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Title: The Guys' Rules


JammerLea - March 19, 2005 09:14 PM (GMT)
I've seen this before, but just got it again in my e-mail and I thought I'd share. Mostly because not being your typical female, I can understand where some of this is coming from. XD

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The Guys' Rules


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"from the female point of view...

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Schatten - March 20, 2005 01:18 AM (GMT)
XD, God that's good. *makes a mental note to print it out* But yeah, sometimes things, are a little one-sided.

I'd really like to know where people find these things...XP

Atrophy Within - March 20, 2005 09:05 PM (GMT)
LOL>.. that was amusing... hehe.. Simply amusing...

zeroreborn - March 20, 2005 09:29 PM (GMT)
some of them were true....

Fg-Dark_Monk - March 20, 2005 09:34 PM (GMT)
It's like he knows me... Or himself... Yeah...

König Warrior - March 20, 2005 09:55 PM (GMT)
Some of them? They all seem true to me, except I probably wouldn't talk about sports.. but if I bring up warp theory.. you might want to leave.

HaTcH - March 20, 2005 10:21 PM (GMT)
wow... those are EXCELENT! LOL
my favs are:
Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
(if there are no commercials, shut up!)
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

zeroreborn - March 21, 2005 12:56 AM (GMT)
well most of em were true for me...

Capitila - March 21, 2005 05:35 AM (GMT)
lol, I liked the comment at the end about camping. XD
Seen it before, but it's still amusing to read.




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