| QUOTE (Steve @ Mar 10 2005, 03:11 PM) |
| Yeah. I'm not exactly sure where I'm supposed to put this thing, so into "General" it goes. Any mods who feel this topic belongs elsewhere cn move it. How to Write Your Very Own Godzilla Movie! Have you ever wanted to write a Godzilla movie of your very own? Well, you can now! Just fill in the blanks, and voila! You’ve got cinematic gold, ready for submission to Toho! Godzilla versus Pikachu! It’s a bright, cheerful, sunny day in the city of Tokyo. The birds are singing, the bees are buzzing, the traffic is jammed and the air is thick with pollution. Time now for the obligatory character introduction scene! First off, we have out hero, Ash Ketchum! Ash is a scientist, who specializes in the study of nuts. Next, we have Brock the obligatory love interest/fanservice leading lady! Brock is a guy, but who gives a damn? She’s HOT! Then, of course, there’s little Gary, who has shorts so small and tight it’s a wonder they don’t cut off his circulation! Buy who cares about the puny humans? Don’t bother trying to memorise their names, as they’re merely cardboard cut outs who are little more then an excuse to keep the movie from simply being guys in rubber suits waling on each other. There’s some interaction between our main characters. They jabber about Lucky Charms, and the audience is getting very, very bored. Depending on how “serious” this movie is trying to be, said jabber can last anywhere from 15 minutes to the first half hour of the movie. Finally, Godzilla rises out of the ocean! Here comes the obligatory “Godzilla vs. The Military” sequence. The army deploys LOLLERskaters, but these have no affect at all and are merely crushed under Godzilla’s feet. LMAOplanes arrive, but these are merely incinerated by Godzilla’s atomic breath. Godzilla smashes some buildings, and all looks terrible. Meanwhile, evil aliens called the Team Rocket, (who look exactly like human beings wearing shiny spandex) are plotting to conquer the earth! They plan to conquer the world by blasting off, which will most likely involve one or more giant monsters. Suddenly, a giant monster named Pikachu arrives! Pikachu looks like a Moo-Cow, and has the ability to sleep! OMG! He’s so terrifying! Pikachu immediately engages Godzilla in battle. Godzilla is defeated, and Pikachu leaves. The army attempts to defeat the horrible new monster and fails, but luckily, our heros have figured out the monsters weakness! He is vulnerable to Frosted Flakes, and they immediately set to work building a weapon called a commercial, which will exploit this weakness by forcing kids to watch it. The army faces off against Pikachu and prepares to deploy the Frosted Flakes. But, oh no! Something has gone horribly wrong! The army is powerless to defeat the monster! We’re all dooooooooomed! Suddenly, Godzilla arrives! He has regenerated from the horrible injuries Pikachu inflicted on him earlier, and is ready to kick some rubber ass! And he may or may noit have brought along Jesus to help him! A climactic battle ensues! Godzilla and his ally proceed to engage the enemy monster, but Godzilla’s ally is effortlessly pwned by the villain, (what a pussy!) and Godzilla is left having to save the day on his own. Godzilla and the other monster duke it out a bit; they repeatedly bonk into one another, wrestle about on the ground, trade shots with their energy beams, and eleminate vast swaths of metropolitan areas in the process. The villain has gained the upper hand, and Godzilla appears to be doomed! Suddenly, Godzilla turns the tide of the battle by flying a kite! This will likely look so cheesy and/or silly that it will cause the audience to break out into hysteric fits of laughter. Weakened by this, Godzilla picks up his foe and repeadedly bashes him against the ground. Godzilla finishes his opponent off by dropping WTF bombs. The bad monster either explodes, or runs away. The monster is defeated, and Tokyo lays in ruins. Godzilla unleashes a triumphant victory roar, and our heroes all look very relieved. Godzilla has saved the day once again, and returns to the sea from whence he came. The audience wonders if Godzilla is supposed to be a bad guy or a good guy, and leave the theatre with confused expressions. |