Never tell Batman that:

In china Bats are considered symbols of happiness and longevity

Never tell the rest of the Legion that you found your flight ring in a cracker jack box.

"You’re monologueing again"

I knew a street walker who dressed just like that.

You act like this "crimefighting" bit's a big deal. Fame, chicks and awesome fighing skills and you think it's tough? Have you ever even been to highschool?

"I'm sorry, sir, but the space was clearly marked 'Emergency Vehicles Only.' Your Batmobile was towed to 'Crazy Harry's Impound Lot' on 5th and Gotham, at your expence."

Bad Pick up lines to Wonder Woman...

Nice lasso... I'd let you tie me up anytime.

(lol thats good stuff)

"Yes, justice league, i...uhm...accidentily....released...s-several...supervillains..."

"No, Batman... I am your father!!"

"QUICK ELASTIC MAN, HURRY IT'S AN EMERGENCY!!! Lend me a candom!!"

(Oh bad mental image.)

So Aquaman, is it true you swim in your own toliet?

~Not sure where to put this, but a little joke to proove something.
A nun is walkin down the street when she walks past a bar. A drunken man runs out an starts beatin the crap out of her, like totally. She starts cryin out in agony, "Oh Lord no, why me? WHY!" An the drunken man says as he stomps on her "A-HA! Take that Batman!"

~See? I wouldn't like to be Batman... or a nun...

I know this is more of a Family Guy quote bust still...

*Peter is in hell, as predicted by his father, and sees a group of men playing poker.*

"Adolf Hitler? Jospeh Stalin?" *Pauses when he sees Superman at the end of the table* "What are you doing here?"

"I killed a hooker. She made some crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet and I ripped her in half like a telephone book."

"See, I made up these cool business cards for you, with name and contact information. I allready gave them to all the reporters, and the police officers, in case they need to contact you. And local business leaders, of course, like Lex Luthor."

"Wait... Clark Kent was the secret identity?!?"

"Isn't that kind of a... gay name?"

~I was goin to stay soemthing about Superman, but ALAN already did that one :pissed: but heres what I would have said,
"So Superman, faster then a speeding bullet huh?.... That must be awkard."

So... Do they sell man clothes where you bought that costume?

Let's see... teen male sidekick, periodically replaced by a younger teen male sidekick, usually in short pants...

I'VE GOT IT!! Batman, you're secret identity is Michael Jackson!

Did I guess right?

Too batman:

You smell like cotten candy. *proceed to lick his costume* (it'll either freak him out or convince the jury to take the insanity plea)

Or he'll just hit you.

Or if he really is Michael Jackson....

I keep telling you, Micheal Jackson can't be Batman. Batman still has his original nose and chin.

Micheal Jackson is really...

SKELETOR FROM HE-MAN!!

Just look at THEM!

+_+ (Screams and cries like little girl) NOOO MOMMY make it go away :umm: make it go away!!!

~But seriously, thats just wrong.

Dear god robin is onto something. *runs into a closet and comes out wearing the batman costume Adam West used to wear* quickly old chum to the batcave! We'll stop this dastardly menace!

...

...

...

Okay... First don't call me 'chum'

Second, take off that costume, you don't know where its been. Literally. Do you have any idea some of the things Adam West DID in that thing? >Shivers<

Third if you want to be the first man to willingly touch Michael Jackson, go right on ahead...

...all good points. I was really planning more too...y'know...beat him with a pole...

Yeah, good luck with that. Guy might be a freak, but he can move rather quickly.

Yeah, and he does stuff while he moves too.
One second you're trying to impale him on a ten foot pole, the next you're in court pointing to spots on dolls and crying.

OK, this is all just wrong. I can't believe I started all this insanity with one unguarded Batman/Michael Jackson comment.

yup. its ALL your fault Jim. That's what happens when you make fun of Batman. It becomes disturbing and awkward for just about everyone.

Hey, remember that time Stormy blew up?

Which stormy? I know quite a few who have blown up. *Tries to look innocent*

The one with the long... ish.. short brown hair. So tall. Orange shirt.

Oh yeah... Did he blow up a number of times? Guy was like a cockroach.

Yeah. A bunch of times. I think he got his skin pulled off a few times too.

ow!, that must suck.

Only for him. As Aubrey says: Violence is only funny when it happens to someone who doesn't matter.

Yeah!

to the Flash....Did you get that name in Bed?

Hey...violence against people who dont matter is funny? Is that why i'm constantly getting hurt? Y'know...aside from the repeated...things...i've done...like when I kidnapped superman for three months and gave him continued exposure to kryptonite...and tried to enslave the elder gods...