Some things I've heard before from people...

From my friends dads inervention leader: "Can you get [insert name here] so I can speak to them about there addiction to alchohol... Oh wait lemme get my anti-depresants first."

From my dad: "Now Nate the easiest way to get rid of these flowers is to cut them. But don't cut them or your mom will kill you."

From my friend: "Stop saying things you could die for... DAM YOU ASIANS AND YOUR ADDICTIVE NOODLES!"

...Anyone see the irony in those...

If not... re-read them.

If so... Post your own!

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