Well I was thinking about my first 1 (currently on my 2nd... sorta...) and it sort of seemed like a game to me... is this normal... or am I just mean and heartless?

you are mean and heartless, emo

What do you a mean when you say a relationship is "a game"? I un get it. Relationship problems much? =/

You're not giving much detail...so I can't be sure, but...

Well, I know that for me, all of my relationships barring my current one have been for physical want, not emotional stuff, at least on my side. Probably some of the time for the girl, too.

I don't think it's necessarily abnormal. You are a teenager, you've got hormones, and I don't know about you, but I wasn't really interested in an emotional commitment on the level any relationship should probably be based in for a while.

I also found someone who I didn't really know that well and built something from nothing - I don't think I could've based love on friendship with the other girls I'm close to.

A game? How so? I'm intrigued.

I actually don't want any relationships. I feel like I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of that degree; if I ever got involved, one foot would be in the door the entire time. Plus, there's underlying emotional problems I've got to sort out before I consider dating. Plus, boys are icky. (Kidding, don't hurt me. -_- )

Well... to me... it's like learning a game and then trying to bend those rules to what you want. After a while you bend to many rules that the admin (or in this case the girl) is mad at you (or knows your not right for her)... and kicks you out of the game (her life) making you null and void... yep... that about sums it to me... PM if you have any more questions relating to the details of what I think it's like...

(Sara, Puff, Kurai... please don't hurt me X.X)

Did you just compare girls to admins that can ban you any way they want? xD
You should try hacking the game then. xD

Anyways, in the beginning, I think it's like that for most people. Most people say you need experience before having the real thing. That way, you won't screw up when you finally meet the girl of your life. Or something like that. You can compare that to an RPG; you need a few levels before taking on the final boss.

You forgot Hiyami! Now she'll get mad at you. :o
More probably not, she seems to kind for that. :/

Bluntly, I know nothing on the subject. Obviously, how else do you go 0/30 in your life, everytime being in the friend zone or it's a "Eww get away from me you monster!" thing.

Aren't people GREAT?

Seriously though, it might be a game. A game I completely suck at. ^_^

I think you should ignore everyone except for Severian, because hes got the right idea, most relationships start out purely as a means to an end, what I'm talking about is the physical part, getting laid is freakin' awesome, and most people will stick with one person even if they don't "love" them for that reason. Unless there really is an emotional connection between you two don't take it too seriously and just have fun with it, she'll be more happy if you're happy.

*hisses in anger*

Anyhow, isn't a relationship just a bond? The way I see it, if it doesn't work out, then it just doesn't work. Move on, forget about this and that.

Or does that make me sound messed up? Personally, I don't see the point in a relationship. Not anymore, anyways. I guess if you think it's that important...

Anyhow, you get into a girl's life because of how she looks? That's so mean!!! TT

They're guys, sweetie. That's the bluntest way I can put it, but it makes perfect sense to me.

A game... well, in a way. Depends on your viewpoint of relationships. Bending people is easier, yes, but I think it all depends on your goal. The ends justify the means, you know? If you're only with the girl for selfish reasons and don't care for her... then don't be with her, simple. I know I'd rather be hurt than be with a guy who doesn't care about me. Maybe this is all because I'm a girl, though. We tend to think of relationships in different terms.

It's a game. When you're dating hentai anyway. ;)

Bah, You girls like we're the only ones who use you. Girls use guys too, as much as you want to deny it, you can't because you know it's true. All guys don't just want to get into your pants, some actually my want a lasting relationship, Not many guys out there are like that but still there are some. But relationships aren't reall a game, they are more like learning expierences, I mean when you have your first girlfriend or boyfriend don't you tend to not know what to do or how to act? You learn how to hang around with them and just act casual around them so when you meet the right person it's all familiar to you.

*layeth down the smackdown upon thee*

Although what you say is true Juan, there's a big difference in it. Girls probably don't use guys to "get laid". They probably do it to get presents. I mean, all my friends that have girlfriends all complain about the same thing.

"I have no money at the end of the month."

This topic is born to make the genders go at eachother's throats. xD (Especially the females, they tend to do verbal warfare more than males.)

It's a game.

Two quotes:

1. "Live and learn and then just Luvs."

2. "Love like you've never been hurt."

Alright, so your first relationship didn't work out. Whoop-dee-doo! - Neither did mine, I wasn't all up for the whole "What are you thinking? What's wrong? Why don't you talk to me?" thing coming from him. (Then again, I kept everything bottled until after my second boyfriend.) :o Guess what? THE TUTORIAL IS OVERRRR!

"The tutorial" being the first and most awkward "relationship." (In my opinion, anyways.) But as like a lot of tutorials, you don't really learn that much - gotta go through the levels to pick things up. Then again, each is different (each girl IS different, thank you very much. <<)

I'm mentally distraught/confused by a lot of guys (and girls) actually. And it sickens me to hell when they're just in it for the looks - Uhhh, infatuation, anyone? Then again, I guess it works for some people 'cause they're not INVOLVED so, when they split, they move on to the next one... then the next... then the next... then the next... *Ahem*

Escusez-moi. Pardon. . . I don't remember my point. X_X

With a lot of guys and girls, it is a game because girls don't know what they want - so they'll break up with you, then come back claiming that it was a mistake, then you'll be going out again; then she'll break it off again and come running back claiming that it's a mistake, etc.. - Some guys do that too, though. Argh, it's so pathetic.

Then you have the people - like me - who don't follow quote number two up there. So, one relationship after the other they're afraid to say or do things because they "don't have ESP" - we don't know what's going to happen in the future, so if we say/do something now, then something different happens in the future... we're afraid of hurting someone/being hurt, or being called hypocrites, liars, whores, etc.. Personally, one two of my deepest fears are of the future and committment - but I'm gradually overcoming those.

... Err... What was your problem again?

I'm noticing that the females here are a little touchy on this subject (what else is new?) and I just wanted to say that no matter what guys say about not wanting to get into your pants, he's lying. At least i have the balls to say it straight up, if I'm flirting with a girl its for one reason (as a rule, and remember all rules have exceptions, I might be flirting to get something else from her).

There is no such thing as love at first sight so I don't know why people freak about it? I enjoy what I do and I like to think that girls don't leave unhappy at the end of the night/morning. When you meet "The One" you'll know, and if you're not sure, then they're not it. Keep looking.

But on the flip side theres nothing wrong with being happy while you're looking for that person. If you can find someone who you can sit and chill with and tell them the shit that bugs you and have them understand, well thats a rare thing so don't just be like "I don't love you so I can't be with you" because thats not all relationships are about, its also about the support that you give each other and all that Jazz. I really do have more to say on the subject but I can't think right now, I'll post again in a little.

Well, that's typical... But that's not what I was going to say -

Guys have hands - and toys - too, ya'll don't need to be bangin' every girl ya see. It's not a wonder why STDs go around so quickly, lotsa guys are whores. (Moreso than a lot of girls - from Dur's perspective.)

Whoaaaa whoa whoa. Settle down now, where did I say that banging everything in a skirt is a good thing? Where did I say that unprotected sex is "cool"? And who said anything about guys OR girls being whores? What does being a whore have to do with enjoying yourself? If you CHOOSE to go out on a friday/saturday and meet someone thats your choice, and even if you do meet someone really cool/funny/hot/whatever you're looking for you don't HAVE to sleep with them. Obviously you've never done anything like that before so I dont' expect much from you but no bodys perfect.

Whoa, this topic is much more interesting than I gave it credit for. :o

Despite the fact that I've hardly read any of the topic, merely skimming it here's my opinion on what I've gathered:

Of course a man will want to "get into a girls pants." It's natural to want sex, and it's natural to like it. I even know girls that talk about sex with other boys and the only thing I find shocking about that is that they're MY AGE.

Some woman do it for BOTH. Don't act like woman are like anti-sexual freaks, because I said earlier in my post.. THAT'S UNNATURAL. Yet some may want it more than others, but the same can be said about men too.

Guys have toys? o_O

But seriously, "whore" is the wrong word to use. It's a double standard. If a male want sex, it's normal. If a female wants it, she's a whore. That's not true, yet it will always be the double standard. That's at least the males thought. A female may call a guy who wants sex a pervert. But that's not true either. Because it's fucking normal.

But basicly the general society believes sex is wrong, and anybody who wants sex is either a pervert or a whore. x_x It's actually quite annoying when I hear my friends talking about a really nice girl a whore.

As for unprotected sex.. we need it. D: STDs suck, but we need to reproduce too you know. As for teen sex and one night stands well... we shouldn't be doing either. D:

On the high school level, I'm looking for the hottest chick that puts out. I'm not looking for an emotional soul mate, or any gay shit like that.

I actually laughed at that -

Good to have you back, Hiei. I missed you.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

You win.

I won't deny that I use guys. I do. The difference is that I'm not in it for material purposes. Right now, I'm manipulating a guy I know to lose his arrogant attitude so that my friends actually like him. If they like him, then I don't have to get weird looks and stuff when he talks to me, and he's really a sweetheart beyond the arrogance. :/

There's only two guys that I've actually been able to open up to on an emotional level. One, I've known since I was two. The other's bi and hangs around with solely girls, anyway. Besides that, I have a right to be cynical, don't I?

However, I agree with the learning experience thing. The way I think of it is that if a relationship goes bad, take the trait(s) that killed it and make sure you don't fall for someone like that again. Simple. By process of elimination, you'll find someone that's perfect for you.

It's funny, though... how almost everyone who's posted here believes that there's someone who's perfect for them. That you all believe in true love. It's suprising.

:wub: If I was looking for a soul mate, believe me, I'd come to MA and we'd get married sweetness.

Worrd to the first quote, I like that. As to the last one, kinda creepy Hiei. But seriously I agree with the first one, I'm not really looking for anything meaningful, I've had a "deep, soul level connection" with a girl and you know what it got me? A broken hand a 2 less friends, *music* not a jealous man but females lie*/music* Seriously though it was good for a long time but girls can be so..... contrary.

I think boys are icky too.

With perseverance everyone will come through eventually. I don't know if that's really true, but you should make it your mantra anyway and keep working.

It always helps ease tension when someone posts an award-winning comedy post in a semiserious topic. A winner is you.

I actually have met a fair number of girls who rather progressively refuse to be treated for everything and get all the gifts. I've never tried anything with any of 'em, though :(

If he says he 'doesn't just want to get into your pants' it could be true. I might not look for a deep commitment, but I don't want to have sex with people I hate (there are few enough of 'em so I can avoid em without depriving myself). Or if you offer and he refuses, but that'll never happen if he's a teenager.

There is lust at first sight, though, and it can be hard to tell for some people. For some reason, some people seem to think hotness makes a girl - or guy - an inherently better person. Well, it kinda does make things easier, but it makes them worth spending a night, a week, a month with, not a lifetime.

As far as true love...well, iunno. I don't think there's only one person out there who can make me happy. I don't think I'll be happy with anyone on day 1. Although the ancient greeks loved little boys and kinda freak me out a bit, the basic idea of agape - which is (loosely) a truly thought out love which develops over time and ain't necessarily about sex - resonates with me. But I don't expect to find it with girls in high school, so while I've found a valuable relationship I never expected to find it. And while it's sad to think about, I don't expect it to last, and I'm ok with that.

Deep dude. Real cute.

come now :wub:

What about me? =/

Our household would be hectic when UNC played UMD. >:[

...I feel so different from you guys...:(

I don't really see why it has to go like that. In high school, is that really all guys really think about? Just another body to... what was the term... 'boink'? [I just found out what it meant. Did I use it properly?]

From the way I see it, if someone IS using the other, don't they usually feel bad about it? I would feel really guilty if I was using someone for the things they had, whether in body or money. I just can't get the idea out of my head.

What if things were different? I mean, if he/she really liked you, would you still just use them?

I don't like being used. Even when it's by people close to me... I try to remember that if I even consider using other people, but I will admit, sometimes I do it without thinking.

We're kinda different, then. I don't mind being used. I figure that if people are using me, then I'm at least finding a way to make them happy, and as long as people are happy... I'm fine. :/

Using people does make me feel bad. Then I use the guilt to form a wedge between me and them, successfully pushing me away from them for at least a while. Either that or I confess it all and let them decide.

The way it is with me... I've pretty much got goals, and I don't want to be in a relationship to complicate them. I'm a selfish person, and I know that any relationship I could ever be in would be doomed to fail before it even started because of my personality. It's not really fair to refuse to bend your morals, but expect other people to.

It's just... being used without knowing about it, I should have said. If they had come clean from the beginning, there'd be a twinge and maybe a but of hurt. Still, if I know, maybe it'd be not as evil and inhumane?

As far as pushing them away... Well... That's complicated. It's a process that a person goes through naturally, I suppose, but... I would hate to be on the recieving end of distance. Confusion and whatnot.

I like the confession idea~ Might as well just spell it out for them. Whether or not they stay or go after that is up to them. That way, at least the person knows more about the other.

Morals shmorals. Important, yes. But they don't rule your world. I guess I don't really get morals, or understand them much. Are they the same as values? If you feel something, then go, ne? Either way, you feel or don't feel. Meh. Made more sense in my mind, I think.

I think relationships differ a bit more from country to country after reading what all you guys said. Over here, sex usually isn't the ultimate goal of a relationship. It's the actual talking and friendship here. Sex is just a bonus. Heck, I know couples who has been together for a year without doing it. (Then there's the sad people like me who has barely ever had a girlfriend but that's besides the point.

*ahem*

Saying sex is what everyone wants out of a relationship is unbelievable in my ears. I mean, if sex is all we wanted, then we'd just rape someone. Of course, raping someone is illegal, so we don't do that. But getting into a relationship just for that seems kinda lame for me. If you just want sex, then there's One Night Stands.

Yes, I'm probably one of the few guys in the world that honestly thinks like this, but then again, I am way different than others.

Is sex a bonus? Isn't it the making of a child with someone that you love? Someone that you love enough to wish to open up to? To give everything up for?

Err, you're right of course. I just don't think a baby is what you want in your teens.

It's true, but some people are so secure in their love for each other that having a child is what they do. If things were so straightforward that you could be secure, I think you'd do the same. This person wouldn't leave you. You'll never have to worry about being alone. He's a drug to you.

You can't get away from him because your love for him, even. I think if someone truly loved someone, they'd go through with anything, if only for the fact without having to pull the age old, 'If you loved me, you'd ....' crud.

I got confused at what you wrote, so I barely understand half of it now >.<

However, one of my teachers once brought up three rules humans cannot go against if they want to be called sane.

1. We want to survive, meaning if you want to kill yourself, you're sick.

2. We don't want to starve, meaning that girls(I can't think of any guy that has anorexia) that starve themselves to get slim are sick.

3. We want to reproduce, meaning we want to have children or we're called sick. Then they invented condoms and a large percentage of the population in the world got branded insane all of sudden.

Probably nothing to do with the topic, but it felt right to say it. :/

Heh much less serious, so it makes things not so heavy in terms of mood, ne?

I can't stand heavy seriousness for a long time at all. It cramps my style. >_> <_<