Chris:Stewie, do you want some ice cream?
Stewie:Yes, very well then but NO sprinkles, for every sprinkle I shall find I will kill you.

lol, love your quote.

Chris: He wasnt always evil... *shows what happens to the monkey*

Peter:All men are alowed to look at naked ladies, even mister rougers.
Mister roger:Hello mamber, hooooooo.
(Im trying to afend.)

Louis:Stewie, what you just saw was a beautiful thing*After stewie sees louis and peter in bed*
Stewie:HA! Evidentally maddam You and I differ greatly in our conception of beauty!

Brain:O god you saw them together did you?
Stewie:Hmmmm
Brain:You the little tub you take your baths in? They did it there to.
Stewie:Gaaaaaheaaaaa.

Peter: *stops at restaurant* Yes I'd like to order *insert order*
Louis: PETER! She's having a baby!
Peter: Oh yeah, and a kid's meal too.

HillBilly: Mmm..you smell like the inside of my momma's purse.
Loise: Oh, why thankyou..*walks off*
Stewie: What is that attrocious sound im hearing? *Hillbilly, playing a banjo*

Peter: A yea ill like 6,000 chickin vegitas.
Cashyear:I bag your pardin?
Peter:A 6,000 chicken vegitas.

Peter: Is the Kernel in?
Cashier: *says in kentucky voice* No man, he dead
Peter: Is..the..Kernel..in?
Cashier: *kentucky voice*No man, i told ya. He dead.

Lowis:Hello sweety.

Stewie:You know mother life is like a box of chocloates you neverknow what your going to get, your life however is a box full of ACRIN GRINADES!

Stewie:*pointing to meg*What do you call that one, over there?
Chris:Thats Meg dude, you know that
Stewie:Meg, you are not to touch any of my things you vile smelly smelly girl.

Peter: And Meg's real father's name is..
Brian: Dan Thompson (or somthing like that). *Chris stares at Meg who is listening to loud music and has not heard anything*

*at the renaissance fair*

Tom Tucker:'The crowd has fallen deathly ill.....quiet sorry"


*in the episode Lil griffins*


Peter:'Make like siamese twins and split.....then one of you die."

Brian:WOAH a$$ ahoy,hey Peter it's 7:00 and you still have your pants on, whats the occasion?

Lol this is one thing I always hear Stewie say.

Stewie: *pause* DAMN YOU!

haha.

Chris: Please don't say poo...*walks out holding stomach*

Stewie:You've foiled my plans ever since I escaped from your wreched whome!

another

Louis:Stewie when the Doctor saw you he said you were the happiest baby there
Stewie:Of course, that was my victory day

Peter: But my sons dyin' of *insert the weirdo disease that he made up*.
Mr. Harris(or somin' like that): Hm....Sounds sexy.

Robot:Halt present hall pass.

Student:Right here.

Robot:Second request present hall pass.

Student:Ri... right here.

Robot:SECIRUTY BRECH SECIRUTY BRECH!*Pulls out guns*

Student:AHHHHHHHHHH!*Runs screaming*

Quagmire:whats wrong Peter?
Peter:Well I fell guilty about drinking after Louis asked me not to
Quagmire:it's ok Peter
Peter:wow I never thought of it that way

Stewie: A man in white you say? Oh no, they're going to put me back in the womb.

lol funny one

Secratary:No wait you cannot go in there
Peter:Just watch me *opens door and hits face against brick wall*
Secratary:No you can't go in there because it leads to nowhere try the other door.

Me gots another

Peter:Yes That is mine!
Louis:Peter isn't that Isentric(or something like that)
Peter:*Little mind guys*Esentric.... No no it means delicious
Peter:Louis Whose the boss is not a food
Brian:Swing and a miss

NICE ONE, HERES MINE!

peter:Family I don't say this often enough but,I'm gonna die!
Stewie:YEA!High five, anyone anyone?

(Louis answers the voice mail machine.)

An old man: Where's the paper boy, havent seen him around. *Beep* Do you know when the paper boy will get back *beep* Dont suppose the paper boy lives there? *beep*

another.

Louis: Please, we would just like our baby back..

Chris to Brian: This is where babies come from

Brian: *sigh* Yes Chris, this is where babies come from.

Chris to Louis: You told me i came out of your vagina!

Louis: *Blank stare*

Peter: Yes, were the family who had the crack addicted baby, and fed him dog food.

Tollman: *closes the window*

Lol

Peter:* sings like that m.c. hammer song*ju ju ju ju just like the bad guys from lethal wepons two I've got diplomatic immunity so hammer you can't sew I can write grafitti even j-walk in the street, I can ride a loot not give a hoot and touch your sisters teet can't touch me *dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun* I'm a bg shot theres no dought I light a fire and I pee it out don't like it, kiss my rump just for a minute lets all do the bump!*dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun*I'm presidential peter interns think I'm hot, don't care if you are handicapped I'll still park in your spot.I've been around the world from haverd to ban gay, *fast* its peter go Peter your peter I'm your peter cant see Regis rap this way cant touch me.*Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!*(normal voice)Except you, you can touch me

:cutelaugh:
Peter: Oh, yes he's got a rare disease...*Points to Chris's pepperoni covered belly*
TV Producer Man: But those are just pepperonies?!
Peter: *eats acouple*

another.

Stewie: It was the damn cookies you were after wasnt it?!
Girl: *opens mouth, shocked*
Stewie: Well you can keep the cookies. *throws the box at the ground, starts to walk away* Dont let her see you cry..

Stewie:The life of the wife is ended by the knife.

Brian:What leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?

Stewie:Once I rule the world I'll make your death quick and painless!

peter: Hey look brian my alfabets say a message!!!! it says OOoOoOoOoO!!!
Brian: Peter those are Cerios!!!!!

lmao i love that one or...


Stewi: i like you when........... the world is mine and you death is ner!!!!!! lmao that ones really funny or.........



Stewi: *+*pause*+* fictory is mine!!!!!!!!
Stewi: *+*pause*+* Dam dam dam!!!!!!


Stewi:cut my eggs
waiter:your eggs are sir.
Stewi: cut my milk!!
waiter: i can't cut milk sir........
Stewi: Frezze my milf then cut it you impissul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o love that one

-kagome 353 :giggle: :giggle:

stewie: *knocks over book case* pancakes.

and...stewie: click click pancakes!! click click pancakes!!


lmao i love thouse ones :cutelaugh:

Quagmire:Chores Darn it!(or something like that)
Brian:*backs up* The King of Siam?! Why why thats the lead!
Quagmire:Oh Shut up*walks off*
Brian:*Backs up again and looking at another guy*The King of Siam why, why thats the lead!

Louis: Stewie say hi to the new neighbors

Stewie: you will bow to me

Stewie on roof: Tommorows forecast a sprinkle of genious with a chance of doom

lmao


stewi: what the duce!!!!!!!

that one funny
:giggle:

louis:peter did you change stewi and fix the light bulb???????

steiw: look louis he did it again!!!!! ~the light bulb in in steiw's bum and the diper in on the lamp post....... Stewi: wait a sec.... *+* rub feet on ground ..... touches nose.... light bulb lights up... stewi: ha!!!!!!

i love that one :giggle: :giggle:

Lol Me TOO!

Brian*In Spanish*: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...
Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak english
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy*In Spinish*: Que?

omg i love this one :

sign: PILOT WANTED

farmer: now get on outa hear! your da boy that but a seed im ma daughters belly!

boy: but pa!

farmer: if you wernt my brother i'd kill you...

brian: hello, i see your looking for a new pilot? my friend here's too young to put a seed in your daughters belly and im of a different speices.

farmer: *smiles* your hired!

*takes of in plane, get stuck between two cows* *wings come off*

stewie: (some smart ass remark i cant remember lol)

when i saw that i couldent stop laughing!!!!!! thats hilarious!!!! :cutelaugh: :hilarious: :supbear:


and this one:

brian: *in spanish* stop the truck!!

stewie: so why did we stop?

brian: my mother lives in austin.

stewie: witch is 8 miles away?

brian: yes...

stewie: you know what this means...

lmao i love thoughs ones!!!! :cutelaugh: :hilarious: :supbear: hhahah

and another:

stewie(to lois): life, mother is like a box of chocloletes. your never know whats your going to get! but your life how ever, is like a box of ACTIVE GERNADES!!!

lois: oh you just want your toy back... *gives toy-thing*

stewie: yes....well....VICTORY IS MINE!!*runs away*

*pause* *explotion*

stewie: AUGH!!!!! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!!!

another:

stewie: *runs in room and yells at lois*

lois: stewie, hunny,why do you go play in the other room, mummys tired.

stewe: why dont you BURN IN HELL!!!

lois: well, young man, no desert for you!

lmao i have more hehehe...but im gunna end it at these...lol

LOL I LOVE THOSE ONES TOO :hilarious: !

Peter(surronded by co-worker guys): Okay, Okay........*serious* Why...Do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them!
Everyone: *bursts out laughing*

Woman Worker: Hey, Are you guys telling jokes? I love jokes.
Peter: Okay, then you'll love this one...Okay. *serious* Why do woman have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them! *cracks up*
Woman: *open mouth*
Peter: So you've got something to look at while you talk to them...*laughs*
Woman: *open mouth*
Peter: So you've got something to look at while you talk to them...*laughs*