Yes. I know what you're thinking. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MARX CAN'T BE POSTING IN THE ABSENSE SECTION AGAIN!? SAY IT AIN'T SO?!"

But sadly it is so. From Sunday to Sunday I'll be in Wildwood, New Jersey with my relatives. I've given control of Harm if he's needed to Lani and Kye, who should be back when I leave. And as usual, when I leave control of the world to Lani, the Queen-Goddess of Cram. But fear not! For we still have three days for you to tell me how much you'll miss me. B) :P

.....................................................................................................................
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...............................................................................................................^_^

What? I'm not saying nothing.
Cept for.....

"THE WORLD IS MINE!! THE WORLD IS MINE!!! OBEY MINIONS!!! FOR I AM THE QUEEN-GODDESS OF CRAM, WEILDER OF THE BLAH BLAH BLAH AND FULL TIME RULER OF THE .......WORLD!!!!!"

And i'm done!

*Sits and paints nails while Minions do work*
What? I'm capable of doing my nails better than a cloned mutant chimp, plus this makes sure all my (Yeah, MY) minons will help me rule all you feeble underlings.
*Recognising all who hold rank FYI ^_^ *

*Note.
You try to take over you shall be crushed by killer moths and eyebrow eating hedgehogs.
If my legions of dooom do not work i'll just have you shot.
Thank you for not setting off the tazers on your way out from your feeble attempts at God/dess hood. Fools.*

*sniffle* It's good to know the world will be in such capable hands. You see now don't you? You see why she'll be in charge. Ya can't go wrong ruling the world with and ego that big, and your own supply of mutants and minions. B) :D

Now with Marx away the Phoenix God shall lay waste to you pathetic rule!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Don't make me hurt you, Batboy. ^_^

The Phoenix God is beyond such things as pain!! (More or less...)

Physical pain maybe.....but what do you call it when you wake up married to someone named Stehpanie Brown who's wearing a makeshift Robin suit and calling you her "Boy Wonder.......I wish" ;)

**Evil Spoiler is engulf in fire of the Phoenix and burned to a cripsy critter**

Lani.... Now that was just low.... <_< EVIL!!!!

You have learned well. :lol:

Ok, you just killed Spoiler.....so what are you doing to do about your wife?
(Did i say she was Spoiler? No. She just has the same name. And is really really annoying.)

Learned well?!! What the hey?!? Who from??
I teach it!

**Evil 'wife' is engulf in fire of the Phoenix and burned to a cripsy critter**

I never married that woman! you forged my name on the marriage certificate!

Now you shall pay!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Hey, don't blame me, blame the Japanese Kareoke bar and all that Saké from the other night.
And in the words of...pretty much everyone who's seen an action film.
"Bring it!"

YOU ARE BOTH WRONG! FOR THE ALMIGHTY ADMIN SHALL RULE OVER ALL!

AnAND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME! NO GUY THAT ANNOYS ME THAT YOU CAN MARRY ME TO! NO ONE THAT I THINK IS COOL BUT WOULD DEFINITELY HATE BEING MARRIED TO--WAGH!

~Checks bed for either Impulse or Slobo.~ Whew.....Going on

NO FORM OF TORTURE YOU CAN EXPOSE ME TO AND BLAH BLAH BLAH . INSERT WITTY SARCASTIC OVER PONITIFICATION HERE!

Kye married Tim Drake/Robin 3.

<_< Um, you guys do realize that I'm not gone yet? I'm still technically ruler. B) Do I have to get my Micheal Jackson/Teletubby clones on you guys? And there's always a way to torture you, in the words of a Russian person "We have ways of making you talk." :ph43r:

What? WHAT?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DARN YOU KYE! DARN YOU!!!

Thats it. That is THE last time I trust you at a Kareoke Bar Lani! Next time I'M the designated driver(even though technically, I'm not old enough to drive. Techinically. And I tend to over look technecalities.) and NO ONE is getting married unless their sobber and their names aren't Tim Drake. :rolleyes: -_- :D

Um...Kye doesn't know about her new 'Mrs Drake' Status yet ^_^

*Steals Rachaels portfolio.*
*Holds up said portfolio, flicking through.*
"You drew another picture of Robin like THAT?!"
*Shudders and holds up huge blue flaming torch.*

I'll do it, oh, and I'm in the Admin group...which makes me.....

AN ALMIGHTY ADMIN AND THE QUEEN-GODDESS OF CRAM!!

Talk? Talk about WHAT?!? I didn't do anything! You can't prove it!!


And--~gasp~ NOOOOOOOOO! Meh, ah well. That was a decoy porfolio and a photocopied piece of Robin drawing anyway......~Presses button and portfolio blows up in Lanis hands.

And I'm the original CREATOR of the website. Beat THAT! I AM THE MIGHTY SITE CREATOR! BOW BEFORE ME!

Dudette, that was the other site. :lol:
Breathe, chill.

And I've still got this copy of your portfolio here, where did you put the exploading decoy one??
:mellow: The Lani clone!!

YOU EVIL.....!! Now that was just too far!
RULERS OF THE WORLD DON'T DO THINGS LIKE THAT!!

Yes, but it was originally my idea. And MY name( And Jakes) is written at the bottom of THIS site as well! Bwhahahaha...er~notices Lani clone in itty bitty pieces....~

Erm.....Whoops?
Yeah I uh, I think I'm just going to uh...~Runs away quickly from the scene of the crime~

~Runs back~ Gimmie that! ~takes portfolio back and runs like a bat out of hades~

One down, one to go.

*Be warned*

~pops up unexpectedly~ Wait!~Achem~ I'LL BE BACK!

*As the admins all battle over the rulership of the world, Jim slowly sneaks out of his hiding place in New Jersey, the Armpit of America (why anyone would want to vacation HERE, even in Wildwood, I'll never understand). Well, really it's two armpits- North Jersey is the armpit of NYC and South Jersey is the armpit of Philly. Still, I digress. Jim sneaks up to Lani. Well, hopefully it was Lani- he didn't want to get blown up with some clone.*

Psssst!! Lani!! I'll make a deal with you. If I use my awesome powers to help you crush your evil enemies and rule the world, will you let me rule Pennsylvania as one of your minions and subject Alan to endless hours of electroshock? I promise to be the most loyal minion ever...

***The Phoenix God turns Marx's teletubies/Micheal Jackson hyprids and turns them against Marx. I then use my unlimated galaxtic powers knocks Jim back into his padded cell where he gets more electroshock and turns a back to Lani***

Now that we have that minor annoyance out of the way... BWAHAHAHA! :lol: :lol:

Okay, first off: I never went to the bar with the saki remember? I was laying waste to the Evil Empire known as Disney that evening.

Second: Forging my signature on the wedding certificate. Brilliant. I shall allow you to live. Some one who can be that evil may be of use to the cause. Help me bring about the downfall of Marx and you can have anything you wish.

Money, vegas dancers, take your pick!

But I fear that we must bring Falcon into the inner circle as well, for as she stated, she is the original creator of the YJUTT and thus she has power over all of us.

Jim winced as he once again watched the poor duplicate Jim from Ten Minutes Ago get sent once again to the asylum. Poor guy.

Jim turned back to Lani, waiting still for her answer.

>>Knock of the 'duplicate' thing Jim. You use that for everything and that is such a horribly lame cop out excuse... LOL. :rolleyes: It like when people are kids and playing cops and robbers and one kid always says 'you missed me' to ever single thing. Do we need to increase the shocks?<<

((Well, Excuuuuuuuuuse me. :rolleyes: I'm not used to your style of RP/beating up on each other. Where I come from, we would have the politeness to put what we were attempting to do, and then have the intended target respond with what happened to him. Not this dragging people off to asylums without ever giving them a say in it. I'm still working on it. Besides, Lani used it, see? *points to the little bits of Lani clone lying around from Rachel's fake portfolio explosion* I'll work on doing better for next time, but the old Jim-From-Ten-Minutes-Ago ploy seems Ok to me every once in a while.

I have a few ideas now, though.

And at least I'm not claiming to have unbeatable cosmic powers, like SOME people. :P ))

Well, live and learn Jim. LOL.

You get dragged to the mental ward because the state signed the papers saying you needed the the electroshock and they bow down to my awsome power.

And sure, I'm an unstoppable comsic power forever locked in battle against the evil and equally powerful opponent known as Marx, Kind of Cram who tries to corrupt me everyday. (He has a dental Plan. CURSE HIM!)

The Jim from Ten-mintues thing... ya might as well say 'you missed me you missed me.' You could at least try to escape from prision. :rolleyes:

***The Phoenix God turns Marx's teletubies/Micheal Jackson hyprids and turns them against Marx.***

You see it don't you, your turned the teletubbies, then you turned them again! You just turned them on yourself! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! Just for trying to turn my forces against me. GET HIM! *duct tapes a huge blob of N5 Fruitcake to Alan's leg* The duct tape's because you called me the King of Cram, it's God of Cram, Gooooood of Cram, say it right or don't say it. B) And since the world will be mine when I come back there's no point in making alliances and deals now.

And as for going to NJ for vacation, my relatives go there every year. Actually this is probably going to be my last time going, mainly a reason to hang with the Outlaws...and that really is their last name. No joke lol.

For the record, I find "you missed me you missed me, nyah nyah nyah nyah" preferable to someone claiming unstoppable cosmic powers. Still, whatever floats your boat.

And maybe I'll try to escape next time. Or maybe I'll just turn the guard's brains to mush with my ever annoying Legion lectures. Or maybe I'll get them to turn on you by wearing an Alan mask and telling them you are an imposter.

But we won't know untill next time, since it's Jim from ten Minutes Ago who's in the asylum and I'm still here, talking to Lani. So :P , you missed me you missed me.

.....
You forgot to put the "nyah nyah nyah nyah" It's not a taunt without that. B)

And everyone knows that "nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah you can't catch me." is much better. :D

Curse your double logic MARX! (And my own writing skills... <_< )

**Phoenix God spends the next six crueling hours killing off Teleubies/MJ monsters and cloning new ones who work for me***

The horror.

And Marx, remember I'm you eternal opponent. Ya can't expect me to say your name right. What kind of Phoenix God for good would be I be if I always said your title correct? LOL.

**Walks over to really real Jim and throws him into the pit of Teletubie/MJ monsters. **

Thanks for the loan Marx.

And Jim, I've had the title of Phoenix God since I joined the site nearly a year ago. I earned it. So :P

And you can't impersonate me. I'm the only one who can create the phoenix god raptor (three times the size of the normal Phoenix Raptor LOL. And NO I'm not compensating... -_- )

The guards will know that your the fake.


But since you've already driven two doctors to suicide with your legion talk, well I suppose that's your best weapon, huh?

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Jim falls into the pit of Michael Jackson/Teletubbies thingies. All seems lost, and Jim consigns himself to a gruesome death when...*

What's this? Why aren't I dead?

MJ/Teletubby Monster #1- You aren't a young boy. We don't want anything to do with you.

Oh. Well, thank you very much then. Ummm... could I trouble you for a way out?

MJ/Teletubby Monster #2- Sure, right over there. *The creature points to a door marked "Emergency Exit, non-small boys only."*

Thank you again.

MJ/Teletubby Monster #3- Say, you wouldn't happen to know of any small boys we could get our hands on, would you?

Well... *Jim thinks back to something Alan said...*

Well, the Pheonix God/Pheonix God Raptor is only a year old, and "God" denotes a male, so...

MJ/Teletubby Monsters- A SMALL BOY!!! LET'S GET HIM!!

*As they go, Jim uses his awesome powers as the Time Trapper, who he is secretely (sort of), to cloak all the MJ/Teletubby Monsters in cloaks of time that are impenetrable to Alan/Pheonix God's Incredible Cosmic Powers. Jim watches with glee as Alan and his giant compensating raptor thing are molested by dozens of invulnerable MJ/Teletubby monsters.*

That ought to hold him for a while.

Pheonix God? God of Cram? Queen-Goddess of Cram? Allmighty Admin? ENOUGH!! Well, if you all claim crazy titles, so will I!! Forget this Time Trapper business- I'll keep the powers and the job, and the cool robe, but to compete in this high pressure world I need a better title.

I declare myself to be, now and forever,

Jim, the High Prince of Time, among possibly other titles to follow at a later date.

*would have died from suffocation laughing at that if I weren't immortal*

And I shall add that title into the title section lol.

*Jim bows to Marx*

You honor me beyond words, oh Great God of Cram. I recognize your rights as one of those to have dominion over the Earth. Come, join me in watching Alan being molested by your monster things.

*Turns back to watch.*

Ahh, it's the little joys in life. Popcorn?

**Phoenix God blasts away the Teletubies long enough enter the astral plan, where time has no meaning**

What do you think you are doing? I programed you never to harm me but to harm Jim.

T/MJ #1: Jim told us you were a young boy. And you know how we feel about them.

Well I'm afraid he's mistaken. The Phoenix entity has no sex. It's a being of pure energy.

And I'm the host body for the Phoenix Entity and I'm 21 years old.

You can't hurt me and you aren't supposed to hurt me. I programed you to obey only me. And to see Jim as a young boy and go after him.

T/MJ #2: Aw crap.... He's too old for us.

T/MJ #5: Jim made us do it. He lied to us!

**Phoenix raptor sends the T/MJ monster into Jim's mind using the astral plane where again time has no meaning, to forever haunt him with images of Micheal Jackson and Teletubie who think he's a young kid. Phoenix God steals Jim's popcorn and watches as he screams in agony and cries about scary white/female/baby things trying to eat his head**

And remember, Falcon is stronger than Marx, myself and everyone else. She's the great creator. If not for her, Marx wouldn't be here if she hadn't created the site.

Hey Hey Hey! Don't forget I had godlike power before I was even a god, before I was even a vampire. I am the well bred superior of all men/god/demon/fluffy white bunnies/midgets. So I would always be here, for as I've told you, that voice in your head that tells you to burn stuff. That's me. B)

And thanx for the bow Jim, see? I didn't even have to tell him. :D

But Falcon created the YJUTT and thus allowed you to have your god-status Marx. Same for me and everyone else.

And of course he bowed to you. He plans to betray you and steal your power. Trust no one Marx! No one! :unsure:

*Even as he screams in agony, Jim considers his options. He immediately discards the idea of summoning up Jim from Ten Minutes Ago... that poor man has suffered enough. Perhaps he can reason with the monsters. He addresses them in his mind.*

Why are you doing this?

Teletubby/MJ Monster #1- We must serve Alan!

Why?

Teletubby/MJ Monster #2- Because he created us!!

Why?

Teletubby/MJ Monster #3- To serve him and torture his enemies.

Do you like it?

Teletubby/MJ Monster #4- Well, sometimes it's fun...

Teletubby/MJ Monster #1- But generally it sucks. The pay is terrible... and he doesn't have a dental plan, like the God of Cram...

I can free you from him.

Teletubby/MJ Monster #5- Don't believe him!! He lied to us last time!! Remember what Alan said...

Teletubby/MJ Monster #2- Shut up, you. He looks like a trustworthy person...

Teletubby/MJ Monster #1- What would we have to do?

Leave my mind and return to the physical plane where time has meaning. I will use my Awesome Powers ™ as Time Trap.... er, High Prince of Time to make it as if he had never controlled you.

Teletubby/MJ Monster #3- Sounds like a good plan. We'll do it.

*All the Teletubby/MJ Monsters exit Jim's mind and reappear on the physical plane. Jim raises his hands, they are bathed in a rainbow light, and he reverses Time, making it as if they had never fallen under Alan's control. Then, just for good measure, he secretly uses his powers to anchor them to the space time continuum; should they ever again go to a place where time has no meaning, they would all turn to dust. Or maybe something else... Jim had never tried this on Teletubby/MJ Monsters before... but they would be harmless and inert untill brought back to the material plane in any case.*

Teletubby/MJ Monsters- WE'RE FREE!!

Yes, free!! Go, my friends, and take your revenge against he who has imprisoned you!!

Teletubby/MJ Monsters- DEATH TO ALAN!!

*The Teletubby/MJ Monsters all grab broken bottles and boards with nails in them and baseball bats and whatever else is handy and run at Alan, once again protected by Jim's impenetrable Cloaks of Time, and commence beating the living daylights out of him. Jim picks up his dropped popcorn and watches with more glee.*

Aha, and to think that I used to limit myself by just decoying with Jim From ten Minutes Ago. Alan must be pretty mad at whoever convinced me to start acting up to my true potential. Who was that again?

No, I'm proud Jim, because you finally stoped using cop-outs. You are actually using true evil and insanity.

***As the first bottle comes near Alan's head all the teletubies turn around and start beating Jim.***

T/MJ #1: The Fool! he actually believed us! Now Kill him!

T/MJ #2: Dude, that guy is so freakin' trusting. I could barely keep my face straight.

T/MJ #4: I know. Its because of his legion obsession. Thinks everyone is always trustworthy.

T/MJ #3: And we don't need a dental plan! We don't have teeth!

All lthe T/MJs continue to beat Jim, until he asks to be returned to his electro-shock chamber.

They surved me because I'm their creator and they trust me. You can't undo what I have created, Jim.

**Phoenix God enters Jim's mind and wipes his mind to keep him from remembering how to use his powers of Time and Space***

Why does everything turn into a battle between Jim and me? Its so repetative and pointless....

*As soon as Jim gets over his surprise at the trechery of the Teletubby/MJ Monsters, he waves a hand, banishing them the End of the Universe, where they are all destroyed utterly in the unstoppable entropic force that surrounds the home of the Prince of Time.*

It always comes down to you and me, Alan, because you know you have no hope of defeating me once and for all, and your continued failure haunts you. I haunt you, Alan. That, and the fact that we tend to be on at the same time and anxious to beat the crap out of each other around midnight or so.

So, you seek to prevent me from using my knowledge of Time and Space? You are a fool, Phoenix Lad!! I am not merely some time travelling amateur; I am the High Prince of Time Himself (notice the capital "Him"). The ability to control time and space isn't just a function of my mind like a skill of mere mortals- it is a part of the very fabric of my being, and can never be denied to me. Thanks for trying, though.

You see, Pheonix Lad, I am the Lord and Master of all Time, and my body and mind are saturated with the power of it. You fell into my trap when you invaded my mind- now, you are linked with me, and thus with time itself, eliminating your invulnerability to it. I CAN NOW USE MY POWERS ON YOU DIRECTLY, FOOL!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

*Before Alan can withdraw, Jim uses his Awesome Powers tm to anchor Alan irrevocably to the timestream, making him forever after a part of it and vulnerable to the powers of time control; should he ever attempt to use time powers himself, leave the timestream, go to a place where time has no meaning or remove the anchor, he will be turned into a powerless flaming bowl of banana pudding!! Once that is done, Jim lets the Pheonix God withdraw.*

So, learned your lesson yet? Well, how about this?

*Jim calls up a dozen T-Rexes from the Earth's distant past and compells them to view Alan as a tasty morsel. All of them lunge at the Pheonix God and start eating him.*

Take that, Pheonix Lad!! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!