Hello to All:

It has come to my attention that some of my posts have bothered people here. Please tell me if my posts bother you, I won't be upset if you do.

I don't mind being confronted if I write something that makes anyone uncomfortable here. When I was still working as a nurse, I asked my co-workers to tell me if I came across as angry, hostile, etc. Because I have been told this by co-workers, and this occurred BEFORE my VNS was put in.

Anger has been a problem for me before my VNS was put in. My husband has said at times living with me is like living with a tornado. So, he says I'm always raising *ell about something. This has happened before my VNS was put in. I have heard that people with depression, have more anger as their depression lifts with the VNS. More wonderful news for me. <_<

I was angry before going on hormones for menopause, and was angry with my depression when it started. It has been helpful and at times a curse. I have used anger and turned into strength a lot of the times when things were rough. One of my doctors said I have an underlying current of irritability.

It's a wonder I have not gotten into legal trouble because of my anger. It is at times like trying to hold a team of wild horses together from running out of control. The reins are hurting my hands at times. I am tired of holding onto them. This is just how I feel. Every once in a while I let go, and blow. Like a volcano. Usually this happens at home, while I am alone. After that, I have a hold of the reins again.

Please understand though, this anger is not directed at anyone here. It is about other things frustrating me. It isn't about someone, or anyone here. This is also characteristic of bipolar disorder as well. And Borderline personality disorder. So, between those two things, and the VNS; my plate is full for anger.

I will try and not spill it out here onto anyone. I hope this makes anyone who I made uncomfortable feel better. But, please tell me, at times I can't see it, or that I'm doing it. But, I try and be aware of it more.

Sincerely,
Bonnie :)

You know, Bonnie, I know just how you feel. I am a lot like you. (ask my Mods ) Anger is such a hard emotion to get a grip on. Especially when our lives are out of control and $hit is flying at us in all directions. From my own personal experiance, our lives have been bobbarded with unbelievable situations for the past 6-7 years and it just doesn't let up.

It's not,"what IF something happens", it's HOW many things will happen at once!" in my life. I am always anticipating the next event and no matter how prepared, I'm always caught offguard. (like the auto accident, broken tooth,stolen car, D's diabeties problems...) I'd pretty much stay mad all the time if I didn't have a way to channel that anger.

I rub people the wrong way all the time, although I try not to offend the masses, I'm human. Also I TRY not to let it get to me but it does because I care.

When we vent, it's best to just make a note that we are venting so no one gets caught in the fall out. That's why I have the Vent Forum. Everyone there knows we are, angry, sad, frustrated, or generaly pissed off. It's a safe place.

If someone has an issue with another member, they would let staff know and we would deal with it as we see fit. This is a very delicate situation, because of the type of medium. Since there is no face-to-face contact, it can be very difficult to "read" a person. We send pm's with suggested corrections as we do not want to embarrass anyone and then just let it drop.

Asking for critisim in an open forum can be problematic. I understand why you want to do this and also your reasoning behind it. If anyone does respond, I do hope they will do so in a kind and caring manner.


BTW I like the purple font fort you, it just seems to be your color! ;)

Bonnie,
You are doing good trying to better yourself.

In your posts, try not to do your whole post in yellow or orange; it causes vision problems for some people. Real big font is not acceptable either. I like your purple. It could be your signature color!

Glad to have you back, I enjoy your posts, you are very caring! :bigarmhug:

venting = no problem
threatening = uncomfortable

huge yellow/orange font = stab me in the eyes


:Two Cents:

:ph43r:

Hi Bonnie,

We all have times when we need to vent, and that is why this forum is so special, that we can however we need to be careful where we let that frustration out. Birdbomb has already mentioned The Vent Forum which was specifically designed for this purpose. I also agree with the comments regarding refraining from yellow or red text due to the fact that it can be hard on people's eyes. Using a large font or all caps is also something that should be avoided. When a person uses all caps or a large font it is conceived as shouting and disrespectful.

I can hear your frustration in your posts a lot of the time and I can feel the anger coming through your written words. I only wish I could give you a hug and let you know that you are not alone. Since I can't be there to give you that hug or talk face to face with you, I thought I would let you in on a little trick I was taught on controlling my emotions:

When I am frustrated I write out my entry but I don't push the "Add Reply" until I have walked away and thought about something else for a while. For example: If I am dealing with something that is happening in my life, whether it be anger or whatever negativity, I will write my entry without clicking that little "Add Reply" button on the bottom... then I walk away and have a cup of coffee, done the dishes, taken a walk, taken a shower, whatever... then come back to read my entry. 9 times out of 10 I have either deleted my entry or reworded it because I could see how I was using this entry as a way to release my own frustration when in reality all I needed to do was take the time to let things pass. This allows me to respond with kindness and love. I use this both online and real life... you would be amazed how taking 5 to 10 minutes to remove yourself from the situation gives you a clearer head. Just ask my employees! :ROFLMAO: When I don't walk away I have been known to spout off in anger but if I allow time to pass, I am able to deal with any situation without raising my voice, being unkind or disrepectful or given them time to tell their entire story. This has served me well over the years and has allowed me to recognize that while everyone deserves an answer, it is not written in stone that I have to respond at this very minute! ;)

I want to affirm you for having the courage to put this post here as many would not admit that they may have stepped on toes or lashed out at others. Good on you for asking for input and I hope the responses given will be taken with the kindness they were intended.

On a side note: I agree with the others that purple does seem to be your color here. :coolthumb:

Have a great weekend and let this go, Bonnie. :bigarmhug:

:im_033: