Posting from my parents' computer. My internet is down. Nobody knows that's wrong with it.

...Yeah. In the four days or so since I've been deprived of AIM, Iand internet access, I've gotten my paws on a copy of the Ray Harryhausen classic, "One Million Years BC".

The story was kinda hard to follow... there's no dialogue, just some narration at the beginning and made-up caveman gibberish. From what I could make out, there's a guy named Tumac, who is booted out of his tribe because he got in a fight with some guy over some meat. He runs from an OMG SCARY GIANT IGUANA, and wanders around in the desert. He meets up with a tribe of beautiful blonde people, hooks up with a chick who reminds me of Ayla from "Clan of the Cave Bear" (physically. Thank gord she didn't display any Sue-ish traits), kills an out-of-scale Allosaurus, and becomes a hero. Then he gets in a fight with some other guy, and is booted out again, followed by Pseudo-Ayla. They run into a Triceratops, which fights a Ceratosaurus. Aaaand... ummm... other stuff happens. There's gorilla people... Pseudo Ayla gets into a catfight with some hawt brunette cavechick, then later on, is carried away by a pterosaur... she gets rescued, and then there's an earthquake and the brunette tribe and the blonde tribe combine... or something. I dunno.

There's only two reasons anybody watches this movie, and these are its key selling points: stop motion dinosaurs, and half naked supermodels bouncing around in fur bikinis. It's very much a man's movie. xp Ooga. Steve man. Steve approve very much. Steve like movie where he can get his Animals Fghting™ fix and fap to hawt Cavechicks simultaneously. XD

Sooooo... yeah. If you ever feel the need to watch a pair of celluloid dinosaurs maul eachother or watch a blonde and a brunette wail on eachother with a torch and an antler, by all means watch 1 Million Years BC. I give it 8 out of 10. DINOSAURS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER.