Yeah... So, I really don't get on the computer that much anymore. Pretty much all I do anymore is go to the gym and play RE4. I've beat it twice as Leon and another time as Ada is the past four days alone. That's how bored I am.

Driving's overrated. Sure, it's great to not have to go "Mommy, can I get a ride to X's house!? Pwetty pwlese?", like some damn four year old, but the rules are so tedious. Speed limits? Psh, more like "speed....Not limits.". Yeah! I mean, I had to come up with my own rules just so I didn't go Dummy Plug and waste everyone.

1. Speed not limits. Drive as fast and as recklessly as you can. If someone gets hit, it's their fault for driving too slow.

2. Fuck bicyclists. According to the law, a bicycle isn't street ready. So get the hell outta the street. It's that simple. Bicycles were made for sidewalks, not streets. If they were the latter, they'd have head lights, turn signals, and oh, wait. That's a motorcycle, which is the manliest thing ever. Why don't you put your spandex away and grab some tight jeans and hop on a chopper? My friend says, "Well, in some places they don't have sidewalks". Too bad! They sure as hell do here, so get your tight asses on them!

3. You always have the right of way. Always. Even if you're 200+ feet away from the intersection, you still have the right of way. Why? Because everyone else is a pussy. That's why.

4. Green means go. Yellow means speed up so you can make this light. Red means speed up to about 100 mph, so the traffic cam can't get your license plate.

5. You're always the top dog. Always. Everyone else needs to get the shit outta the way, because you're the most important person on this planet.

6. Never check blind spots. They were intentionally engineered so drivers would have one less thing to worry about while driving.

7. Show 'em who's boss. Some asshole behind you tailgating with his brights on? Slam on your brakes and reminder that fucker just who you are; the alpha male (or beta male, if you're a chick). Guy infronta you going too slow? Put the pedal to the metal and shove the dick outta your way.

8. Police sirens actually mean they wanna race. Be a courtious citizen by whipping out your lead foot and showing them to a good time.

9. Your parking job is always perfect. Everyone else is a shithead at parking. Besides, you're the top dog; make them park around you.

10. If you ever see a blind, old,Chinese woman driving, pull over and wait for her to pass, them count to 1,000 before getting on the road again.

11. Help student drivers get a real experience by driving hyper-agressively. Sorry pal, but the road's a tough place.

12. Crosswalks are actually construction lines for catwalks. Pedestrians in them are technically tresspassing on a construction zone. Give them a taste of a few tons of justice.

13. Always carry a Panzerfaust with you. Trust me, it helps in a jam.

14. If you get in a wreck, it's automatically his fault, so don't feel obligated to give him real information. The Rejection Hotline is great for this.

15. Freeways are freeways. Go as fast as you want, it's a free country, afterall. Really, they should be called Americanways.

16. The DMV is never open at convienent hours. Never.

17. The DMV now has a drive-thru, so pulll your roarin' baby right through those sliding glass doors. To comfort your truck, the parking spaces are line with seats. Sometimes, people think these seats are for them. Wrong.

In order to survive in this crazy world, you've gotta live by your own rules. Laws are actually the governments blog, describing it's neverending eternal battle (how Emo). "Law" translates to "my own feelings" in.....Uhh... German. So, hop to it!

They never covered that in Driver's Ed...

I'm glad you posted this...now I know the true meaning of driving.

Too easy.

I think this one's only 13 days old, right?

And I abhor the woman comment!

It's just a joke XD Sorry.