Top 10 Odd
Medical Record Statements
(Supposedly found on patient's charts.)
10. "The skin was moist and dry."
9. "The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week."
8. "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."
7. "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead."
6. "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
5. "While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
4. "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce."
3. "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."
2. "She is numb from her toes down."
1. "The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately."
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Top 14 Rejected Titles
For the Movie "Twister"
14. "Schindler's Twist"
13. "Four Weddings & A Funnel"
12. "A Funnel Thing Happened on the Way to The Farm"
11. "Roofless in Seattle"
10. "Field of Debris"
9. "One House Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"
8. "The Splintered Bridges of Madison County"
7. "Lift and Separate"
6. "Boys on the Side -- Of My Barn"
5. "Dead Man Flying"
4. "Indiana Jones and the Trailer Park of Doom"
3. "Wizard of Oz II: The Search for Toto"
2. "Totally Gone With the Wind"
1. "The Weather Channel: The Movie"
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Top 17 Ways to
Freak-Out Your Roommate
17. Smoke ballpoint pens.
16. Smile -- All the time.
15. Always flush the toilet three times.
14. Listen to radio static.
13. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
12. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
11. Whenever you go to sleep, starts jumping on your bed . . . do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . . . use this method to fall asleep...every night for a month.
10. Ask your roommate if he/she has ever looked into the eye's of his/her victim.
9. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 seconds then hang up.
8. Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.
7. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
6. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
5. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door
4. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
3. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. With an air of disdain, announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
2. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the next day that that one died. Name another one after your roommate. The next day say that it died. Keep this up until they all die.
1. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
So I'm 13 - 2 right now. not a bad ratio... :blink:
Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
My cousin told me to do that once, my mom walked in when I was playing with them and he was watching TV, I tried my best to keep a straight face, but then he chuckled and I bursted out laughing, >_>
Not sure why I said that but I did, HAH >_>