INSANITY INC. 3
WEE RETURN... AGAIN
By Jakazul, Copyright 2004, All Rights Reserved like anyone would steal this.

COLOR CHART:
MAIN CHARACTERS:
Marx
Matt
Lani
Chris
Jake
Fab
Poe

SUPPORTING CAST:
George (Gay guy 1)
Mike (Gay guy 2)
Mutant Chimps
RLTV
Police

---More to Come

Marx, dressed completely in black with spikes protruding from costume in WAY too many places, steps out from shadows just for effects, then walks casually to throne which is being carried by three mutated chimps.
The mutated chimps carry the throne laboriously the remaining two feet that Marx didn't feel like walking and set him down infront of computer screen. (Take note that throne weighs over 300 pounds due to the engraving of Marx' full title on the back.)

Marx: *picks up remote control and mumbles darkly* Dern skippies didn't put my control in my hand for me. Bobba them. Bobba them to Sri Lanka. *flips on huge computer monitor which serves double as a ridiculously large TV*]
News on RLTV (Ridiculously large Television with a worthless V thrown in for the acronym): And today in the news, wealthy millionare and man about town Mr. Chris McGirr has been caught streaking on yet another drunken rampage. Reports say...
Marx: Borring. *changes channel*
News Ch. 2 on RLTV: Once again in the Fab/Poe polls, senator Poe fights for liberal rights. Fab's response; "You're gay and I don't like you". This is a close race, with both candidates having interesting points, but Phoenix Party Elective and former YJ MOM (member of the month) Alan-Robin has something new and exci...
Marx: Borring. *changes channel*
Home and Hovels Television on RLTV: And now Ms. Lani DuBois will teach us her new method of using gold stars to decorate any crown! And that's a good thing!
Lani: *smashing through roof and rolling to land on floor beside throne* YOU SPONGEMONKEY!!!! *yelled at someone outside before leaping back through ceiling and into battle*
Marx: *stares at hole in ceiling then returns to TV* Borring. *Changes channel*
The Story Starters Channel on RLTV: ONCE! In a galaxy not so far away...
----Cut-Scene----




High above Marx' enormously gigantuan palace...

Lani: *decked out in enormous pink and bubbly mecha-suit and swinging half un-rolled duct tape in one hand; Turns to enemy* You are SO gonna pay for that!
Matt in the Matticus 4.0.5672&1/2 Battlesuit: *clutches huge stack of girly manga comics in one oversized hand* MY WALRUSSES OF DOOM, DEATH, DESTRUCTION AND MAYHEM ARE NO MATCH FOR THE MATCHLESS NO MATCHING OF YOUR TAPE!!!
Everything stops for a moment, crickets chirp, Matt and Lani stare at each other.
Lani: *stares, obviously* Say wha?
Matticus 4.Etc.: Don't act like you don't know! I know how hot I look in this suit, but you can't be so turned on that you can't even think straight, your brainwaves don't work that way!
Lani: YEAH!?! WELL I DON'T EVEN HAVE BRAINWAVES SO H... Hey, waitaseco...How'd you...?
Matticus 4.Etc.: HA! Stunned by my unbeatable witt.
Lani: Oh yeah? Well beat this! *slips Muse CD into CD player built into mainframe of suit for some action noise, then does kung-fu moves with tape like nunchucks*
Matticus 4.Etc.: There are sooo many ways I could beat that, bu... *cell phone rings* Wha... Oh, it's Donna, I should prob'ly take this.
Lani: *sweet and cudly crooning voice* Awww. It's Matty's little girrlfriend.
Matticus 4.Etc.: DON'T CALL ME MATTY! *Donna talks on other end* No, not you Do... No I was talking to... I'm in the middle of a life or death battle here CAN I NOT CALL YOU BACK?... Well I'm sorry if saving the universe is a little more important at the mome-... Saving, destroying, whatever... Summit like that... Can I not call you ba...
Lani: *really crappy karate yell and kick to the chest of the Matticus 4.0.5672&1/2* HA! There's a nice big chunk of Queen Goddess action for ya!
Matt in Matticus 4.0.5672&1/2 Mecha suit goes flying and craches into building.
Matticus 4.Etc.: See what you made me do? *to Lani* HEY NO FAIR!!!
Lani: *charges at Matt* All's fair in love and war!
Matticus 4.Etc.: See? Told you you love me!!!
Lani: Aww spongemonkies...
----Cut-Scene----




Back inside the gargantual dwelling place of the King of Cram, Lord of luck, Wielder of the Ultra-Craminator and much much more...

Marx: *trying to watch RLTV (Ridiculously large TV, plus worthless V, remembember? Sure ya do.) despite the noise from outside where Matticus 4.Etc. and Lani anre battling* Sassafrassindernogood... *mumbles in angst*
Sassafrassindernogood (the five katrillionth-and-first mutant chimp who just happened to get such an uncommon name... Oh and he can talk too): *enters room* You called Master?
Marx:*clicks button on remote and cameras focus on chimp so he doesn't have to turn. Chimp's face is magnified on RLTV* Well actually no... Weren't you on a mission?
Sassafrassindernogood: Yessir. I was in search of the cheese grater to make your special super-extra meaty pizza milord.
Marx: *in half mocking questioning-but-not-really and kind ominous voice... c'mon, you know the one...* And why aren't you doing this?
Sassafrassindernogood: I thought you had calle mi liege.
Marx: I didn't. Get back to work.
Sassafrassinogood: *starts to walk out of room* Yess your greatness.
Marx: Did I tell you you could leave yet!?!
Sassafrassinogood: Well...um...milord...that is...I thought...
Marx: That's right. I didn't. Infidel!!! Get me the royal phone, then find my grater and bring me slurpage. Quickly.
Nothing happens.
Marx: Go! Why aren't you going?
Sassafrassinogood: You didn't tell me to leace sir.
Marx: I implied it!
Sassafrassinogood: But...
Marx: Don't argue. Just go!
Sassafrassinogood: Yes my nighintopotence. *hurries out of room*
Marx:*Slaps forehead and grumbles* Dirty rotten sassafrassin...
Sassafrassinogood:*returns* Did you call mi wondership?
Marx: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Five minutes pass.
Sassafrassinogood: *returns to chamber* Sir...
Marx: Oh no... Not again... Didn't I tell you...
Sassafrassinogood:*holds out royal phone* Your phone sir.
Marx: No no. Put it IN my hand. *waits, then resumes speaking once order is completed* Very good, now dial the number. *again* Now... Go retrieve my slurpage!
Sassafrassinogood exits room and Marx waits for phone to be answered.
Jake(on other line right now...won't be the whole time...I mean you could pretend, but that won't make the carrots grow hair as they say): *answering cell phone* Hello, who's this?
Marx: Jake?
Jake: No, I'm Jake.
Marx: No, I was asking if it was you.
Jake: You're the one who dialed the number.
Marx: *ignoring the fact that he did not actually dial the number* I know, but it could still be wrong, or it could be someone else answering your phone.
Jake: Then why not ask "is Jake there" instead of answering me with another question?
Marx: *sigh and pause of silence*... This is Marx.
Jake: I know.
Marx: Well you asked earlier...
Jake: Well, it could have been someone else on your phone or a wrong number even. It's not like I don't have caller ID.
Marx: But I called your cell.
Jake: That doesn't mean I don't have caller ID.
Marx: You have caller ID?
Jake: No, but I have it on my home phone.
Marx: But this is your cell.
Jake: We established that.
Marx: Well how did you know it was me then?
Jake: Your name showed up when you called.
Marx: But you don't have caller ID on your cell.
Jake: Your name's in my adress book.
Pause.
Marx: So anyway, I was wondering... There's this huge battle going on above my house and...
Jake: Between Lani and Matt?
Marx: I dunno. Lani dropped in a fe minutes ago and yelled something.
Jake: Yeah! It's on national news.
Marx: *bored tone* Really?
Jake: Yeah, have you not seen it?
Marx: Nah, I was watching the Story Starters Channel...
Jake: And?
Marx: And... it stopped.
Jake: Stopped? It just...stopped? Channels don't stop.
Marx: Yeah...well... it stopped. Just changed to the Premis Channel or something.
Jake: Oh...
Marx: Yeah, so I stuck in my Scary Movie 3 DVD and I haven't really seen anything lately. Anyway, you think you can do something about it? You're second in command and that's right after Queen Goddess and I'm pretty sure she's helping make the noise, so I don't think she's gonna be much help...
Jake: *pulling on leather jacket* Yeah, I'll see what I can do.
Hang up.
----Cut-Scene----

Miles away in a small prison near Liverpool, sitting amongst the many gay, criminal, and criminaly gay occupants...
Chris: So... Have I mentioned that I'm straight?
Gay Occupant One (hereon reffered to as George): Only like three thousand times.
Gay Guy Two (Hereon reffered to as Mike): Yeah... It sounds kinda like you're in denial, man.*nod and comforting look*
George: I mean, seriously man, it's not like we're going to judge you.
Mike: Yeah, I mean we can't hold up score cards 'till you put out. Oooh. I'm nasty!*hand wave*
The two stereotypically gay cell-mates dissolve in giggles.
Chris: Um... I don't like where this is going... I'm wealthy in this story, I can pay you not to hurt me...
Mike: In this story? What?
Chris: Huh?
Silence.
George: So anyway, Chris-right? Why are you in here?
Chris: Streaking, public nudity, drunkeness, fish guzzling...
George: Wait... That's not even a real charge...
Chris: Well, I'm still a little bit drunk...
Mike: I have a cure for that. *waggles eyebrows*
Chris: Umm... No thanks...
Mike: What I really d...
Guard walks up followed by over-dressed Matrix wanna-bes, news casters and a man in a gray designer suit.
Officer: Mr. McGirr, there's a man here to see you.
Chris: *bolting up* Ok, who...
Poe: Mr. McGirr, I'm Senator Poe and I'm here to support you and our way of life, I'd just like to say that I've payed your bail and offer you a round of thanks for your protest. *offers hand to shake and makes sure he's at right angle for news casters*
Chris: *stares blankly*
Pause.
Poe: Right, you know. Running through the city supporting nudity and homosexuality...
Chris: *blank stare*
Poe: You were naked...
Chris: *face lights up* OH! Yeah... Waitaminute, I'm not...
Poe: Out of the cell yet? I'm sorry! *snaps fingers and guard opens cell door*
Chris: No! I'm not h...
Poe: Happy? Because people haven't seen your protest? Well don't you worry! These cameras are live news!
Chris: No! Not that, I'm just not a hom...
Poe: You're unable to repay me? Don't worry! It's in the name of liberal rights and my election. How about a peck on the cheek for the cameras?
Chris: NO! I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT HOMOSEXUAL! I LIKE GIRLS! I'M STRAIGHT! *looks at camera and smiles winningly* I'm hot and single. *returns to situation* I WON'T KISS YOU!
Doors at end of hall burst open and President Fab steps in with his own camera team, talking to the camera as he walks.
Fab: Hear that, my fellow Americans? Senator Poe attempts to force himself on a despicable -yet straight- convict inside the prison walls!
Poe: Oh dear...*slaps forehead*
Chris: Hey... I'm not despicable! I'm sexy. I'm THE Chris. I'm drunk!
Fab: *shaking Chris's hand* As am I, my fellow American and no one could say you were despicable aside from this dirty liberal.
Chris: But you just...
Fab: Nevermind me, let AMERICA mind me. *smile at camera* And then let this backstabbing tree-hugger Senator Poe mind me, since I'm about to kick his gay butt in the elections.
Poe: Mr. President *said loathsomely* I'm sorry, but I think you're missing the issues here...
Fab: Oh? Am I? I thought the issue here was that I'm beating your sorry ... *a newsman makes throat-slitting motion so Fab won't curse on live, international TV AGAIN* ...Buttocks... In the race!
Poe: Mr. President, might I remind you that I'm up by twenty percent of the votes?
Fab: And might I remind you that America doesn't care about the votes. America cares about results! *big smile at camera*
Chris slowly sneaks toward the back door as Poe stares, confused at Fab's last statement.
Poe: Mr. President, the results COME from the votes.
Fab: Or is that just what you and your "gay party" want us to believe?
Chris sneaks nearer to the door.
Poe: That's been the system for almot 300 years, Mr. President.
Fab: Are you trying to tell me how to run MY country?
Chris leaves.
Poe: Your country? This country belongs to the American citizens!
Fab: Oh yeah? Well...*looks confused*
Officer: Mr. President, Senator... Mr. McGirr has left.
----Cut-Scene----




Jake sits in his sleeker, less-gas-consuming Hummer. watching the TV built into the console. (What? He's one of the main characters and you think he's gonna have a car that doesn't save the environment and kick butt at the same time?)

News on HVTV(Hummer Television with two extra V's thrown in for no reason whatsoever): *displaying scenes from the prison and Fab and Poe's arguments* Good evening, morning, or afternoon. This is ace reporter FLASH ZZ...Er... ZZ Flash... *mumbles about teleprompter* bringing you the International News live from my grandparent's basement. Today we witnessed a startling surprise-debate between current president Fabiano Cruz and Senator Poe at a Liverpool Prison, after Poe released the sorta-kinda-famous wealthy playboy: Christopher McGirr. Durring this debate, Chris along with over 3000 gay convicts escaped the prison. Their whereabouts are currently unknown. Please be on the look out if you pass any of those bars. On the other side of the world, high above World Ruler, Marx's, present estate a battle of epic proportions rages on. Although causes for this battle are currently unknown...
Jake: *rolls eyes and turns off TV* Chris... Not again... Can't he stay out of trouble for even a FEW minutes? I guess now I'll have to rescue him too before I can help Marx out.
The really awesome Hummer spins around on the road and pulls over into the next lane on the deserted mountain road, then speeds in the other direction towards the airport.
Jake: I'll catch an shockingly conveniant flight to Liverpool and hopefully head Chris off before he gets too far... Then I've got some mechs to stop... That's gonna be easy. *sarcasm, duh*
Hummer arrives at airport and Jake slides out and starts to run towards terminal.
Jake's Mom in driver's seat (what? Important character or not, he's still too young to drive legally and tickets can be time consuming): Have fun, but hurry up! Be home in time for dinner!
Jake: *bites lip, rolls eyes and turns around slowly* I'll get something in Liverpool, don't worry. They've got this retaurant... Best chicken curry...
Jake's Mom: Do you have money?
Jake: *holds up wallet* Yah, I'm good. My cell too.
Jake's Mom: Be carefull!
Jake: Always am.
Jake's Mom: Remember who you are!
Jake: Mom! My flights about to leave, can I just go!?!
Jake's Mom: Alright... And Jake?
Jake: *turns back around glarring* WHAT?
Jake's Mom: KICK BUTT!
Jake: *gives thumbs up and runs towards terminal* I've gotta call somebody else to drive me next time.
----Cut-Scene----




Far away, still above Mark's abode...
Lani: DO NOT!!!!
Matticus 4.Etc.: Deny it all you want, we both know the truth!
Lani: What? That you're a sexist pig??? *SuperLaniGirl Bot punches Matticus in the side of the head*
Matticus 4.Etc.: No, EVERYBODY knows that!
Lani: *punches Matt in the Mech's face* Weren't you on the phone!?!
Matticus 4.Etc.: I was until you CHEATED and cut off my connection! My phone reception doesn't work durring earth-shattering punches.
Lani: HA! You deserved it! *knees the Matt-bot*
Matticus 4.Etc.: Oh, that's just cold! It's one thing to pulverize my head, but I'm actually gonna use that! *gestures towards area of last attack*
Lani: I'd stick out my tongue if you could see it through my roboty thingamabob!
Matticus 4.Etc.: To lick me better? Ew Lani! I only go out with girls!
Lani: *smashes Matticus's head between hands* I AM A GIRL!!! YOU BETTER NOT START HURTING MY FEELINGS!!!!
Matticus 4.Etc.: Oooh whatcha gonna do? Cry to your girlfriend?
SuperLaniGirl Bot runs away in mid air, then turnes and charges.
Matticus 4.Etc.: Maybe that was a little much... I'm sorry for calling you a-UH!
Lani: YOU BETTER BE SORRY! YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY! *impact*
The Matticus 4.Etc goes flying from impact and spins into distance, then flies back at SuperLaniGirl Bot.
----Cut-Scene----