15 things to do at Wal-Mart while your shopping partner is taking his/her sweet old time

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms &randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's rest room.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares . . and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while, and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"

15? Thats it..Ill post the other 45 for ya later..#1 is really fun, especially to old people..

The list'd be shorter if I said what NOT to so...which includes take your date there.

Aw...but that would be fun if you ran around doing some of the stuff on that list...especially the Mission Impossible one.

16. Steal stuff?

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart.





1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playingfield.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
*BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

LOL! As much as I love (or is that hate?) shopping in that store, I'm tempted to try some of the things mentioned here. Man, that was amusing...! :P

I'm preparing to do a few of these things to day :P

I did number 4 on Hatch's list before. The guys freaked out and ran into the back room.

*Snicker's* I'll have to do one of those sometime..By the way what is 'Code 3 for Housewares?'

Ive seen this list before, but I lost it... weee I finally have it again!!!!

Too bad we don't have Wal-Mart here. *ponders* Then there is K-Mart, and Target. Hehehe...

Heh too bad there's no wal mart near me...maybe walgreens would work...wtf is code 3?

It doesnt have to be code 3, it can be something like this:

*walk up to guy* "the bose wants you in the back, something about a code xyz probelm"

It's boss, so if you walk up to anyone at the wal-mart and say code RED! Then they'll go bonkers?

Can't breath suffocating from laughter holy crap im cring!

people make typos you know... they are all too common on forums... dont be a grammer/spelling nazi... and save a kitty, buy WoW *holds a knife to kitty's throaght (<~ yup... I spelled that wrong)*

*Falls over and begins to twitch violently with laughter*

Those are some good ones HaTcH. Gotta try the Code 3 thing... :lol:

Some of those are pretty good...Could be fun...I like the polka one...

*makes a dive for the kitty*
Nooo! The ASPCA's gonna be all over you now! :P

Rotfl! Me and my friend go to walmart all the time and embarass her older brother by running around the store. I'm going to have to show her this!

Want some REAL fun??? Walk into a Meijers. be casual and LOOK casual. Go to a department that has a phone where you can't be seen. Press the numbers [edit] after a second or two. That will put you on the intercom. Say in an urgent tone, but not TOO urgent, "[edit] to (Toys, Media, hardware, or whereever you cans ee, but won't bee blamed for the call) and say it 3 times. I work at a Miejers and that code means someone is hurt, badly and needs immediate medical attention. ALL managers and employees in the area must go to that deperatment to help.

If you want to see people run, REALLY fast and then get really pissed off and confused... Do that. No customer know the number to get on the com, nor the code for injured person, so they will take awhile trying to figure out where the injured person is. Do note, most camera things lack any camera, and we don't record any of the camra footage cept for those in the fishing isles and by the main entrance. Thats how it is for ALL Meijers.

Readys self for a 5 fingered discount at Meijers... :lol: :ph43r:

Um...making people think someone is badly injured when nothing is wrong = not funny.

I'll just edit that code out of there now...

No, it's dry humor. I could always say the code for fire.... Thats amusing. The ability to effect a large number of peoples day to day activities all by the control of a phone. What fun. The customers don't know what codes are what, but when managers run around with fire extinguishers or AEDs, it's anyones guess as to what those codes mean....

Now that you edited out the code whoever is around Meijers is gonna go there once a week trying out all the codes until they find the right one starting with 1. So week one they say "We've got a code 1 in toys" until they find out which ones are which. So you couldve made it worse. Like i just did giving people these ideas.

Wonderful idea Sephiroth! *runs to Meijers to try* *pauses* what is Meijers?

Its like Wal Mart, but farther up north.

um.... i did all 50 of those and the staff wanted me to come back.... i never did cause that was the last thing i expected.... for them to like it....

Look what the cat finally dragged back in...

You mean Department... (insert number) to the toys department.... There are no codes, just departments... It's to make it less suspicious of being an emergency. people might think department 10 for example, which is the one for you viewing people stealing and needing to call for assistance in aprehending the kid, sounds like an accual department in the store. Saying code 10 over the com might make some customers think fire, or some other stupid thing...

Thats ok, a guy cut his hand wide open the other day and I said Department 50 5 times and no one ran to help. I paged the store manager and the department 10 who should respond immediately... I had to take care of the poor old man. He gave me a twenty for helping him. I swere I tried to refuse to take it, but he insisted, and hey, turning down free money, when the giver WANTS you to have it is just stupid...

They must not listen to the comm very well...

...take a package of food, eat it up halfway, carefully put the package back together, and stick it back on the shelf...and see if anyone puts it in their cart...if not, switch it with a good package someone else has...

never tried it before..i made it up cause i was bored...

In society, there are many classes: the rich, the poor, the “I could buy that new grill, but I choose not to” group. Yet, setting aside their economic differences, they all gather together for the joys of a particular establishment. This particular establishment that will one day rule the cosmos with an iron fist, as it has already taken its claim on Earth.

Wal-Mart

[]

Ironically I just read the above in one of my friend's comedy fics, as soon as I noticed this topic as well...

Go to the customer service department desk and start complaining that they don't have any Zoids. Tell them that contrary to what Hasbro has told them, Zoids are still being mass produced and put on the market in the US, and that you see them all the time at every other retailer. To further bother them, say that you are a Hasbro Consumer Relations exec. (No, I haven't done it, and I won't).



About codes... the Wal-Mart nearest to me has their codes plainly displayed in the lawn and garden section, very close to the exit...

All my paintball gear is fine tuned and the other forums i go to were'nt active so i came here...i dont have a life.