Disclaimer: This fanfic is not made to be extremely in depth in terms of character or anything. It'll go in depth when I... go in depth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1: Turnabout Luck

That… that bastard kid! I won’t let him get away with thiiiiiiiiss! GET BACK HERE!

AHHHHHH!!!

THUD

The sound of a person falling on the ground; the smell of blood… Murder.

A young man stood with a bat in his hands, with the sudden shock of what happened.

“…I shouldn’t have overreacted... I can’t be caught here… Let’s get to business.”

-----------------




Feez Hero sat in the lobby, waiting for his client to be brought there.

”So this is my first case, huh? But haha! I’ll win. After all, I AM A HERO.

The doors opened, and an Irishman stepped through the doors. Almost stereotypically, he was wearing green-like clothing. Hah. Oh, oh you Irishmen. With his long dirty-blonde bangs hanging over his left eye, he swaggered toward Feez, with a nervous look on his face.

-------------Court Record Updated: Profile-----------
Linoud Strife
Age: 19
Description: The Defendant, and my first client. Looks pretty uh, Irish. But I’m sure he’s innocent.
--------------------------


“Hey, are you my lawyer?”

Feez looked up, and smiled. “Yeah, you Linoud?” He nodded.

“Oh damn the Irish luck, meboy. Never works all the time.” Linoud brushed back his hair for the cool-guy effect. Too bad Feez didn’t care.

“So, you sure it wasn’t you?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Well you see, what happened was tha-“. The double doors banged open, and the bailiff came in.

“It’s time. I’ll lead the defendant in.” The bailiff marched in and dragged out Linoud, leaving Feez puzzled.

“I guess I’ll figure the rest out in court. After all, I’ve already got an amazing backup plan. Let’s go!”

----Court Record: Current Evidence----
Attorney’s Badge
I’ve finally become a Defense attorney! Hah, a job for a TRUE HERO.

Autopsy Report
Name: Timmy Ripth
Cause of Death: Blunt Force to the Head. Death was Instantaneous.
Estimated Time of Death: 1:45 PM to 2:30 PM on April 22nd
-------------Court Record Updated: Profile-----
Timmy Ripth
Age: 13
Description: A 13 year old child. The victim of this case. Apparently, he won the lottery, and was murdered for the winning ticket.
--------------





Judge Rock sat upon his manly Judge-throne, and cleared his throat.

“Court is now in session.”

”The Defense is ready, your honor.” Feez stood at the ready, a bit nervous.

“The Prosecution is ready, your honor.” On the other side of the courtroom, stood Prosecutor Kimichi.

-----------Court Record Updated: Profile-----
Kimichi
Age: 23
Description: Some fag I’ve known since Childhood. Yeah, he uh, Became a prosecutor to be my “RIVAL.” What a joke.
------------------------


“Will the Prosecution please provide their opening statement?”

”Hello, Feez. Today I get to destroy you, in our first trials ever. I look forward to having you as my bitch after this.”

“Uh, the Prosecution will refrain from sexual desires in MY courtroom.” Rock shook his head, and banged his gavel. “Please call forth the first witness.”

Kimichi nodded. “Yes, your honor. The prosecution calls forth the witness to the crime! A… decisive witness.” Kimichi folded his arms and laughed. “This witness saw the moment that the victim, 13 year old Timmy Ripth, was murdered.

Feez cringed. This trial was already horrible. Gay. This sucks. If this guy’s testimony is the truth…

Rock called the bailiff. “Bailiff! Please show the witness to the stand.

The bailiff led a tall, skinny white man, bearing spectacles and a random assortment of necklaces, to the stand. He ran his hand through his short raven-black hair, looking a bit nervous.

“Please state your name and occupation for the court.”

“Laharl Johnson. I’m a cashier at Jewel.”

“I see, and you witnessed the exact moment of death?” Inquired the Judge.

“Y-yes, your honor.”

“Please testify to the court.”

-----Court Record Updated: Profile----

Laharl Johnson
Age: 21
Description: Some skinny looking faggot. He’s claimed to be decisive, but I wonder about that.
---------------------------------------------

Testimony: What I saw.

“It was April 22nd when I was driving home from work. I saw the Defendant and the Victim in the street. But the Defendant was holding a bat, and I saw the moment he swung the bat. He got the kid square in the stomach, and he fell to the ground, dead! Then I saw the defendant take a lottery ticket of some sort from his pocket and ran.”

Rock nodded his head, and looked at Feez. “Well then, Mr. Hero. It’s time for your Cross-Examination.”

Feez smiled. “Yes, your honor.” Thank god the contradiction is wayyyy too obvious.

(Author’s Note: Yes cross-examination doesn’t work like an actual court works in real life, but I do not give a shit. This is ACE ATTORNEY STYLE DAMMIT. Don’t you give me any lip wrryyyy.)




“It was April 22nd when I was driving home from work. I saw the Defendant and the Victim in the street-“

“Hold it!” Feez stopped him there. “Are you sure that it was the defendant that was there in the street with him?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Laharl swallowed; a classic sign of nervousness.

“Please continue,” Rock urged.

“But the Defendant was holding a bat, and I saw the moment he swung the bat. He got the kid square in the stomach-”

”OBJECTION!”

“Mr. Johnson, are you sure, that he was struck in the stomach?”

Laharl nodded. “I saw it clear as day.”

Feez grinned. “Oridley? I have the autopsy report here… It states: ‘Blunt Force to the Head.’ Now, how is it possible that you saw the bat strike the child in the stomach!?”

”OBJECTION!”

Kimichi looked annoyed. “It’s obvious! The defendant struck him twice! Once in the head, and once in the stomach!”

”OBJECTION!”

Feez pounded the table, vehemently. “No! You’re wrong! The autopsy report also says that ‘Death was instantaneous!’ It had to have been impossible to have seen him strike the victim in the stomach after death!”

Laharl bit his finger, sweating nervously, as the audience started talking.

Rock banged his gavel, restoring order. “Now, before we continue, I’ve had something nagging in the back of my head for a while.

Kimichi answered. “Y-Yes Your honor?”

“What’s this lottery ticket? Isn’t the victim far too young?”

“Ah, it wasn’t a lottery ticket for money, your honor. It was a lottery ticket for a toy prize of sorts.”

”Ah, I see. Where is the ticket in question?”

“It… hasn’t been found. We assume that the defendant, who is obviously the killer, has hidden it somewhere. But during questioning he has refused to say anything of the sort, on where it is.”

Feez could barely hide his excitement. I was right! Now, if he’ll just get here on time… The case is mine. Oh, I’m so good.

Rock nodded. “I agree.”

Feez blinked. “Wait, agree on what?”

Rock nodded. “I agree.”

Feez sighed. “Anyway, let’s continue. Witness, please testify about what happened after the murder.”

“…Very well.”

Testimony: From murder to call

“After the deed was done, I ran out of the car to help the child. Upon seeing me, the defendant ran away from me, dropping the bat in question. I… I saw that the child was dead. I called the police right after. I remember the time I called. I called at 3:15 PM.”

Kimichi grinned. “I think with this, we can close the case. It was clearly the Defendant!”


”OBJECTION!”
“I still have to do my cross examination. This faggot, er, I mean, witness, is hiding something. And as a HERO, I will get to the bottom of this.”

“Well, don’t bother asking about the time he called. It was confirmed that the witness called at 3:15!”

“Very well, Mr. Hero, please cross examine the witness.”



“After the deed was done, I ran out of the car to help the child. Upon seeing me, the defendant ran away from me, dropping the bat in question-”

HOLD IT!

“Out of curiosity, why hasn’t the prosecution presented the murder weapon?”

“Ah… You’ve fallen for my trap! Your Honor, here is the murder weapon.” Kimichi brought out a metal bat, with some blood on the tip. “Feez, you may be disheartened. But, the defendant’s fingerprints were found… on the handle of the bat!”

Upon hearing the news, the crowd burst into an uproar until Judge Rock restored order. “The court accepts this into evidence!”

-----Court Record Updated: Evidence----
Metal Bat
Description: The Murder weapon. Bears the defendant’s prints.
-------------

Feez looked tense. That bastard Irish BASTARD. Wrrryyywryyywrywrywrywrywrywryyyyyyy. I WILL END HIM. “A-anyway, your honor, may we continue with the cross-examination?”

“Yes, please do..”

~~~

“I… I saw that the child was dead. I called the police right after. I remember the time I called. I called at 3:15 PM.”

”OBJECTION!”

“Mr. Retard, I mean, Mr. Johnson?”

“…Yes?”

“Can you repeat what you just said, you called at… 3:15?”

“Yes, what’s the problem you bastard? Can’t take how MANLY I am?”

Feez slammed the table. “You see, in this world there are two types of people… there are those who are truly manly, and those who are not. I am one of those manly men, you are not.”

“W-what!?” He looked SHOCKED, taken aback.

”OBJECTION!” Kimichi’s voice was starting to screech.

“Do you have a problem with the time or not!?”

”SHUT UP BITCH YOU’RE NOT MANLY EITHER.”

The Judge banged his gavel. “Feez, please tell the court where you are going with this.”

“Very well. The autopsy report states that the estimated time of death was between… 1:45 PM to 2:30 PM. The victim was dead for at least 45 minutes before you called! You are clearly lying to the court, and you are doing a horrible job at that.” Feez pounded the table again. “Explain yourself! You should practically be worshipping me for not going all out on you!”

”OBJECTION!”

“The defense is badgering the witness!”

”OBJECTION!”

“The witness is lying, and I’d like to know why! The Court demands an explanation!”

Laharl Johnson began sweating buckets, and suddenly fainted. The Court was led into a 15 minute recess…



Feez sat down on the bench, and took a deep breath. “Linoud.”

His client, jerked nervously. “Yes?”

“Care to explain why your fingerprints are on the murder weapon?”

Linoud sighed. “Sorry, I meant to tell you before but we ran out of time. I was walking down the street, and… I saw the kid on the ground. I ran over to see if he was ok, but he was already dead. Then I… saw the bat. I picked it up without thinking; I was pretty dazed. Then that guy drove over and saw me, that’s why I got scared and I ran. I… I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, you didn’t do it. And because of that I’ll definitely get you acquitted of all charges.” Just then, a voice came out of nowhere.

“Hello, Feez.”

Feez and Linoud looked up to see a man in a hoodie, looking pretty tired.

“Phantom! You’re late.” Feez grinned and slapped his back.

“I got what you asked for, and I got it analyzed for fingerprints… You’ll need it.” Steven Phantom, held up something in an evidence bag. It was the missing lottery ticket! “It has the victim’s fingerprints… and our own beloved Laharl Johnson.”

“…Hah, looks like we’ve won. Thanks a bunch, man.”

Linoud looked beside himself with joy. “So, we’ll win? Thank you, so much.” Linoud sat down, and put his face into his hands, sighing in relief.

“Don’t worry, The PhantomHero team doesn’t fail.” Both of them stood side by side, and pointed their fingers toward the sky. “Our DRILLS will PIERCE the SKY, and the TRUTH.”

If not for the fact that it was pretty cheesy, they’ve always wanted to do that. And so, recess was over, and court resumed.



“Is the witness ready to speak?”

Kimichi wiped his forehead. “Yes, your honor. The witness has a… condition, you might say. He loses consciousness when he undergoes stress. He’s fine, and he is ready to testify.”

Rock nodded. “I agree. Please show him to the stand, once again.”

Laharl was shown to the witness stand. Feez spoke first.

“Mr. Johnson, are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m fine, sorry. What do you need me to testify about?” Laharl was looking to the side, still very pale.

“You’ve had a lot of contradictions in your testimony. Can you give us a testimony about why you are innocent, and why the defendant is not?”

Laharl blinked. “Are you accusing me for this crime?”

Feez nodded. “Unless you can prove me wrong, then yes, I am accusing you, Laharl Johnson, for the murder of Timmy Ripth!”

Rock nodded. “Well then, please testify on your proof of innocence. The court asks this of you.”

Laharl glared at Kimichi, for not preventing this from happening, and scowled. “Fine.”

Testimony: Proof of Innocence

“That brat’s fingerprints were all over the murder weapon. Plus, the ticket the child had was gone missing; I have nothing to do with the crime at all.”

Rock blinked. “Oh? That was short. That seems like the logical conclusion. If this is true… then you are clearly innocent of the crime. Mr. Hero?”

“Yes, your honor?”

“As you are now accusing this man of the crime, you must present solid evidence to prove your case.”

“Yes, your honor.” Feez could barely resist a cocky grin, along with Phantom who was standing beside him on the Defense’s Bench.



“That brat’s fingerprints were all over the murder weapon. Plus, the ticket the child had was gone missing; I have nothing to do with the crime at all.”

”OBJECTION!”

Feez slammed the table again.

“W-would you stop doing that? It’s scaring me!” Laharl jumped.

“Laharl Johnson, you are connected to the crime!”

“What? You don’t have any proof!”

Feez held up the ticket. “Actually, I do. This ticket is the ticket from the day of the crime!”

Laharl looked beside himself. “That’s impossible! It was under my bed stuffed away in my- AHHH!” He covered his mouth.

The entire courtroom was shocked into silence. The witness had just admitted to having the ticket. Feez continued, after a meaningful silence. “This was analyzed for fingerprints today! The report says that the fingerprints belong to the victim, Timmy Ripth… and YOU, LAHARL!” Feez pointed his finger in an epic pose of the universe.

”OBJECTION!”

“I object! This doesn’t prove anything!

”OBJECTION!”

“Kimichi! It’s obvious that he was the murderer! Just too many points don’t add up!”

Rock banged the gavel. “Feez, please explain to the court what you think happened!

He folded his arms, and grinned. “I’d be happy to!”

On April 22nd, Timmy won the winning ticket for a rare toy. For some reason, his killer coveted the toy; for what reason? That is unknown. I assume that the killer chased him down, wanting the ticket. However, the boy wouldn’t give it up. That was when the killer got angry! He picked up a bat from… somewhere, and killed him. The deed now done, he took the ticket and wiped his prints off the bat. He had to wait somewhere a distance away, in his car for someone to come along and pick up the bat. I assume that he had binoculars of some sort. Once he saw my client pick the bat up, he drove over, and scared him off. Then he called the police; with that, his plan was complete. Clever, but obvious. After all, it wasn’t the truth.

The entire court listened in shock, while Phantom clapped silently.

Laharl dug his face into his hands, which rested upon the witness stand. Then… “NOOOOFIODFHOSFHOSDF ADSIFHAFHIH THISCANTBEIMAMAGODDDD A DEMONGODTHISISIMPOSSIBLEHOWHOWHOWHOWALL IWANTEDWAS THAT STUPIDTOY TO COMPLETEMY COLLECTION I HAVENOLIVEPLEASEJUSTGIVEMETHISONEONEONECHANCEEEEEE!!!!!!” He pulled out his hair, and fainted upon the ground, leaving the court in silence, which soon grew to an outroar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Prosecutor? Where is the witness?”

“In… in the witness lobby, screaming his head off. I’ve processed the papers for his arrest.”

“Very well, the court is now ready to deliver its verdict.”



“Court is adjourned.”




Linoud whooped for joy. “Alright! Thanks man, I’m so happy I came accepted your help! Can I do anything to repay you?”

Feez and Steve laughed. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it. Enjoy your freedom.”

Linoud thanked them both again, and ran out the courthouse to go do Irish… whatever Irish people do.

Feez and Steve got into Steven’s car and began driving. “Our first case is a success! We should go celebrate with some karaoke tonight!” Feez leaned back in his chair.

“Yeah, we should.”

I never really explained. This guy, is my partner in law. Steven Phantom… We work a co-firm, where he is the detective and I’m the lawyer. The Hero and Phantom Office. Where our drills pierce the truth.

-----Court Record Updated: Profile----
Name: Steven Phantom
Age: 24
Description: My best friend, who helps run the office with me. We’re a great tream.
------------------

FEEZ HEROOOOO

GAR AND EPIC. Cross Examination FTW

Lol, if actual court systems worked like that, I'd become a lawyer and call everyone a bitch.

But still it is GAR.

Looking forward to reading more.

Best fic ever. B|

oh u

I think reading this gave me cancer, AWESOME cancer, but cancer nonetheless.

Dude PZ I'm still waiting for epic ch2. :( :(

Shit, I never updated what I had for chapter 2?

Sorry gaiz. It's been on FEFF for like a month now rofl

Chapter 2: Olympic Turnabout: Case Intro, Day 1



A slim figure walked rather calmly through an abandoned safe-room of sorts, with there only being a single safe at the very end.

“Huh, all the security systems were rather… easy to crack. Almost disappointing.” The female thief spoke to herself, as she kneeled down to check if the keypad to the safe was still functioning, and to her luck, it was.

“…A Mason 441 EX from KB Security? This thing costs a freaking fortune. I can only imagine that these items were valuable, but according to my sources… these items should have had a great use. Why, would you hide these magnificent items…? Misters Wright and Justice…?”

The thief let down her hair and began working on the safe, and finally deciphered the code. It was ten digit code.

4-5-3-5-7-8-5-7-7-6

The safe blinked to life, and opened creakily, and out came two objects. One green Magatama, and a Gold Bracelet. The thief smiled. “Mission Completed.” She gathered her things and left.



Tensions ran high, their passions clashed… With nothing but their backs to the rivers, betting all of their pride on the line.

“…Uno.” One man placed down a blue card. The other flinched. He began to sweat, feeling panicked.

(“What Card does he have…? What should be my next move…?”) He placed down a red card on top of it, with the same number.

“…Feez. In this world…”

“NO NO NO NO GODDAMITFUCKFRICK NOOOOOOO!”

“There are two types of people… There are those who are HEROES, and those who are the dregs of society, begging at the feet of these Heroes.”

Here, Feez gave a blood-curdling cry. “WRYYYYYYYY”

“Feez, unfortunately, you are the latter. Fortuantely, I am… the former. A TRUE HERO.”

Phantom raised the final card and slammed down the ultimate card of UNO. A WILD DRAW FOUR CARD. THE ULTIMATE VICTORY. THE ULTIMATE SHAME.

Phantom laughed. “Feez, I just pulled a Jihad on you.”

“WHAT!? OBJECTION! I’ll END you!”

Just at that moment, however, the door swung open to the storm… and there stood a figure. “…Still playing Uno?”

“Oh, heyyyy Pendant!” Phantom waved his hand, towards his friend. Pendant took off her coat and hat, letting her hair fall. She walked over, dropped her bag, and sat on the sofa next to Feez. She tugged his sleeve.

“Feed me.”

“Feed yourself dammit.” Feez replied gloomily, staring at the cards.

“Sigh, what’s your problem, Feez? Lose a game of Uno?”

”Dammit Pendant don’t rub it in.” Feez sighed, and got up. “I’ll… make you a sandwich.”

Pendant looked at Feez, rather depressed. “…Did you bet something on this game?”

”Loser buys Winner dinner for a month.” Feez sighed, while Pendant laughed.

“Pendant, you can have it. I can cook my own food. Think of it as a gift.”

Pendant blinked. “Ah, speaking of gifts… I have gifts for both of you.” She pulled out Phoenix Wright’s Magatama, and Apollo Justice’s Bracelet.

Feez came back with a cheese sandwich, and raised his eyebrows. “What the hell is that? Or those, at least?” He handed over the sandwich.

“Thanks.” Pendant took the sandwich, and took a bite. “These are tools that will help you investigate. You’ll… understand when you’re working in court, or investigating. This Magatama is for Phantom, and this Bracelet is for Feez.”

“Why not tell us what they are now?”

Pendant laid down on the couch. “I’m going to sleep.” Translation, ‘I’m too lazy.’ Phantom and Feez got up, and went to another room while holding their gifts.

“Wonder what the heck this is…” Feez put on the bracelet while looking at it funny.

“I’m sure they’ll be useful. Call it a hunch.” Phantom hung his magatama from a think thread and hung it from his neck, under his shirt. “Anyway, I’m hitting the sack. Later.” Phantom waved without waiting for a response, and head toward his room to sleep. Feez sighed, and retired as well.

-------------Court Record Updated: Profile-----------
Pendant
Age: 22
Description: An ex-con who now works with us. Everything she does is legal, though. I hope. Plus I suspect that she is a man, underneath…
--------------------------




*RIIING*


*RIIING*


*RIIING*

Feez lazily picked up his cell phone and answered. “H…Hello?”

“…I understand, this is a law office?”

Feez sat up. “Who is this?”

“I’m asking for a defense request. I’m… at the detention center. And don’t even think about refusing. Your partner has already been here, and has been investigating for a bit. He gave me your cell, and told me to say… ‘You lazy Kurdish-shit, I had to do all the paperwork for this. And don’t give me any lip; I know you’ll love the case… our client is an Olympic contestant. Free tickets to the Olympics anyone?’ Well, I hope that didn’t sound too awkward for me to say it, but please come down.” The man hung up, leaving Feez still absorbing everything.

“…The Olympics…? Well. I… do need another case. The rent’s coming up… Dammit Phantom, I’ll kill you for taking a case without my permission. Faggot.”

(Author’s note: From now on, I’ll be typing more Phoenix Wright style, so expect less descriptive writing, unless it’s something as epic as Godot throwing coffee at Phoenix. Also, Investigation will be cut between two short sections, switching off between Feez and Phantom. Also, I’ll be typing in the format of Ace Attorney, in terms of talking and stuff. Not script style, mind you.)



“So, my client will be here in moments… I’m nervous. I guess.”

Suddenly, on the other side of the table, a man appeared. He was young, rather attractive, was Asian and rather well-built. He also had a beard.

“Hey, sorry for calling you down here like that. Tell your partner thanks for taking my case early on, and sorry for somewhat forcing you on this.” The man grinned, and was flipping a coin repeatedly.

“It’s fine. But allow me to ask you some questions, so I can start working.”

”…of course.”

Topics
-What’s your name?
-What’s the Charge?


”What’s your name?”

“So, you haven’t told me your name yet.” Said Feez.

“Sorry. My name is Leon Petrosky. Oh, by the way…”

“Yes?”

”Your partner’s name; is it really Phantom?”

Feez laughed. “Haha, no. It’s just his codename. I’m not at liberty to disclose his real name, though.”

“I see…”

Topics
-What’s your name? Leon Petrosky
-What’s the Charge?

What’s the Charge?
“I haven’t heard anything about the case details. Mind filling me in?”

“Sure. I’ve been accused with the murder of Gage Nelson. He was an Olympic diver, and he drowned during his event or something. I don’t know the details, as the police who’ve been interrogating me assume that I know all the details… as they assume I’m the killer. It sucks really, there’s no TV here. I wanted to catch up on my soap opera.”

“Do they have a motive for you?”

“They do, but I think it’s retarded.”

Topics
-Leon Petrosky
-What’s the Charge?
-Motive

Leon Petrosky

“So, mind telling me more about yourself?”

“I’m not interested in guys.”

“…”

“Sorry, it was a joke. I’m an Olympic athlete, currently aiming for the gold, in swimming.”

“Ah, I see.”

“…”

“Anything else?”

”Nothing you need to know, relating to this case.”

”…Very well.”

Topics
-Leon Petrosky
-What’s the Charge?
-Motive?


Motive

“So, what’s the motive the prosecution has set for you?”

”Sabotage. They believe that I wanted to cheat in the Olympics to win the Gold Medal in the swimming competition. Gage and I, we’ve had a long standing rivalry against each other. So, they’re assuming that I wanted him out of the picture in order to finally get the Gold medal.”

”Does that mean you usually lost to him?”

”Yeah, but I never had a problem with it. A man gets what a man gets, you know what I’m saying?”

“So, could you fill me in how he died?”

“Sure.”

Topics
-Leon Petrosky
-What’s the Charge?
-Motive?
-How’d it happen?

How’d it happen?

“It was last night. Someone came into his room, and poisoned him. I think it was Potassium Chloride or something.”

“And how’d they indict you in here?”

”Sigh… Somehow, the bottle of poison was in my pocket. I’m not sure how it got there; the killer must have slipped it somehow.”

“Ah, that sucks.”

“Well, I guess I’ll start investigating. Can you give me a written statement, so I can access the crime scene?”

”Sure.”

----Court Record: Evidence Added ----
Written Request
Description: A written document from my client, requesting and confirming that I am his lawyer.
-----------------------------------------------

~~~~~~~~~~~

So this is just the intro, really. The next chapter(s) will be Feez’s and Phantom’s halves of Investigation Day 1.

So epic. Need more.

Need more.