Why are girls so weird?
Classic question, I know and I'm not naive enough to say that we're not weird too, but seriously:
My ex called about ten minutes ago.
I answer the phone, say hi, ask what's up. Normal questions, right? Nothing done wrong there.
She says "Hey" is silent.
I ask again what's up.
She says "We need to talk". I say ok. Good response? Probably not in my best intrest, but it should keep her happy, fair enough?
So she starts telling me how this friend of ours is upset 'cause I never talk to her online when she "knows I'm on". 1) I haven't been on hardly at all 2) When I am i talk to her.
So I say "Yeah, we've been through that before."
Silence.
I say "how are you". This should be a harmless question, right? I mean not only is it a normal thing to ask, but it's taking an interest, which after being called to be griped at by someone who knows almost nothing about the situation is really better than I could do.
She says "Not good". I say "Not good?" She repeats. I say "why not?" I see nothing wrong here either. It's a good question. She'd be mad if I just said ok and forgot about it, right?
So she snaps "Well when am I ever good lately?"
This is a good question. She's been moody for the last couple months. Confidentially this makes me even more glad that we broke up a while ago, I don't think I could stand her lately.
So I say "I dunno, what's wrong now?"
She says "I don't know, I'm just depressed."
I say "so get happy". Maye not the best response, but I'm a sarcastic person and... well, it's nicer than 'why should I care, get off the phone' isn't it?
She says "I can't!"
I say "Sure you can, you have to have some control over your feelings." I admit, this was probably not the best move.
She snaps "Well you just don't have any emotions at all lately!"
I say "Well, the fact that I don't cry over every little thing and not having emotions are a bit different."
She yells "YOU'RE SUCH A JERK! BYE!" and hangs up on me.
So I give her about 5 or 10 minutes to cool down.
I call back.
I'm answerred with "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in a crying voice.
Now here I am trying to patch things up even though I really haven't done anything so I say "nevermind. I just wondered why I was a jerk."
She says "You just have no feelings! you're a guy, you don't get it!"
So I say "Oh, so guys don't have emotions?"
She says "Well you can control them!"
Now I understand, obviously, about girls having the hormones and stuff stronger, but I also have been around them enough to know they don't have to act like this so much and... well, a period doesn't last two months, does it?
So I say "So can you."
She says (yells) "I don't want to talk to you!" And hangs up.

Answer me: Did I really do anything? And if she didn't wanna talk, why did she call me?

I'd help you out but...I'll be honest with you, you really don't want girl advice from me, and I heard that sigh of relief!

*On the floor laughing my ass off*

okok, but come on! It said for the guys so I HAD to look!!

"Guys are stupid. Throw rocks at them"

Marx... Sigh of relief? *tries to look innocent*

Lani.
1) I figured you would
3) That's extremely UNhelpfull. :P

What happened to 2? :P

*notices, innocent cough* Two? She's...um...On vacation. The number two. Really. Can't even get her to make 4 right now, just 3+1, etc.

*Stares at Jake for a moment, trying to suppress a pitying smile*

Bud, there are three things in life you can always count on.
1. Taxes
2. Death
3. Never understanding the female mind

But I gotta be honest, ya could have handled that with a tad more tact considering she had flat out told you she was depressed.

After having spending the last 11 years of my life being 'the good guy friend' to many a woman (for all 4 years of high school, I somehow became the therapist for 25% of the school's female population. Boy do I have some stories I could tell... :umm: That is what I get for being 'the nice guy.'), I can possibly give you a bit of advise.

When a woman is... er... out of sorts emotionally, nothing you can say is the right thing. Especially if you are/were close in a relationship (i.e. dating). The only men who can get away with saying anything to a girl during a point of emotional... instability without it getting thrown back into their face is the absolute BEST guy friend they have or that gay guy who always says stuff like 'ooo honey...'

NEVER EVER tell a girl what they should do emotionally when their emotions are already shot to hell. In other words the phrase 'get happy' was like handing her a gun and saying 'shoot my knee caps, I don't need them'.

when she initially called you, it probably wasn't so much that she wanted to have a conversation, so much as she just wanted someone to listen to her.

Now keep in mind, since I too carry the XY combo, these are only suggestion that I have learned over the years. I myself have no positive clue as to how the woman's mind works. But listening to girl's vent about their problems has given me a few pointers of what NOT to do.

Well, especially since I'm usually one of those "nice guys" too (hardly worth it 80% of the time, but anyway...), I guess I can kinda see what you're saying.
Especially the part about shooting out my own knee caps and, from what you've said and just the common sense and nice-guy-edness looking back on it, "get happy" was an extremely stupid thing to say. I think I must have said it 'cause I'm so worn down from hearing her complain so much, but there is no excuse when dealing with an emotionaly unstable female and I have the sometimes-misfortune of being one of her closest guy friends.
ANYWAY, all esle aside: Thanks for the advice. *kneels to the almighty Phoenix, then laughs at the part about "gay guys that say 'ooo baby'."*

~Dude, am called the God of all things sexy an what women want for a reason. Now, this may shock you, so all sit down an take deep breaths....Girls get pissed off an flip out on you over NOTHING!! There, a breck through I tell yuo. They will even admit this later on. When there angry, upset, stressed or just fed up, they will take it out on soemone for no real reason, it's just how they kinda cope. If a girl flips out, dont be on the defensive all like "What did I do?" just ask her what the problem is an be supportive even after they've ripped your lungs out.
But from what I read you did seem alittle cold. Heres a trick, when someone (mainly a girl) is upset or angry, an tells you about it, pretend, or just simply say, that it makes you unhappy too. Example;-
"My cat got ran over by the evil farmer who's new pie is called pussy gallore!"
"Aww, am so sorry to hear that, I loved that cat :( "

"My math teacher failed me today coz my breasts aren't big enough!"
"Aww, at least you have breast :'( "

"Aww, I missed my bus today."
"I knwo, I got sad when I didn't see you on the bus :( "

Etc etc. So dude, maybe you should have been all upset too along with your friend. But you knwo the most important thing guys?... oh wait, I've ran out of spa

* :'( Almost crying with laughter on the floor :'( *

Dude...That was so damn funny I have been laughing my arse off through the entire thing!

And you didn't do nout wrong; she's obviously just pissed at the whole world and would have twisted anything and everything you would have said. But I would like to clarify that this is not because she's a girl!

I had guys be all like that, go off on one and never exactly tell you why their pissed, you try to handle it in a calm rational way and get accused of being emotionless...

Lani will back me up on the number of times I've been completely tactless with people and told them to "Shut the f**k up and DEAL WITH IT!" And for some reason my parents keep saying that perhaps I shouldn't be considering clinical psychology as a career... :unsure:

*LMAO*
Nice, Chris. I dunno that it was GROUNDBREAKING, but... It was certainly true and useful advice... Not to mention hysterical.
Kye... Wow. That's actually GOOD advice... Coming from you... I take back all the not-so-nice things I've ever said about you! ...But don't hold me to that. jk

Anyway, I apologized to her for making her mad (not in those exact words, but I made sure the gist of it was "sorry you got pissed at me for doing virtually nothing") and she's happy...
People are strange.
And by people, I mean Marli.

Awwww, so you put yourself out to appear the one to blame to make her happy, there is a cuteness there but don't do it too often or she'll walk all over you!


And of course it's good advice Jakey!

I give up tryin' to understand 'em. One piece of advice, though, don't throw up on 'em, Jake. They don't like it. And they'd do anything to ruin ur good name after that, trust me!!

Grah.....Would have posted my two cents, but everyone else already posted such good advice....~sigh~...alll I have left is some goofy comments....~Smirks and laughs at guys 'theories' on girls~ BWHAHAHAHAHAH! YOU SHALL NEVER KNOW!!!!.....
....
....
That being one of the goofy comments.

~We shall never know Rach, because simply there is nothing to know. ;)

Or rather, we SHALL know, but once girls know that we know, they will change it so we won't know anymore... you know?

~An the things that they know, that you get to know, aren't the things that they know, but things they dont want you to know, you know but they know all about the things we want them to know. +_+

Well......ummmm i was apart of the whole conversation, so i really can't say anything. Its funny jake could have just said my name lol..............Girls just aren't understood. Most of the time i don't understand myself so i can't give out good advice, but i'm not like most girls so well what can i say but ummm yeah *awkward silence* One things for sure girls do mind manipulate so watch out.....