Whoever thought of some of these has much, much too much time on their hands. :blink:


DEEP THOUGHTS

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.

It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible world we can't even see. I'm speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.

When I was in the 3rd grade, a bully in school started beating me up every day. At first I didn't say anything, but then I told dad. He got a real scared look on his face and asked if the bully had a big dad. I said I didn't know. But he still seemed scared. And just a few days later we moved to a new town. Dad told me that if anyone picked on me, not to fight back. Unless I knew the kid didn't have a dad or the dad was real small. Otherwise just curl up in a ball.

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget it, cause man, they're gone.

If you lived in the Dark Ages, and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, Can't you make it shoot any farther? No. I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? you can say, Sorry, got these sacks."

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, What was THAT?!

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.




Banned Childrens Books

Dad's New Wife Timothy

Pop! Goes The Hamster....And Other Great Microwave Games

How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School

Mommy Drinks Because You Cry

Some Kittens Can fly

The Tickling Babysitter

Babar Meets the Taxidermist

Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear

Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables

The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy

Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead

Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver

You Are Different and That's Bad

Getting More Chocolate on Your Face

Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer -- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!

All Dogs Go to Hell

The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking

Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?

Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

You Were an Accident

Strangers Have the Best Candy

The Little Sissy Who Snitched

I just near died lauging just then. >.<

That's the best one. Both me and Dad laughed for a while about that. ^_^

All right, I'm writing those books now.


Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear
Chapter 1: The Middle School Cousin

*goes into scholorly thesis mode*

:lol:!!!!

Oh, god. Those book ideas were great. XD

Holy shit. Puff I love you.

ROFL. That was the best. :XD

XDDD