"Die" Saya yelled as she sliced through Diva's defenses.she charged for Diva but missed andcrashed into the small house."Saya" hagi said as he ran towards the house.He reached the house and noticed that she was not there.He instantly realized that she fell down the well.He jumped down the well and was surrounded by a blue light.
~~~~~with inu and the group~~~~~~
"Hurry up, Kagome!" A very annoyed hanyou yelled.Kagome has just returned from her era, and was a little slow."Shut up Inuyasha!" "Make me!" he yelled.Shippou the little fox kitsune said "Looks like there at it again...Why do they always fight?"Sango the demon exterminator and Miroku the womanizing monk just shook their heads.



sorry it's so short im at school and all
(plz be nice my first fic)

So far so good. Please continue when you may, shezu. ^^

:excited:

i will when i can thx

You are most welcome, Shezu. ^^.

And if you need help with insperation please do not hesitate to PM me or another fellow fic writer. (Patriot, Midnight_melody/Secret_miko, Saku, or Haiyato Berserker (Jesse) to name a few ^^).

I will up date more chapter 1



"Inuyasha sit boy" Kagome yelled."What was that for?!" "You was being rude." "Can we go?"he growled.'wait what is that scent? where is it coming from?' Inuyasha thought.Without telling anybody why he just ran of into the forest."That was weird."Shippou said everyone agreed.'Wait i feel something...but it isn't from this time or my time...' then she darted into the forest."what's wrong with Kagome?" Shippou asked.
~~~~~~~With Saya and Hagi~~~~~~~
Hagi appered right by saya.She appered to be asleep so Hagi just picked her up and jumped out of the well."What the hell?"he heard someone say.He looked around and spotted a red piece of cloth speeding through thetall trees."Who is there?" "Who wants to know?" "Inuyasha" Kagome yelled."Who is that?" "I don't know but i'm going to kill them." "No.I think they need help." "What? why are you always helping people we don't even know?" "Because i can!"Kagome then ran over to the tall man and asked"Do you need any help?" "Yes.Do you know where a doctor is?" "Come with us." then all of them walked back to the village.'I don't like this guy.' Inuyasha thought."Thank you for showing us the way to the doctor." "Well she is more of a healer."
~~~~~~~With shippou Soang and Miroku~~~~~~~
"What is taking Kagome and Inuyasha so long?" shippou asked."i don't know.Do you think something happened to them?"Sango asked."Kagome and Inuyasha problably had another fight."Shippou said.Miroku and Sango both agreed with that. then they all seen Kagome Inuyasha and someone that they had never seen...
well thats all i can say for now please reply

Just a couple minor misspells, but nothing critical, Shezu. ^^

Shippo: What are Inuyasha and Kagome doing anyway?

Jacrose: -_- You didn't read the story that you are in Shippo?

Shippo: *angrily sighs* Jacrose... I am in the story and I am asking as myself from the story "WHAT ARE THOSE TWO DOING?"

Jacrose: *ears ringing* @_@ *shakes cobwebs away* Geez, runt. you didn't have to scream it so loud!

:hehe: Please update your wonderful fic when you may, Shezu. ^^

"Uh Kagome who is that?" Shippou asked.Kagome inored Shippou and ran to get Kaede."Kaede can you help her?" Kagome asked."Yes.But may i ye asked what happened?" "You can ask him he is the one that brought her here."
"We were fighting Saya's little sister, Diva." "What kind of name is Diva?" Inuyasha asked."Inuyasha let him finish." "Thank you.Saya charged for Diva and tried to kill her but missed and hit the house and fell down a well." "There is another well that can transport people here to." Kagome said. "Why was she trying to kill her little sister?" "She would be, if Diva didn't try to kill her."
~~~~~~~With Kai~~~~~~~
"Saya!" Kai yelled. "Where are you?" He yelled again. "Damn I can't find her anywhere. David did you find her?" "No. I think she fell down that old well." "Can we get her?" i don't know



g2g

Tomodachi (friend) Shezu, My apologies for the late reply. *bows humbly*

Again there were some minor spelling errors, but I believe that they may be overlooked and or editted. ^^ (Editted would be best ^^)

Once again you have posted a fantastic update and I cannot wait for more! :excited: :victory: :kittylove:

Shippo: *blinks* Who exactly are these two that came back with Inuyasha and Kagome anyway?

Matsuo (Dark Hearts): You will find out more Later, Shippo, but for now their nams, respectively are Saya, and Hagi.

Shippo: :hehe: Thanks, Matsuo. *underbreath* -_- A lot of help that was.

Matsuo (Dark Hearts): -_- What?

Shippo: :chidorisd: Nothing


:chidorisd: :chidorisd:

Please continue when you may, Tomodachi Shezu.*bows* ^^

~~~~~With Inuyasha~~~~~
After saya was done explaining Shippou said "So what kind of monster are you?" "We are a creature called cairoptern(sp?)." Every one was confused. "I sense a jewel shard, and it's comming really fast." "Kagome get behind me." After Inuyasha was done talking Koga showed up and jumped on Inuyasha's back.
" Hey whats the big idea?" Inuyasha shouted angrily. " I wanted to see my woman. Hey Kagome who are they?" Koga asked. " They are Saya and Hagi." Koga started to inspect them and said " Okay I will see you later." With that he ran off. " I don't get him." " Me neither. Hey is anyone hungry?" Kagome asked. " I am I haven't eaten in two days." Saya said. " Good thing I always bring extra food." " Are you okay with Ramen noodles?" " Yes!" Kagome started to make their food and Saya was talkin to Sango. Miroku walked up to Saya and said " Will you bear my child?" "Ummm... NOOO! Pervert." Saya said and slapped him upside his head. "Hey Hagi can I..." "Yes, you don't have to ask." Hagi said. Everyone was staring but they didn't notice. Hagi bent down and Saya pulled down the collar of his shirt some. Everyone was still watching waiting to see what would happened. She bit the exposed skin of his neck and drank the bloood that was now flowing from the bite. Before she looked up everyone looked away. " Thank you Hagi." Saya said kindly. " All DONE!!! Come and get it." Kagome yelled. As she filled up the bowls she noticed that Hagi wasn't eating. " Do you want anything?" "No I don't eat." Everyone started to eat their food.

awsome shezu.......

*sigh* Another story that needs work.

Make sure the text is read-able, use proper grammer, use more detail, and it needs to be longer.

Making the text bigger won't make the story any longer.

AGAIN, I'm not being mean, I'm helping you.

Also, despite what others may tell you , Changing the color of the text is not always needed.

It is the style of some if not most of the story writers here, Shezu, but it does not, necessarily, have to be yours.

@Zabuza I noticed this text color change suggestion in Shezu's Inu-z story too.

-_- Please read some of the other fanfictions that DO NOT have such effects before you make such a judgement call.

My fan fictions do not have color changes in the text except for the chapters and a few Pokemon references in A "Fullmetal Pokemon"?! .

And I only just started, but not always, using text colors to tell some of my OCs apart from other characters:

Lt. Col. Jostanos "Sonic" Silver (Sonic)

Jacrose

Sylt

Know this..

This post of mine was meant to help and not hinder in any way.

Thank you for your time and patience. *bows*