So, this is a little short story that I thought up of while I was cleaning the house last week. It's probably gonna be two or three chapters long, but I hope you like it. It's a bit confusing at first, but if I'm any good at writing, things should be explained throughout the story.




"Amacus, what the hell are you doing?" inquired Komora hotly, her red hair cascading down wildly as she fought her temper. "I'm going out," answered Amacus, picking an apple from the bowl and inspecting it for any bruises. Bright red fox ears, slightly tipped with a tuft of black, swiveled around anxiously, and his bushy red tail swished from side to side, awaiting his friend's scolding.

"Amacus, you can't steal forever! You're gonna get caught! And what's worse is, you're Gifted with the Fox Spirit!" said Komora, lifting his tail. "It's not like I'm gonna die," he said sarcastically, spinning the apple with his claws and skinning it. Seeing that he was distracted, she walked to the door stiffly, trying to block it. "Komora, relax. I've done things a lot more riskier than this," said Amacus, taking a bite of the apple and throwing the skin expertly out the window. Komora was in a rage, and she stamped her foot firmly on the ground and looked Amacus straight in the eye.

"You above all people know that the Gifted humans are feared and killed. And yet you still frolick around without a care in the world," she half shouted, annoyed that Amacus was currently rolling a ball of wax that he pulled out of his ears.

"You're gonna get killed! That damn Count's gonna have your head!" Amacus looked up with a cocked eyebrow. "Oh, you mean Count Lauradeer? Komora, that guy's so fat he can't even see two feet ahead of him," scoffed Amacus. Komora breathed through her nose forcefully, scrunching up her nose. Calming down slightly, she glared at him for a moment, then softened her gaze.

"Just...don't get killed, ok?" she whispered, pushing him out the door. "Don't worry, I won't," he said reassuringly, patting her soft hair. Komora backed away from him, turning her back. "I'm serious," she said, crossing her arms. A smile played upon his lips as he left, closing the door gently behind him. "Me too," he whispered. "Me too..."



Through the shadows that came with the fall of night, Amacus sprinted, disappearing here and there with small bursts of speed. "I won't let you down, Komora. I'll come back for sure," he thought, running through the barren streets of Lansen. He paused at a fairly large intersection in the road, looking left to right. Spotting a figure from the left, he took a detour and went to the right, jumping the rooftops.

After a few minutes, the fox-like human stopped, examining the door which led to what hee was looking for. "They say that the prize inside is too valuable to resist!" The words spoken by the Count ran through his mind. "It's a trap," he said to himself, smirking. "Time to see how good I really am!" With that, he carefully picked the door and walked through, never letting his guard down.

From the right, Amacus could hear a soft shuffling of feet. "Damn," he thought, and the lamps that rimmed the walls were lighted, revealing a circle of guards, all armed with weapons. "It's over now, Camasu!" cried Count Lauradeer, using the name that Amacus called himself as a thief. Guards fom all sides gathered, smiling darkly. "We've got you surrounded, so there's no way of escape!"

"You forget one thing, oh-Count-of-Crap, I'm a Gifted!" Amacus shouted, clearing every single guard as he jumped towards the wall, rebounding to get higher. "Get him!" shouted Count Lauradeer angily, and the men ran to follow the thief, bows ready. "FIRE!"

Thousands of arrows were shot at Amacus, and he swiftly moved between them, dodging the pattern. However, one stray arrow struck Amacus hard, piercing his shoulder. He staggered and fell to the floor, leaving a spot of blood on the wall. Slowly, he stood up, his golden eyes gleaming.

"Heh, looks like you win..." he said with a smile, holding his wound tightly. Count Lauradeer grinned greedily, rubbing his hands together. "Sieze the bastard!" The guards rushed in, ready to grab him.

"But I've got one more trick tucked in my sleeve," Amacus whispered. Fom his clothes, a smoke-like fog shot out, covering the entire room in gray. "Damn! Where'd he go!" "I can't see!" "I got him!" "It's me you've got, you dumbass!" shouted the Count. Amacus chuckled, making his exit into the streets.




Yeah, that's chapter one. I'm still not quite sure if I'm gonna have two or three in total. Oh well, tell me whatcha' think!

It's interesting and it does make sense. Update again when you can.

Kind of interesting. I'd like to read more. I think that you needed to re-read your last paragraph though.

Grammer= A+
Plot= B+
Spelling= A (Sav of thing)
Overall= A
Errors= 1

I think I see it, but right now I'm as blind as a bat. *yawn* Just woke up. :mint29:

I keep forgetting that you live on the other side of the US. I live in Miami..as you might already know, and it's 5:17 pm here. What time is it at your place?

It's not that! I really woke up at 2:00 PM our time. :mint29: I couldn't help but sleep late! BTW, it's a three hour time difference from the East Coast to the West Coast, so when it's 5:17 your time, it's 2:17 our time. Just subtract three hours.

I think I'm gonna do three chapters, but there is still the possibility of this chapter being the last.



Amacus ran through the streets, clutching his wound tightly as pain pierced his shoulder with every step he took. "I need to escape and transform," he thought, panicking as the fog of the night lifted up. "But I'm too far away from home." He reached the outskirts of town and stopped, panting heavily. Examining his injury, he found that the arrow was an inch away from coming out the other side. H gingerly touched it, then took a sharp intake of breath, letting it out in a long hiss of pain. "MaryAnn!" thought Amacus happily. "She can help." Walking now, Amacus headed North, away from the village. "If only I can remember..."

"Amacus, is that you?" asked a small, timid voice. "MaryAnn?" questioned Amacus, his ears trying to catch the inaudible voice. "It is you." An elderly lady appeared in front of him, wearing a brown shawl over her ragged clothes. "Are you hurt, Amacus?" asked MaryAnn, looking him over. Due to her old age, she was partially blind, and the dim morning didn't help.

"Only slightly," replied Amacus, smiling a little as he bore another wave of pain. "Come come, I can sense your discomfort," said MaryAnn, gently letting h hands drift over his muscular chest. "Really, it's-" MaryAnn shushed him, grabbing his hand. "Don't you even think about it, you rogue fox." Amacus smiled once more and followed, trying as hard as he could to stop wincing.


MaryAnn's house was small, consisting of only two rooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom. The roof needed another patching, even after Amacus had fixed it only days ago. Chickens littered the floor, clucking loudly as MaryAnn and Amacus made their way to the kitchen. A few cats sat on the windowsill, purring with content as they swished their tails, and Amacus could hear the barking of dogs as they caught his scent. "Don't mind them," said MaryAnn reasurringly, continuing to lead him inside. "When do I never..."

In the kitchen sat more cats, a few on the little well filled halfway with water and the rest sitting on the counter, basking in the sunlight that shone through the window with no glass. "Sit," commanded MaryAnn, pointing to a chair. He sat down, wary of his tail, as MaryAnn soaked a rag cloth in water. "MaryAnn, thank you for helping," said Amacus, closing his eyes with a sigh."

"You do more for me than I can ever repay you," she replied, looking at the arrow. "This arrow is in deep. What where you up to last night?" Amacus did not open his eyes as he responded. "The Count had said something about a prize too valuable to resist." MaryAnn grabbed the arrow, making Amacus twitch. Pulling gently, but firmly, she slowly drew it out, and Amacus couldn't help but tense up as the arrow head stuck to his flesh and muscle.

"You little fox, you," she scolded softly, finally pulling the arrow it and ending his great pain. "You know better than that." Amacus couldn't help but smirk. "I wanted to see how good I was," he commented. "Against all odds of succeeding. That's what I've always wanted, to test myself to my limit." MayAnn did not speak further as she removed the tunic from his wound.

"You idiot," she finally said, which shocked Amacus a little. "You're not invincible just because you're Gifted. Don't you ever listen to Komora?" Amacus frowned, remembering the promise he made to himself and her. MaryAnn continued to wash away the blood, dampening the cloth at certain times. "Now that it's all washed up, I'll get some herbs. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone," she said, dropping the cloth by the well. "Yes mom," said Amacus sarcastically, resting as much as hee could with the pain that ebbed away at him.

A few minutes later, the dogs began to bark again. Amacus looked to the door, expecting MaryAnn to be there. But, the wind was in his favor, dragging in the horrid stench of uniform as the door opened up to reveal guards, all armed and ready to kill Amacus for what he's done. "You're under arrest, you filthy thief!" shouted Count Lauradeer, smiling wickedly. Amacus, unable to do anything, was dragged away, closing his eyes in defeat as the guards tied him to a horse and had him dragged away in the dirt, something much worse than death...



Sorry if it's not too good. My GOD DAMN MOTHER F****** BROTHER IS BEING A BASTARD AND HE'S DEMANDING THE COMPUTER AT EXACTLY 8:30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT A GOD DAMN MINUTE MORE, AND NOT A GOD DAMN MINUTE LESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_< :hammer:


*huff huff huff* I think I'm ok...

Isn't anyone gonna reply? Oh well, I promised that at soon as I get better, I would update, so here's the last chapter.



Komora began to worry when Amacus did not return. Thousands of questions ran through her mind, each one concerning Amacus. "Did he escape?" " What if he's hurt?" "What if he's dead!?" Each question brought more worry as the dawn approached. As the sun rose over the Tokoyami Mountains, Komora stood up, unable to take it any longer. Briskly grabbing her thick black shawl, she draped it over her shoulders and slipped on her small sandals, slamming the door behind her as she left.

Once she reached the village, she noticed that thousands of people were heading towards the center of the town, eager to hear the latest news.

"Did you hear? They say they got Camasu last night!"

"I heard that the Count caught a fake!"

"That's probably true, he can't even see past his stomach he's so fat!"

Komora walked on, oblivious of their remarks. Finding the center stage, she quickly made her way to the front of the crowd. With her eyes darting from left to right, her gaze fell upon the one thing that tore her heart in two, renduring her speechless. For there on the stage, bleeding profusely, stood Amacus, his hands tied together with rope. His light black tunic was torn in numerous places, and his silky red hair was ruffled in a dirty way.

Komora could not register anything in her head and prayed to God that this was a dream, that she had not gotten any sleep last night. Blinking her eyes rapidly to try and wish away the image, she could not accept what lay before her, the undenying truth. But, as her wavering eyes looked upon Amacus, her heart stopped, at last understanding what was to come.

Behind Amacus stood a thin woman with slightly narrowed eyes and a crazed grin. This victim was tied from head to toe and recognized as Lulu, the crazy woman who had attempted to blow up the town with what she called a 'bomb' and destroy the area. But this didn't matter to Komora as the Count brought himself to the front of the stage, holding a scroll proudly within his pudgy hands.

"My good people!" he shouted, quieting the crowd. "Today we shall witness the death of two criminals who have outwardly mocked our system of government and stolen valuable items. These two vermin will be set as an example for all of those who follow in their footsteps!" The crowd erupted into a loud cheer, all save for Komora, her eyes brimmed with tears.

"You decide! Who shall be the first to go!"

"CAMASU! CAMASU! CAMASU!" they all shouted, raising their fists in rage. Amacus spotted Komora instantly, considering that she was the only one who did not shout. His small smile faded away as he saw her tear-streaked face, and could not bring himself to mutter a word as Count Lauradeer brought him foward roughly to the guillotine. As Count Lauradeer shoved the once proud thief, Komora regained her senses and shouted out, her tears flying in the air.

"AMACUS!!!!!!!"

The whole crowd was shocked to see a woman leap onto the stage and grab Amacus around the waist, burrying her head into his chest. She sobbed hard, unable to accept the punishment bestowed upon him. All of her emotions that she had welled up inside burst from Komora as she held him tightly, never wanting to let him go. Amacus lowered his head, red hair covering his eyes so full of sorrow. He brought his hands up to stroke her hair and rested his tired head on her own.

"You must be brave, my little vixen," he murmured quietly to her, closing his eyes as he fell into the gentle pleasure of her touch. "But I don't wanna be brave!" she half sobbed through his tunic shirt, holding him tighter. "I want you to live!"

"Shhhhh, don't cry," he said, moving his hands down to wrap them around her waist, giving reasurrance that he could not guarantee. "You'll see me again," he added, almost too cheerful. But Komora shook her head harshly in disagreement.

"You always say that! You always lie to me and tell me that you'll be ok, that you'll never leave my side!" Amacus could not look at her, ashamed. "Look at me, Amacus!" she said, lifting her face to meet his gaze. He complied, slowly moving his hands to cup her face.

"I am," he said with a small smile, watching the passion burn in her eyes. "And you know what I see?" Komora shook her head slowly, more tears falling from her beautiful crimson eyes.

"I see a lady too beautiful for words." He leaned a little closer to her face, placing his cheek on hers to nuzzle affectionally. "Too beautiful for this thief who has foolishly thrown away the one thing he has to love." He then kissed her lightly on the lips, sending chills up her spine as she enjoyed what little time they had left together.

Moments passed before he broke away, giving another smile. "Be happy, Komora. For me." The guards, getting sick of the love, gruffly grabbed Amacus and pulled him away from Komora's outstretched arms.

"You filthy thief!" shouted Count Lauradeer. "Prepare for your death! If it weren't for the king, I would've had you tortured!" he hissed. Motioning towards the guillotine, he shouted to the guards "Get on with it allready!" Komora fell to her knees and shut her eyes, not wanting to watch the horror that was soon to ensue. The blade was brought up ominously, and the Gifted Fox dropped his head down, having said what he needed to say.

"And now, join me!" shouted Lauradeer, not knowing the burning hatred that consumed Komora at an alarming rate. "And we will rid this town of scum together!" Lulu started ranting wildly, her voice cutting off the Count.

"You're all gonna die now!" she cried out sharply, her voicing cracking from dehydration. "Down to hell's where you'll be!" The blade dropped, slicing the thief's head with clean precision. Thousands of people broke into a loud wave of applause, unaware of the shaking of the earth until it grew rapidly, breaking the small, unstable huts.

Finally, it ruptured the earth's crust, sending pillars of boiling lava to rise high and rain down upon the screaming people who ran for cover. Komora rose slowly from her spot, her arms hanging limply by her side and her eyes glowing pure white with rage. Some people, noticing her posture, screamed in fear and started yelling to everyone, "SHE'S BEEN GIFTED!!!!!" Others put two and two together, yet could not believe their conclusion as they feared for their own pathetic lives. More pillars rose, letting out roars as they burned anything they touched.

Lulu was the only one who could say the impossible, and she faced the mass crowd full of chaos with her crazed grin.

"SHE'S BEEN GIFTED BY AN ELEMENTAL!!!!!" she cackled loudly, welcoming the burning sensation that bgan to etch away at her feet. Watching Komora walk into the flames, she spoke softly, "Burn me with your rage," as she lifted her hands, giving in to the rising flames. Komora continued to walk until she herself burned away, the rage enveloping her into an everlasting darkness. "We all deserve it..."




No one knows what happened to Lansen that day. Some say that the town had lived on a hot spot that had exploded without warning. Others say that a hidden volcanoe had erupted, setting the whole town into flames. And some even say that the Gods were angry with the town, for Count Lauradeer had forbidden any practice of religion.

However, a nearby village noted the flames with fearful interest, and could solemnly swear to you now that the flames had begun twisting and turning violently, forming a crying fox. With the large fire dwindling away, they turned their backs to Lansen, the flaming creature leaving not a single trace of life in its wake...

Oh fine I'll just lock this damn thing if no one's gonna say anything, good or bad.

Lena-chan says: I really did like it. I thought it was lovely. The hole fox thing was a little wierd. I think you could change it a bit, but I liked the whole thing on how the fire looked like a crying fox. I think it could help if it were longer. You could almost make it a movie. The whole Maryann name didn't match the others and Camasu was not so original considering his real name.

Soko's Checking junk thingy

Grammer= A
Plot= A
Spelling= B+
Overall= A
Errors=3 or 4 (not anything major)

GOOD JOB FROM BOTH OF US!!!! :pinkusagi17:

Thank you!! :mint40: This one is actually the non-edited one. I switched the names in the final one that I gave to our school magazine.


And ignore my spelling. My keyboard's jacked, so it messes up a lot of words.

Not bad. Pretty good.
Ends in a way that makes you wonder.

Posting on all of my topics:

I'm quitting the IJ forum permanently. (Korosu: It's about time. *grumbles*) <__< Happy to know that you're enjoying this...Anyway, the forum is too crowded for me, and it gives me a lot of trouble trying to catch up with so many things at once. I've been known to disappear for a period of time, so the less to catch up with, the better. Sorry peoplez! Maybe you'll find me on one of the other forums advertised on people's siggys. (Ginsei: One can never tell. ^^)

Ja ne!
~Maki Yoshimi