Title: Where would we be without movies?
Puff - November 25, 2006 06:04 AM (GMT)
Top 24 Things
You Woudn't Know Without the Movies
24. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
23. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
22. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
21. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
20. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
19. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
18. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
17. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
16. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
15. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
13. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
10. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
9. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
8. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
7. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
4. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
3. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
2. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade -- at any time of the year.
Valter - November 25, 2006 02:01 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| 2. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. |
lol
sara13987 - November 26, 2006 11:41 PM (GMT)
Also, doesn't the hero always walk in on a cheating spouse at the worst possible moment? He never walks in when they're just talking; only the viewer sees that part.
I Have a Sandwich - November 27, 2006 12:07 AM (GMT)
We also learned that no matter how near to the center of an explosion are are, you can always survive by running for 5 seconds and jumping forward.
Blademastersupreme - November 27, 2006 12:30 AM (GMT)
That the black guy always dies right before the end.
Kaden - November 27, 2006 12:33 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (BadManStayaway @ Nov 26 2006, 07:30 PM) |
| That the black guy always dies right before the end. |
Or first... depends.
Puff - November 27, 2006 01:06 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Illiterate @ Nov 26 2006, 07:33 PM) |
| QUOTE (BadManStayaway @ Nov 26 2006, 07:30 PM) | | That the black guy always dies right before the end. |
Or first... depends.
|
Then the blonde.
>_>;; I'll remember not to be in a horror movie.
Kyrillos - November 27, 2006 02:01 AM (GMT)
Movies remind me of many a good comedian.
| QUOTE |
| God. Kids these days are so easy to kill. You can strangle them with a cordless phone |
25. You can kill anyone by strangling them with a cordless phone on Friday the 13th.
SpiralStatic - November 27, 2006 09:03 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Puff @ Nov 26 2006, 08:06 PM) |
| QUOTE (Illiterate @ Nov 26 2006, 07:33 PM) | | QUOTE (BadManStayaway @ Nov 26 2006, 07:30 PM) | | That the black guy always dies right before the end. |
Or first... depends.
|
Then the blonde.
>_>;; I'll remember not to be in a horror movie.
|
Oh, remind me too >_>
Phoenix - November 27, 2006 10:01 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Kyrillos @ Nov 26 2006, 09:01 PM) |
| 25. You can kill anyone by strangling them with a cordless phone on Friday the 13th. |
Hmm... That seems to be overruled by number 9.
dark menace - November 27, 2006 10:13 PM (GMT)
In a 12v1 shootout, all the bad guys get better weapons but have terrible aim
Kyrillos - November 28, 2006 12:43 AM (GMT)
Not really.
#9 tells us that miracles will befall humans, but if a evil monster touches it, they will be purged from the world.
SpiralStatic - November 28, 2006 12:49 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (dark menace @ Nov 27 2006, 05:13 PM) |
| In a 12v1 shootout, all the bad guys get better weapons but have terrible aim |
Ah, yes, the good old Storm Trooper effect. It's infallible.
Severian - November 28, 2006 11:51 PM (GMT)
Far as the dino thing, I always figured the idea that when that kiddy got shocked, the power was just "coming on" and so didn't get the full force.
No idea of electric fences just "come on" or not.
Taoma - November 29, 2006 02:07 AM (GMT)
Valter - December 1, 2006 12:55 AM (GMT)
26. The girl sometimes dies in the end.