Chapter 1 Part 1: They’re back
http://enviousenvy101.deviantart.com/art/H...-s-Win-57692413

A ninja with long red hair lay under a pile trees, dead. She was a sound ninja, Tayuya. She was killed by Temari, a ninja that wields a giant fan that can control the wind. She was dead, but her eyes still opened.
“H-how am I alive?” She asked.
“Technically, you’re still dead Tayuya.” A voice could be heard. It didn’t sound familiar to Tayuya and her eyesight was blurry so she could not see who it was.
“Who are you? How do you know my name?”
“All in fair time Tayuya. I will remove the trees from you. Once I do and you regain consciousness you will find an obvious trail that only you will be able to see. Do not bring anyone else with you. I have already recovered your teammates Kimimaro, Sakon, and Ukon and they are already at the place.”
“What about Jirobo and Kidomaru?”
“I have no use for them.”
Just as quickly as she had awakened Tayuya had passed out. The last thing she heard were the trees moving off of her. She had passed out calmly.

…

A ninja, about Jounin rank, was crossing the Great Naruto Bridge.
“Wow, a mission to bring one of Orochimaru’s experiments from the mist village to the leaf. A mission that the hokage herself assigned to me. What an honor.”
The ninja was tripped. When the ninja looked to see what it was he saw what looked like a spine wrapped around his leg and it dragged him off the bridge. Then more bones wrapped around him. Then a giant bone pillar arose and a guy with long, grey hair grew out of it.
“W-who are you?” The ninja yelled in terror at the person.
“…” The person in the bone said nothing.
“Answer me!”
“…My name doesn’t concern the dead.” A bone dagger grew out of the person’s hand and he shot out of the bone, and at the person.

I think it's a good start.
It certainly got me interested.
I wanna see more soon.

excellent. a very good start. now i wanna know who kimimaro dragged down. ^-^

Thank you. I will post the second chapter either today or tomorrow.

okay... -sits down and waits-

Chapter 1 part 2: Demons and Clay

http://aidmoon.deviantart.com/art/Akatsuki...nation-58183119

The girl was screaming in fear as the monster was shooting at her. Her life flashed before her eyes. A clay bird flew past her, cuting the band in her hair and revealing her naturally curly hair. The bird flew straight at the other ninja and it exploded. The bone dagger he had continued to come tward her and it stabbed her in the eye. She pulled it out as fast as she could, screaming in pain. She felt something grab her arm and the bones that were grabbing her retract as she passed out from shock and blood loss.

...

"Are you serious Naruto?" Sakura asked as the frown she had changed into a radient smile.
"Yah."
"Well then we should go!"
"Let's."
Without consulting the Hokage or geting people to make a squad with, Naruto and Sakura ran to the area in the forest were Naruto last saw Sasuke. When they made it to the area they found in fear...

...

The girl awakened slowly. The wond in her eye was bandaged and it didn't even feel like there was anything there at all.
"W-what happened?"
"You were attacked by a ninja. You would have died if I didn't jump in."
She looked for who said that. She found a boy with long blond hair tied in a pony tail.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"...My name is Deidara, and you?"
"Shouga"

That is the end of chapter 1. sorry it is so short. the next will be longer.

Did you know that you can't have more the one person speaking per paragraph?

I'll fix that.

I think it needs more description/ details.
Got a few grammar/ spelling mistakes here and there.
But otherwise, I like this chapter. I really wanna know what happens next.
I want to see how Shouga reacts to Deidara later on..
And yeah, the paragraph structure makes the story kinda confusing.

I havent been able to update because of finals in my school. I will update the second they are finished.