One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed
in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do
anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

***********************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and
ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the
top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff
or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

***********************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the
other is a husband.

***********************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

************************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,
"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in
the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."

************************************************

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said,
"CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking
too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I
said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your
mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt
them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think
I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving"

**************************************************

I don't get that one. I get all the others, except that one...

If I'm right, the idea is that many Eastern European names stereotypically have many CZ's and other letters and formations seemingly bizarre to the average American/average English speaker. The eye sight test letters read out to be the letters - or to the guy, the name - Czwixnostacz. I'd be hard pressed to name even one person I know of with a last name that starts with "Cz".

Very, very good puff.

Funny.

Pretty funny.

False. The husband is always right. D:

Pretty funny.

Pretty funny.

Funny.

Overall: Pretty funny.

Actually most English people I know can pronouce most eastern european names with ease.

Yeah, I figured that out aftyer I posted it.

Are you saying I can't pronounce "Czech"? Because I can. And many other Eastern European names.

Slavic languages are easier to pronounce with english characters than alot of people think.

Says the guy who caves in to nearly every one of my demands... Girls always win. Guys just need to accept that role in life. :P

First one was the funniest, I found. The third one is sooooooo true.

I don't cave in to nearly every one of your demands. o_o. You never demand anything.

It's not that, it's just making fun of European names, that simple. <_< I would post my last name, but then if you searched it on google, you'd either get my dad (fire cheif), or my grandpa (doctor).

You're smart; how'd you know we were gonna stalk you? :S

*sigh*

this look familiar to anyone?

why bother having such a forum if we don't use it?

I don't use it cause I'm not used to it... And... *looks at member title* I live in RI. :P

Excuse.

No, no, I never meant that the Eastern European names were difficult to pronounce; most anyone can say "Czech". What I meant by what I said was that the letters and their arrangements are so uncommon in usual English. I checked my dictionary for cz's, and there were only two items: one for variations on Czar (czarina, etc) and one for Czech and its variations.

It's exactly as Kaden said, it's just making fun of the names – which also counts as the letter usage/arrangement.

... :mellow:

And that's why husbands kill their wives. D:

That was funny! I lol'd.

*gives Valter "ZOMG awsome cookie!"*

Thanks! ^^

that was really funny the last 1 was the funniest :P



:boom:

Just by a hair n00b... a hair from a necro.