How I Feel, How I Fell

It all started with one social worker, but now the whole world knows. How do you run when there's nowhere to hide?
Mainly Jasper/Alice, but also Edward/Bella, Esme/Carlisle, and Emmett/Rosalie.

I thought of this in the process of trying to wake up. And trust me, this was originally going to be waaay shorter. It just.. grew, somehow. Into this. Seriously, at first this was going to be a cute little oneshot where Jasper had to write a report on what he felt true love would be like for a language arts class. And then the language arts class changed to annoying social worker. And then a short, fluffy one shot switched to a longish, slightly agstish hopefully multi-chapter story with a real plot.

Wow.

Disclaimer: I, in whatsoever fashion, will never own Twilight. Isn't it kind of obvious? If I did, I wouldn't be wasting my time here; I'd be getting the rest of the books published! And other characters, besides Bella, Edward, and Jacob, would be important.

Share the minor-ish character love!

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How I Feel, How I Fell
Accusation

"Jasper Hale to the counselor's office, please."

I looked around in confusion. Alice shrugged, not knowing what was going on either. The teacher gave me a smug look, feeling acomplished with himself. I sent a wave of unreasonable paranoia to compensate for what he was planning on putting me through. I could hear Alice giggling, seeing what I had done to the slightly whimpering man.

I quietly left the room, pondering over whatever reason they could want me for. Nothing came to mind. I sighed as I opened the door, seeing a large woman wearing a dark blue suit sitting at a desk. The room was small, furnished with several bookcases and selves holding roses and other various flower arragments. The plump woman looked at me and smiled, pointing at a nearby seat.

"I bet you're wondering why you're here." She said, in a soft and collected tone. I nodded my head slowly. "Of course you are. They all wonder why. I'm from the state, sorta like a social worker. You know what they do, right? Of course you do. I'm here to help you with whatever's bothering you."

If I could be any paler, I'm sure I was now. "...Why are you here? I'm not being 'bothered' by anything."

She clicked her tongue. "Well, we're concerned about you. You look unhealthy. You're as white as a ghost, you have these terrible dark circles around your eyes, and what's up with all of those scars on your arms?!" I subconsiously pulled my sleeves as far as I could without tearing the thin material. "Your entire family is being watched, but you by far look to be the worst. Your father, Carlisle, is a doctor, correct? Of course he is. And he and his wife... Esme," she flipped through some papers, "adopted you and your sister Rosalie. Along with the rest of you."

I nodded, grimly. This wasn't good. We were being watched by the state? This. Was. Not. Good.

"Have you ever been abused?"

I was taken back by her question. "No! Never. My parents died when I was young in a car accident." I'm glad Carlisle had taught us the reason of our 'adoption'.

She nodded. "Uh huh. But, I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about Carlisle and Esme. Do you have any problems at home, Jasper? Physical, verbal, emotional, neglect even?"

"No." That was all I had to say.

"Of course you don't, boy; they all say that. But, who are you fooling? Me.. or yourself?" She said dramatically. "You teachers are worried for your family's well-being. You are a shell of what you once were! A happy, carefree child!" She pretended to sob, I think. This lady was insane. "I'm afraid your so called parents will have to be questioned."

This was not happening. "...What? No! What on earth are you doing?! How could you come up with these ridiculous assumptions? Do you do this to everyone you meet!?" I couldn't help to be defensive about Carlisle and Esme. They have helped Alice and I in so many ways, welcoming us with open arms and without question.

She pointed an accusing finger at me. "You, young man, are in denial!"

I sighed, forgetting to be careful with my emotions so I would not affect her. I sent waves of calm in her direction, and she visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry, that was out of hand; helping children is my passion." I nodded, 'forgiving' her.

"So, as I was saying, your adoptive parents need to be questioned. Also, you yourself will have to be questioned as well. And, to try a new program study, I want you to write a report on all of the emotions you feel during the day. Sadness, anger, depression, you name it. I'm sure this will be hard for you, not knowing how you truly feel because of what you have been through recently, but whatever you write will help me help you."

I opened my mouth to question her sanity and why she believed these horrible things, but she held up a finger silencing me. "I'll see you again tomorrow, but right now you need to go back to class. We'll finish this later, m'kay?

She stood up, I as well, and shook my hand before scooting me out of the room.

Back at class, everything was a mess. With the teacher afraid of seemingly nothing, the students found this to be a perfect time to goof off. Alice looked at me. "What's wrong? You look upset."

I avoided a paper ball thrown in my direction. "I am. The school thinks we're all being abused or something because of how sickly we look. Particularly me, apparently. My scars didn't exactly help. A social worker wants to question Carlisle, Esme, and I. And, I'm supposed to write how I feel." I rolled my eyes at the thought.

Alice pouted. "This can't be any good. But, you're a master of emotions, so that shouldn't be a problem. However, the whole questioning thing is what's worrying me. Why didn't I see this?" She looked at her small, delicate hands as if they held the answer.

I put my arm on her shoulder. "If you didn't see it, it shouldn't be that much of a big deal, right? We'll be okay."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. I do."

She grinned. "Now that that's out of the way, I think you need to fix him," she whispered, pointing at the teacher, who was crying about something incoherent.

I smiled sheepishly. "I think I do, too."

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"You can't be serious!" Rosalie shouted. "We just can't be questioned! Jasper, how could you let this happen? Sometimes I hate you. You bring such bad luck to us!"

Alice lept up from her seat beside me and poked Rosalie in the chest. "Don't you even dare talk to him like that! It's not his fault! And you're not even going to be talked to! You should just... Argh! Emmett, how can you stand this?!" I hadn't seen Alice this angry in a long time.

Emmett shrugged. "I 'unno. I just do, I guess. I'll talk to her alone, okay?" He quickly took Rosalie's hand, whispering something in her ear.

Alice crossed her arms. "You better. I'm about to rip off her pretty little head." Rosalie growled and took off upstairs. Emmett rolled his eyes and chased after her.

Bella causiously walked out of the kitchen. "It's safe to come out now, right?" Esme nodded, and stood up to let her sit by Edward. "So, what's going on?"

"According to Jasper and a phone call from the high school, a social worker is coming to question some of us," Edward responded. "This is the first time this has ever happened."

I hung my head. "I'm sorry."

Alice sat next to me again and wrapped her tiny arms around me. "Oh, we know it's not your fault. This was bound to happen sometime; people are too nosy nowadays. These social workers are made for being annoying. It's their purpose in life."

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Yes, we all agree. Now, we need to figure out what to do when they come. I want everyone to hunt tonight and before you go to school. We can't afford to let anything happen. Also, we need to buy some human food so they don't say we don't feed you all. Bella? If they ask, I want you to prepare something people normally tend to like. And maybe you should get Esme to help you, too. Edward, take Bella to the store and buy enough food that seems necessary. I believe that will be fine for now."

Everyone rang out a chorus of agreement and left to their own business. I followed Alice to our room and we lay on the bed together. Something was troubling her. "What's wrong, love?"

She sighed and sat up, much to my protest. "...I'm not sure. I mean, what will happen if they don't like our little charade?" She crossed her legs. "They'd probably split us all up, Jasper, and then they would realize how... different we are from everyone else. It'd cause a huge panic."

"Alice, don't think like that. Nothing will happen. Like I said earlier today; if you didn't see this coming, it probably won't be a real problem." I took her hand in mine and kissed the tips of her fingers. She giggled and latched herself onto my neck.

"You're so sweet, Jasper. I'm glad I had those first visions of you all those years ago."

I grinned. "Me too, Mrs. Alice Hale. Me too."

Alice got up and wagged her finger at me. "Well, doesn't Mr. Jasper Hale have some annoying emotion thingy to write? If he doesn't, the big, bad social worker will blow our house down. Think of the fit Esme would pitch..." Alice trailed off.

I gave her a mock glare. "Fine then, I will write my paper and I won't let you read it."

"What?!" Alice gasped. She practically jumped on me, causing us both to land on the bed. Hard. There was a visble crack in the floor. "Forget the big, bad social worker fit, the fit she'll pitch about the floor is going to be waaay worse." Alice laughed nervously.

"Jasper?! Alice?! What was that noise?!"

I bit my lip. "Shoot."

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Today, I felt an odd type of fustration, followed by worry. I don't want to be taken away from my family. Nor do I want any of my family to be arrested for something that hasn't have happened. We have never been hurt in such a way, and I know for an undeniable fact that we never will. It's an absurd thought, really. Why would anyone adopt someone just to hurt them? Especially someone like Carlisle or Esme, two of the most caring people I have ever met in my entire life.

And the 'proof' that these ignorant fools have of our 'abuse' isn't reliable. The scars I have are from the accident that killed my parents. Rosalie has none because she wasn't in the car with us. Just my parents and I. You wouldn't expect someone who went through something like that to come out unscathed, would you?

I also feel annoyance. Like I said, why would anyone adopt someone just to hurt them? Why does someone have to barge into our lives because the word of people I see for a few hours, five days a week? Why can't anyone believe what I say, I'm the main witness to my own accusation. But, the judge doesn't see past the gavel set in stone. And the jury just sits back and watches from a distance, ready to point fingers in every which way. The cowards.

So, I may not appear older than I am. However, I know for a fact I've seen, heard, expirienced, and matured more than who ever is reading this blasted paper.

And no, none of which I've seen, heard, and expirienced is abuse.

- Jasper Hale

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"Hmm... this is very well written. Have you ever considered becoming a journalist or writer?" Ms. Bridge, the social worker from before, said listlessly.

"No. Now get back on subject." I wasn't in the mood for this mindless chit chat. Today my home was going to be raided by a stranger who believes I've been phyically and emotionally tortured.

Ms. Bridge rolled her eyes. "Such anger," she muttered. "Okay, have you ever attempted suicide?"

"Never."

"Play any sports?"

"An occasional game of wrestling with Edward or Emmett, or a family baseball game."

"Hobbies?"

"Strategic battle planning, video games, and reading."

"Best friend?"

"Alice."

The large woman sighed. "Okay, back at the hobbies. You said strategic battle planning. That seems a bit... unnatural for a teenager to enjoy. Do you get a feeling of accomplishment? Pride? Are you violent?"

"No. No. I don't believe myself to be, however, if someone I care about is in trouble, I would definately help at whatever cost it may be. No one will be left behind if I can help it."

Ms. Bridges gave me an odd look. "Okay, what if Alice were in trouble. Like, I don't know, maybe she accidently killed someone. Would you take the blame to protect her?"

"Of course."

"Of course..." She echoed. "Jasper, dear, I will allow you to go back to class; I need to analyze the answers you've given me."

I left the room without a second glance in her direction. She had kept me for three hours, asking me countless, random questions. Alice was elated at my arrival. When I sat down she was instantly asking me what had happened. "She asked me everything. 'What's your favourite colour?', 'have you ever harmed yourself?', 'what type of music do you listen to?' I don't know if there's anything she didn't ask me."

Alice giggled. "So, Jasper, boxers or briefs?"

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Everyone sat impatiently in the living room, ready for our uninvited guest to arrive. Carlisle, Esme, and I rehearsed what we were supposed to say several times, to make sure our stories were straight. We had even told everyone else what we were planning on saying so if they unexpectantly had to be questioned as well. Rosalie was nowhere to be seen, making Emmett neverous, which made me nervous, and in turn, I made everyone else nervous.

Everyone was dressed casual, but not too casual. Alice, a yellow sundress, and I, a brown shirt with dark jeans. My arm was draped over Alice, protectively, as if Ms. Bridge would rip us apart.

A quiet revving noise assured us of her being here, and Carlisle briskly walked to the front door, followed by Esme.

As soon as the offending woman stepped foot into our mansion, she stopped breathing for a second. "I had no idea it would be this beautiful. I thought the outside was just a lure." Esme narrowed her eyes, feeling a bit insulted by the comment.

Carlisle noticed his wife's sudden change in mood, and boldly greeted Ms. Bridge. "Would you like a tour of the house?"

The lady pursed her lips. "I think that would be nice. And after that, we can move onto the questions."

Carlisle nodded, and beckoned Esme and I to accompany him. Alice pouted at my having to go, but didn't further protest.

I quickly noticed as we were walking to the first room, Ms. Bridge would occasionally tap the walls, or poke at a painting. She kicked at a few of the rugs and stomped a bit when we were upstairs. She demanded to see every room, which she thoroughly inspected every corner, closet, drawer, and under every bed. She swiped a finger on every shelf, televison, and computer. She even began to sniff things. I was beyond disgusted, and reqested if I could go back to the living room. She agreed, and I, again, left without looking back.

I lay on the one of the many couches, with Alice snuggled up in my chest. Bella was sitting on Edward's lap, both whispering to each other, and Emmett had left to find Rosalie.

Roughly twenty minutes later, Ms. Bridge, Carlisle, and Esme were back. Ms. Bridge ushered everyone out of the living room and into the kitchen. Alice pouted again, but left obediantly.

The unwanted visitor spewed a torrent of pointless questions, most of them needing a yes or no answer. She recorded every one of them. I got bored, having answered all of these before, but I was required to answer them all again. After the questions, Ms. Bridge asked to talk to Esme and Carlisle alone.

As soon as I entered the unnecessary room, Alice latched onto my arm. "I had a vision, Jasper." She was visbly shaken, and Edward and Bella's emotions were haywire. I felt panicky.

"What is it, Alice?"

She hesitated, and her lip quivered. "They're goi--"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Carlisle's voice boomed with authority. Everyone ran into the living room to see what was wrong. I unconciously grabbed Alice's hands, awaiting the news.

Carlisle and Ms. Bridge were standing up, staring each other in the eye. His face bore an unmasked fury, while Ms. Bridge wore a face full of set determination. Esme had her hand in front of her mouth, golden eyes wide, seemingly frozen.

"Alice, what did you see?" I pleaded quietly.

My Alice whimpered. "They're going to take you away, Jasper," she responded before collapsing into my arms.

The weight of the world suddenly crashed onto my shoulders, and I sank to the floor. "No." I begged. "Not now."

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OHMYGAWD. I typed the title of the story wrong x.x
It's How I Feel, How I Fell.
Imma idiot
><;;

And I just practically killed Jasper D:
He'll be fine, I hope.

Angry Carlisle makes me smile.

I'm afraid that this isn't going to be as long as the first chapter. I'm sorry. I'm requiring myself that all chapters have to be at least 2,000 words or over. I hope that'll be enough.

Disclaimer: I, in whatsoever fashion, will never own Twilight. Isn't it kind of obvious? If I did, I wouldn't be wasting my time here; I'd be getting the rest of the books published! And other characters, besides Bella, Edward, and Jacob, would be important.

Share the minor-ish character love!

Some of this chapter is out of order a little and skips around a lot. And, the last to scenes are in third person; I want it that way, it adds a cool effect, I think.


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How I Feel, How I Fell Chapter Two
Vision

I held a simple bag, clutching it to my chest. It was now my only thing, my everything, in this new place I was being taken to. Karr's Adoption Center. It was supposedly the best one around, and 'they say kids who are there, are there for about a week.' Whoever 'they' are. I took out a picture of Alice and I at our wedding, and stroked my thumb on her delicate figure. The photo had to be hidden at all times. I couldn't imagine the drama if someone had found out I had been legally married for longer they had been alive. I inwardly shuddered at the thought.

One thing that really scared me to second death was how am I to feed? I can't just tell who ever runs the place that I need to hunt so I won't kill everyone who lives there. They would think me insane and never let me outside. Another thing, what will happen if I am forced outside when the sun is shining? I actually felt sick. It was a bit strange.

After several hours of a lonely car ride, we had arrived at the wretched place. It had a modern, but welcoming look to it. I looked around, figuring out the best means of escape. If I hid behind that bush, and jumped over that fence, I cou--

Ms. Bridge gave me a bored look. "Don't even think about it, boy. There's no way to leave by yourself. It's impossible."

"I bet you think vampires are impossible, too..." I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

She pushed me into the prison called an adoption agency. There were children running in every direction, while the teenagers were talking or listening to music. A bald man came to greet us. He was taller than me by a bit and looked intimadating on the outsdie, but on the inside he felt inferior and powerless. He shook my hand and told me to go where ever I like for now. I didn't move; I only crossed my arms.

Ms. Bridge looked at me with narrowed eyes, "look, don't ruin this. This'll be your only chance at a new life. Embrace it. Now, get out of here. Mr. Karr and I have to talk."


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I held Alice in my arms as Ms. Bridge told us why I wasn't allowed to stay. She thought I was harming myself over some depression about my 'real' parents. She also said I have pent up anger and was ready to snap at any moment. Esme had to leave the room, she was too distraught to hear anything. The thought of one of her children being taken away was too much for her. Bella was crying, Edward was trying to console her, and Carlisle was attempting to negotiate a way to let me stay. Alice and I were silent the whole time.

"Dr. Cullen! Can you not see him?! He has more scars than anyone could ever count! How do you explain those?!"

He gave a frustrated growl, "we told you, he was in the accident! He wouldn't be perfectly fine after that! And taking him away from us will only make things worse!"

"Look, that's not my problem. But this place is deemed unsafe for him until further notice. He has two days left with you. Use them wisely." The woman spat, and stormed out of our house, slamming the door.

Carlisle sat down and put his head in his hands. "How could this happen?" He asked himself.

Edward and Bella looked at me, eyes full of sympathy. "We're so sorry, Jasper. So sorry."

--

Alice and I lay on our bed, keeping each other company. I had never seen her so sad, and my dead heart was breaking in two. "Why would that vile woman want to do this to us?" Her usual happy-go-lucky demeanor had disapeared. She was broken, and it was my fault.

"Shh... Alice, dear, please. I don't want to think of that right now. Can't we just lay here and be happy while we can? I only have the rest of today and tomorrow until I have to go."

She looked at me with her wide, golden eyes, brimmed with tears that were never going to fall. "Jasper... Y-you broke your promise. You said we'll be o-okay." She quickly got up and ran out of the room.

My dead heart had shattered.

--

I sat the roof of our mansion, watching the night sky alone. I couldn't bear to see Alice right now, I had caused her so much pain. I was staring at the crescent moon and stars. They'll be the only thing at will never change, where ever I may go. I figured I had better familiarize myself with them so I'll feel at home even when I'm not. I thought it to be a trifle poetic, actually.

It wasn't long before someone came to disturb my peace. Edward slinked over and sat next to me. "What's on your mind?"

I scoffed. "That's a stupid question considering you can read everyone's mind. And, even if you couldn't, the answer is obvious." I sighed and turned my head away from him. I could feel him mentally prodding at me, but I made no attempt to stop him. It was no use.

"Jasper! You can be so dense sometimes! All this nonsense about how everything is your fault is wrong! And Alice isn't disapointed in you, she's disapointed in herself for no--"

I jumped off the roof suddenly, looking, -longing- for my sweet Alice.


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"So, the new guy thinks he's too cool to talk to us, huh?" A dark haired boy with a scowl on his face had been pestering me every since I had sat down. There were a few more kids following him around like he was a god. A chorus of 'yeahs' and 'you tell that new guy' rung around us. The leader leaned in closer. "You look like one of those emo kids. What're you here for?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not emo and I'm here for no real reason." I said through grit teeth. "Why do you care?"

The kids laughed, obviously finding it hilarious that I didn't know. "Because I own this place. I'm been here since I was four. I've learned everything about Karr's Adoption Center, probably even more than Mr. Karr himself. So, what's you're name? I'm Aaron Penn." He sat next to me and grabbed a clip board from out of nowhere.

I sighed. "Jasper Hale."

Aaron scribbled for a while. "Uh huh. Where're you from? This is mandatory, dude."

"Forks, Washington."

Everyone burst out laughing. "You lived at a place called Forks?! What type of name is that?!"

If I weren't in such a bad mood, I probably would have ended up laughing myself. I hopped the couch, several people fighting about who would get to sit there next, and wondered off. The building was rather big, probably having enough room to house a few hundred kids at once. The walls were painted light green and the floor and borders were cream. Pictures that kids drew were huge on the walls, some were scribbles while others were masterpieces.

After a moment or so, I leaned my back against the wall and let myself sink to the floor. Never in my life had I wished that I could cry so hard. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing you would say aloud to just anyone, but someone like my Alice would understand. I sat there with my head buried in my hands, wanting and willing myself to let some tears fall. Even one would make this slightly better, slightly more bearable. I knew, of course, it would never happen, but everyone needs dreams, right?

"Hey, mister guy? Are you okay?"

I poked my head up from my hands, seeing a small child in blue corduroy overalls. He looked to be about five or six, and hand a finger in his mouth. In my sulking, I must have not noticed him approach me.

"Uh. Yeah, I'm okay."

The boy scrunched his eyes at me. "You sure? You look reeeaaally sad. And maybe a lil' hungry. I'm a lil' hungry, too, but I had a friend who liked to eat worms. I told him he was nasty and he threw dirt in muh eyes. I called him a meanie face and ran to Miss Erica, 'cuz she's really nice. And she's pretty..."

My throat tightened at the childs rambling and vemon pooled in my mouth. He reminded me of how thristy I am going to be, how thirsty I will be.

"... I thought it was the hugest tree ever! Deven said he sawed a bigger one with his dad one day, but I said no way. He said yeah I did and I said no and I kicked him. He started cryin'. He really likes to cry. Are you sure yer gonna be okay?"

I nodded. "I think I will."

The boy made a face and pulled a sticky piece of candy out of his pocket. "You can have this, ya know?"

My jaw agaped slightly, suprised at the child's kindness. "I-I can't take this. You keep it." I gently pushed his hand back.

He made a whining noise. "Why not? I want to give it to you. Yer my new buddy." He thrust his hand bareing the candy back at me. "Please?"

I allowed myself to grin. "Okay..." I sheepishly took the disgusting, melted thing from his hand and pretended to pop it in my mouth. I believe it ended up sticking to the wall.

The boy laughed. "Feel better?" I nodded. "Good. I'm Andrew. Wha's yer name?"

"Jasper Hale." I stood up, and Andrew came up a bit shorter than my waist.

"Wow! Yer really tall!"


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I found Alice in the living room, talking to Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme about something. I shly took a seat next to Alice. She acted as if she didn't notice me. Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett felt my distress and quietly left the room. Alice sighed and faced me.

"I'm sorry."

We both said it at the same time. "Alice, you have no reason to be sorry. You can't control everything that happens in life, as try as you might." She put a finger to my lip, silencing me.

"But, Jasper, if I had had those visions, none of this mess would have happened. I don't think I'm trying hard enough. Maybe I'm losing my power," she paused. "I want to go with you, Jasper. Please let me. What if something happens, and I can't tell you? Or if I can't..." she trailed off. I caught what she was trying to say. She was talking about my control.

"I'm sorry, love, but I don't think you can go. Trust me, I really wish you could, ... but I don't think Esme, or any of us for that matter, has it in them to say good bye to another family member." It would crush them even more the see Alice go.

Alice took my hand. "I do trust you, Jasper."


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"And this is where you will be sleeping. You'll be staying with another boy, but don't worry; you won't be sharing a bed or anything." An overly cheerful guide had shown me around, now ending at the last stop. It was almost 9:00 PM, and the guide had decided it was best if I checked in with my room. Number 247. The guide handed my meager belongings and left, leaving me alone.

The room was simple, the same light green walls and creme floors as the halls. The were two white beds on each side of the room, both scoring a dresser with a Bible on it. But, on the left dresser, pictures of a family addorned it. There was a window in the center of the room.

I sighed, going to the right bed and began to unpack. I took out the photos of everyone in my 'family', Alice being in all of them. I smiled to myself, and placed them on the dresser after putting the Bible in the lower shelf. Next came out a few electronics, which consisted of an iPod and a PSP with a few games, and a cell phone. I put them in the first drawer. Lastly, I had brought as many clothes as I could. They were all neatly folded, and I put them on top of my electronics as to hide them.

I got up to open my window before laying on the bed. A few minutes the door loudly kicked open. "Why, hello there, Jasper of Forks."

Aaron.


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It had been a week since Jasper had left the Cullen residence, and Alice had refused to talk to anyone or to hunt. Everyone had been worried for her, while she was worried for Jasper. She lay on the floor of her room, tossing a book up into the air before catching it again. Alice's eyes glazed over, and the book fell hard to the floor.

--

"Emmett, learn to drive, you're slower than Bella," Edward teased. He and Emmett were playing a racing game together, Rosalie, Esme, and Bella cheering when someone made a lap.

The was a sudden, sharp noise from upstairs caught everyone's attention. Carlisle came from the room next over. "What was that...?" He mused aloud. There was a running noise, and Alice's lithe form instantly appeared in front of everone. She was breathing hard, although she didn't need to, and her eyes were wide with terror.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Esme asked, scared for her child.

"It's Jasper! He's going to lose control!" The pixie girl cried hysterically, and took off for the garage, keys in hand.


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Andrew had been running from Deven, playing a game of tag in the halls, only to trip and scratch his knee, breaking skin. He began crying, alerting everyone of his injury. Unfortunatly, Jasper had been sitting in a chair a few feet away from the ordeal.

Jasper let out a strangled cry, confusing the kids and staff nearby. He gripped his hair, and bit his lip, desperatly trying to control the monster inside of him. He wanted the blood, he needed the blood. Not himself, anymore, he lept from the chair and lunged himself at the sobbing child...

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I must like torturing everyone o.O
Be happy for the actual plot beginning to surface, I guess.

The title is still How I Feel, How I Fell, by the way.

OHH. I READ THIS ON FF.NET.

I LOOOOOVED IT.

Seriously loved it.

I'm going to continue posting in this colour.

Disclaimer: As much as I will ever wish, hope, pray, and dream, I will never own Jasper and Alice. Nor the rest of the people I slightly wish I owned. Slightly. Stephanie Meyer owns them. Oh, how lucky is she...

Spread the minor character love, everybody!


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I couldn't stop myself. I felt my being breaking in half; one Jasper longing to have the warm blood trickling down my scorching throat, while the of myself, the better half, struggling to protect everything my family had been trying to keep secret. I just couldn't stop myself.

I was flying through the air, watching all the stunned and confused expressions around me. I felt myself smirk, getting some sick and twisted form of happiness from it. Andrew never even had time to look up; I snapped his delicate throat in half a second. His blood was nothing short of delicious. Everyone began to scream and tried to scramble away from me. No, my prey can't escape so easily. If they can even escape at all...

Before I had even registered the thought that I had ended an innocent child's life, I had taken several more. A new strength coursed through me. I felt exhilarated, enthralled, alive. And, despite my cries, and the cries of the people I had slaughtered, I couldn't stop. The simple phrase repeated in my head.

Bodies littered the ground, all of the blood once in them drained away. My thrist was more than content with my new diet, but some part of me was not. And I couldn't stop myself from carefully snapping Aaron's neck so not to really harm him, leaving him crumpled on the ground. I didn't kill him, no. I felt like watching him suffer, and letting him watch everyone else's suffering. I was disgusted with myself, but, again, I could not stop.

A few of the people who were still alive were trying to unlock an emergency door. Who would lock one of those, anyway? I took slow and menacing strides toward them, feeling their fear rise up to unimaginable proportions. One of them turned around, feeling a bit brave. "What are you?! What type of person could commit such awful crimes?!"

I grinned and somersaulted in front of them, "I'm not a person at all. Think of me as your own personal Dracula."

After seeing their shocked expressions and terrified emotions, I kicked at one of them, shattering her ribcage. She flew back and hit the wall across the room, sweet blood seeping from her mouth. The remaining humans scattered away, it all in vain as I snapped them in half. I stood, watching them fall down in slow motion. The entire room was painted with blood and corpses. I stood there for what seemed to be forever letting the image sinking in.

My eyes widened as I realized what I had really done. I was the cause of a massacre. And I just could not stop.


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"It's Jasper! He's going to lose control!"

"Oh crap," Emmett muttered, "this can't be good."

Rosalie scoffed. "Told you."

Everyone quickly piled into their cars, following Alice's lead. She drove madly, praying that she would make it there in time. Her vision frightened her beyond words; Jasper would never allow himself to do that. ... She hoped.

After an hour of driving well over the speed limit, they had made it to Karr's Adoption Center. It was deadly quiet. A beautiful, delicious scent alerted everyone that Alice's vision had came true. She broke into a frantic run. Edward led Bella away, not wanting her to see something so horrible. Esme shook her head in silence, letting Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie chase after Alice.


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I let myself to crawl into a corner cleared of blood, just staring at my hands. It wasn't that I couldn't stop myself, it was that I didn't stop myself. I had some basic amount of control, I think. There definately should have been. I felt an eerie sense of calm; it was so unnerving. I was scared. Scared of what will happen next. Scared what will happen to my family. Scared of what will happen to Alice.

I saw a bit of my reflection in a broken shard of glass that lay on the ground. I tilted my head so I could see myself better. I was covered in the foul liquid that gave me some twisted form of life. My eyes. My eyes were the proof of what I had done. I desperately began to scratch at my crimson red irises, hoping to somehow change them back to their once golden color. I knew it wouldn't work or help in any way, but I couldn't bring myself to quit. Pathetic...

I heard vehicles outside. I pressed myself as close as I could to the corner. The door opened and a chorus of gasps rung in the air, and Alice had quickly flitted in front of me. A pain I knew I had caused filled her topaz orbs. She hesitantly reached her small hand out to touch me, but I flinched away.

"Please, Alice, don't look at me. I'm a monster."

Her shoulders slumped and she walked away. I timidly stood up and followed her, self consious. I felt everyone's repoachful look, and everyone's mixed emotions. Fear, anger, hate, disapointment, anxiety. If I could, I would throw up. Carlisle stepped forward while I took an uneasy step back. "Jasper, I--"

"No! It's all of my fault! I shouldn't have killed all of these people! Don't talk to me, please." I hung my head, "I... I want to die."

Everyone gasped. "You can't mean that!"

I turned away and retreated back to my corner. Carlisle sighed and told everyone to leave me be and inspect the bodies for any sign of life. I weakly pointed to Aaron's broken form. I never finished with him; he was probably unconsious. Carlisle gently picked him up and motioned everyone to follow him. We all complied without question, eager to leave the mess. No one said anything.

Edward had Bella wrapped protectivly in his arms, watching me with calculating eyes, and I didn't blame him. If we switched positions, I would want to protect Alice.

Alice. She probably hates me. Or something relativly close. She came to stand beside me and took my hand. "Let's go before anyone shows up." I nodded and sat in the passenger seat of her porsche.

I looked at my drenched clothes. "Sorry about your seat. ...Sorry about everything."

"My seat'll be fine," she replied. I felt downstruck. She was avoiding the 'everything.' "...Carlisle is going to take that boy to a hospital nearby. He's going to say he saw him on the side of a road."

I nodded. "Alice, I'm really sorry. More than that." I glanced at my hands again, swallowing the vemon which thristed for more.

"I just don't know anymore, Jazz. What are we going to do?" Alice's voice cracked. "...What if the place had security cameras? Then everyone will now because it's obvious the media'll put that out there. We'll be hunted down by everyone; the FBI and the Volturi. They're going to want to kill you. I just don't know anymore. Sorry doesn't fix everything," she finished in a whisper.

"Maybe you should just let them kill me..."

We didn't speak for the rest of the ride home.

The first thing I did was take a shower. And then another one. And another. Then, I burned the clothes I wore. I felt a little bit better, but not much. Alice never even glanced at me. No one did, save for Carlisle and Esme, who only shot disapointed looks. I was tempted to just jump into the fire everyone watched, but Emmett stood beside me, ready for if I did anything stupid.

When all of that was over, I took my place on the roof, gazing at the stars again. The moon was barely a sliver, nothing to even bother looking at. Why did I kill all of those people? All of those children? Why couldn't I have been stronger and not even care that the child was bleeding? Why am I such a monster? I doubted that I would ever know.

I frowned, and watched Carlisle put the fire out, careful not to burn himself. I leapt of my perch on the roof and stood by him. He nodded, letting me know he knew I was there. "... How are you able not to kill your patients?"

He wiped his hands on the side of his pants. "Hundred of years of practice."

"Could you teach me?"

"I'm sorry, Jasper, but it's not something you can learn. It's something you do. I've tasted my share of human blood, like you. All you need to do is practice your self control."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, but how do you practice?"

"That's something you have to learn."

Carlisle is a bucket full of wisdom.


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"...This morning at 6:30, at Karr's Adoption Center several dozen bodies were found, most pf which were drained of all blood. Everyone there was killed and two people are reported missing. The police are looking in to the gruesome scene, needing to watch the security tapes. So far, there are no suspects, but that will change very shortly..."

"Turn the TV off," I growled. No one did anything, so I grabbed the remote from Edward and pressed the off button. Everyone turned around and looked at me with sad, golden eyes. I left the room and heard the TV come on again. It wasn't fair, I was the only one who was tempted. They say they are too. I don't believe them. What's wrong with me? Why am I being so suspicious of everything? I began pacing around the house. Maybe I need a good hunt to clear my mind, the human blood must be making me crazy.

I past the kitchen a few times and eventually Esme poked her head out of the door, probably annoyed that I was interrupting her sewing. No, she was just worried. Everyone is. I'm not sure. "Are you okay, Jasper, dear?"

I spun sharply on my heel to face her. "No. I don't think I am."

OMFG. POOR JASPER!!! This soooo amazing! Pleeeeease continue!

Love it <3

More soon

Poor Jasper...

Omigoshthanksyouguysss!

Ashita! Me hearts your signature!
Now I wants a Jasper-y one~

Gaaaah. They need to make a picture of Alice and Jasper TOGETHER. Darn Japanese and not knowing which pictures to draw. -So many useless ones-

I shall make a Jasper one. Eventually.

Update-y?

I'm sorry for not updating as much as I'd like. My schedule is completely full for this month. Tuesday and Wednesday is full of practice, the 8th and 10th is the festival, the 16th is a field trip, the 20th is a Civil War Ball my school is hosting, and 21rst and 22nd are final exams.

My writing is sloppy without Edison Glass. I need to listen to This House or nothing gets done. Listen to it. Now.

Disclaimer: Why do I even bother with these? I mean, I've already said it three times already. Legal rights and such are really annoying. Anyways, I hereby and henceforth swear on my freaking honor that I do not, and forever and ever and ever and ever will not own Twilight, and all of it's lovely characters. There.

Share the minor character love!


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How I Feel, How I Fell
Decisions

I hesitantly put my hand on the doorknob, waiting for Alice's approval to come in. The TV was blaring loudly through the walls, about the 'incident' as we now called it. "Come in..." Her voice was strangly hoarse.

I clenched my teeth, slightly regretting even coming up here in the first place. I know she must hate me. A part of me wanted to deny that, but I wasn't sure which side to listen to. I haven't been really 'listening' to my head for a few hours now. I've been telling myself some pretty bad things. And I know half of the stuff I tell myself is false, but then there's always that self doubt. And then... I opened the door. I had kept Alice waiting long enough.

She was lying on the bed, her golden eyes half lidded, mindlessly blowing some bubbles. When she got them was beyond me. I watched some of the delicate soap float into the air, marveling at it's colour before it popped. I blinked, and Alice giggled. I didn't exactly expect that, but I was glad she was feeling a bit more like herself.

She quickly got up and walked toward me. "... So, um, Alice, I was wanting to sa--" She put a finger on my lips, effortlessly silencing me.

"I know. And I forgive you." She looked at me with a faint smile, "it's not entirely your fault; you were 'dying' of thirst. You held on as long as you could. Although, I wish that those peoples' fates weren't so tragic..." She trailed off, suddenly finding the floor to be very interesting.

"You mean you aren't mad at me?"

She looked up at me and put on a familiar pout, "Jazz, you know I can never be mad at you. Last night, I was... suprised, for lack of a better word." She took my hand in hers, comparing the two. Hers was small and smooth while my hand was calloused and had a particularly nasty scar on the palm. "How did this one get here?" She asked. "I forget."

I looked up at the ceiling, as if it held the answer. "Uhm... Shoot. I can't remember either." I lied. I know each and everyone one of my scars stories. The war, the newborns, Maria. She knew I didn't like to talk about my past. It sort of bothered me she would ask so blantantly, but it was to keep my mind of our current troubles. That I caused.

She laughed and I grinned, upset that I hadn't told her the truth. But I did actually feel a bit better, like a weight had been lifted from me. And Alice wasn't angry; I could feel no trace of resentment in her. Just hope and uncertainty. The latter troubled me.

And she saw right through it. "Are you okay? You seem worried."

I shook my head no. "We should head down stairs, everyone's becoming apprehensive."

She frowned and skipped to the door. She cocked her head when I didn't move.

"I really am sorry, Alice. I never wanted to kill those people."


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"Oh, my God. Are you sure?" Officer Swan whispered into the phone. The other person on the phone sighed a yes. Charlie felt cold and began to chew on his lip. 'There was no way that could happen. I have to... I don't know what to do,'. He thought. Charlie mentally kicked himself. 'This is no time to be afraid and/or reluctant. I need, wait, I have to take action.' He hung up the phone and quickly dialed Bella's cell phone number.

There were two rings before Bella's voice answered. "...Dad? Why are you calling?" She sounded confused.

"Bella, you have to get out of there. You and everyone else are in danger!"

There was a pause, and Edward's voice was in the background. She finally responded, "What do you mean?" Bella seemed a bit nervous. "We're all at Edward's, playing Monopoly. Alice is winning, but I think she's cheating." More of Edward and some shouting in the background. A fight?

Charlie let out an exasperated sigh. "Bella. Just. Get. Home. Now. I will explain why later." He hung up and dialed Carlisle's office.


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We were actaully playing Monopoly. And of course Alice was winning. We were doing this to take our minds off of the dilema at hand. I watched Bella sadly get out of Edward's lap, a tad of fear radiating off of her. Edward whispered something to her. 'I'll go with you; he never said I couldn't.' Bella nodded excitedly and they left hand in hand. Alice 'awwed'. And then she laughed. We all did. But, it seemed forced.

Emmett decided to devote half of this hotels to Rosalie, who wanted to have a permanent 'get out of jail free' card. I gave most of my share of everything to Alice. Eventually, Alice ended up with all of the money, built what she said to be a casino, raised an army of the unused peices, and declared war on Emmett's and Rosalie's bankrupt hotels.

It was safe to say that we were terrible at sticking to the rules of most board games.

"... Why don't we watch some good mind numbing television instead of attack each other with plastic houses?" I suggested warily, seeing the small peices being flung across the room. Everyone quickly agreed and shuffled the game under the rug. I'm sure Esme would be proud. Emmett snatched the remote from me and flicked through the channels.

"Boring, boring, boring, super boring, stupid, boring, commerial, boring, that's going to be a lawsuit, boring... Now that looks interesting!" He was refering to a show where a whole bunch of women were running around in bikini's. One look from Rosalie made him give up the remote to her. "You know I was just kidding..." He laughed as she slowly examined the next show. There was a man dancing around on roller blades, playing a harmonica. She frowned and turned it to the TV Guide Channel. Nothing was obviously on, except for the news. She turned it there.

'... And that is why you should never leave your toaster on for extended periods of time. Now, Martin, back to you.'

'Thank you, Dianne. The police have investigated the horrifing scene at Karr's Adoption Center, which took place last night.'

I growled. The news just had to be the only thing worth watching.

'Officials say, 'it's surreal, like something out of a Hollywood horror story. It's difficult to believe how anyone could live with themself after something like this.' They've looked at the security tapes, and they have the suspect literally red handed. The person will be revealed at 5, so st--'

Alice had turned the TV off herself, her mood draped with melancholy. "Let's go hunting," she stated, simply. I followed her.

As soon as we were a ways from the mansion, Alice jumped on me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "Jasper, I don't want you to leave again. I can't see anything happening, and it terrifies me." She sounded hysterical. "I know I told you this already, but everyone's going to be out to get you. You don't have to have visions to know the Volturi and the FBI will chase us around the world and then some! And then what?"

I looked at her sadly. "I don't know, either, Alice. I just don't know."

She pursed her lips and after a while she let go of me, gracefully landing on the balls on her feet. "Let's hunt," she said quietly, "I'm sure you're quite thristy."

We both took of running as fast as we could, heading north. It was early fall, and the leaves were only beginning to turn yellow and orange. Soon enough, we saw a bear and its two cubs wandering around, searching for food. I looked at Alice and she nodded her head in agreement. She ran towards the left, and I to the right. We caught the bears in the middle, I tackling the mother while Alice got its cubs. Hearing its fearful whine and watching the animal go limp gave me a rush, but it wasn't as exciting as what the humans from a day or so ago did. Still, the bears blood was suffcient for now.

Alice and I traveled home together in silence, getting there in about four minutes of running. The door was open, and there was undistinguishable talking from the inside.

Alice let out a small noise, right before her eyes glazing over. I held her up, so she would not fall down. Suddenly, she snapped back to reality and sighed in relief. "It's okay, it's not the cops or anything. Although, it could be just as bad..." she trailed off.

I grabbed her hand, "I'm sure it's fine." I gently pulled her inside, only to be greeted by none other than Jane. I groaned inwardly. This was worse than the cops. This was the Volturi. What was Alice thinking by saying it was okay?

Jane giggled. "Come in, sit. We have much to discuss about the current situation." She grabbed our arms roughly, and dispite her small statute, pulled us harshly. It reminded me of when Emmett, or Edward, and I wrestled. I banished that thought from my head as I saw Aro surrounded by his guard.

"Hello, Jasper. We've heard you put yourself in a rather nasty pickle," he smiled warmly. He patted the seat across from him. "Care to explain? And then we'll see what needs to be done."

I sighed, and took to telling him everything, from Ms. Bridge, to the scraped knee. He kept nodding, urging me on. I stopped, excusing myself from telling the rest.

He gave a tsk, tsk noise and grinned. "A rather nasty pickle, indeed," he muttered to himself. "So, from what I can see, there are two options. The first is that we could eliminate you and your family, saving all of us the trouble of cleaning everything up." My eyes widened. There was no way I was going to let that happen. Not as long as I technically live.

"And the other option...?" I pressed on.

Aro grinned wickedly. "You could join us, the Volturi."


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And the plot thickens!

I laughed when they were playing monopoly, and then at the end, I yelled out, 'NO JASPER!' No seriously, my dad told me to be quiet I yelled so loud.

ZOMG

....Thats what happens at my house when we play monopoly to..

More zoon!