[COLOR=red]Hey peoplez
im new here and i wanted to write a fanfiction
i hope you like it if u like it leave a comment so i can countinue.
if u have any ideas juss email me!or questions.



Sit boy!!!! ahhh!!!KAgome!!!!wait Inuyasha pleaded!! :run4urlife: Kagome turned around to look at inuyasha. Inuyasha could tell kagome was hurt just by the look in her eyes.Kagome could feel the tears forming in her eyes. kagome ran to the well and thats the last time she saw inuyasha. near by sesshomaru was witnessing all this.yes this is my chance sesshomaru thought. sesshomaru ran after kagome. all sehssomaru remembered was being in the fuedal time ,running towards the well. he was still in the well when he noticed there was a diffrent sent to this new world he entered. He climbed up the well and the sun began to edge up on the horizon. as soon as he got out of the well he caght a whiff of Kagome scent. he began to follow Kagome's sent . it lead him to kagome's house.what is this strange place? sesshomaru thought. Then all of a sudden Sesshomaru felt a hand touch his leg. sesshomaru jumped up in the air and landed 3 feet away. This small child stood there looking at sesshomaru with such itensity. who are you ? Oh i know who you are you are Inuyasha. My sister talks about you all the time. She really admiers you. I am not Inuyasha My name Is Sesshomaru Tashio. I am not that weakling he is just a mear half breed. oh ok. coome on lets go inside.Sesshomaru decided to follow. Hey Kagome Inuyasha is here!!! I told you my name is Sesshomaru. Not Inuyasha. Yea yea whatever. why you liitle brat sesshomaru said. sesshomaru was just about rto strike him down when kagome came running down stairs. she stopped dead in her dead in her tracks. Sota c..c..come here now kagome screetched . Sota ran to kagome what ?what is it? I want you to go upstairs now!! but i don't want too!now!!!! Sota ran upstairsto his room. Why are you here Sesshomaru? HOW did you get here? I came through the well of course? Im here because i umm......i like you!!!!!111 :) Kagome Was Shocked about what he just said. Kagome looked at Sesshomaru and he was blushing very hard. ther was an akward silence between the two.Until Kagome's Mom came in. Oh HI Honey.H..Hi momThen Mrs.Hirigashi saw Sesshomaru. Oh Is this your friend Kagome? Why Don't you Stay for Dinner! Kagome Was about to object when Sesshomaru answered i would love to stay for dinner. so Kagome what do you want to eat for dinner? Kagome did'nt answer. Kagome?never mind. Oh how rould of meWhat is your name? My name is Sesshomaru Tashio. Nice to meet you. nice to meet you too. So Sesshomaru san what would you like to eat? hmm....How about Sushi and some sukiyaki?Ok Dinner will be ready shortly.





So what Do you Think plz leave comments.

~Alisha~ :daydream: :excited:

Um... no offence but this story needs some work cuz why would Sesshy be interested in Kagome? And your spelling is alllll wrong.

And also, PLEASE capitalize the beginning of each sentence, names, and the letter ‘I’. Can you also put a space each time a different person talks instead of one big paragraph. It’s kind of confusing. I like the story and all, but work on your spelling and grammar.


BlaaBlaa :moji:

Umm okay I love Sess Kag but your story needs some work (this is constructive criticism! take no offense!).

First, there should be a reason behind Sesshoumaru's sudden interest in Kagome...I understand it is fun to make him fluffy but...that just isn't him.

Also you have some serious spelling and grammatical errors in there, so maybe try putting your story on Microsoft Word or another word processor with a spell check.

And when someone is saying something, quotation marks help to clear that up for the rest of us so we understand what is going on.

And double spacing helps us out, so your paragraph should be seperated clearly and easy to read.

Sorry if any off this stuff came off a bit harsh, I just want to help because THANK GOD there is another Sess x Kag fan out there XD.

So please continue, I would like to see where you go with this ^_^
Ja~!

Also hint, if you want to do a color posting, you have to put [/color] at the end of the post =)

I'm sooooooooooooo sorry but I wasn't even that bad when I first started writing my stories. This looks like one BIG scrambled puzzle. You can't tell who is talking or when the talking ends and there is no capitals. It would be helpful if you used quotation marks and capitals! And please start a new paragraph some time! And start speaking on a new line please! No offense what-so-ever! And to those who like to start things, don't point out the fact that I have not posted any fan-fics because what I meant s when I WRItE stories, I don't post any of my fan-fics, I would, however, like to get with someone to form a story group cause hey! I thought it would be neat to see how things went if you had more than one person doing a story and like putting ideas in and stuff! You know like a writers group or club (alright, i admit, i avoided the word club because i think it is childish, feh!) so yeah, i won't bog up your fan-fic anymore! (did i jsut use the word bog? omg!)

:monkey: this is ban ban btw, BAN BAN SAYS HI!

thanks! i didn't know that!

:monkey: BAN BAN SAYS HI!

I lik ur story very much even though it was a little confusing and all, I was able to capture the whole picture. Still, I don't know why kagome is mad at Inu. Plz explain in your next chapter. update soon!!! :excited:

me either!thank you! Now I know! Now I have the power! WAH HA HA![COLOR=#FF1493]

Ah! Darn it! I swear I had it that time. I guess I still don't know how to color my posted words! Could someone explain it to me in more detail, Plz!

It's pretty hard to read but I like the idea. just fixed the paragraphs, grammer, spelling, and the pov of characters. :fan: other than that contiune.

I'm still waiting for a update. Hello, did you abandon your story?
Come on....UPDATE!!!!!Plz!!!

To xokikiroxxo:
I do love the sound of two or more members writing one Inu fanfic.I would love to join in.

oh this is a great story so far, please please please update or i will get sad :cryriver: :cryriver: :cryriver: :cryriver: i love your story update please

okay i agree with everyone else
Capitalize beginnings and stuff
and whatever else they said
see, here, ill retype everything like it's supposed to be


"Sit boy!!!!"
"Ahhh!!!Kagome!!!!wait!" Inuyasha pleaded. :run4urlife:
Kagome turned around to look at Inuyasha. Inuyasha could tell Kagome was hurt just by the look in her eyes. Kagome could feel the tears forming in her eyes. Kagome ran to the well and thats the last time she saw Inuyasha. Near by, Sesshomaru was witnessing all this.
Yes, this is my chance. Sesshomaru thought. Sesshomaru ran after Kagome.

All Sesshomaru remembered was being in the fuedal time, running towards the well. He was still in the well when he noticed there was a diffrent scent to this new world he entered. He climbed up the well and the sun began to edge up on the horizon.

As soon as he got out of the well he caught a whiff of Kagome scent. He began to follow Kagome's scent. It lead him to Kagome's house.

What is this strange place? Sesshomaru thought.

Then all of a sudden Sesshomaru felt a hand touch his leg. Sesshomaru jumped up in the air and landed 3 feet away. This small child stood there looking at Sesshomaru with such itensity. "Who are you? Oh I know who you are. You are Inuyasha. My sister talks about you all the time. She really admires you." He said.
"I am not Inuyasha. My name Is Sesshomaru Taisho. I am not that weakling, he is just a mere half breed."
"Oh ok. Come on, lets go inside."

Sesshomaru decided to follow. "Hey Kagome Inuyasha is here!!!"
"I told you my name is Sesshomaru. Not Inuyasha."
"Yea yea whatever."
"Why you little brat," Sesshomaru said.

Sesshomaru was just about to strike him down when Kagome came running down stairs. She stopped dead in her dead in her tracks.
"Sota c..c..come here now!" Kagome screeched. Sota ran to kagome.
"What? What is it?"
"I want you to go upstairs now!!"
"But I don't want too!"
"Now!!!!
Sota ran upstairs to his room.

"Why are you here Sesshomaru? HOW did you get here?"
"I came through the well of course. I'm here because I umm......I like you!!!!! :)

Kagome was shocked about what he just said. Kagome looked at Sesshomaru and he was blushing very hard. There was an akward silence between the two, until Kagome's mom came in.

"Oh hi honey." Mrs. Higurashi said.
"H..Hi mom...

Then Mrs. Higurashi saw Sesshomaru. "Oh is this your friend Kagome? Why don't you stay for dinner!"
Kagome was about to object when Sesshomaru answered, "I would love to stay for dinner."

"So Kagome what do you want to eat for dinner?" Mrs. Higurashi asked. Kagome didn't answer. "Kagome?Never mind. Oh how rude of me, what is your name?"
"My name is Sesshomaru Tashio."
"Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too."
"So Sesshomaru-san what would you like to eat?" Mrs. Higurashi asked politely.
"Hmm....how about Sushi and some sukiyaki?"
"Ok Dinner will be ready shortly." Mrs. Higurashi walked into the kitchen ans started preparing dinner.


so that's basically how the paragraphs should be split and stuff like that
okay?
don't be afraid to ask for help from anybody on here okay!
:excited:

oh and welcome to IJ

Please update and space it out please

Why are you guys so mean? :worried:

i think its cute but i would like to know why shessy takes a sudden intrest in kags :scaryangry: but that is just me, iTs cute ,Update i guess if u feel like it :blush: :kicking: :victory: YEAH WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO HARSH :worried:

Please update

If we were mean, we would be telling to to STFU and GTFO.

OWAIT.

It's not called being mean.
It's called 'constructive critism'.

...KLDFJKLASDJF. AARON. YOU TOPIC BUMPER. -SMACKED-

HEY, I'M AT SCHOOL, ON A TINY SCREEN. SUE ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE POST DATES D<

Edited it just a little, to make it more understandable.

^___________^


Crap, I didn't know that this was made so long ago lol
Ooops.

cool

:worried: why do people keep on writing such harsh critisism? If you guts let up a bit, then they proabably would've continued and it could've been a great story

Because we CARE about the writer and wish to help them.

it is good silly we just couldnt read it trust me i had the same problem and people did the same for me. its not bad if they care enought to read it

The story seems interesting so far, but like the others have said, it needs some work. Please read through everyones advice and make use of it. Still, I can't wait until you continue!! :excited: