by that mask wearing akatsuki member. Kukukukukukukuku

<insert creative name 'cause I'm too lazy to> says: I can reply, freak. I don't have a mission. In fact, I'm here chillin' with my deceased teacher's pregnant wife, hoping that Temari will show up soon.

Red-eyed-and-not-Uchiha says: You know, I have I name Shikamaru. >.> OH! Gotta run, morning sickness!

I-see-minds says: Ew.... I don't want to be pregnant ever....

Not-a-kitty says: WOW! Really... I'm starting to wonder about the Uchiha clan. Why did I flinch when Sasgay threw that rock at me. >.> I feel pathetic now.

Sexy Sand Goddess says: You are pathetic. Cope. Shikamaru, if you don't get off your lazy ass and meet me at this gate, I swear I'll make you wish you were never born. And Itachi, I again understand how you're feeling. I'm sure I'm accused of having sex/being raped with/by Gaara or Kankuro. those 'people' are just like that at times. You just need to remember it's not real. It's not real.... right?

I-see-minds says: Wall of text much?

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End of comments.

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That's the best I can do. Man, if Itachi dies I have the best entry for this ever! ^.^

*caught up again* Heh. Funny. Me like.