Title: Chuck Norris
Kaden - September 13, 2006 01:24 AM (GMT)
(I'll post more if I remember them.)
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris invented all the colors of the spectrum, except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chruck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone, he kills all the birds with two stones... The stones in his pants.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Juan - September 13, 2006 01:26 AM (GMT)
I've read these before. They made laugh
SpiralStatic - September 13, 2006 01:28 AM (GMT)
The only funny one is the Tom Cruise on... and it's not funny cause of dumbass Norris. Bruce Lee beat his ass with a hand tied behind his back >>
Kaden - September 13, 2006 01:31 AM (GMT)
... True, but Chuck Norris jokes aren't as sad as Bruce Lee jokes. :(
I Have a Sandwich - September 13, 2006 01:32 AM (GMT)
When these first came out, they were funny as hell because no one knew who Chuck Norris was. Now everyone and their granny knows these. They stopped being funny.
Kaden - September 13, 2006 01:34 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (I Have A Dreamcast @ Sep 12 2006, 08:32 PM) |
| When these first came out, they were funny as hell because no one knew who Chuck Norris was. Now everyone and their granny knows these. They stopped being funny. |
... Everyone knows who Chuck Norris is...
I Have a Sandwich - September 13, 2006 02:08 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Illiterate @ Sep 12 2006, 08:34 PM) |
| QUOTE (I Have A Dreamcast @ Sep 12 2006, 08:32 PM) | | When these first came out, they were funny as hell because no one knew who Chuck Norris was. Now everyone and their granny knows these. They stopped being funny. |
... Everyone knows who Chuck Norris is...
|
Not before this. I knew maybe 1 in 10 who knew who he was before these came out.
Kipdog - September 13, 2006 02:29 AM (GMT)
Dude, I own Chuck Norris.
Ronian - September 13, 2006 02:46 AM (GMT)
Wait, so THAT was who I saw on sale on Ebay?
Kipdog - September 13, 2006 03:10 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Ronian @ Sep 12 2006, 09:46 PM) |
| Wait, so THAT was who I saw on sale on Ebay? |
Yes, but no one purchased me.
Juan - September 13, 2006 12:54 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Kipdog @ Sep 12 2006, 10:10 PM) |
| QUOTE (Ronian @ Sep 12 2006, 09:46 PM) | | Wait, so THAT was who I saw on sale on Ebay? |
Yes, but no one purchased me.
|
Kip was to expensive
Vicious - September 13, 2006 06:48 PM (GMT)
How much was kip going for?
I have a friend who is going to love those jokes. she is a little odd but I think that her parents still love her.
King Kong - September 13, 2006 07:42 PM (GMT)
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Kipdog - September 13, 2006 07:58 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (darklink @ Sep 13 2006, 01:48 PM) |
How much was kip going for?
I have a friend who is going to love those jokes. she is a little odd but I think that her parents still love her. |
5 dollars...
Hiei - September 13, 2006 08:24 PM (GMT)
so old and completely unfunny now. :(
And everyone SHOULD have known who he was before the jokes. o_o
Valter - September 13, 2006 09:44 PM (GMT)
Chuck Norris is a useless pop-culture icon who hasn't done anything productive except round-house kick people in the face.
Kaden - September 13, 2006 11:34 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Valter @ Sep 13 2006, 04:44 PM) |
| Chuck Norris is a useless pop-culture icon who hasn't done anything productive except round-house kick people in the face. |
He round-house kicked a wrestler in the stomach... lawl
I know they're old, but still... XD
King Kong - September 14, 2006 01:04 AM (GMT)
Chuck Norris built Rome in a half a day.
sara13987 - September 14, 2006 01:05 AM (GMT)
Guys... I know this is stupid, but I honestly had no clue that Chuck Norris existed until I saw the "Ultimate Showdown" cartoon. Then, I still had no clue who he was. -_-
King Kong - September 14, 2006 01:17 AM (GMT)
To quoth the Ben Stiller, "Fuckin Chuck Norris."
SpiralStatic - September 14, 2006 01:54 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (sara13987 @ Sep 13 2006, 09:05 PM) |
| Guys... I know this is stupid, but I honestly had no clue that Chuck Norris existed until I saw the "Ultimate Showdown" cartoon. Then, I still had no clue who he was. -_- |
Haha, love that cartoon. The song's great.
A random poll-answering guy - September 14, 2006 02:02 AM (GMT)
Chuck norris is so smily that Barney is afraid of him. OMFG.
I Have a Sandwich - September 14, 2006 02:03 AM (GMT)
Lemon Demon= awesome, but I have to say US is good but not one of their best.