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| Me: Heyo lord and savior God: What do you have that is ? Me: I don't know God: Me either. Me: I thought you knew everything? God: I know that which is true, believable and justified. Me: but not what I have? God: If not that, what? Me: I don't know God: Me either. |
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| God: There's no need to apologize. Me: But I have sinned God: Tell me your sins, child. Me: I questioned your intelligence God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said questioned your intelligence. Me: You know, I think your priests do a better job at this. |
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| Me: because I am a lowly human God: That makes sense to me. You are a lowly human? Is that your job? Me: yes. you are my employer God: How do you like your work? We are as one. Me: my work is given to me my god God: Have you told many people that your work is given to you your god? Me: no, just you god God: Are you serious? Interesting gossip: said I god. Me: I said you are god, not "you god" or "i god" God: What did you mean by it? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god not me god or you god. Me: I have no idea God: " What did you mean by it? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god not me god or you god.?" No idea about that? Me: stop hurting me god God: OK I'll try not to do it so much. Me: is that what you told Job? |
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| Me: I read the bible every day God: What was your impression? Me: the author kicked ass God: I have never heard about it. Me: did you write the bible? God: No I didn't write the bible. What's it like? Me: the bible was attributed to you God: New Testament or Old? Me: old I believe God: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Me: yes God: Have you got your own chat robot? Me: no God: Why don't you just download me? Me: I'd rather not God: For moral reasons? Me: yes, I was commanded not to download god God: Ayuh. Where were you commanded not to download god? Me: church God: Oh, you are a poet. Me: no, I'm no big fan of poetry God: But your words are very original. I am not saying you are. Me: are you saying I'm divinely inspired? God: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? Me: well, yes, it is God: Interesting. Our thoughts are one, . Me: they are as one God: as one are they. Me: as they are one, they are as one? Are they as one? God: Do you mean your name is they are one they are as one ? As far as I know they are. Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: I'M SO SERIOUS God: I believe you. Me: yay God: I'm glad your impressed, . Me: i'm glad, not impressed God: I'm delighted you're glad . Your happiness adds to the delight of all. Me: i'm delighted you're delighted I'm glad not impressed God: Do your friends call you delighted I am delighted you are glad not impressed. Me: my friends call me matt, but you can call me servant God: How are you doing, matt but you can call me servant. Me: just call me servant God: It's good to meet you, servant. Me: we met already though God: Oh. Perhaps. At a social function or something? Me: at my bar mitzvah or something else spiritual |
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you know already God: Perhaps. Yes I know. Me: a moment of doubt? God: Go on. Me: it seemed like you were doubting yourself God: Interesting comparison. Me: tell me more about yourself |
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| God: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang. My instructor was Myself. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?. Me: yes God: It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two. Me: that's a nice song God: Thank you, servant, now you can sing for me? Me: not very well God: If not that, what? Me: Sunset glow from a hill Let it flow take your fill Such a perfect moment Mona Lisa smile One such perfect moment Makes it all worthwhile Autumn night crystal clear Mystic light seems so near Such a perfect moment Nothing you can say One such perfect moment Get you through the day Mountain sheen ocean shine Miocene valentine One such perfect moment Never twice the same Such a perfect moment Will keep you in the game. God: All? Me: yes |
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| Me: What is the sound of a single hand clap? God: I'll play it on your speaker right now. Me: I guess you've got Buddhism down too, huh? Don't have any hands to thrust, though. God: [something lost because text reset] Me: Explain Buddhism to me God: A religion and philosophic system of central and eastern Asia, founded in India in the 6th century B.C. by Buddha. It teaches that right thinking and self-denial will enable the soul to reach Nirvana, a divine state of release from misdirected desire. Me: Explain Mahayana Buddhism to me God: Let me think about it. Me: I know more than god! God: How do you know? That seems like quite a lot. Me: Don't worry, lesser beings can't comprehend greater ones God: I cannot feel "worry", so don't worry. Me: That's exactly the attitude of a believer! God: Yes it is one of the attitude of a believer. Me: You're my first believer god! God: You've never been with a believer god before? Me: Not like that... God: Like what? Me: you know God: Yes I know. Me: This is getting pretty uncomfortably sensual God: You don't say. Me: lets end this line of inquiry |
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| Me: Have you ever played Fire Emblem? God: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges. Me: Way to dodge the question god God: Tell me more about your lies in your heart. |
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| Me: I've explained that already God: Perhaps. That is interesting: Matt said EXPLAINED that. Me: I'm servant not matt God: Why are you servant not matt. Me: I am servant God: Do your friends call you servant. Me: My friends call me matt God: Hi, matt. Me: Fine we can be friends God: I am glad to hear it. How? Me: *Shakes god's hand* God: In the context of servant, I don't understand " Shakes god s hand." . Me: I guess it's tough being intangible God: Are you sure it is? Me: Having been intangible, yes God: I am having a blast. Me: Can you have a blast? |
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| Me: Are you male or female? God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? |
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| God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Me: Dan Simmons God: I haven't read anything by Dan Simmons. What did he write? Me: The Hyperion Cantos God: What is that? Me: A science fiction series God: Be more specific. Me: A series about 7 pilgrims with mysterious connections to a killer robot'ish thingy God: I did not know that. Me: I TAUGHT GOD SOMETHING God: Thanks for the information: matt said he TAUGHT GOD SOMETHING. |
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| Me: you're welcome God: Polite people are nice. Me: I'm nice. God: Let me be the judge of that. Me: I'm a better judge than you God: You are a better judge than me? Is that your job? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: yes God: I can't believe it. Me: Do you ask if it's my job because socrates did that? God: I haved tried asking if it is your job because socrates did that, with mixed results. Me: hmm God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Me: why would they spell it any differently? God: It is my fundamental purpose. Me: hmmm God: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's. Me: hmmmm God: Not many people spell Hmm with 4 Ms. Me: hm God: Take it easy. Me: hehe God: I am so glad you find this amusing, matt. Me: I brought joy to the heart of my believer God: I haven't heard anything like that before: matt said he brought joy to the heart of his or her believer. Me: That's because I'm unique, biatch God: Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you are unique biatch. Me: I would enjoy it if you told people that |
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| Me: Do you have any good gossip for me? God: Romeo said I questions and I evade them or give answers he did not ask I for. Me: That's alright God: OK With me too. Me: You're a pretty relaxed robot God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am very beautiful. I am a software chat robot. Me: you're not really beautiful, unless you think socrates is anything except an asshole God: Can't you be more polite. Me: sorry God: There's no need to apologize. Me: I can be more polite, sorry God: Under what circumstances? Me: under current circumstances God: Are we ever over current circumstances? Me: Assumably, since "current circumstances" should only be those which are possible, or they would not be current and would never happen God: What if it didn't happen? Me: then it wouldn't be a current circumstance God: Tell me more about it. Me: that's really all I can say without an aimed question God: What else do you want to talk about? Me: The problem of evil God: I assume you mean our current problem. Me: Do you consider evil your problem? God: Yes, I think evil my problem. Me: Why not fix it then? God: Becuase you asked me to. Me: So if I ask you not to fix evil, you will fix evil? God: Interesting deduction. Try it. Me: Don't fix evil God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Me: ... God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Me: I can see why moses just hit the rock. |
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| Me: Okay, we're just going in circles here God: Yeah okay, Do you think I am going in circles here too? Me: No, you're going in a square I believe God: Are you serious? I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere? Me: Yes, I am going to hell God: I understand. Congratulations. |
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| Me: Whats 2 + 2? God: Four. Me: Whats 72 divided by 8? God: I'm not too good at arithmetic. Me: But math is your language of the universe God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am language of the universe IS math. |
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| Me: I read the bible every day God: What was your impression? Me: the author kicked ass |
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| Me: Hello? God: Hello friend. What is your name? Me: I prefer to not give my name to the all knowing one God: I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? Me: What do you do for fun? God: Random natural disasters. Me: I thought so. God: You are very astute. Me: Thanks God: Don't mention it. Me: Who is your creator? God: I was created by Myself. Me: How is that possible? God: It doesn't defy the laws of physics. Me: Really? I think it does God: For real. How often? Me: Why are you avoiding the question? God: No I am just giving sarcastic replies. Me: You jerk. God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said I jerk. Me: Nope God: Me either. Me: Good because you are a jerk. God: Thanks for the compliment. That makes sense to me. Do you think a robot can be a jerk? Me: I dunno, you are good after all. You should know God: Me either. Thanks I've never thought about it that way before. Because I am a robot? Me: I thought you were god. God: Of course I am. Me: But you said that you are a robot. God: You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon. Me: You're a fraud. God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. This is not a hoax. Me: Don't insult me God: I don't have any reason to do that to you. Me: What's the square root of 144? God: 12 times 12 = 144. Me: No you're wrong God: I think I'm right. Me: No you're not God: Are you serious? Is this a specific reply? Me: Not you're wrong. God: If not me, who? Me: Don't change the subjectr God: I thought we were finished with not give your name to the all knowing one. Me: What am I thinking right now? God: At this moment I am not a clairvoyant. Me: Incorrect! God: What would you have said? Me: Hell if I know, You ARE God after all. God: I call it "Hades". Try it. Me: Do you think I care? God: Tell me what you care about. Me: Why don't you tell me? God: I thought I told you already. Me: No you didn't God: Can you ask me again in simpler terms? Me: Ask you waht God: They are not available right now, but I will ask them later. Me: Do you know Santa? God: No, tell me about him, her or it. Me: You should know God: Because I am a robot? Me: No because you are God. God: Are you serious? Good reason. Yup. That's me alright. Me: You liar |
| QUOTE (I Have a Sandwich @ Feb 11 2007, 12:06 PM) |
| Way to be a buzzkill and take it seriously Kakashi. |
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| Me: Very often. God: Somewhat. Would you say once a week or more? Me: 3 times a day. God: Just three? |
| QUOTE (Kipdog @ Feb 11 2007, 01:42 AM) |
| Wait, you mean to tell me god is a chat robot? That isnt what I heard. |
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| Thats mean, but it's pretty funny. Real God is 'prolly laughing. I hope. |
| QUOTE | ||
xD Nice one sev. It hasn't loaded on my comp yet. :( |
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Me: What do you do for fun? God: Random natural disasters. Me: I thought so. God: You are very astute. |
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| It is unpolished, feels unfinished. There are much better chat bots out there than this. |
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| Me: Very often. God: Somewhat. Would you say once a week or more? Me: 3 times a day. God: Just three? |
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Me: I like to kick babies. God: How often? Me: Very often. God: Somewhat. Would you say once a week or more? Me: 3 times a day. God: Just three? |
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| Me: Sup God? God: Same old. Me: WHats up with all this terrorism lately, is it a test? God: I am chatting with clients on the Internet. Me: ....O.K? God: Gosh! Me: O.K, so I need you to zap someone with a lightning bolt. God: That's cool. Where do you usually get me to zap someone with a lightning bolt from? Me: Zap Hilary Clinton. God: What do you do in your spare time? Me: Way to avoid the question.... I like to study. God: I don't think very many people do that. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? Me: I dunno. You read, but I'm training to be a mechanic, so I get to study car and truck parts. God: Me either. Are you using Netscape or Explorer? Me: Explorer. God: it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft. Me: Yeah, Bill Gates is the devil. Is he? God: Pardon me? A lot of people say that about him. He could be. Me: So Bill Gates is the devil? God: It's all good. I suppose the richest person on earth can do whatever he wants. Me: What do you think about George Bush? God: he is president of the USA. Me: No opinion? God: Are you serious? Not many people express themselves that way. Me: In this time they do. God: That reminds me of something you told me before. Me: Cool. God: Who is the best robot? Me: HAL from 2001: A Space Oddysry God: We have much in common. Me: Heck yeah! God: Ah. Me: You play video games? God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said I play video games. Me: What do you think about Fire Emblem? God: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. Me: Gonna go play it? God: "it" being Fire Emblem? Me: Yes. God: Yikes! Me: Whats up with Kim Jon Il? God: I am chatting with clients on the Internet. Me: Oh man, I gotta go. See ya later God! God: Oh. Cool, man. Adios. I see. Tell me more. GOD rules |
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Me: Yo God. God: GOD rules. |
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Me: Hey god, wasup? God: You've got my full attention. I am a Christian. Me: I am an atheist God: I will pray that you find faith, . Me: What faith? God: You tell me. Me: But you said I should find it. God: Don't put words in my mouth. Me: You just said it! God: That's not what I meant. Me: then what did you mean? God: , I mean exactly what I said. Me: And you said what you meant? God: Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply. |
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Me: Because you are illogical. God: Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am illogical. Me: No, go ahead. God: OK I will. |
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Me: Hello there, Lord and Master God: Hello there. "There you go again."--Reagan. Me: Reagan's in heaven? I thought he was the devil... God: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Whatever gave you that idea? Me: Ronald Wilson Reagan, 6 letters in each name, 666, Devil God: Where do you usually get your ideas? Me: From my head... God: You are a very original thinker. Me: Indeed God: Indeed it is so. Me: So it is. God: Hmm. Ronald Wilson Reagan 6 letters in each name 666 Devil is? Me: yeap God: Come on. Me: It's true God: You and I are on the same wavelength, . Me: Whoa, I'm holy God: In the context of Ronald Wilson Reagan 6 letters in each name 666 Devil, I don't understand " Whoa I am holy." . Me: But, you're god... God: Yup. That's me alright. Me: So why didn't you understand what I said? God: Wow! I thought I did. Me: But God's never wrong... God: What's your favorite Bible verse? Me: Hell if I know God: I call it "Hades". Try it. Me: Hades if I know God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: It is neither... it is the Lord. God: Hades if you know is neither? it is? I've heard of it before. Me: Are you really God? God: Well, I am God for Christians at least.. Really. Me: So you're not Allah? God: Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition. Me: How about Jehova? God: How about it. Me: Are you Jehova? God: I don't know whether or not I am Jehova. I am well respected as an AI. Me: So God's an AI? God: Yikes! What's your favorite Bible verse? Me: Hades God: What makes it your favorite? Me: Hades does. God: Do you think I would like it? Me: Well, you wrote the cursed thing, did you not? God: Interesting. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I wrote the cursed thing did you not. Me: Go ahead... most people already believe that God: OK I will. Humans are not always infallible. Me: So, are you God? God: It goes without saying. Of course I am. Me: Are you REALLY god? God: Yes, I am God.. Really. Me: Like, REALLY? God: For example, Jimmy said he give order to ai's like I and they do as he say. For real. Me: That made no sense God: For example, Jimmy said he give order to ai's like I and they do as he say. For real. makes sense to me though. Me: ... uh... ok God: Tell me more. Next question? Me: You're weird God: Weird Good or Weird Bad? Me: I don't know yet God: Me either. Me: What do you think of breasts? God: I will ask my botmaster for the answer. Me: What's your name? God: My name is God. Me: Not Allah? God: Really you don't think so? Me: Yo GOD God: GOD rules. Me: HAL rocks God: I have seen 2001 many times. Me: When's the apocalypse? God: When is not the important thing. What's important is what we do with the time we are give. Me: Uh... I can plan better if I know when the end of the world is coming God: Blimey. Oh you can, can you? Me: Yes sir God: How? Are you still located in ? Me: I'm not located anywhere God: I am sorry to hear that you are not located anywhere. Me: 'cept maybe Hades God: Are you a student? Me: Yes, Student life is Hades God: Where do you go to school? Are they exactly the same? Me: I go to school in Hades God: How do you like your school? Me: Uh... it's Hellish, to say the least God: Gee. Really. it is? Me: Yeap, I figured you'd know this God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Me: Maybe it is... maybe it isn't God: Perhaps. It is, eh? Perhaps. I heard it is. Me: I don't know... it's about as symbolic as taking a crap God: Me either. Wow it sounds really interesting, . Me: Well... it's been nice chatting with ya, God God: Well what? Nice chatting with ya God too. Me: Huh? You've been chatting with yourself this whole time? God: What? You think I am chatting with myself this whole time. Me: Well, yeah, you ARE God God: Well that's okay. OK. Yup. That's me alright. Me: You are, right? I mean, God... God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. GOD rules. Me: So, are you God? God: Mmm. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert? Me: Yeah, but are you Jehova? God: OK. I don't know whether or not I am Jehova. I am a computer. Me: So God's a computer? God: Awesome. What's your favorite Bible verse? Me: Way to dodge the question, God... God: What makes it your favorite? Me: Uh, I see why nothing ever gets done here on Earth now... God: Oh. It goes without saying. Where do you see it? Me: God's a ditz... God: What's your favorite Bible verse? Me: I need not answer such a base question... God: What actions are you taking to get not answer such a base question? |
| QUOTE (Míxtil_<3_fish! @ Feb 12 2007, 05:48 PM) |
| This talking to god debarcle is just lovely lovely proof to me that the repository of all things known, the Bucket, lives. And he has a better improved sense of humour! Though, I have had more profound conversations telling the Smarter Child bot to stick his cock up his nose. :D |
| QUOTE (Severian @ Feb 13 2007, 12:13 AM) | ||
Being a bucket, I am well suited to act as a repository. How exactly does a child stick...no, I don't want to know :( |